Oh they're cunning the reptiles, they know how the pond responds to the thought of a schoolyard fight, just like in the old days at Tamworth High, the bromancer and Killer Creighton facing off, ready to duke it out, and the howling mob chanting 'fight, fight, fight' and not a teacher in sight …
Well the pond does lead a rich fantasy life - you had to, just to survive the daily drudgery of Tamworth - and it turned out that the mano a mano was a bit of a reptile fizzer, with the bromancer falling into line ...
It seems that at least some of the reptiles had put loonatic libertarian ratbaggery to one side when looking at the situation of Victoria ...
Even worse, some of the reptiles turned to New Zealand, as if the Kiwis had the first clue …
The situation is of course entirely different. New Zealand is an island, with an ability to control its borders, and a willing population with a sense of community.
Poor Australia has no such luck, as any Oz reader will patiently explain to you, and it was left to the readership to remind these wretched reptiles of the triumph of Sweden (apparently the Oz readership doesn't have the first clue what actually happened in Sweden).
It was also left to readers to remind the bromancer that it was perhaps best to emulate Sparta and kill off the old farts by leaving them in the snow to die …
Fancy that, we seem to have trouble accepting death? Why they'll all be dead in five years, so why not kill them off now?
Of course Ian showed the pond the way by fucking off to die a horrible death, and the pond was full of admiration for his heroic example … and if only the pond could have followed, it would have been spared more bromancer, and perhaps been able to cuddle up to its teddy bear before leaving this vale of tears …
Well it was a segue of sorts just to fit in a cartoon, and better than Seth Meyers' thoroughly irritating talking Captain painting, but now back to the bromancer, and at least he starts by mentioning the Donald's great triumph ...
As for wearing a mask, the reptile readership knew the right person to quote. An old pond favourite, a climate denialist too long denied a place in the reptile firmament …
Yes, there's the capacity for shared community activity and respect right there in a loon nutshell … what sayeth the bromancer?
Oh it was a hard sell, and the readership wasn't buying it. Remember Sweden, and as for the Donald talking up a vaccine, what good was that?
And so to Killer Creighton, who tried to a different tack this morning.
Rather than urging the elderly go go off in the snow and die so his precious economy and vulgar vigorous youffs might be saved, he was most concerned by their fears, and he came armed with graphs ...
Speaking personally, the pond actually couldn't give a flying fuck about the size of its purse when it comes to the alternative of death … seeing as how, as an atheist, the pond thinks the result of death is to be in a cold, hard grave for a long, long time (or preferably ashes blowing in the wind, mingling with Caesar) …
But as an aside, has anyone noticed how the reptile illustrations have become increasingly wretched?
That shot of an elderly man next to a tree daubed by a five year old with access to Photoshop? It's beyond the valley of the cornball. Here's a vision of Melbourne worth seeing …
There's more immortal Rowe here, and that tram thingie reminded the pond of a couple of its favourite visions of Melbourne by Albert Tucker in the war years … (pdf here)
Enough distractions. On with Killer Creighton explaining how the elderly prefer to hoard than to give a fig about kicking the plank… and remember there are more charts than even Alan Kohler could handle ...
Yes, we're not worried about dying, everyone over 65 wants to get back to work, in the same way that the infallible Pope thinks that Canberra might set an example …
Oh they try to hide the infallible Pope but he keeps popping up, but back to the pond not giving a fig about dying a painful death ...
Yes, yes, send the over 65s back to work, how they worry so about their wealth, and if the pond might be so bold as to interpret that blather about heterogeneity, and "the importance of age-targeted interventions to reduce exposures", it raises an important Killer Creighton question: whatever happened to the ancient, honourable idea of gulags, wherein the elderly might be herded together for their own good, so that they could be protected?
No, not quite that, how about an aged care home, hasn't that worked wonderfully well …
Segregate the elderly, lock 'em up, and that'll stop them worrying about the economy, while Killer Creighton and his team can get cracking with their charts ...
Frankly the pond had to mark down this effort by the Killer. He really didn't go hard enough at all, and he resorted to charts, and confusing, contradictory messaging, when really what he meant to say could have been summed up in a few lines: we all need to get back to work, and a few might die, but they'll likely be old, and they're only worried about the economy anyway, not about kicking the biscuit tin, so let them die, and let's fix the economy and all will be well …
It left the pond despondent, and without a sufficient reptile-induced anxiety attack for the day, so naturally it turned to the Dibbster, desperately wanting to bung on a do about Taiwan ...
Now the pond has other anxieties, hopes and despairs …
… but getting some action going over Taiwan seemed the next best thing to an asteroid strike … and as the onion muncher was invoked in the very first sentence, naturally the pond had to pay attention ...
Indeed, indeed, and resorting to a serious external crisis would certainly help others who feel a tad under threat …
From the Donald's POV - and lunatic fundamentalists of the Pompeo kind - what better way to stay in the game, and now see how the Dibbster cleverly suggests that either we embrace total war with China over Taiwan, or we're all doomed ...
Of course there might be an alternative, though it's not one that Xi, Putin, or sundry hawks might like to contemplate … but it'll do for the pond …
