In which the pond unwisely decides on a Sunday meditation with the lizard Oz editorialist ...

How the memories linger … how things change in order that that they might stay the same ...

And what better way to track the reptile response to the current crisis than via the lizard editorialist?

Watch and marvel as the reptiles began the season by parroting Crikey's arsehat of the year …

Now the pond has already noted that there's no need for the pond to contemplate the shifty figure-altering, accounting deficient ways of that arsehole of the year, prime Angus beef.

That's already been done by others in Fact checking Angus Taylor: does Australia have a climate change record to be proud of?

There's no need to dally, but in these Adani times, the pond was in particular entranced by this one:

Taylor writes that Australia is “responsible for only 1.3 per cent of global emissions, so we can’t single-handedly have a meaningful impact without the co-operation of the largest emitters such as China and the US.” In the context of global emissions, there is much that Australia can, and does, do that has a meaningful impact. The 1.3% figure does not account for Australia’s contribution to global emissions from the fossil fuels we dig up and export. If this exported coal and gas was accounted for, one analysis suggests Australia would be responsible for almost 5% of the global carbon footprint from fossil fuel burning.

Of course the Labor party suffers from this delusion too - that somehow everything stops at the border -  and of course prime Angus beef joined with the likes of China, the US and India to fuck up the recent climate talks …

But the reptiles' bigger mistake was to think that this was just another chance to carry on the climate science wars …

Uh huh ...

...elsewhere in Taylor’s article, he says Australia’s exporting of LNG is helping countries cut emissions. Jotzo says: “If we are going to talk about impacts on global emissions of Australia’s energy exports, then we need to consider all fuels, including coal. Any exporting of coal will result in higher global emissions because it increases the availability and lowers the price of coal, and encourages the use of coal.” It is not clear that the availability of Australian LNG decreases emissions internationally.
While Taylor admits that LNG processing in Australia has pushed domestic emissions higher, he claims that “our LNG exports are dramatically reducing emissions in customer countries such as Japan, South Korea and China — the equivalent of up to 30 per cent of our emissions each year”. But Jotzo says this claim depends heavily on what the LNG displaces. He says the “lion’s share” of the exports will actually replace gas from other sources, rather than displacing coal generation. There is also a risk, he says, that increasing LNG exports also encourages countries to build more gas infrastructure, making it harder to move away from the fossil fuel. He adds: “It is not clear that the availability of Australian LNG decreases emissions internationally.”

But enough of the climate science wars because suddenly the reptile editorialist discovered that there was an actual bushfire in progress during the actual bushfire season …

Fuck, that's amazing, disarming, dissembling: "There is no one leader who is automatically in charge of co-ordinating resources and rescue efforts."

Might as well go to Hawaii and sip on a cocktail then … unless you want to be a reptile pretending that the wise SloMo has it already sorted ...

Well yes, because such a leader at least wouldn't be SloMo, who clearly didn't have a clue, currently is showing he doesn't have a clue, and shows no clue that he might acquire a clue in the future …

And so to this weekend's lizard Oz editorial, with the editorialist suddenly realising that beds were burning …

Note the discordant logic. Unrealistically ambitious climate change targets suddenly, almost miraculously are transformed into "The Prime Minister acknowledged on Thursday that climate change and the drought had extended Australia's fire season."

Oh so the unicorn of climate change is suddenly real, and it was wrong of the pond to run that piece of graffiti…

Now back to the lizard Oz editorialist doing a little back-burning …

Contemptible? Perhaps not doing a meeting when requested to contemplate future problems is contemptible, perhaps valuing a budget surplus over immediate needs is contemptible, but no amount of of transferring the blame game to others can shift the immediate idiocy on view …

You see, people remember, and the legacy endures …

And this was one of those Katrina moments … and the pond is mortified to admit that this is from another reptile site ...

Dear sweet long absent lord in the grip of unreality syndrome, and yet it went on …

And on and on, and that dreadful Constance fellow was in the mix ...

"I don't take these things personally"?

Well if the pond had forcibly attempted to shake someone's hand, and misattributed the reason, and then discover it was because his bloody house had just burned down, the pond would be mortified, and would take it very personally, and be abject, upset and apologetic, and maybe just every so often, whether in public or private life, these things should be taken personally …

The reptiles love to blather on endlessly about personal responsibility. Is there a better time than this?

But in all the fuss, the pond kinda lost count, and guessed that the lizard Oz editorialist might be feeling lucky, and so turned back to this final lizard Oz editorialist gobbet, which amazingly begins by making no mention of SloMo's real adventure, as recorded above, when out and about…and instead begins by sounding like a federal government press release ….

Who knows what the weekend will bring? Or the next week? Or the next month? Having been up close with bushfires, the pond hopes it goes well.

Here's hoping it doesn't provide more tabloid fodder for the Murdochian reptiles, who have been making out like shameless sensationalist headline bandits …

   

And yet along with the ruined and shattered lives, ruined and shattered towns and environments, lost hopes and dreams, and decimated creatures and landscapes, there will be an enduring question to be asked of the climate science criminals, hopefully some day waiting on their own Nuremberg trial …

And to that there can be only one young earth, creationist, climate science-denying, coal-loving, rapture-awaiting answer …

In which the pond proposes its loon of the year ...

The pond had a lucky run through east Gippsland the day before the apocalypse struck. There was smoke around the likes of Orbost and Cann River, but nothing more than Sydney the previous month, and not a sign of the things to come …

But at least the pond scarpered, and didn't hang around like a bad smell during the emergency, as the reptiles have managed to do for the duration …

Talk about an unnerving capacity to keep head in sand and unerringly strike the wrong note, beginning with our prime Angus beef, who turned up at the top of the page in the early days …

Yes, there he was, tone deaf, and blathering on about how we should be proud of our climate change efforts …

Well the pond doesn't have to waste time on Angus, as others have scribbled Fact checking Angus Taylor: does Australia have a climate change record to be proud of?, evoking just why Crikey named him their 'arsehat of the year' ...

It's been a singularly bad year for this proud arsehole, what with his office having cooked the figures - not just for his analysis of our 'climate share' - but for his assault on Sydney City Council, and thank the long absent lord that affair has been sent to the AFP in Canberra to be decently buried in silence …

But much as the pond admired his achievements, and much as the pond admired his competitors, who did their very best to attract attention to themselves…

 

… the pond feels it must honour an old trouper, too often ignored in his declining years, one who put on a spectacular display, where even young Earth creationists of the SloMo kind didn't dare to go …

Better late than never, and with that spectacular outing, the pond had no choice but to name Barners as its loon of the year …

The pond will never be able to erase from its mind that suggestion of a tactile god at work.

The reptiles weren't far behind as they did their very best to display a lack of empathy, and carry on as if it was climate science denialism business as usual … including, but not limited to …

 

Good old Gra Gra, on hand to remind us that it was the pigs and the farmers who gathered together for that final feast around the table …

The reptiles even reverted to reliable old memes …

And they sometimes turned to the simply bizarre …

Indeed, indeed, there's nothing like a history-making drought to help with that strategy …

Even when they decided to offer suggestions, the lizard Oz editorialist turned up in the company of a useful Vlad the impaler idiot …

Yes, even in the bushfire crisis, the reptiles still found a parrot who had survived the blaze and could recycle his love of Putin …here's hoping that as it heads to the grave, the pond has no need of a sexton.

How silly did the reptiles get? Well in the early stages this set of digital headlines attracted the pond's attention …

There you go, that was in their dissembling and attempts at distractions days, from headlining a booze ban to sticking at the top of the page silly old Moorice getting agitated about Tex Perkins … as if others weren't sharing their thoughts about the absent leader …

But everything was sweet, it was water off a duck's back, and there was even time for the zillionth jab at the ABC …

That talk of bias had the pond rolling jaffas down the aisle, because the reptiles did their very best to downplay the heckling, while here's a story that didn't make it far in the lizard Oz …

That's not how to get ahead in the Liberal party, and win the attention of the lizard Oz … here's how it's done …

Even Jack the Insider, who purports normalcy and sanity, tried to let SloMo off the hook …

The pond has other business - Polonius calls with his siren song - but perhaps a gobbet to go …

Before we start the tedious what-aboutery, there are no parallels with the Prime Minister...?

Sheesh, Jack, it's possible to pat the tummy and chew gum at the same time … if it's fuck Elliott time, then surely it's fuck SloMo time too …

And so to the main feature, and while the pond has been away, our Polonius has stayed determinedly in play, recently with this 'end of year' outing …

It takes a singular skill to display a complete lack of empathy, to sound like a sublimely complacent, unaware, self-satisfied big city 'leet with his head stuck up his bum so far not a hint of light or signs of a bushfire might penetrate, but Polonius managed the task effortlessly…

The pond hardly dares point out that the reptiles themselves took to talking of the gates of hell opening … admittedly a little down the page ...

As it's old, rotten, smelly, mouldy copy recycling Polonial talking points about the year, the pond will just cut to the Polonial closer …

Enough said?

So much for those who have been fucked by the bushfires. There's your inner city 'leet self-satisfied complacency in a nutshell, but of course our man Polonius was just doing his SloMo impersonation, of the kind noted by Lenore Taylor …

With the skill of a man who made a pre-politics career of messaging, Scott Morrison’s narrative is of a disaster in no way different from disasters Australians have faced in the past. A terrible event to be sure, but one from which we will recover with the resilience and “Aussie spirit” we have always shown during our long history of similar crises. (Graudian here)

Hmm, must be time to mention that unlike Taylor, Polonius lives righteously in a one room slum, and even refuses to use a candle, such is his concern for his immaculate energy rating …because when you've got nothing meaningful to say, make sure you throw as much mud as you can, while imagining you can strut around in a white suit knowing there's not a sign of undiluted, pure, essence of shit in your scribbling ...

Alternatively it must have stung a little, and yet the pond must quibble with Taylor too, because SloMo has shown no skills at all when it comes to messaging during the whole catastrophe, as was pointed out by a communications person on, of all places, Sky International, nothing that he turned up like a gawking idiot without anything meaningful to say or to offer, and so had to turn and walk away when offered a few jeers, as he experienced his Katrina moment …

But not our Polonius, because he came back again this weekend, coupled with the reptiles offering yet more advice …

Bushfires aren't the end of the world? 

Try telling that to someone who's just lost their life, or everything they owned, tell that to all the creatures and environments that have just perished …

Talk about a complete lack of empathy, as Polonius doubled down on the 'we've been here before' strategy that seems to be the only shot left in the reptile bunker …

Actually it's the message of climate scientists, but one thing's certain. This is the only time the pond will need to mention science …

How silly does it get? Rather than talk about people who actually had to spend their time recently on a beach, our man Polonius prefers to blather on about On the Beach ...

Actually, is it wrong to note that Polonius has taken us back to where we started, with Crikey's arsehole of the year (oh, let's not pretend we don't know what 'arsehat' means) conspiring with India, the United States and China to stick a spanner in the works of the recent climate talks … and don't get the pond started on our prime Angus beef's accounting tricks, deployed to avoid doing what should be done ...

Yes, it's all for the best in the very best complacent, self-satisfied, smug Polonial world … and no doubt we can just carry on regardless in the New Year …

And so to a final cheerio from our Polonius to those who, unlike the pond, had the misfortune to get caught up in an unprecedented event, which has managed to shatter records everywhere, except in the pages of the lizard Oz …

Could the reptiles top this pictorially?

Well amazingly they could, by running this pitiful cartoon early in the inferno, echoing and, amazingly, amplifying Polonius's complete lack of empathy …

Did someone mention the rabid Murdoch media, ably assisted, facilitated and enabled by a remarkably rabid Polonius, adopting the modes disguise of someone who's seen it all, and then announced to the world that it should move along, and don't you worry at all about all that destruction and despair?

They did, they did, but what to do, what to scribble, when the 'roos hop into view?