Wednesday, February 04, 2015

It's back to work Wednesday at the pond ...

(Above: and more excellent Rowe here).

It's back to work Wednesday here at the pond. Yes, it's back to work Wednesday, and as its back to work Wednesday, that's why the pond is getting back to work this very Wednesday.

The pond doesn't want to look back at its tremendous record. The pond has no interest in navel gazing, but we should note a number of significant achievements.

Thus far:

The climate and the oceans are warming, and we have achieved record levels last year;
The gulags are bubbling along nicely;
And the public transport systems have been degraded, while everywhere there's nothing but tar and cement.

But let us not brood about these great achievements. The pond needs to get on with business, and will have none of this talk about the pond's leadership. Instead, in a collegial and consultative way, we intend to make a fresh start, and first item on the agenda is the wonderful news regarding interest rates.

Now the pond is aware that, under the previous government, there was mischievous talk that low interest rates showed the economy was in bad shape, and this was a BAD THING. It's important to understand that the circumstances have changed, and now a low interest rate is a sure sign that the economy is in tremendous shape. This is a GOOD THING. There is simply no impediment to growth whatsoever, and let us never talk of a budget emergency again, at least until we need to ...

What's that you say? You have a problem with the pond's leadership?

Oh okay, it's time for the daily trudge through the antediluvian swamp observing the habitat and mood of the reptiles.

It has to be said that the mood seems vexed. There seems to be much swishing of tails and territorial agitation:

Oh dear, let's sample the thoughts of Miranda the Devine:
The Devine lays into architect Frank Gehry for his Sydney building - ugh - while confessing to having failed first year architecture, a brave and startling admission - and flogs the mind set of NASA as being closed, no doubt huge fun for those who gaze on the pages of Murdoch la la land bemused by the closed minds that are on daily parade:

Yes, there you go. Permission granted to roll the jaffas down the aisle at "what's needed is an open mind".

But as always the pond looks most towards the reptiles of the lizard Oz for a sure sign of how the wind is blowing in dinosaur land, and a check on the most open minds in the land.

Happily the reptiles have done their best to push the sordid fuss to the side of the page:

But there's no doubt the reptiles are in a state of high agitation, and everyone is brooding about the impending apocalypse, sure in the knowledge if something happens, it will be a disaster, and if nothing happens, it will be a festering sore, scratched at by wicked folk at Fairfax and the ABC:

Where to start? It's like being bombarded from on high by zooming squads of pterodactyls and pteranodons ...

But as always the pond goes with Dame Slap, who is in deep mourning for a lost, loyal warrior who knew the value of loyalty. Dame Slap is also deep into coaching mode:

Now some gobsmacked readers might wonder at this astonishing recollection, through dim, misty, watery eyes of the Abbott of old while pausing to admire the sideswipe at blinkered critics, invariably from Fairfax.

Yes, there's Miranda the Devine's open minds and open doors in wondrous action.

But let's trudge on.

Let's have an even deeper invocation of a loyal man doing loyal things, and even getting Pauline Hanson jailed using entirely suspect means and methods and money:

Oh dear, it's back to Chairman Rupert's theme song, and Credlin making the ultimate sacrifice.

The poor thing, quarantining him from Liberal MPs, but simply unable to quarantine him from his monarchist self. Well that's the reason she should accept the blame. Fancy working for a monarchist!

But let's trudge even deeper into the swamp, and this vexing question of loyalty. Is it too late for Credlin to save the day?

Ah, so it's an elegy for the bunker mentality, and now Abbott is going to become a martyr and in a final act of loyalty hand over the leadership. 

But don't count on it. But don't count it out either. Don't count it in either. Sheesh, just watch Sesame Street and learn to count. 

Now here's a quick snapshot of Tony Abbott as seen through Dame Slap's eyes:

What a kinky sight, and more St. Sebastian chatter here.

But wait, there's more. Because this is a super dooper back to work Wednesday, the pond even read that pompous portentous prat Paul Kelly, lamenting and hand-wringing and moaning and keening and sighing:

Oh dear, we'll all be rooned said Hanrahan. What to do, what to do?

Adolescent chaos! Political bloodbath! Politics broken! 

Turning and turning in the widening gyre, the Abbott cannot hear the Kelly falconer. Things fall apart, the right wing ratbags cannot hold, mere anarchy and much drivel is loosed upon the world, the blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere the mendacity of tripe floats to the surface. The worst are full of passionate intensity and a deep bewilderment, as the rough Brough slouches towards the party room in Canberra (has anyone thought of moving it to Bethlehem for the day?).

Do we have a dream team to save the show?

So there you go. It's Turnbull, Bishop and Morrison, and then, long absent lord save us, in due course Zinger Bill ...

So there you go. That's how deep the doom and gloom has reached, as the dinosaurs lift their heads up from the swamp floor to see the eerie, glowing light emanating from the meteor as it plummets towards the earth ...

But wait, this is super dooper Wednesday, and the hard-working pond has done a real slog through the reptile swamp.

It was impossible to ignore the total deliciousness of Chris Kenny having yet another ABC freak out:

Yes, yes, it's a well known fact that Rupert Murdoch simply absolutely does not interfere in Australian, American or British politics in any way, absolutely and at any time. Why if he did, it would be positively un-Australian ...

There's a lot more by Kenny, but the pond has to confess that by that point, the pond had become extremely tired, and as everyone knows, under the new Work Choices scheme, there's no extra payment for ovetime.

As he meandered on, Kenny explained how there was no silicon chip implanted in his head, and rambled on about the ABC's mendacity and silliness, and so on and so forth and etc. but the funniest thing came from the way he explained how everyone in the commentariat thinks alike, as on the subject of Peta Credlin - Paul Sheehan, Piers Akerman, Miranda the Devine, and Kenny himself. They all had the same thought, and it had absolutely nothing to do with Chairman Rupert, who came to the game late.

Yes, the puppet master didn't have to say anything, because the puppets were on the right wavelength.

Which brings the pond back to that question of open minds, and the deep mystery of starlings in flight. If it's not a silicon chip implanted in their heads, how do they manage it?

Who knows, but on a daily basis it surely looks a lot like the reptiles in Murdoch la la land, with bonus Paul "magic water" Sheehan.

It's also typically wondrous that, at this time of deep crisis, Kenny should head off to a remote corner of the swamp to give the ABC a bit of biffo, not realising how, while denying the influence of Chairman Rupert, he celebrates the profound group think of the commentariat ...

Is there anything that could top this farcical nonsense?

You really shouldn't have asked ...

But that's enough for this sooper dooper Wednesday. The pond is now looking forward to the party room fun, and all the rumblings and ructions sure to fill the void in the coming days ...

And if you, hard working Wednesdayites doing your bit for the country, have made it this far, you deserved a medal or a gong. Call yourself a knight or a dame if you like, and here's a cartoon which explains how it's all your fault (and more Pope here):


  1. Kenny: “Are they [ABC] suggesting that one of the world’s most successful media moguls sits in New York — overseeing major corporations worth $80 billion or more, with tens of thousands of employees across countless newspapers, television outfits and other companies — flicking instructions about commentary on Australia’s issues of the day to individual journalists?”

    No, Murdoch does not flick instructions on issues of the day but he undoubtedly tries to set the agenda. And News Ltd journalists know what the agenda is.

    On 26 Jan 2007 Rupert Murdoch attended the World Economic Forum, Davos, Switzerland. Here is part of the transcript and can be seen here

    Charlie Rose: Is there any agenda you want to shape?

    Laughter in the audience

    Rupert Murdoch: No, not at all……….I think good strong views organisations can, by disclosing things, help shape the agenda, but only in a limited way.

    Rose: For example, take the war, has, I’m not just talking of the US but in terms of you having a global media enterprise have you shaped that agenda at all in terms of perception of the war, in terms of how the war is viewed ?

    Murdoch: No, I don’t think so. I mean, we’ve tried

    Laughter in the audience

    Rose: Tried in what way?

    Murdoch: well we basically supported our papers and television.

    Kenny the sycophant, fawner, flunkey, lackey, doormat can read between the lines.

  2. So what would Kenny make of this from Sally Young in The Age today (

    "Last week, Murdoch put Abbott to a cruel public test. It has been apparent for months that Abbott's chief of staff, Peta Credlin, has done something to displease Murdoch/News Corp. Her name started coming up in unglowing terms months ago. But, last week, Murdoch applied the blowtorch by tweeting a public demand that Abbott sack Credlin. This is a staff member Abbott is said to be "intensely loyal" and "close" to.

    Murdoch put Abbott in a no-win situation. If Abbott sacked Credlin, he would look like Murdoch's poodle. If he didn't, the Murdoch press would use it as a justification for pulling support.

    Did one of News Corp's columnists, Miranda Devine, reveal the problem when she said at the weekend that Credlin was not returning the phone calls of "important people". Who could this be? News Corp editors? Murdoch himself?

    It is unprecedented to use a staff member in a public tug-of-war, so there is obviously a story there. If it is not known now, it will come out eventually."

  3. It's but a murmur, DP, nothing to do with group-think. A simple Law of physics, you know, a wing is ripped off a butterfly in NYC, etc.
    If you needed some cheer, listening to Hockey's bluster & blather on 774 would not have helped. He was followed by Eminence Grise himself, Mr Robb. [Pardon me, stifling a yawn.] Two of Abbott's communication problems.

  4. Schtarker, this is Kaos, ve don't do that here.

    Something about art imitating life, yes Get Smart is still on the idiot box.

    1. lol I keep thinking Kaos every time I hear the claim that this is our fate if we continue being fickle and absent-minded. Of course there is a site where Captain Catastrophe could be nominated for Kaos agent of the month.

      I don't think this is chaotic. This is a phase transition and humanity is moving onto a new attractor state that is emerging as cooperativity and generosity replace competitiveness and selfishness and the boundary conditions - that shape our interactions - change.

  5. What if Scott Morrison ends up as PM. Maybe Brough and Jensen are stalking for him.

    Miss pp

    1. Indeed Miss pp, It could be very interesting finding out what the public think of Christians who speak in tongues at the institution that Scott and his fellow worshippers call a church. Seems to me from what I read that this Hillsong place is more like the temple of the money-changers and I'm wishing Jesus would come back and do his thing again.

    2. How will we tell if he is speaking in tongues? We have been listening to gibberish for some time now. Morrison's temple is not Hillsong but something called Shire something or other.

      Miss pp

    3. Hello again Anon. Indeed Jesus would be very astonished by the mega churches belief that God wants us to be rich. The Irish nuns who taught - and inspired me - for many years used to tell us about rich men not fitting through the eye of needles, giving money to the poor etc etc.

      Miss pp

    4. You were taught by nuns Miss pp? How interesting. When I was young I loved the costumes the nuns wore and was very intrigued by 'the Catholics', because of the stories I heard about and from private school girls, of nuns who told them not to wear shiny patent leather shoes because boys could see their underwear reflected in them, and to put talcolm powder on their bath water so they didn't see their private parts under the water.

      There were some bloody wonderful nuns back in the day though - not Mother Theresa so much :(

      Seriously though I am very sorry that I was in error about Morrisons 'church'. If he becomes our next dear leader - which is thankfully not likely they say - then I will be happy to do more detailed research and find out if we can tell when he is speaking in tongues.

      When I see him being very angry on the tv, I can see him spitting hell fire and brimstone and hear the wrath of a patriachial ManGod thundering his superiority; but I do have a very active imagination that is difficult to keep under control.

    5. Most economic of them, Miss pp. I guess the take-out then, with no interest in camels, was that the rich men ought give their money to the poor catholic church men needling them for it.

    6. Hello both Anons
      The patent leather shoes stuff is a myth. Funny though. The nuns were the first feminists I ever encountered. Remember they taught Germaine Greer who thought very highly of those women.
      Second Anon, the best people I have ever met have been true Christians. The nuns in particular are at the forefront of helping asylum seekers on bridging visas.
      I wish I was as selfless. Alas I am one of their failures.
      Miss pp

  6. Pond, head's in a whirl!..let me get this straight..The Abbott is being pulled down..but by no-one in particular!..the LNP. is being torn apart..but by nothing in particular....according to the RWNJ's all is many good policies gone who is doing the pulling? ..who is doing the tearing down?...could it really be the MSM.gone crazy, AGAIN , flexing it's imaginary muscle to slash and burn?...oh dear! head's in a whirl..those lovely sea-side gurls!....where will it all end?

  7. Dorothy, a superb piece to-day. You are a diamond in the Australian blogosphere.

  8. Just in case anyone here is incredibly bored and was wondering....yes, NT Parliament is very similar to reality TV, which is why no one here with any intelligence (there are a few, believe it or not) pays any attention to the 'show' or reads the local 'paper'.

    Apparently the C-grade celebrity contestants are upset about something. Like we could give a shit.


  9. Sure it's from Fairfax below, but (imo) this occaisional opinion columnist for the Brisbane Times has pretty much nailed the current state of play yesterday in: It's not the voters' fault, you idiots

    The electorate isn't volatile. Voters aren't unpredictable. The rules have not changed. If you lie to people, if you promise one thing and deliver its opposite, if you treat public office as your due and the ordinary people who put you there with contempt, they will turn on you. And when they come for you, their vengeance will be swift and terrible to behold.

    These are not arcane or complex truths. The modern world has not worked some fundamental transformation on politics. This is not about Twitter. If you lose office it's not because people didn't understand you. It's because they understood you all too well...

    The 'volatility' theory, the idea that no government anywhere is safe these days, ignores the stone cold fact that no government anywhere was ever safe as long as the electoral system was fairly administered.

    You earn power, you don't deserve it by right of birth or incumbancy...."

    A sample of the comments below Buckingham's piece:

    "It is absolutely beyond me how a supposedly intelligent man with an abysmal satisfaction rating of 27%, his party trailing 46:54 or worse and just having been hammered in two state elections, has the gall to insult crucial swinging voters he desperately needs to win back, with something like 'they voted for Labor in a fit of absentmindedness'.

    Good knight, and good luck, Sir.

    CommenterOzzoid LocationPerth Date and timeFebruary 03, 2015, 11:19AM

    "Amen JB.

    After watching Abbott's speech yesterday, it's clear that he and his colleagues don't get it either. It's not about lack of consultation or the bad policies his party have conjured up, it's the fact that they were disingenuous towards Australians before they were elected... in order to get elected.

    I also think it's telling that the only promise we know he'll definitely keep is the one that saves his own job – that is, doing everything in his power to avoid a leadership challenge.

    People are smarter than Abbott, Hockey and Morrison think.

    CommenterJimmy Location Date and timeFebruary 03, 2015, 2:33PM

    Hit [Ctrl+F] "Thatcher", for more like this one:

    "Possibly what needs to happen is to bring the elephant in the room out into the open so people can see, discus and make informed decisions. The elephant is economic theory - Neo-liberal Thatcherism vs Keynsian.

    Let the electorate know, honestly, the impacts of each and let potential Treasurers argue their cases.

    After 3 years of Neo- liberal Thatcherism, Qlders have said no more. The economy is depressed and unemployment low.

    But under Swan's Keynsian management, Australia sailed through the GFC retaining its AAA credit rating and minimal debt.

    CommenterTired of Spin Location Date and timeFebruary 03, 2015, 5:50PM

    Buckingham consistently reads the tea leaves correctly, per:

    "JB nailed it in this article and he nailed in June 2012:

    Campbell's crash and slash won't work
    "I’m going to go early and make the call now. This guy has no idea what he’s doing. He’ll bring the crash-through or crash style he employed at the much smaller and simpler city council level to the much vaster and more complicated realm of state governance, and he’ll come a cropper because of it."

    CommenterJB nailed it LocationBrisbane Date and timeFebruary 03, 2015, 5:03PM

  10. "The Devine lays into architect Frank Gehry .."
    Does anyone remember 'Devine Homes' architecture .. what a goose she is.


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