How dismal an experience it is to contemplate the reptile commentary section on an average Tuesday …
Dame Groan blathering away, the original Adam berating people who work from home and purporting to care about the poor while no doubt filing his copy from home, the Salt peppering his splash with saline clichés about green shoots, the lizard Oz editorialist demanding fresh ideas in a paper than ran out of ideas decades ago …
Is it any wonder the pond looked further down the page, only to be struck by another triptych of terror ...
Well yes, Joel is as good a reason as any not to vote for the Labor party - how the reptiles love him and his love of coal - and the Corona deniers are always good for loon comedy, though once upon a time the reptiles would have been most upset at flinging around the term 'denialist', but apparently that only applies to climate science ...
In the end, the pond had to go with the bromancer, because the pond understands that the male mind and the Donald always wants to get a grip ...
Say what? What blogs? Oh the pond is mortified, the bromancer is probably referring to the scurrilous content that has regularly turned up on the pond … you know …
Yes the virus wouldn't have the first clue as to what to make of that pathetic stock illustration or the words by Killer Creighton that followed ...
Oops, there the pond goes again, featuring Killer Creighton when it should have been focussed on the bromancer ...
Of late the reptiles have taken to putting in a lot of videos - useless in a screen cap - and lots of links, no doubt to crank up their numbers, but again useless in a screen cap and so deleted by the pond …
And besides, the pond can go back just a little bit in time thanks to its own time machine, back to the very days that the bromancer deplored, when Killer Creighton stalked the lizard Oz, and so the pond…
The pond promises to stop quoting our original Adam, Killer Creighton as he's fondly known - there's so much more and so little time - and instead turn back to the bromancer ...
The reptiles were kind enough to source a graph, which no doubt the bromancer has shared with Killer Creighton ...
How weird can it get? No, it's not the stark contrast between Killer Creighton and the bromancer, and the bromancer's apparent complete lack of awareness of the work and deeds of News Corp - think the Bolter's contributions to the science, and the Major's advanced degree in epidemiology. Was it only yesterday that the Major opened up with …
No, no, it's none of that.
It's that somehow Barners gets dragged into the bromancer's story, and once the pond sights Barners, it gets lost and confused ...
Part of the madness of this debate?
Is that code for "Killer Creighton is barking mad"? And "the Major's not far behind"? And "if the Bolter is on a planet, it isn't planet earth"?
And so to the other bad smell hanging around in the air, because it seems the reptiles have turned Burke and Hare, and keep wanting to disinter ancient bones ...
What the fuck?
Still with the onion muncher? And as usual the reptiles loaded the piece up with links and videos and even blessed it with an illustration, though not by the cult master ...
Now the pond was already suffering from a surfeit of reptile irony, and being assured it was just a four minute read was no reassurance at all ...
Ah, it's relevance deprivation syndrome. When it comes to China's appalling behaviour, the pond would prefer to watch John Oliver on the appalling treatment of the Uighurs, as noted in the Graudian here …
Of course it suits the onion muncher to ominously talk of war and the 1930s - no doubt he once had his own difficulties with bone spurs - but when these days he gets on a war footing and goes into an aggressive posture, the pond's eyes glaze over from the surfeit of irony and the lavish doses of cynicism …
Even if the link worked in that cap of a story found here - it didn't - the pond was still anxious to use the google machine to find that awesome welcoming speech, and sure enough it could still be found in the parliamentary record here …
Please allow the pond to take a swig or two, even if the pond abandoned the drinking of rich reds and hypocrisy some time ago …
And so on and on and on, and now back in the time machine to the present ...
It was an article of faith? Oh yes … and there's so much more of the rotting carcass of irrelevance at the ABC here...
And so on and on, and much more to be found thanks to the google machine if anyone wanted to waste precious hours, or even nanoseconds … but hey ho, on we go ...
Around this time, the pond tired of the onion muncher movie, and wished it was watching another one.
The infallible Pope had a recommendation that appealed to the pond - always rely on word of mouth rather than advertising or reviewers …
It's a pity that the gallery format sometimes mangles papal pleasures, but the pond should just mention the chance of seeing the Pope at work on a cartoon at YouTube here …
Yes, it's old, but we're in the company of an ancient mariner, brined to the gills with hypocrisy and a fading memory as to what he did when the doing of it had some meaning ...
Donald Trump has a brain? Donald Trump is concerned? Let's see if the pond can get that test right ...
And what do you know, just to end on an up note amongst bromancer despair and onion munching irony, it seems Scottie from marketing can't understand fountain sculptures, at least if the immortal Rowe is any guide, with more Rowe here ...
