Thursday, February 04, 2010

Barnaby Joyce redux and a pox on carping socialist anarchists who don't understand the importance of selfishness and cockie subsidies ...

Poor old Barnaby.

Already the knives are out, and it could be a long year.

But what's he done, apart from being educated in Tamworth?

Sure he's suggested that we cut foreign aid, and keep the money at home. But that's just being sensitive about local needs, and shows a profound understanding of the uselessness of bleeding hearts rabbiting on about Haiti, and such like. Hey, they chose to live there, suck it up.

And what reward does he get? Barnaby's on his own with comments on foreign aid, by the wretched Andrew Hewett - he of Oxfam - and he would say that wouldn't he.

How's this for a below the belt opening par?

For a politician who prides himself on his relationship with Australian voters, Barnaby Joyce’s comments this week on foreign aid are, frankly, un-Australian.

Un bloody Australian? But Barnaby's a Tamworth, or at least a north western boy. Or a Queenslander. Well they're sort of part of Australia, in the way we now know and love cane toads.

What's that you say? Even Julie Bishop's called for the bowl of water, and washed her hands Pontius Pilate style?

Deputy opposition leader and foreign affairs spokeswoman Julie Bishop said last night: ''There has been no change in Coalition foreign aid policy. It is vital that Australia's aid budget is sustainable and properly targeted to ensure maximum effectiveness.'' (Joyce questions foreign aid cost in time of debt).

And then Tony Abbott felt the need to hose old Barners down? Abbott overrules Joyce on budget cuts:

Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has hosed down comments from his finance spokesman Barnaby Joyce that the Coalition may cut public service jobs and the foreign aid program.

"I want to be absolutely clear about this, the Coalition supports existing plans for spending on foreign aid. The Coalition supports the public service," he said.

"I do just make this point though - the Rudd Government are masters of waste."

Of course they are. No way are they canny with words like Barners, the master of waste, except when verbal diarrhoea strikes.

What we need is the calm guiding hand of Barners, so that aid to farmers can be distributed to cockies in a placid, even handed way.

Typically the ABC took a snide, cheap, outrageous shot, as Abbott and Hockey did a tour of Ainslie, a suburb in Canberra where only the brave venture (at least in Manuka you can find a decent classical music store, eh Mr Keating):

While touring a supermarket in the Canberra suburb of Ainslie, Mr Hockey was confronted by a woman angry about Senator Joyce's National Press Club appearance.

The woman complained that Senator Joyce was "frivolous and rather dismissive" of various government policies.

"I am the mother of a public servant. I was enraged by his flippancy. That man is a menace," she said.

As she stormed off Mr Hockey said, "OK, here we go".

Well what would she know? Most likely the public servant in question wears cardigans with elbow patches!

And what's Joe's cryptic comment 'here we go' imply? Is there some hint that Barners might well be the Joh Bjelke-Petersen of federal politics? Say it ain't so Joe!

Even The Australian felt the need to chip in with Queensland senator Barnaby Joyce is treading in Joh's foot slips, though you had to look hard for the piece, in the process giving the time of day to a Lindsay Tanner witticism:

... he twice seemed to have his millions and trillions confused as he tried to explain how he would be able to find savings to fund Tony Abbott's climate change policy. "We have MYEFO statements, if I'm correct - at about $1.4 billion, that we're going to spend. The Labor Party has just spent $1400 million. So I think I can find $3.2 (billion) from $1400 (million) I really do."

The slip prompted Finance Minister Lindsay Tanner to thunder: "If Senator Joyce wants to be the commonwealth's chief accountant he needs to learn his billions from his millions."

After all, and I'm not being selfish here, just bloody Australian, why would you want to send money overseas at a time when Australia's in an incredible state of debt? We're borrowing money hand over fist, and as any cockie knows, the only decent way to get cash in paw is to hit up the government for some kind of relief scheme. If they've sent it overseas, where's the good in that? Haven't any of these wretches read Ayn Rand?

And isn't it grand to now that the opposition already has a list, and they know how to cut waste, and make sure there's plenty of wheat to feed the farmers, who will save Australia, and the world, from global warming by burying the carbon in the soil in a way which is beyond the valley of the environment. (Abbott has PS razor list: Joyce).

Naturally the socialist anarchists over at Crikey decided they'd give Barnaby a hard time, as if herding the chooks isn't enough to keep Barners fully occupied.

There's Bernard Keane rabbiting on about Barnaby in How many jobs will Barnaby cost Australia?

“Looks like Barnaby got away with it,” Nick Minchin said to colleagues last night, referring to the shadow Finance Minister’s extraordinary effort at the National Press Club yesterday at lunchtime.

Minchin’s right. Judging by the press this morning, with only a couple of exceptions, he got off lightly.

What's this Keane chappie's problem? The fella seems overly keen to do old Barners down:

... rather than give Finance to a figure of credibility, or use it to blood a quality younger performer in the big league, Abbott gave it to the single least economically credible figure in federal politics.

Oh steady on, that's patently untrue. He could have given the gig to Bronwyn Bishop! Or perhaps Julie Bishop! And they've got reliable clerical names!

And there was Keane getting worried about Chinese investors not wanting to invest in Australia. As if we want Chairman Mao's communist children investing in this country.

Did it stop with Keane? No way, there's that Pure Poison mob, running a YouTube clip, showing that wretched ex-Adelaide boy Dennis Atkins trying to find out how Barnaby might fund his climate change policy without costing the Australian taxpayer a cent (you can see the video here). Well we all know Atkins used to go to sleep when sitting in the cinema watching dreadful films, before writing meaningless reviews for the Sunday Mail, so what the heck would he know about Barnaby's fiendish cleverness?

Oh yes, I can see it all now. It's going to be pick on Barners week, just like it used to be "pecking the weakest chook" in Tamworth once upon a fowl yard, and it's just not fair.

What's worse the insolent leftist louts at Pure Poison started to quote Jabberwocky at Barners in the comments section:

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

Watch out lads, stout hearted Barnaby has the medicine to deal with you:

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

Let's face it. This is the kind of nonsense up with which I will not put. And nor will Barners. And if you too will not up with this put, perhaps you need to read this about Churchill on Prepositions.

You see, we country folk have ways of dealing with you city slickers, up whom we will not put. Or maybe we will.

Up up and away. Take it away Barners, and do what you like with them ...

Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon
Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon
We could float among the stars together, you and I
For we can fly we can fly
Up, up and away

What's that? Balloons tend to deflate, and the landing can be rough? Nonsense.

(Below: Barners tackling the elbow patch public servant foreign aid climate change supporting radical socialist anarchist leftist hippie hegemonic swine standing between farmers and a bucket of climate change cash. Go Barners, but beware the frumious leftist bandersnatch).

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