Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Benny Hinn, Suzanne Hinn, and the out clause that might come into play in the rough ...

(Above: the house of Hinn, as featured in Why Benny Hinn Became Our Wacky Neighbour on a site which seems a little slow at updating).

You know whenever Christ drops in - he does occasionally and we rap about the weather and the hopeless public transport in Sydney, which he agrees is the centre of the unknown universe, and we talk about how Paul Keating is a bloody huge visionary for plonking a giant hotel, Dubai style right there in the harbour, jutting out like a great big phallic symbol - I sometimes give him a gentle ribbing, and ask him what it was with the sandals and the donkey and the palm leaves and all that window dressing.

With a shy smile, he'll admit it was showbiz. He needed an angle, and the down at heel 'little tramp' routine was his long before Charlie Chaplin got in on the act. And it'll be a relief to Republicans to know he never had a thing for socialism or young women.

What's that you say? Talking to Christ means I'm as mad as a meat axe? You mean you pray to your lord and he doesn't respond to you? Sheesh, as the immortal Frank Zappa once sang, call any vegetable and the chances are good it'll respond to you.

But I was reminded of these conversations while reading about Benny Hinn, and the current troubling turmoil involving his divorce proceedings.

According to the Gospel Herald, a global Chinese Christian news service, Benny wasn't troubled by his lifestyle:

He (Hinn)... told ABC he has no misgivings about the comfortable lifestyle – a private jet, fancy hotel stays, and a multimillion-dollar home – he leads.

"Look, you know there's this idea supposedly that we preachers are supposed to walk about with sandals and ride bicycles. That's nonsense," he said. (here).

That's why I teased Christ. Sheesh, he couldn't even manage a bicycle, just a bloody donkey.

As for the miracles, he was a bit apologetic. I mean, doing the bread into flesh and the water into blood at each Catholic service around the globe is wearing him down, and he really envies the way Benny gets away with it:

For years, Hinn has been a subject of scrutiny by the media and recently the government for the miraculous healings he claims to perform and the lavish lifestyle he leads. He travels to cities across the globe conducting "miracle crusades" and services. Reports from each event indicate that dozens are miraculously healed from a physical ailment, though Hinn admitted to ABC News recently that he doesn't have medical verification of the healings.

Ah shucks, I just got carried away quoting the Chinese Christians paying such attention to Pastor Benny in his plight. Who cares about medical verification? Just show Benny the money.

Heck, why not just head off to ABC news direct, for Benny Hinn: 'I Would Not Do This for Money'. Then you can get the full story:

Jesus Christ may have lived in poverty, but Benny Hinn makes no apologies for living large.

"I mean look, every man of God that I know today has a nice house," Hinn said. "And they drive cars, and they have BlackBerrys or iPhones or whatever. It's what we need today to simply exist. ... Absolutely I need a private plane. For the ministry it's a necessity, not a luxury. ... It's a necessity for me to have my own private plane to fly so I can go and do what God called me to do around the world. If I should fly commercial I would wear out. With my schedule? It would be madness."

Sheesh, that's what I say to Christ all the time. Being all knowing and immortal and able to see the future, why didn't he bring in a few BlackBerrys or iPhones or even a handsome iPad (naturally he's on the side of Steve Jobs), and get his message out via Face Book and Twitter. It would have saved so much time. And trade that bloody donkey in for a Lear jet. How silly to think it might be in the words, as opposed to the time wasting and the dangers of flying commercial. And the humble carpenter routine? Forget it.

Christ did mutter something about Bill Gates trying to corral intellectual property rights in the old days, but he knew that excuse just wouldn't wash.

Truth to tell, it's easy to rib Christ. Just ask him what Matthew meant by:

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

Naturally he explained it meant that camels can go through the eye of a needle right quick and smooth if you dab 'em with a bit of KY jelly, and that when he was preaching he never settled for less than half a mill a year. Like Benny. Not that Christ would be too specific. Even now if the IRS caught up with him from ancient times, what with the interest and all, he could be owing half a trillion or so. Those money lenders in the temple have a long memory, and that's why Benny's take is so modest, but also why he also can't actually be too precise:

"I'm not gonna give you the exact amount, but it's, uh, over a half-million."

Hinn said he'd like to cut his salary to zero.

Zero? Lordy, as if performing miracles ain't enough, people want them done for free, even though it seems that some of Benny's miracles don't cut the mustard, or at least help the blind to see.

"Let me just tell you this, my aim in life is to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ, that's all I care about," said Hinn. "And if somebody comes along, or if there's a way where I can be completely taken care of financially, I won't let the ministry pay me a cent. I'll make you a deal. Right here on camera. Let 'em all see me do this with you. If somebody comes along and says, 'OK Benny Hinn, I'm gonna help you financially so you can pay your own bills,' or if I can do it on my own and get a job and do something on the side like I'm doing now, it would be a pleasure."

Oh golly, does that include the tab on the Lear jet? Even Christ took a minute to wonder whether he could afford that amount of upkeep.

"Nightline" asked Hinn whether he ever had moments, when people are writing out checks to him or filling out cards with their credit card information, that he thinks the people can't afford it, they're doing it because they're desperate and that he shouldn't take this money.

"If I was fake I would absolutely give them back their money," said Hinn, "but I believe that God called me to preach the gospel which is very important."

Yep, it's so bloody important, even the eye of a needle can pass through a camel before Benny gives up on the cash.

But the news of the divorce proceedings is a crushing blow to some of the faithful. You can read all about it, here at the CNM News Network, where the word is that Suzanne Hinn is possibly the problem:

The couple has been married since 1979, meaning that they have been together for some 30 years. Benny Hinn and his wife have 4 children together, and, according to reports, the divorce proceedings took the faith healer by surprise.

The reason for the divorce is irreconcilable differences, although Benny Hinn ministries claims that the televangelist tried to smooth out their marriage before letting it crumble.

Which does raise a question of logic, which is to say if it took him by surprise, why did he try to smooth out the marriage before letting it crumble?

Never mind, let's not judge, lest we be judged:

Some of Benny Hinn’s followers believe that the “devil made her do it” in order to try to separate his church. Others believe that Benny masqueraded some of his tumultuous private life, and that the “truth” would have to come out sooner or later.

Before we begin to judge Suzanne Hinn, Benny’s wife, it’s important to note that we likely don’t know the whole story.

But, but, but, the wife is always in the wrong. Surely St Paul established that! Not to worry, you can get all the CNM reader goss and reactions here, before we return to a message from CNM, with Linda Evans filing her story under Entertainment:

That’s not to say that Suzanne is right or wrong in her decision. We are wrong in our assumptions – either one way or another – about her decision to split.

Still yet, a divorce after 30 years of marriage is a big deal. Hopefully, the ordeal will go alright and will not affect Benny Hinn’s work.

Indeed. Many unverifiable miracles need to be performed, and much cash needs to be garnered, and a filthy rich lifestyle has to be lived, and iPhones need to be deployed. The work must go on, no matter how troubling and vexatious the woman in a man's life might become.

Meanwhile, it seems Christ is entirely sympathetic, and understanding, and perhaps a little envious, since he never really liked wearing sandals, and didn't even get a bicycle for Xmas. And he's never been able to live down the business with Mary Magdalene, and the rumours that he got hitched to her. That bloody Da Vinci code, he moans, as he contemplates all the nonsense you can read in the wiki here.

Truth to tell, he liked to hang out with the guys, sink a little fermented barley, play a little football - sorry guys, soccer's the game they play in heaven - while he left all the touchie feelie stuff to his vegetarian brother James (James the Just).

All the same, Christ was sanguine about the outcome of proceedings, and reminded me of what he'd once said to Matthew:

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery...

... The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

That always seemed to me to give an unfair edge to eunuchs and virgin types, but Christ remains optimistic that there's enough marital unfaithfulness going around to make divorce a reasonable, biblically certified solution. He always left an 'out clause' here and there, and this one is a zinger ...

Here's hoping it's not just Tiger Woods who can make use of the 'out' clause ...

(Below: a handy service from Pastor Benny. Loon pond offers no guarantees or warranties as to the usefulness of the stickers, except as illustration for a story on how there's a sucker born every minute).


  1. I think the ultimate question is not how bad is he, how many people has he damaged, how legitimate is his lifestyle and the unanswered question does his entire entourage stay together in these outrageously expensive tax "minimising" suites to actually reduce overall accommodation expenses rather than the money be to give benefit to the actual poor but will he look into himself after others have mirrored what they see and re-examine himself in the light of the answer of "Jesus" the sage to the rich young man.

    Will he confess his hypocrisy if he sees it there and his fraud if he sees it there or will it be glossed over and excused the instant it is found, if found. Will he use his discovery of himself as penance or as another lever to open an emotional response so as to shovel into people's money? It's easy to pick holes in people but what do you then substitute for the beliefs they have assimilated from the Mr Hinns of our TV ministries"...would you for examples suggest they follow the blatantly evil US Presidencies and their alien masters? What comes next if the ministers are all exposed?

    I think a very reasonable question is why are their affairs kept so secret...the charitable status is a very convenient ploy, the Australian and now US franchies of the "cd store with a twist" the Australian "Hillsong Church" for want of a better name,and the unaccountable "Clean up Australia" are good examples of "how much money is flooding in, form where and where's the money all going".

    I recall my investigations on the latter years ago finding that accounts were taking years to turn out enough information to even get the one "Branch" of several deemed "charitable", the others were at that time refused and one wonders the circumstances of the one which was allowed.

    Obviously if all was accordigng to Hoyle there's have been a clear cut situation ..well there was I guess "no you are not a charitable institution". For me both these organisations are public deceivers but only two of the most successful and in part because ignorent politicians support and posture for them..

    It's fine to have videos reflecting the dying whilst non Hinn ministries are serving mealie but then we hear "sure you are giving money for food but it can't all get to people because of unreliable or inadequate transport" Ok, how about ex government 6 wheelers? bought for a song...why did the calls for money to feed these tragic situations not say at the outset "your food may not get you mind if we use 30% of it to buy transporters and maintain them.

    Is telling the truth so very hard for a man of "Jesus". Personally I tell the truth to outsiders, the truth I find difficult to tell is the truth about myself, to myself.

    The minister's lies ensclave vulnerable and reality seeking people yet who's salvation my come from Jesus' pity on them the second type of lie ensclaves ones'self. One, I, should not try to avoid telling one's, my self the truth about one's , my by telling outsiders the generalised truth about a situation between them and their selves or even the specific truth between one's , my self and them.(end part 1 of 2)

  2. (part 2 of 2)
    I think Mr Hinn is living the lifestyle he wanted by calling on "Jesus'" name and perhaps it's rationalised in his head to that. To enable "Jesus" to keep up the money supply he needs his uniform and his entourage and his face seeking cameras prying into other people's personal reactions to his exhortations and his mesmerising personal “on camera conversations” with "Jesus" as he directs behind his back the orchestra's mood music with his hands whilst people are bowed. For me that's one of the signs he's a complete defrauder, knowingly extracting, by ploys, emotions to which money is attached .

    If Mr Hinn didn't make money in Djakarta, if it wasn't just a tax avoiding trip then it's time he took stock of the way he spends money. He then turns the responsibility onto others, needing the money so his ministry of "Jesus" will not be stopped because they fail to give enough and I quote him "$ 2million is nothing" ...well I could actually live well enough and all my life an a half of that.

    The absurdity of it all is people respecting and excusing any rich and powerful for flying in like saudi princes to visit people who can't afford to even buy a bread roll.That is a sickness of humanity which is utterly incongruous with reality, yet perhaps some are still saved, some still live who would have died.

    It seems to me almost encumbent on Suzanne his wife to expose their rorting or high living but I may be wrong. Perhaps all this has to be a pressure on Mr. Hinn to take the opportunity he has to offer himself for all the cleansing of filth he speaks of in general terms. To the best of my knowledge Jesus didn't franchise his views on truth in living, whence he came to dissipate the power of the Vipers and Hypocrites of the Jewish Sanhedrin which filtered into the followers as he raised in the “good Samaritan” and in the “Samarian woman”. Instead the Paulian credo defeated its objectors and the Church became a franchise seller of power and wealth. It entered into politics and into the decision on life and death where Jesus instead said “let him without sin cast the first stone,and he wrote in the earth and one by one they turned and walked away. He then said to Mary of Magdela, “they no longer condemn you, and I do not condemn you....go, and sin no more....”The thing no one has picked up in my experience from this is that in the report, if not in the fact, he has recognised, in the final and overlooked words, a sin but not condemned her. He has not said she didn't “do it” but that adultery (being the subject) is forgivable.

    I hope this is the point of self searching and personal redemption for Mr Hinn and those who conspired, if that's a fair term, with him. Voila


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