Friday, April 24, 2015

From poodle lovers to fish killers, there's all the fun of a luna park today in the pond ...

(Above: so over it and still a day to go, but clearly Pope's having the same thought, and more Pope here. Thank the long absent lord for that radical, revolutionary ship-jumping, law-breaking trade wobbly commie socialist pinko pervert unionist offering some comfort with his donkey).

Paw up, poodle lovers. Harden the paw up.

Did you really think that leaking to Fairfax that it was all the fault of master Tony and mistress Peta would get the poodle off the hook?

Fairfax Media has confirmed with multiple sources that the idea was conceived in the Prime Minister's Office, with Mr Abbott and chief of staff Peta Credlin personally driving the decision to fund the centre. 
Mr Abbott referred to and praised Dr Lomborg in his 2009 book Battlelines. 
One insider said Mr Pyne had "nothing to do with the idea", while another said the Education Minister had been "crucified" for the decisions of others. (here).

Come on poodle lovers, all that means is the poodle's some kind of sap, some kind of sucker, some kind of fall guy, some kind of dummy in a film noir or a crime novel ...

You know, the dummy that carries out the crime for love and then gets lumbered with the caper. Just to imagine the poodle as William Hurt and Peta as Kathleen Turner in Poodle Heat makes the pond's head reel ...

If the poodle hated the idea so much, why did he run around the house boasting about the droppings he left under the aspidistra on the what not in the lounge room?

Are you saying he's a blithering idiot that would yap and bark on command, without the first clue what he's yapping about, so long as it pleases the mistress and the master?

Well that may be, but he's still a naughty poodle. Waiter, that rolled up copy of the lizard Oz please ...

Yes, on it merrily rolls, with WA academics in uproar at Fairfax here, but even the reptiles had to run the story, albeit in terse form, and what do you know, one line even acknowledges that climate targets might be part of the game:

But thankfully there was one reptile ready to stand firm and to stand solid, and wouldn't you know it, it was the van oscillating man himself:

Uh huh. What's the bet that the prolix prof waxes for a really long time about the joys of being Bjorn?

That's it? That's as good as it gets?

It's clear and consistent?

Well there you go, is there any better evidence of the state of reasoning and logic in Western Australian academic circles?

Meanwhile, punters who visit certain papers might get to read this sort of stuff:

...the deputy chief executive of the Climate Institute, Erwin Jackson, said a quarter of the $2.55bn emissions reduction fund had been spent to secure just 15% of the reduction of greenhouse gas emissions needed for Australia to meet its target of a 5% cut by 2020, based on 2000 levels. 

“Things might get better in future auctions but they’ve already spent a quarter of the money and all the analysis suggests that these prices won’t get significant emissions reductions,” he said. “There is no confidence that we can even meet our woefully inadequate targets with this. 
“The broader issue is why are taxpayers footing the bill rather than the big polluters doing any of the heavy lifting? The public is bearing the cost here rather than the big polluters.” (here at the Graudian).

So let's see how the hard-hitting reptiles give the Greg Hunt claims a thorough going over, a severe examination:

The bromancer does foreign affairs and climate science and all from a supine, boot-licking position? Why the man's a chenius, a bloody chenius ...

The same, unfortunately, can't be said for Leigh Sales. Her performance last night interviewing Greg Hunt was a tragedy in search of a snark.

It didn't begin well:

Now don't switch off; I know it sounds a bit dry and complicated, but I will explain.

And with that imitation of a kindergarten teacher out of the way, she went on, with the help of Hunt, to give the pond the distinct impression of being back with Alice and Humpty Dumpty:

LEIGH SALES: Minister, if you can address my point, at $13.95 per tonne, the amount set today, given that you have $2.55 billion to spend, you will fall short of Australia's targets by about 57 million tonnes. 
GREG HUNT: No, that's false. 
LEIGH SALES: OK, so how are you going to reach the targets? 
GREG HUNT: Well, what are you assuming is the target? 
LEIGH SALES: I'm assuming that the target is five per cent by 2020. 
GREG HUNT: Correct. We'll achieve it. 
LEIGH SALES: So are you going to reach that? 
GREG HUNT: Yes, we will. 
LEIGH SALES: OK, so today...

Okay, so it went on from there, with Hunt smirking and making claims, and Sales flailing and failing to land a single question ...

So what happened when we reached a contentious lie?

GREG HUNT: ... it (the carbon tax) wasn't achieving emissions reduction, which is the whole purpose here. 

LEIGH SALES: Minister, I'm sorry, we're out of time, unfortunately. There's so much more that we could discuss. Thank you very much for coming in. (here, if you must).

It was as dismal a performance as the pond has seen in some time, and a reminder of why watching the 7.30 show is largely a waste of time, generating much heat and carbon, but very little light ...

There was more fun to be had at the 7.30 hashtag than by watching the actual performance. There were graphs:

And there were comedy items:

Oh the comedy, the comedy:

But wait, the pond is appreciative that its first duty each day is to serve up a hearty portion of lizard and it would be remiss of the pond not to feature in the in-depth thinking of Greg "the bromancer" Sheridan.

But wait, there's always someone hanking for a free set of steak knives, so first let's ask a question.

Were there any punters out there who plunged bravely and boldly on the notion that the bromancer would at some point in his piece, berate the ABC, Fairfax and the climate change industry?

If so, congratulations. You can now retire to a life of leisure though perhaps in view of the recent battering NSW copped from wave action, you might be better off risking bushfires in an idyllic rural retreat than settling down by the sea:

That's it you ask? That's the whole box and dice, and such a bold set of assertions without so much as the slightest bit of proof?

Everything's for the very best in the very best of all reptile worlds?

Well yes, and the pond has noticed that the reptiles of late are getting increasingly short and lazy in their propaganda efforts.

That's what happens when they get pampered and bloated and well-fed.

Never mind, it's the weekend, and thanks to the all of the above, there's no need to go into the darker parts of the Australian psyche, with that job left to David Rowe, and more Rowe here:


  1. Oh Dorothy!...All the best comedic lines were stolen this morning by Greg Hunt himself!...He was a laugh a minute...NO!..a laugh a ten seconds..that's how long he took to get one sentence out!...It's like telling a joke, only to have the punch-line revealed by a spoiler just before you deliver it...there's really little left to say!

  2. I am reliably informed, DP, that, due to cultural sensitivities, Ms Bishop will attend the executions of the Bali Two dressed in bikini.

    1. That cracked a big laugh! I like the cut of your humor UC.

    2. A couple of "our boys" about to go over the top to celebrate 100 years of ANZAC. Splendid. Maybe we'll toss a brace of pennies and skol a few beers, then forget all about them. Best not to let awkward events sit around to fester. Waiter!

    3. After the event, stand back for a vicious onslaught of deep sanctions against Indonesia, authorised by the UN on behalf of Ms Bishop. Or a shiny article on her style, walking away.

  3. It pains me to admit it, but Sheridan is an even heaver consumer of the kool-aid than Cater. How could he get it so wrong in so many places? The graphic you cited is all that's needed. To revisit Van Oscillating's analogy (in the original LBJ form) "Sheridan couldn't chew gum and scratch his ass at the same time."

    Sales is overrated at 730, possibly because she had Uhlmann as the measuring stick. Her bombastic attempts at gotchas, telegraphed far too early, allow any pollie with some media coaching to sidestep. Sarah Henderson's temporary sojourn on the program showed what was possible and almost restored ABC's credibility in News and Current Affairs. Its failings are for the opposite reasons that the Reptiles raise.

    1. Must agree with every single word you wrote DG. Saved a bit of typing .Thank you. I actually just left the room halfway through the Sales/Hunt cuddle. It was either that or smash the telly.

  4. Any evidence the donkey was an English national too?

  5. Sheridan: "There may be legitimate criticism that not all of the projects of emissions reductions in Hunt’s scheme are guaranteed not to have gone ahead without the government money they will receive."

    Wrong. It should be: "It is legitimate to claim that all of the projects of emissions reductions in Hunt's scheme will go ahead only due to the government money they receive." Or, gravy train for polluters courtesy of the taxpayers.

  6. Brandis put out a media release yesterday informing us of his intended visit to the United Kingdom to represent the Australian Government at Anzac Centenary commemorative events being held in London.

    “I will attend the Dawn Service at Wellington Arch, where I will lay a wreath on behalf of the Australian Government. I will also participate in a memorial service at the Cenotaph, and will attend a memorial service at St Paul’s Cathedral and a Service of Commemoration at Westminster Abbey”

    I wonder if he will host once again “important stakeholders” at the Corinthia Hotel’s fine-dining Massimo Restaurant and again consume part of three bottles of 2010 vintage Tyrrell’s Semillion-Sauvignon and also Italian Vin Santo del Chianti Bonacchi dessert wine as well as glasses of Laurent-Perrier Champagne?

    1. I wonder if he will stay awake during the service.

  7. For readers of the graph on the 730 hashtag, be aware of the misleading left hand side axis, which doesn't start at zero.

  8. The brilliance of the bromancer.
    Apart from taking the optimistic projections of a government minister as 'truthi-fact', there is the idiotic absurdity in his closing statement.
    If Australia meets it's targets in 2020 it will hurt Labor in 2016.


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