Wednesday, February 18, 2015

In which can be found "those who look always “for disciplinarian solutions…long for an exaggerated doctrinal ‘security,’ those who stubbornly try to recover a past that no longer exists' have 'a static and inward-directed view of things,' and have turned faith into ideology".

(Above; a certain thematic consistency emerges this day between David Pope and David Rowe, the pond's favourite cartoonists, with a shared taste for the blood sport of politics and baiting).

Now the pond has nothing to add to the fuss surrounding the Four Corners show on the greyhound business, even while admitting it watched the show with mounting disbelief ...

If by chance, the dogs, the trots and the horses were all swept away tomorrow, the pond wouldn't mind at all. It's not just the live baiting, it's the treatment of failed dogs and failed horses that every so often surfaces, and then is swept aside, and though it's presented in the guise of entertainment, it's really all about gambling and greed ...

After years of being made to watch the trots at the Tamworth show, the pond revolted, and has never watched a single horse or dog race in the flesh ever since, despite some relatives going to the dogs and the trots.

Which is why the pond endorses the call by David Pope and David Rowe to return to the fun of the blood sport of politics, and the baiting of the commentariat.

Naturally the pond turns first to the angry old white males who always set the pace at the lizard Oz;

Yes, the hounds are off and running and the howling for the next generation is wondrous to behold, though the howling never seems to mention being in sent into debt for decades to gain the benefits of a higher education. And yes, the campaign for a GST "tweak" is underway, because a harmless "tweak" will produce a bonanza and no one will feel a thing.

But to be fair, today is also Dame Slap day, and the Dame has an important message.

It's all your fault.

Yes you, and even the dumb fuckers who voted for Tony Abbott, who are now making things impossible for poor, hapless, well meaning Tony Abbott:

You can surely see why the pond is regularly entranced.

Dame Slap is the literal embodiment of that biblical injunction:

When I was a child, I wrote as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, and when I became a woman, I kept on with childish things. For now I see things in a mirror dimly, and never face to face, and I know in part, knowing that I will never know fully. But now rage, moping, and abuse of others abide in me, but the greatest of these is abuse of others ...

Hey nonny no, on we go because this one is worth studying at length.

First let's admire the inclusive way that Dame Slap has embraced "we, the people", who are the source of all the problems. Let's not have any more talk of Team Australia, or for that matter, inept politicians. "We" are all in this together, and if you feel uncomfortable sharing a bed with the krazed kommentariat, you just have to lump it, or leave it.

We the people - are you feeling more Dame Slappish by the minute? - are in for a right royal Sir Duke bollocking, so let's get on with it:

Yes, it's you, you there in the corner. Get your hands out of your pockets and stand up straight. You're ruining everything with your indolent attitude and your rebellious ways. You fickle, spendthrift perverts. Look at the lack of interest at the interest. What's the bet you even use a bank credit card?

So what to do about it?

Yes, you, you bludgers. Never mind that the allegedly modest Medicare co-payment was a half-arsed policy wheeled in out of the blue. Never mind slugging the young for a higher education, while the university sector trawls shamelessly after foreign students, and never mind the bloody pensioners, because they're living high on the hog, almost as high as those unemployed bludgers who wonder why they have to survive for six months before being given a meal.

What's happening as a result of all this indolence?

Why it's the poorest that are suffering, and Dame Slap really cares for the poor. You know, the poor uber-rich being shamelessly slugged by the Twitterati and left leaners.

Oh you cads, to cheer on the populist parrot pointing out the bleeding obvious about superannuation.

Sheesh, everyone knows that politicians dump their money into generous super schemes, and you bloody bludgers just want to give them a hard time.

Haven't the rich suffered enough already? Why are you so unkind? Easy to be unkind ...

All they want to do is give their money to the poorest in the land.

Ah, now you can see why the pond always recommends a shot of super strength, reptile-approved kool aid as the best way to start the day.

You see, next up is the obligatory chest-beating, wailing, gnashing of teeth, sackcloth and ashes. An imitation of Chicken Little, followed by Dame Slap doing an impersonation of "we'll all be rooned said Hanrahan and Janet":

Oh well, you complacent cads, you'll learn. You're doomed, doomed, the pond and Dame Slap tells ya.

Though there's always the chance of removing the super rort and ending negative gearing.

Damn you, where did that come from, you reprehensible layabout.

You see, we have such a mamby pamby bunch of tossers in the political game that they  get scared by a little negative polling. And look, there, over the horizon.

Is it Frankenstein's monster? Or Bill Shorten? Whatever, be afraid, be very afraid ...

Yes, there you go, that should keep you going for the rest of the week. You've had the very best of a highly paid abuse session.

It turns out that you, you wretched mob, are made up of clueless dimwits, Neanderthals, obstructionists, one trick ponies, attention seekers and drop kick losers.

What a motley crew, and how lucky you are to have Dame Slap offer you up her incisive wisdom, along with her sneering condescension. Why you'd think nothing of dropping a few shekels into the lizard Oz 'save the reptiles' fund for that kind of quality abuse ...

Luckily, we are happy for our children to foot the bill for our selfishness. Let's start with a $100,000 university degree, with a generous lump of interest, that should see them paying it off for decades. That should show them how we care ...

So that's where the commentariat has ended up. Paranoid, hysterical and abusive. How to win friends and readers ...

Surrounded on all sides by selfish baying bogans and clueless dimwit ockers, while heroic jolly Joe and Captain Tony try to go about their business ...

Waiter, another swig of the kool aid, and make it a double ...

There was another comedy item on the front page of the lizard Oz this day:

Yes, the Sir Duke brigade are on the move. It's very exciting news and the bouffant one has had EXCLUSIVE access to the ACM's submission, which is very important in these Sir Duke days, with the monarchy on everyone's lips or perhaps lapels.

Strangely the bouffant one doesn't seem to understand that Australia is a crowned republic, but never mind, let's cut to the chase:

There you go, a triumph of mealy mouthed quisling words. He's not changing the Constitution, though he's proposing to change the Constitution's wording, he's just completing it, even though the original writers of the Constitution would wonder what he's on about.

But that's the trouble with originalists when they're forced to confront changing realities.

It reminded the pond of some of the words of Pope Francis - now there's an irony, the pond quoting the pope - which could be found in the latest New York Review of Books here, currently outside the paywall:

In a series of interviews and speeches, Francis has deplored clergy who “play Tarzan”—church leaders too confident of their own importance, moral strength, or superior insight. The best religious leaders in his view are those who leave “room for doubt.” The bad leader is “excessively normative because of his self-assurance.” The priest who “nullifies the decision-making” of his people is not a good priest, “he is a good dictator.” Bergoglio has even said that the very fact that someone thinks he has all the answers “is proof that God is not with him.” Those who look always “for disciplinarian solutions,…long for an exaggerated doctrinal ‘security,’ those who stubbornly try to recover a past that no longer exists” have “a static and inward-directed view of things,” and have turned faith into ideology. And so the experience of failure, of reaching one’s own limits, is the truest and best school of leadership. He has declared himself drawn to “the theology of failure” and a style of authority that has learned through failure to consult others, and to “travel in patience.”

Dear sweet absent lord, it's as if he's channelled Tony Abbott's career, of which the monarchy and the church are but two indicators of a stubborn clinging to the past, and the turning of faith into ideology. Ah, but now he's reached the politics of failure ...

But does the Pope have anything else to offer Sir Duke?

The exalted doctrine of priesthood that has been in favor during the last two pontificates undoubtedly contributed to a resurgent clericalism (and interest in ecclesiastical millinery) among many of those trained for the priesthood since the late 1970s. It has been notably absent from Francis’s utterances: he has abolished honorific titles and dress for the younger clergy working in the Curia, since for him priesthood is essentially about service to the poor and vulnerable, rather than a symbolic status or the exercise of sacramental power.

What?  No dress ups? Where's the fun in that?

Oops, the pond seems to have forgotten all about those other lovers of dress ups and Sir Duke style gongs. What's the final word, bouffant one?

May 27, 2017?

Well that's pretty handy. The latest date for the next House of Representatives' election is 14th January 2017 (or so it says here).

Tthe pond is ever so grateful and humble that Sir Duke and the Prof are almost on the same page and that in the meantime we can go on celebrating the Sir Duke awards ...


  1. Had to laugh at Barnaby Joyce's way with words today with Fran Kelly.
    His solution to the hepatitis seasoned raspberries from China?
    Buy Australian. That will cost a bit more but you will avoid fecal contamination. In other words, he laboured on, 'poo'.

    Miss pp

  2. A sustainable higher education system? Ms Albrechtsen must have missed this story:

  3. Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot Men (who actually _weren't_ identical)? Whatever is the Dame on about - or on? Has she been smoking the Little Weed........

  4. I started reading Janet's jottings but I gave up.

    More of the same.

    What Janet refuses to accept is that the co-payment at the doc's and the uni de-reg is all about dismantling Fair Go Oz. Both are ideological. People are not stupid and understand all about the thin-edge-of-the-wedge.

    They understand too Janet that something as basic as food security no longer exists. Instead what we buy from the supermarket is likely to come from places where you need an inoculation before you can visit. And we do very little checking to make sure that it is not contaminated with hepatitis A for example because that is the Red Tape Abbott is always clicking his tongue about. Red tape. Cut it. Oz is 'Open for Business'.

    Open your eyes Janet and start thinking.

    Miss pp

    1. Come on Miss pp, the pond is for hard folk doing the hard yards, the ones who can take the heat in the kitchen, and read blather like it's water off a duck's feathers. Never give up, never surrender. What if you didn't reach the end and see her admonishing Australian voters for getting the government we deserve? As if anyone deserved Tony Abbott, unless you happen to be Dame Slap in bizarro mode ...

    2. Took your advice Dot and read to the end.
      I have taken particular umbrage of a particular foot-stamping, corset-snapping nature.
      NO Janet, I did not get the government I deserved. YOU did.
      And where were the hectoring columns you wrote during the Howard/Costello reign when the pork barrel was rolled across the continent and the proceeds of the never-to-come-again boom was pressed into eager palms? All gone on chocolate biscuits. Nothing of substance anywhere.
      Oh no all we heard then was how wonderful Howard and Costello were at managing the economy.
      Even I, a poor fool who has to use all her fingers to count, had learnt the lesson of the foolish grasshopper.
      Miss pp (annoyed)

    3. Bravely done, give yourself a matehood.

  5. The contribution from REG at the end of today's thoughts is an absolute cracker. Where does he/she hail from? I'd like more please (happy to pay extra as a poor person who has been leaning on the economy too long).

    Perhaps Dame Slap should turn to cartooning? Maximum outcome, minimum verbage - she's achieving nothing with her recycled nonsense at present.

  6. Jenna Price in the Canberra Times:

    “Now, I rang Wilson on Sunday because I wanted to ask exactly what involvement he had in The Forgotten Children report. I rang him because I thought he helped write it. In the report, it says: "The Inquiry was led by Professor Gillian Triggs, president of the Commission, with assistance from Megan Mitchell, the National Children's Commissioner and Tim Wilson, the Human Rights Commissioner."

    To be honest, I thought that "assistance" must have meant he wrote parts of it – but no, in my brief conversation with him, he said he hadn't written any of it. All he had done was run some of the consultations.
    He was quick to distance himself from authorship but when I asked him what he thought about the attacks on his boss, he said he would make no comment either on the record or off the record.”

    It seems Tim Wilson, Australia’s Human Rights Commissioner, clocks on at 9am and clocks off at 9.01am. The workload must be exhausting.

    1. :) All this free speech is so vexatious. Better not to exercise it ...

    2. However, he does have an opinion, but will get into politics of it all. Except that the present government are wonderful by stopping the boats .. therefore less children in detention, right?
      When asked if he supported Gillian Tricks? .. err .. I don't want to get into a political debate, but the Abbott government is good etc. He is your above average wanker, and always drunk on koolaid, or else he's been hypnotised by the lizards

  7. I imagine that Freedom Boy would work harder if someone could stump up a pay-rise. Is it $300k p.a. at present? I have forgotten for some reason.

    Been working slogans out that could help:

    Good government now.
    Good government possible.
    Good government fan.
    I good government
    Good government mate.

    I'll keep working on it.

  8. Oh,

    Good government (wink)
    Good government (leer)

  9. Tim Wilson ‏@timwilsoncomau
    At 12.30 today I give my first @PressClubAust address. It can be viewed on @SkyNewsAust & @ABCNews24. Tune in people!

    3:17 PM - 17 Feb 2015
    Jacinta Arnold ‏@JacintaArnold1 4h4 hours ago
    @timwilsoncomau @PressClubAust @SkyNewsAust @ABCNews24 I wish Sarah Ferguson could ask you a few questions #auspol

    Deborah ‏@Prufrockery 4h4 hours ago
    @timwilsoncomau @anusha_srini @PressClubAust @SkyNewsAust @ABCNews24 Sowe can watch you avoid supporting @LiberalAus &not supporting Triggs

    A tragedy, I missed Wilson’s first PressClubAust. Such a momentous moment. Can’t live with myself now.

  10. SMH today:

    “Shadow treasurer Chris Bowen is insisting he knew the tax-free threshold rate but chose not to give the answer during an embarrassing live TV interview because he says the answer was irrelevant……..
    Mr Bowen called a media conference in Sydney on Wednesday morning to address the gaffe.
    "I chose not to answer the question," Mr Bowen insisted.
    "I should have answered the question. In hindsight it was a mistake not to answer the question.”

    No problem, Chris, I sympathise with you. A few decades ago when I attended uni I knew all the answers in my exams but occasionally I chose, like you, not to answer a question or two thinking it was irrelevant and in hindsight realised it was a mistake.

    Life sucks sometimes.

  11. I am afraid Janet has joined the chorus of brown-shirts all singing "Tomorrow Belongs to Me", whilst simultaneously pancaking her face to appear as the "outraged suburban mum" to her entourage of "Murdoch wives". She is truly irrelevant.

  12. Government. Good. Tony.

    Is good government?

    Watch good government.

    Good government now!

    Government? Good people.


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