Please excuse the pond. We're temporarily off in the land of the barking mad, a lunatic asylum in which Christopher Pyne has taken on the role of the director.
That's his latest tweet on the ABC above. The tweet itself provoked at wittering frenzy. A sample:
Indeed. Let's overlook the personal abuse.
That last tweet contains some sensible advice. But what would James Spigelman - should he heed the poodle's demand - be able to say to the petition-signing Amanda?
Perhaps: Well yes, Amanda, what you say is true ... or at least here's hoping ... your friend in your hour of need, Jim ...
And what could Jimbo say to the hundreds of others, nay thousands? The pond has never, ever - yes we read YouTube comments - seen such an avalanche of nattering negativity, downright hostility and outraged fury. Except for Christopher himself of course:
But the rest were singularly abusive, with an actual reason that suited the poodle extremely hard to find.
Some signatories seemed to misconstrue the entire point of the petition:
And how would Jimbo handle the reasons currently offered as the best on offer at the petition?
And so on and on and on and on and on ...
Neither Pyne nor any of his staff actually pay attention to or read any of the respondents to the twitter account.
Neither Pyne nor any of his staff have actually paid attention to or read any of the respondents to the petition.
Neither Pyne nor any of his staff have the first clue.
Or alternatively it really is the greatest hoax and fraud the internet has seen, beyond Hitler's diaries even ...
There are some other theories doing the rounds.
Pyne's account has been hijacked by 4Chan.
Pyne has been taken over by Thetans.
Pyne has disappeared up his fundament so far no light is now visible.
But hey, the pond hasn't had this much fun in yonks.
And so to the letters to Mark Scott - let's not forget the sponsor's message, the petitioner's pleas:
You see, Pyne clearly doesn't have the first clue about what the ABC actually does in Adelaide.
The poodle doesn't seem to understand that in his first letter he references a subsidy - the sort of money you need to offset regional production where advantages of scale, facilities and services aren't to hand.
And he seems perplexed as to why Mark Scott hasn't responded, and why no one else at the ABC - or at least James Spigelman - has bothered to respond the petitioners.
It's simple really. Will someone tell him? Must it always be left to the pond?
It's because they're laughing their heads off. They've gone off like screamers. They can't be stopped, thighs are being slapped, tears are streaming from eyes, and who knows, soon enough convulsions might set in ...
In future days, internet archaeologists will discover this treasure trove, and in it they will decipher the reasons for the decline and fall of Australia. Yep, sad to say, after the Abbott government, visitors who arrive to take a look around at what once was, will realise that, thanks to the poodle and his chums, there's nothing to see but bush ... kms and kms of truly thick bush ....