Thursday, July 12, 2012

When the pond finally gets to the point, it's to celebrate The Australian's elevation into the kingdom of the wankers ...

(Above: Blogotariat, shameless site of stealing. As the pirates say, no mirrors please).

So the robot at Blogotariat keeps on shamelessly uploading files, with not a hint of Asimov remorse, in the above example not once, but twice, with the FBI warning splashed as the cherry on the cream on the cake.

LOL, which is to say lots of love, as a PM might message a powerful newspaper editor.

You can see where this begging, borrowing and stealing will take us - to a meta-uber level of referentialism, where we'll be reprinting the rip-off of the rip-off of the rip-off. It'll be like the Orson Welles' shoot out in the Magic Mirror Maze hall of mirrors, in The Lady from Shanghai.

Oh yes, yes, speak to Blogotariat in your rich resonant voice Orson. Tell them about the touch of evil ...

Okay, enough of the funny business. The pond did want to lead off with First Dog's splendid cartoon, "All media outlets are now under severe pressure", which starts off "At 12:08A.M on July 11 2012 Andrew Bolt shut down comments on his blog. At that very moment Freedom died."

But a click will get you there if you missed it, and you can see some of the quality "angry time" the Dog has designed for Bolt lovers raging against the dying of the light. And as of this morning, the "no comments" policy continues on, so that henceforth the Bolter can be known as Andrew "No free speech here, I'm in an industrial dispute like some raving ratbag socialist unionist" Bolt.

Never mind, it's Friday and the pond is feeling frivolous and silly. A kindly soul sent us the pdf of the bhpbilliton office guidelines that have been put up at the AFR, as the giant goes about the business of resourcing the future (you can find it here).

Dear sweet absent lord, the anal retentives have taken over the asylum (click to enlarge):
Clean desk policy?

Is this where we'll all end up once the right-wing commentariat take hold of all the desks in the world? Clutter free sheeple not even allowed a sip of soma?

Yes, there's all the previously aired jokes about where to chow down on soup in the office, along with advice on chewing gum, and sensitivity to noise and aromas while munching. Even a Singaporean would find it madness beyond madness. If you want to find out how lucky you are, read the document, and you'll get a sudden surge of adrenalin and joy when you realise you're not under the heel of the thought and joy police at bhpbilliton.

Anarchy, mess and clutter forever! Onward comrades, and join the pond in a noisy bout of chocolate munching! Make an aromatic stand. If resourcing the future goes the bhpbilliton way, can we find a way to go back with Doc Brown, or head off into an alternative universe?

Meanwhile, Malcolm Farr - the pond has taken an immense liking to the lad ever since he called Gerard Henderson a fuckwit - is punching on at The Punch, and provocatively suggests in This carbon pricing thing is just not cricket that the carbon tax might well be responsible for the poor form of the Australian cricket team.

The pond had already predicted it would ruin Cadel Evans' chances at the Tour de France, so welcome on board Big Mal.

But who's ultimately to blame? Well it was remiss of the pond not to take note, but glancing over an old City Hub in search of Nick Possum's thoughts, the pond was reminded of the city demonstration on July 1st attended by phone by good old conspiracy theorist Barnaby Joyce.

Good old Barners, a one-time Tamworth lad, was joined by the likes of Malcolm Roberts in speechifying:

Malcolm Roberts denied the science of climate change. “Humans do not control the carbon dioxide level,” Mr Roberts said. “Nature does it entirely on her own. Carbon dioxide is not a pollutant.”
Mr Roberts alleged that global warming was a hoax invented by the United Nations in conjunction with the Rockefeller and Rothschild families, as well as unspecified ‘multi-national corporations’. Another
speaker, David Archibald, said that global warming was a lie perpetrated by socialists. (Cries of conspiracy fuel vitriol at carbon tax rally).

There you go big Mal, it's a cabal of the UN, the Rockefeller and Rothschild families, multi-national corporations and damned perverted socialists that are responsible for the poor form of the Australian cricket team (and if you like you can throw in Jewish bankers, Hollywood movies and the house of Windsor, with Prince Philip up to his neck in conspiracies).

But let's really give credit where credit is due. The bizarre coverage of climate science by News Ltd, in particular the Daily Terror and The UnAustralian, and in particular by their ratbag bloggers, like the Bolter and Tim Blair, should stand up and take due credit, along with fellow travellers like Barners.

The Australian's war on climate science, along with its war on a national broadband scheme, will stand forever as a disgrace, and the anonymous editorialist sets the tone yet again in Gaia ousts God in the latte hubs.

There's nothing like conflating religion, science, cultural and ethnic stereotypes, and the anonymous editorialist produces a fervent mash-up of cliches based on an half-arsed superficial analysis of a few census figures:

As national income is sacrificed on solar panels and wind turbines, urban elites enthralled with the prophecies of Bob Brown, Tim Flannery and others demand ever-sterner penances to atone for the sins of coal barons, industrialisation and economic growth.

With a fervour that would make St John Vianney and Billy Graham seem lukewarm, the green army preaches in the public square and in cyberspace, on the national broadcaster and in school science classes.

This in a rag that promotes itself to the elites, and advises them to Think. Again, and offers Phillip Adams as a posturing, posing, endlessly talking over, and interrupting his guests, ponce, and a token to alternative, visionary Think. Again thinking!

Out of all proportion to climate science and akin to plagues of biblical proportions, Doomsday scenarios pepper the liturgical rhetoric of the new religion as its apostles warn of impending famines, sea levels soaring 80m and capital cities running out of water, if they are not annihilated first by hurricanes.

What a pathetic, abject wanker (not that there's anything wrong with physical wanking, it's the intellectual wanking that makes you grow hairs on your palms and go blind).

Go endure a heat wave and the assorted extreme weather events in the United States this summer, then talk blithely about it all.

And, contrary to the moral code of the old religions that called on the rich to help the poor, Gaia's will is being done on Earth as those struggling to afford their daily bread and power bills subsidise richer people who can afford solar panels to take advantage of generous government subsidies. It's a cosy doctrine for some.

Yep, religion is science, and science religion, and scientists conflated with Billy Graham and St. John Vianney, and all sorts of abuse heaped on inner urban elites by a rag emanating from an inner urban office, full of well paid wankers. It's a cosy doctrine for some, but the next thing you know, there's Barners haring off with conspiracy theorists, egged on by The Australian's piƱata assault on inner city elites.

In the old days, it would have been an assault on witches, homosexuals, and people different from the mob. These days it's an assault on feminists, gays, greenies and inner city elites. What's that you say? Things should have changed after the Renaissance? Not when you have the demonic demonising thinking of the medievalist anonymous editor at The Australian ...

The question is, does this kind of mind boggling rhetoric - put outside the paywall for the world to see - really reflect the thinking of editor in chief Chris Mitchell?

Come on big Mal, Gerard Henderson's not the only fuckwit doing the rounds ...

Freedom of the press? Does that mean the freedom of the press to be fuckwitted?

(Below: oh we said we wouldn't run it, but we do love it so, and we've paid for a subscription to Crikey, and at least we can use the rip-off to propose that you subscribe, if only to keep First Dog in paid employment. Click to enlarge, or click to see the original here).


  1. Working for IBM in the 80s, I was allowed to smoke at my desk but not to leave any paper on it overnight.

  2. That'd be right Herbert. Cluttered messy paperwork is a killer, but smoking just helps you keep your weight under control. It's about time for the pond's patented line of asbestos paper-weights.

  3. The Australian's attitude on climatology reminds me of "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?":
    "You take the trouble to construct a civilization, to build a society based on the principles of... of principle. You make government and art and realize that they are, must be, both the same. You bring things to the saddest of all points, to the point where there is something to lose. Then, all at once, through all the music, through all the sensible sounds of men building, attempting, comes the Dies Irae. And what is it? What does the trumpet sound? Up yours. "

  4. Fear not, DP, I always go directly to the Pond, do not pass Blogotariat, no one collects a cracker.

  5. Thanks angrydad, and a message to Chris aka Slim.

    Yes, I do want Loon Pond removed from the Blogotariat feed, and the relevant post has now been removed. Please likewise remove all of the pond's posts from your site.

    Please note also that your personal details are freely available on the web. That's where they were found. The pond's post will continue to lurk on Google cache but that's your tough luck for allowing your robot to do all the work.

    This is an advertising free site. I'm not interested in you plastering all the pond's posts at the top of your site, and I don't care about the traffic. The content is not for you to scrape, purloin and re-publish. Breaching intellectual property rights might be your hobby and the advertising might not pay much, and some might see it as a kind of flattery, but really that's not the point.

    The day you associated Loon Pond with advertising for The Australian, you broke a sacred vow ...

  6. I am aware of my details on the web. I suspect that's what happens when you own a registered domain name and there is not much to be done about it.


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