In which the bromancer goes gaga over Takaichi and correspondents in the cult can line up for a serve of the Tuesday groaning ...

 

The news that the world continues in dire straits made the pond want to pull up the covers and do an ostrich routine.

The next best thing was to plunge into the hive mind, where the only fear to be found was in the form of the federal Labor government.

Luckily the bromancer was to hand to provide that kind of distraction, coupled with a remarkable infatuation for the Japanese PM:

The header: Japan’s ‘Iron Lady’ shows up our feeble PM; Mark Carney was treated as though he were a world statesman. Yet Japan’s dazzling new PM has been treated in a very low-key manner. Only a nation as dumb as us could fail to fully see her significance.

The caption for a snap ruined by that preening mug standing alongside her: Prime Minister of Japan, Her Excellency Ms Sanae Takaichi, visits the Canberra Nara Peace Park at Lennox Gardens alongside Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman.

Of course the bromancer has been infatuated with Japan before.

Remember this?

Japan building Australian submarines is a match made in heaven

The pond couldn't resist a plunge back into ancient times, and besides inducting the piece into the intermittent archive, decided to offer a teaser trailer reminder of the good old days ...

What glory days there could have been. 

Instead the bromancer cheered on AUKUS, and the nuking of the submarines, a phenomenon never to be seen in the pond's lifetime, and now here we are.

But the bromancer has always been fickle, moody, changeable, and with the memory and consistency of a gnat.

It's way too late to revive any thoughts of what might have been, and instead we have the spectacle of the bromancer dissing the Canadians to creepily crawl up to Takaichi:

If you want to get a glimpse of just how badly Australian intellectual life, and very often the Albanese government, exist in a foreign policy make-believe land, consider this astounding contrast.
Mark Carney, the Canadian Prime Minister, a figure of almost no consequence to Australia at all, and whose international policy proposals are based on bad analysis and would generally be disastrous for Australia, was an honoured guest, as though he were a world statesman, and gave an address to a joint sitting of the Australian parliament in March.
Yet Japan’s dazzling new Prime Minister, Sanae Takaichi, who has recently won a landslide election victory in her nation, was given no such honour in her visit to Australia, and in fact has been treated in a very low-key manner by the Albanese government.
Takaichi recently won a huge super majority in Japan’s parliament. She stands in the tradition of strong Japanese leaders like Yasuhiro Nakasone, Junichiro Koizumi and Shinzo Abe. Only a nation as dumb as us could fail to fully see her significance.
The visit is good and useful. No international visitor today could be more important. But this should be a very big deal in our national life, not a minor bit of routine Canberra falderal.
The visit’s formal agreements – on economic security, critical minerals and defence co-operation – were good, marginal, incremental steps on existing agreements many times announced and rehearsed previously. Agreements with Japan tend to be substantial. Japan is the only one of our many critical minerals partners that really seems to want things to happen in a relevant time frame.

Elbows up Canada, because this is the only flourish you'll get: Canada’s Mark Carney listens to Anthony Albanese speak during a press conference at Parliament House. Picture: David Gray / AFP

The bromancer carried on with his almost uxorious scribbling, and never mind the way that the Japanese currently make a motza out of onselling Australian gas purloined from the rubes down under.

Instead, inevitably, the bromancer reverted to his war with China, possibly in alliance with Japan, and hopefully by Xmas:

For reasons of Japanese politics and protocol, visits by Japan’s PM to Australia are rare. It’s in our interest to make them big. Abe in 2014 was the only Japanese PM ever to address the Australian parliament. I covered that speech and wrote then that it was one of the greatest speeches ever delivered in our parliament.
That happened when Tony Abbott was PM, and was the high point of Australia-Japan relations.
Parliament’s not sitting this week. The government should have recalled it for a day to hear from Japan’s first female leader. Takaichi is the most popular political leader in Asia (except in China). The China dimension probably explains why Albanese took such a lame, low-key approach to what should have been an important national moment.
Japan is the world’s third-largest economy, after the US and China. It’s a member of the G7. It’s America’s most important ally in Asia. US Studies Centre polling two years ago showed 60 per cent of Australians would like a formal defence treaty with Japan. Tokyo is now more forward-leaning on this than Canberra.
Japan’s Sanae Takaichi has won a resounding victory in Sunday’s snap election
Tokyo is doubling and more its defence budget. It remains, with South Korea, one of few US allies that is still a huge manufacturing power. It operates at the highest level of technology. Increasingly it’s investing in defence technology and, in a development of profound historic consequence, becoming a defence exporter.
The Albanese government’s decision to buy Japan’s advanced Mogami general purpose frigate for our navy, and to get the first few built in Japan, may be the single best decision (to be frank, there aren’t many) it’s made in defence.
In the Japanese parliament some months ago, Takaichi was asked if a Chinese military attack on Taiwan would endanger Japan. At its closest point, Taiwan is only 100km from Japanese territory, so the answer is, naturally, yes. Nonetheless, many national leaders would have fudged an answer to such a question. Albanese surely would have done so in similar circumstances. Takaichi answered the obvious truth; yes, it would be a danger to Japan.
This is important because the designation of such danger would trigger the legal justification for Japan to engage in collective defence efforts. As a result, Beijing went bananas in trying to intimidate Japan, and Takaichi specifically. One Chinese diplomat in Japan crudely said Takaichi should have her head cut off. Beijing imposed coercive trade embargoes on Japan.

The reptiles decided it was time for the bromancer's heroine to feature, though sadly with that disgrace by her side: Sanae Takaichi, visits the Canberra Nara Peace Park at Lennox Gardens alongside Anthony Albanese. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman.

The bromancer continued his rant, determined to find a conspiracy of cowardice in the matter of his war with China:

But Takaichi is a tough woman. She didn’t fold. She made some mollifying remarks but neither retracted nor apologised for her answer.
Here’s another curious element to the Albanese government’s management of her visit. The two prime ministers made joint remarks, but there was no joint press conference. The Canberra press gallery was led to believe this was because Canberra didn’t want to answer questions about gas.
But the Albanese government has decided not to impose any new taxes on gas exports. This is in part to avoid sovereign risk and to underline our reliability as a supplier, and because at a time when the world desperately needs more fossil fuels of all kinds, it would be barking mad, an act of grievous national self-harm, to put new disincentives on production. It’s such a ridiculous proposal that naturally the Greens and some crossbenchers are all in favour of it.
But that may not have been the problem with a joint press conference at all. Had the two PMs held a press conference, Albanese would have been asked about Taiwan and Beijing’s crude efforts to bully and coerce Takaichi and Japan. He would have had no alternative but to express solidarity with Japan. But Albanese doesn’t much do that sort of thing. Defence Minister Richard Marles has a mandate to say, two or three times a year, mildly disobliging things about China. The rest of the government has the courage of a sleeping kitten with a bad valium habit. Albanese never says boo to a goose on Beijing’s behaviour.

At this point the reptiles decided to provide yet further visual evidence of the pond's thesis that the reptiles are determined to live in some ancient glorious past, at least until the current mob are swept aside by the reptiles' never-ending jihad. 

How else to explain the return of the onion muncher, from 2014? Tony Abbott and Shinzo Abe shake hands during a trilateral meeting at the G20 Summit on November 16, 2014 in Brisbane, Australia. Picture: Ian Waldie / Getty Images

Why do they do it? Why do they dwell so much in the past?

It turns out it's much like the bromancer's memory of the past:

Takaichi is visiting to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the historic post-war trade treaty the Menzies government signed with Japan. Like most big Australian moves into Asia, this was carried out by a Coalition government with the support of Washington. The Coalition has an infinitely better record than Labor on both the Japan and India relationships, but is strangely incapable of telling this story.
Albanese seems so attached to the narrative that he’s stabilised relations with Beijing that it puts a severe political limit on what he does with Japan, and to some extent India. One tragic lost opportunity was when internal Liberal Party instability prevented Tony Abbott from going ahead with a submarine deal with Japan. We would now probably have the first Japanese sub and it would be world class. This would have solidified a quasi alliance between us, and deepened the strategic intimacy of both nations with Washington.
But as a nation, we seldom miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity, as now.

Say what?

The Coalition has an infinitely better record than Labor on both the Japan and India relationships...

Oh then the first of those Japanese submarines, spawn of the bromancer-Japan alliance, should be arriving in Sydney by Xmas. 

Or is that why the bromancer is strangely incapable of telling this story.

To be fair, that outing has to be worth a couple of Goldings ...

Or perhaps an ancient Wilcox?

And so to other reptile contributors, assigned by the pond to the intermittent archive.

There was John Curtin's shame, at last acknowledging Pauline's problem:

Billionaires or the battlers? Pauline Hanson’s dilemma
One Nation: a populist movement railing against elites, financed by the country’s wealthiest individual
Precisely when One Nation is becoming the vehicle for battlers, it is becoming something else: the beneficiary of a growing network of elite patronage.
By Nick Dyrenfurth
Contributor

That has to be worth at least one Golding ...

And early on the budget was top of the lizard Oz:

The reptiles have a remarkable capacity for showing meaningless graphs, with snaps showing Jimbo looking like a smirking, gibbering idiot, and this was peak reptile graphics department (there was no credit for the image, which perhaps was just as well).

Following on, the remarkably diligent Geoff chambered yet another round ...

COMMENTARY by Geoff Chambers
Labor ignores Reserve Bank warnings to deliver a multi-billion-dollar cash splash
At a time of soaring inflation, higher interest rates and increasing housing market pressures, the lures of populist tax changes and cost-of-living sweeteners appear to have won the day.

The pond consigned him to the archive with a note that it much preferred the earlier original headline, preserved in the archive: 2026 budget: Armed and dangerous: ‘hunting’ squad to fire populist scattergun

Now that's a pack of metaphors, but why this cruel despatch of Geoff?

Regular correspondents know the reason: this is Dame Groan day, and what a groaning and a sighing and a grieving and beating of breasts there was to be seen:

The header: The budget myth Labor is using for its big tax grab; Don’t believe the Treasurer’s untested platitudes when mooted tax changes use disputed claims about intergenerational inequity and ignore overseas failures on similar reforms.

The caption for that pair of misery makers, the ruination of Dame Groan's life: Finance Minister Katy Gallagher and Treasurer Jim Chalmers, ‘who is very good at rattling off unbelievable cliches in the hope they make sense’. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman

Correspondents in the Dame Groan cult - you know who you are - already know the format.

"We'll all be rooned", in a four minute read, with the only interest the way that the attack is launched.

You have to hand it to the Albanese government: ministers don’t bother to let facts get in the way of their arguments. This is particularly the case for Jim Chalmers, who is very good at rattling off unbelievable cliches in the hope they make sense.
We hear a lot about intergenerational inequity as a rationale for policy changes even though all the serious analysis suggests there is no such thing. Older people have always held more wealth than younger folk. It has always been the case, and it will be in the future.
But identity politics is a potent force. Suggest that Baby Boomers had it easy and are now ripping off their children and grandchildren, and an argument is made that the privileges the Baby Boomers have enjoyed over their lives – forget the hard work and sacrifices – need to be pared back.
Wrap the argument in terms of the difficulty of home ownership and Chalmers suddenly becomes confident that the major tax changes to be announced in the budget are saleable. The press gallery will love them.

So far so good, but at this point, the lizard Oz graphics department decided to make it deeply weird:  ‘Older people will rightly feel some of the wealth accumulated from years of hard work and saving will be confiscated, simply to be thrown on to the bonfire of wasteful spending.’

It turns out that this was an image culled from one of those wretched stock footage libraries, though these days it might also be a form of AI slop that litters the full to overflowing interubes and can be found with an image search. (Click on to enlarge, the pond doesn't mean to insult eyeballs).

Why do the reptiles do it?

Because they're cheap as, and they need to shove some form of visual distraction into the groaning as a way of breaking up the indigestible crap.

Why was the pond distracted?

Well it already knows the main message, we'll all be rooned before the year is out ...

It’s worth summarising the analysis undertaken by e61 Institute on the issue of intergenerational inequity. The argument made is that we have “a fiscal system that was designed for a higher productivity growth economy than the one we are in”.
“Seen this way, many of the issues look less like an intergenerational divide and more like two different problems: a system that is front-loading costs on to young people’s lowest-earning years, and a windfall that will largely flow to those who inherit.”
Without productivity growth – something the Boomer generation enjoyed for several decades during their working lives – the economic compact is beginning to disintegrate. Excessive government spending has meant that bracket creep is the only reliable way to increase revenue, leaving aside the lucky break of high commodity prices. The effect has been to increase the proportion of total government revenue derived from income tax. This has a much bigger impact on those who are working rather than the retired.
There is also the issue that an impost of a 12 per cent superannuation contribution charge on younger people is far too high when lifetime earnings and needs are considered. It’s impossible to see a Labor government deciding to reduce this figure for younger folk, even if this makes perfect sense. When you are in your 20s and 30s, buying a home is a much bigger imperative than saving for retirement. Mind you, if the younger generation does have a legitimate beef about anything, it’s the run-up in government debt that they will have to pay off down the track. That’s real intergenerational inequity.

The reptiles decided at this point that they needed a Little Sir Echo, so they sent in Freedumb boy, but all that did was remind the pond that Sky Noise down under still hadn't undergone a rebrand: Shadow Treasurer Tim Wilson claims the Labor government is pouring “debt petrol on the inflation fire”. “They’ve decided to continue pouring debt petrol on the inflation fire,” Mr Wilson told Sky News Australia. “Australians will continue to pay a price for that.”

What an odd way to talk about petrol in these straitened times.

And why was Jimbo featured in the thumb? Sure, he looked suitably sly and sinister, but what have the reptiles got against Freedumb boy?

No matter, back to the 'rooning ... which began to take on the eerily prophetic tone of a shining ...

So, what are the likely contents in the budget that will be justified by intergenerational inequity? One of the most likely candidates for change is capital gains tax. There is leaked chatter about moving back to the indexation method implemented by Paul Keating, which was replaced in 1999 with the far simpler 50 per cent discount rule.
What is not frequently mentioned is the scope to average capital gains over five years under the Keating method, which can significantly reduce the amount of tax payable. This facet of the arrangement is not expected to be part of the new package.
While there is some vague reference to grandfathering the new policy, this is not locked in. There is also talk of partial grandfathering, a concept that defies both logic and practical implementation. For instance, there are currently 2.5 million investment properties. The very idea they would all have to be revalued on a particular date is fanciful.

At this point the reptiles decided to really lower the visual bar: It’s not clear how a minimum rate of tax on trusts would impact on intergenerational inequity because many beneficiaries of trust income are young people.

It's not clear? What's clear is that these days the reptiles have entirely given up on the graphics game and much prefer the sort of slop that can be found all over the place:

Hey, AI, show cash and locks and coins, we need some slop to fill up the hive mind trough.

As for Dame Groan, why was the pond surprised to find she was a lover of trusts? (Truth to tell, the pond wasn't that surprised):

It’s interesting to observe what has happened recently in Canada under the normally canny Prime Minister, Mark Carney. A decision was taken to reduce the capital gains tax discount, and a date was set for the changeover. Bedlam descended because of the sheer impracticality of the proposal and the flood of assets on the market seeking liquidation before the cut-off date. In the end, the Canadian Liberal government – read Labor – was forced to back down and the change has been put on hold.
There is also a great deal of chatter here about imposing a minimum rate of tax on trusts, although there is likely to be an exemption for farmers. It’s not entirely clear how this would impact on intergenerational inequity because many beneficiaries of trust income are young people.
There is also a great deal of misinformation about trusts, with comparisons made with salary income splitting. In most cases, trust income must be distributed annually to the beneficiaries who then pay income tax at their top marginal rates. For the wealthiest, this change will not affect them. And note that trusts are, in part, a device to preserve assets.

At this point, the pond couldn't be bothered pointing out the banality of the farm illustration: Farmers are demanding the nation’s 80,000 family farms be exempt from any capital gains tax changes.

What would the world do without a drone POV?

And that led to the final gobbet of the current 'rooning ...

Having said this, many small businesses are set up as trusts and this change could adversely affect many owners who are struggling to survive in the current environment. Negative gearing has been part of the tax code for over a century. Being able to deduct the cost of investment from tax payable is a completely unexceptional feature of the tax system. It’s also impossible to sustain the argument that negative gearing (and capital gains tax) is to blame for recent high house prices since the former arrangements have not changed.
Again, it’s worth looking at what has been done on this front overseas. Several countries have pared back the generosity of negative gearing – it’s not called that in other countries. Both the UK and New Zealand changed their rules to reduce house prices and to widen the scope for home ownership.
The short- to medium-term impacts were extremely modest, with a multitude of other interventions creating chaotic housing markets – very much like here.
So, my advice as always is to hang on to your hat. Don’t believe the untested platitudes of the Treasurer or have any confidence in the advice being given to him by the commercially naive Treasury officials. Older people will rightly feel that some of the wealth they have accumulated from years of hard work and saving will be confiscated, simply to be thrown on to the bonfire of wasteful spending. But the government is not seeking their approval or their votes.
It’s all about the vibe.

That's the best Dame Groan could do for a closer? A reference to The Castle?

The pond would prefer to drag in a Wilcox ...

As for the rest, the pond will leave that to correspondents embedded in the cult, pausing only to note the singular way that Dame Groan manages to think it's all business as usual, and that a bit of demonising Jimbo and his mob is more than enough.

The world is in dire straits, and it's getting direr by the day, and yet there's no reptile in the lizard Oz willing to tackle the enormity of what mad King Donald and the mad Mullahs are managing to do to the world economy each day.

There was only one decent point to be made in favour of a war - that it might provide some relief for the Iranian people from a cruel regime.

That was never likely, it was more just an excuse dreamt up by the sociopathic Benji to sell King Donald on the war ...

Meanwhile, the sociopathy never seems to end...

Israeli minister served golden death penalty noose birthday cake

It's not just the Iranian regime that specialises in cruelty.

And so to a note from the fringes as the both siderist NY Times decided that Tucker needed help with his platform ...