In which the hole in the bucket man makes it into a late arvo slot ...

 

 

Dammit, the reptiles were just toying with the pond and leading it down the garden path ...

Of course our Henry came to the party ... just a little too late for the pond's first edition. 

But dammit, the pond always has its late arvo special edition in case of emergencies ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmm, it turns out that the pond didn't miss that much, though the reptiles went all-in, what with click bait videos and such like ... but the pond would have been just as well off with a cartoon or three ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No classical scholarship on view, no references to philosophers, no mention of masters of the von Clausewitz or Sun Tzu kind ... just a dumping on a sociopath, as if that was new or original, and instead many borrowed sources ...

 

 

 

 

Our Henry couldn't even go where Steve Bell went ...

 

 

 

 

And so back to the frankly disappointing hole in the bucket man's outing ... featuring a click bait video the pond was forced to neuter ...

 

 

 

Yes, yes, but the pond is no Grundle, the pond isn't going to mount a defence of Vlad the impaler, the pond isn't even going to comment on the irony of the keen Keane blathering about John Pilger's bizarre world, wherein the Pilgering one blathers about victim Putin ... 

 

 

 

 

....while just next door Crikey has been hosting the Grundling one grundling away, showing how to Pilger ...

 

 

 

 

 

Up against a Grundle in heat, our Henry almost manages to sound sane, which is tremendously disconcerting for the pond ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wolves? And our Henry couldn't even mention Seneca?

 

 

 

 

Oh heck maybe it wasn't Seneca, maybe it was The Hunger Games ...

 

 

 

Whatever, surely our Henry could have come up with a reference, surely there was no need to make the pond head off to Reddit for a quote ...

 

 

 

Oh whatever, time to wrap up with a Rowson, with more Graudian cartoons here, and don't get the pond started on flies or we'll be off with Joe in On Our Selection, (pdf) picking the wings off flies and sociopaths ...

 

 

 

 

A wolf at the door again!

Perhaps a little more grim humour to lighten the day, seen at the end of a terrifying phone call?

 

 

 

Now show us the flies, Mr Rowson, and never mind our rustic ways, we travel with reptiles ...

 

 

 

In which the pond is mortified by its walking on the Wild side, but found no hole in the bucket man to offer as fair compensation, or even a decent porking rort ...

 

 

 

The pond was mortified by its walk on the wild side with the mindlessly moronic petulant Peta, and yet hits and comments were up, suggesting that masochism has its pleasures.

Still, the pond had hoped to make it up to correspondents by delivering the usual soothing blather from the hole in the bucket man, but alas, when the pond went to the reptile cupboard, it was bare ... our Henry was like that man on the stairs ...

Instead this was what was on offer ... a paltry dish to set before anyone, let alone a future talking tampon king ...

 

 

 

 

Yes, there was another chance to walk on the Wild side, but the pond first had to deal with its abiding loyalty to the bromancer ...

 

 

 

 

Oh dear, and it only took a nanosecond's googling to discover the bromancer, with his astonishing insights, scribbling furiously on 11th February 2022 ...

 

 

Was it only back in February that the war on China was all the go and it was Beijing that was the massive disrupter of the liberal rules-based order? And India a key saviour and strong part of the solution, and never mind all that rampant Hindu nationalism ...

Luckily the bromancer still has those patented kid gloves ... 

 

Oh indeedy do, there's so much to be said for the bromancer's astonishing insights, but the pond must immediately turn to the lizard Oz editorialist, with a tremendously inclusive header, but aware that perhaps "world" might not include India ...

 

 

 

Oh dear and yet the lizard Oz editorialist back on 30th January 2022 offered these astonishing insights (along with many others the pond doesn't have time or room for) ...

 

 

 

 Oh yes, tremendous resilience, and a firm stand on Vlad the impaler ...

And so to that walk on the Wild side, which the pond admits is nothing like spending quality time with our hole in the bucket man, and ancient history and ancient philosophers ...

But what's wrong with finding out what Gina's mob thinks? Isn't it better to get the IPA via the lizard Oz than actually visiting the IPA site? Isn't it good to know that when Gina's mob come calling, the lickspittle fellow travelling quisling reptiles will take the knee?

Little paywallers never once gave it away
Everybody had to pay and pay
A hustle here and a hustle there
Surry Hill’ss the place
Where they said, "Hey, babe
Take a walk on the wild side"
I said, "Hey, reptiles
Take a walk on the wild side"

Give Gina's mob a go ... and so they did ... and so perforce did the pond ...

 

 

Could the pond contrast that opening with an infallible Pope?

 

 

Sorry, that talk of billions spent on fossil fuel subsidies is just being mean. And there are some that might quibble about the figure. Why in a pdf here the Australia Institute put the subsidy for fossil fuel industries at $10.3 billion, and dammit, when the pond was in Tamworth in the old days .3 of a billion was nothing to sneeze at ... you could let loose quite a few car parks on a single day with that sort of loose change ...

Now back to that walk on the Wild side ...

 

 

Again the pond apologises ... first petulant Peta, and then a walk on the wild side with an IPA goose ... is there no end to the pond's depravity?

But at least it keeps the pond's mind off sociopaths of the Vlad the impaler kind. So much easier to be fucking the planet in style than the sordid business of blowing the shit out of people just trying to lead their lives. Oh and working out how to apologise for India fellow traveling with a sociopath ...

And so to a final gobbet, which at least is short, but still, in fine IPA style, manages to make the most out of Vlad the Impaler as the new reptile way to undermine climate science ... 

Well as this is a survey of reptile thinking, the pond couldn't leave it there, and turned to the lizard Oz editorialist for a final thought or three ...

 

 

Um, so it's not quarries, and we need big government? Damn, that sort of thinking could lead the pond astray ... but yes, it's way past time to close Lismore down ...

Coming from Tamworth, the pond always had healthy suspicions about that Lismore mob and their fancy airs and ways ... and what with them being flooded, now is as good a time as any to sink in the slipper in fine reptile style ... because empathy is just a word, and don't you go worrying about that when visiting Murdochian la la land ...

 

And there you have it ... Dame Groan, the lizard editorialist, reptiles all, crying out for big government ... "Given the uncertain times and pending election it is unlikely the government will turn immediately to budget repair. But it must spend wisely ..."

Dammit, are the reptiles suggesting that the feds don't know how to spend wisely? 

Of course they spend wisely ... always have done, always will do, and just you wait until we get a little closer to the big day ...

 

 

Oh yes, it's soon going to be cash in the paw time for lucky punters, but the pond must settle for a Rowe in the paw, with more Rowe pawing to be free here ...

 

 

 

 

 

Please forgive the pond if it draws attention to a special delight with any Rowe ... the background action ...

 

 

 

 

Now there's a man always willing to give pork a go ... and not give a pork about it ...

In which the pond looks at the state of the reptiles, and Cucker's wars ...

 

 

 

 

 

Today in the pond's "state of the reptiles" post, the pond is pleased to reassure readers that Clive's cash in the reptile claw is still flowing into the Chairman's coffers ... 

It's reassuring to note that Clive's comedies continue apace, and such is the reptile avarice that they're cheerfully in his camp ...

 

 

 

Ah, the Betoota Advocate ...

And so to the bromancer offering an F- bit of bromancer scribbling ...

 

Indeed, indeed, but what of Cucker Tarlson's war? The fighting there has been grim in the last few days ...

 

More of that and hot links at C and L ... the pond will return to that bitter fight in due course, but for the moment must press on with the bromancer ...

 

Utterly contemptible support for Putin in the past few years in sections of the populist right?

What about the utterly contemptible support in News Corp? 

Can't the bromancer mention all the lickspittle fellow travellers at Faux Noise? Must the mango Mussolini take all the heat, utterly contemptible though he is?

To help the bromancer with a little distraction, the reptiles flung in a click bait video ...

 

 

But really, the pond must insist that the utterly contemptible people are inside the News Corp house ...

 

 

 

 

Hmm, seems like the lying Cucker is attempting a hasty retreat ...  but back to the bromancer ...

 

Hmm, by not mentioning the likes of Cucker Tarlson, the bromancer can only be given an F-, but to jog his memory that the calls have been coming from inside the house ...

 

 

 

The hot links can be found via the C and L link above, and after all that, perhaps a pause to contemplate an immortal Rowe, with more Rowe here ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so to a big change of pace for the pond.

You see, the pond has decided to take its own small step, and lift the sanctions, the embargo, on petulant Peta ...

Why? Well it has to be said that early this day the reptile commentary team was very thin on the ground ...

 

 

 

 

A couple of lizard Oz editorials, an import from The Times and so on?

The pond had the pick of them with the bromancer ... 

Sure it ain't much of a pick, but that's why the pond began to feel a weakening of the spirit when all it ever wants to do is deliver sublime entertainment for readers amused by reptile antics ...

And then look at the treatment of petulant Peta, given a sweet spot right next to a huge reptile coal EXCLUSIVE ...

 

 

Oh yes, it's an ill wind, and all that reptile blowing and it's coal, coal, coal to the world ... and petulant Peta was up for the fight ...

Meanwhile, across the channel, the savvy Savva was lost to the pond and blathering on about the prospect of our local idiocy taking a tumble...

 

Yes, yes, but what about News Corp idiocy? And so it came to pass ...

 

 

 

Speaking of navel-gazing, the pond wasn't expecting petulant Peta to gaze at News Corp's navel, or even Cucker Tarlson's navel ...

 

 

 

 

Ah yes, valiant stuff, but not the sort of stuff that petulant Peta would know anything about ...

 

 

 

Ah, the usual reptile climate science bashing ... 

Really did the pond gain anything by lifting its embargo on petulant Peta, except another gigantic serve of the same old reptile shit?

At this point the reptiles tried to distract the pond with a click bait video ...

 

 

 

But as petulant Peta mentioned climate science, the pond feels at liberty to mention another Cucker Tarlson war ...

This one you can find at WaPo, by Philip Bump under the header Tucker Carlson's very serious complaint about the climate? Dollar stores (paywall affected) ...

Spoiler alert, it's a lengthy piece, and so the pond decided it would just sample the end ...

 

 

 

 

Indeed, indeed, and each day in reptile la la land, the pond comes away less informed about almost everything than when it went in ... especially as it seems cartoonists provide more insight than your average reptile columnist ...

 

 

 

 

Yes, as the pond types this, it's still raining in Sydney ... and so to the final dose of astonishing banality from a woman working for Chairman-controlled media ...

 

 

Hmm, all the pond has done is provide a plug for Sky News after dark, and that's sure to reduce some pond readers to tears...

The pond isn't sure it will repeat the experiment, it'll depend if the reptiles manage to sharpen up their act and provide a broad range of comprehensively loonish reptiles ... but at least it did help the pond broaden the Cucker Tarlson front, with petulant Peta's only apparent usefulness her ability to act as a coat hanger for news of the Cucker wars ...

 

 

 

 

And so on and on, and as Russia fucks Ukraine, and most of the world wishes that Putin would get right royally fucked, so the reptiles keep on with the rhetoric of planet-fucking ...

Time then to end with an infallible Pope showing the best of Dame Groan's big government in action ...

 

 

 

Another late arvo catch up with the reptiles, featuring the lizard Oz editorialist and Killer...

 

 

Sorry, sorry, the pond plumb forgot to note earlier in the day that the reptiles were still taking Clive's cash in their claw ...

 

 

 

 

Yes, it happens most days, but it's worth remembering, because it suggests that the lizard Oz's advertising rate is even cheaper than that of a YouTube commercial ...

But the pond couldn't just begin and end with that Clive one note joke, lamer than Johnny one note. 

How lucky then that the lizard Oz editorialist was on hand, carrying on where Dame Slap and nattering "Ned" had been left by the pond this morning ...

 

 

Yes, as noted this morning, it's not enough to just fuck Ukraine, the reptiles remain exceptionally keen to fuck the planet ...

As the pond has noted many times before, the reptiles are incapable of googling, looking out beyond the paywall, or stopping the fluff-gathering that comes from intense navel gazing ... and yet ...

 

 

 

 

 So many to pick from, but the pond settled for an excerpt from The Conversation ...

 

 

There's plenty more, but the pond must return to the lizard Oz editorialist, cheerfully using the excuse of fucking a country to fuck the planet...

 

 

Ah, the onion muncher ... but the pond has already been there this day , and the day before, and yet, a good thing is worth repeating...

 

 

 

 

How about a complete change of pace, with - gasp - a short quotation from a lengthier cartoon dealing with a game the pond knows little about ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can find the full version at the Graudian here ... suffice to say, the pond did understand the last panel ...

 

 

 

And now as a bonus, a short serve of Killer Creighton, because whenever the Killer scribbles, the pond faithfully records...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not the best Killer outing, but he did play the correct reptile game, demoting climate science, and avoiding any mention of the mango Mussolini, the GOP, Faux Noise, Cucker, MTG or the rest of the white supremacist gang ...

 

And he kept following the reptile rulez in his final gobbet of Killer goodness...

 

 

 

Republicans and Democrats have never been so unified? So that's what the tearing of throats and deguttings and disembowellings sound like?

 

How the pond would love to live on Killer's planet, which is surely further from the earth than even Planet Janet ...

What bliss to be able to live in a complete state of delusion ... but instead the pond must settle for a Wilcox and wrap up proceedings for the day ...