How weird are things getting at the Currish Snail?
Not just the presumption that the rag speaks for "the people of Australia" - you expect this sort of dim-witted hubris from Murdochian tabloids - but also the quaint notion that saying "sorry" will satisfy everyone, and is the one word "the people of Australia" want to hear ...
Life is some sort of Erich Segal novel? Or even worse an Arthur Hiller film?
How fuck-witted is that? The pond wouldn't mind quite a few things from Vlad the Impaler, like good behaviour in Ukraine and assistance in resolving what actually happened to MH17, and a determination to discover and punish those responsible. Saying Sorry is about the least useful thing imaginable.
In the meantime, the pond is deeply sorry that assorted twits seem to be in charge of the currish snail ...
Meanwhile, the reptiles have been busy today.
After Abbott and his government ran around yesterday looking and sounding like headless chooks, caught on the hop and without a clue (and Malcolm Turnbull, pompous eastern suburbs prat that he is, showed he didn't have a sense of humour), it was time for the lizards to do what they could to help.
Abbott in particular sounded pathetic as he attempted to talk his way out of his self-supplied box, blathering on about how he was taking direct action now, and don't you worry about talking about the future. Never mind that Abbott himself had recently been blathering about the future
"Coal is essential for the prosperity of the world."
"Energy is what sustains our prosperity, and coal is the world's principal energy source and it will be for many decades to come." (here, forced video at end of link)
Many decades to come! Put it another way:
So it fell again to the reptiles - it's their pathetic lot, but someone's got to do it - to transcribe Abbott's words, polish them up, and cast nasturtiums on the naysayers:
It was a particularly stupid and pathetic response, and well played Sid, for faithfully transcribing it:
Yep, it's decades and decades for coal, but who knows what might happen in 16 years' time.
And there, thanks be unto Sid, is the portrait of a man who doesn't get it, doesn't want to know about it, and thinks somehow that issues in relation to climate science can be fixed right here, right now, in half a mo, rather than via long-term planning ...
And of course being the reptiles, they'd never settle for one folly, not when they can deliver a double bunger of denialism, doubt-mongering and chaos. Yes, it's that old favourite:
Which is immensely stupid, because China can't offer business as usual and knows it, especially as the newly affluent middle class travel and discover what air quality is like in other parts of the world. Forget climate change, just being able to breathe will do ...
Never mind, what's the Lomborgian take home message?
Yes, even before anyone's reached Paris, Lomborg is calling it Copenhagen all over again, because that's what denialists dressed in rational economic sheep's clothing do ...
But since we're talking about the present, right now Abbott - who didn't want climate change mentioned in Brisbane - is busy wiping scrambled egg from his face ... having already created a perfect storm with Putin, and sent the Currish Snail into the valley of the barking mad ...
Even a few of the reptiles - they must have had a smaller than usual shot of the kool aid - seemed to have noticed the bleeding obvious:
As usual, David Rowe (and more Rowe here) put it succinctly, and threw in a couple of bonus buffoons:
So what's the world's greatest climate scientist got to say about all the fuss? Oh why did you ask?
You see, the Bolter is a parrot, and all he knows is to parrot and to link:
So that's what a climate scientist does? Reprint the thoughts of others in between devoting most research time to abusing Islamics and blacks and the ABC and leftists ... who'd have thought climate science was so easy?
Meanwhile, the pond has been catching up on some interesting statistics. First came this bunch in The Graudian:
You can read the accompanying story at the Graudian, SMH maintains top spot ahead of news.com.au, but what's interesting is News brands are struggling in the new digital days:
The Rupert Murdoch-owned national title the Australian, which is behind a paywall, is in 14th spot with a unique audience of 1.229m, just behind the Huffington Post, which has yet to launch a dedicated Australian site.
The Daily Telegraph and Courier Mail news sites, which sit behind metered paywalls, are outside the top 10, in 11th and 12th spot respectively.
Oh sheesh, not the Huff ...
But those figures reminded the pond of a story earlier in the week in the reptiles' media section - yes, they're still papering airports with the pathetic intent of keeping up their tree killer editions, and the pond kept the a copy of the rag on the kitchen snake, like a black snake that at some point would have to be ushered outside.
Oh sure, the pond could be featuring Sharri Markson sobbing into a beer with Ray Hadley, in Hadley on his temper and his temptress (no link, it only leads to harassing letters of demand, but you know how to google), but it was this half-baked set of figures and gobbledegook that caught the eye.
Yes, it was an epic effort by one Lara Sinclair, "Online Media Editor, Sydney" under the header Readers desert Fairfax papers, go digital as News Corp has gains.
By not worrying about sordid actual circulation figures, or the nasty business of papering the house, but instead assembling readers into "Newspapers total audience", the reptiles managed to conclude that Fairfax was in terminal decline, but by contrast the Murdochians were bright as buttons, as pert and as growing as daisies in the field ...
Yes, all was well in tree killer land:
Digital readership of newspaper content continues to rise, up 17 per cent over the year, but there is no corresponding swing away from print, according to industry body the Newspaper Works, which said more than half the audience for newspaper publishers (53 per cent) now read their content online. “The digital trend is not new and becoming more pronounced,” chief executive Mark Hollands said. “What we are not seeing, however, is a swing in the other direction against print readership.”
Uh huh, but what's that disturbing -3.5% against the reptiles?
Readership of The Australian was up 0.8 per cent on weekdays, although weekend readership was down 7.3 per cent to 677,000.
“We are very pleased The Australian’s weekday readership grew again,” chief executive Nicholas Gray said. “We have never had more people paying for The Australian across print and digital and we expect, following the launch of The Australian Business Review, that trend to continue.”
It is of course meaningless gibberish, with numbers flung together to dress up and parade an audience in the squillions, and aggregated over a month. Like this, for Fairfax:
Total newspaper audience, including print, online and mobile readership, grew for most major metropolitan mastheads, led by Fairfax Media’s The Sydney Morning Herald, whose cross-platform readership was up 13.7 per cent to 5.47 million.
Yes, but how's the circulation of the tree killers going?
Well that's the whole point of the new EMMA system of reporting. It's not to reveal, but to conceal and to obfuscate, and to distort, and to pretend that reality is what you make of it - a bit like Tony Abbott on climate science if you like ...
You see, now the rags can blather about total audiences, and forget about what's happening to the tree killer editions:
Both Fairfax and News Corp were reluctant to comment on the falls with both publishers instead wishing to promote Monday’s launch of the new readership metric emma.
In a statement, a News Corp spokesman said: “We are looking forward to Monday’s launch of new readership measurement emma. It will deliver a much more accurate measurement of what Australians are actually consuming across all platforms. emma provides the accuracy and detail that advertisers want, and that will help ensure their campaigns are effective.”(mUmBRELLA back in 2013 in Newspapers continue print decline).
But okay, if we're going to throw in online data, the reptiles at the Oz can't even out-huff and puff the Huff, which hasn't even bothered with a down under edition....
When will the reptiles stop worrying about charting the decline and fall of Fairfax, and begin to worry about their own fate?
Yep, you've guessed it, no point in looking at what might happen in sixteen years time, and bugger all point in looking at what's happening now when the figures are as confused and conflated as a scientist on a grant intent on world government...
Just time for an old Pope, and new Pope here: