In which Polonius stays full keyboard warrior, while the dog botherer goes full croweater ...

 

Spurs seem to exist to torture me, wrote the cracking Crace, but that's nothing.

Polonius has existed for decades to torture the pond.

From his early days as a wild-eyed war mongering 'Nam hawk, Polonius has always been keen to send others off to battle, though he does prefer to carry out his own battles with help of pen and keyboard.

So it should be no surprise to find him this weekend reverting to his glory days supporting the Iraq war folly, with an enthusiastic bout of adventurism and a lust to join the excursion.

The header: Australia should do what it can to support the US in its war on Iran; Andrew Hastie is more critical of the Trump administration than Anthony Albanese, a Trotskyist student politician and former critic of Israel.

The caption for the snap of the sort of kit that gets both the bromancer and Polonius moist: The United States and Israel launched a wave of strikes against targets in Iran on February 28, sparking swift retaliation by the Islamic republic. Picture: US Navy

The pond will allow only one guess as to who Polonius chose as his weapon of choice for a pond torturing.

But the pond will give a few clues as to the answer, per The New Republic...

He was at it again last week, as noted in the Graudian,  Democrats outraged as Fetterman votes to advance Markwayne Mullin nomination; Calls for Pennsylvania senator – Trump’s ‘favorite Democrat’ – to resign after casting decisive committee vote

Markwayne is as MMA odd as his double barrelled first name. It's great business for cartoonists ...

...but it's a reminder that Fetterman went kinda funny in the head after his stroke, and has turned into a rabid devotee of Benji and greater Israel and sundry other GOP far right causes.

Naturally all that gets Polonius right on board with King Donald's favourite "Democrat": 

I’m with US Democrat senator John Fetterman and I don’t agree with opposition frontbencher Andrew Hastie. Fetterman supported President Donald J. Trump’s recent post that stated: “Because of the fact that we have had such military success, we no longer ‘need’ or desire the NATO countries’ assistance – WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia or South Korea.”
Trump was responding to the disinclination of NATO countries to support the US military action to clear the Strait of Hormuz, which has been closed by firepower from Iran while allowing limited passage to certain countries. Trump has a valid point. For years most NATO countries have bludged on the US for their security. This is beginning to change because of Trump’s criticism and the evident threat from Vladimir Putin’s Russia.
Certainly, as John Howard commented recently on Sky News’ The Kenny Report, Trump unfairly played down the contribution of Canada to the allied cause in Afghanistan. I, among many others, have rejected Trump’s statements that dismissed the role of British and Australian forces in Afghanistan. All three nations had troops in the frontline.
Trump is a politically skilled, clever but crass street fighter who never graduated with a diploma in courtesy. But he cuts through the diplomatic talk with a message that is essentially correct, and he makes the US’s enemies cautious because of his unpredictability. The US has spent heavily on security, particularly during the Cold War with the Soviet Union. Many European nations had other priorities, including welfare. The US put guns ahead of butter, as the saying goes.

The reptiles decided to go with the pastie Hastie and a reminder of that rat in the ranks... Andrew Hastie. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman; Senator John Fetterman. Picture: AFP

The pond would have much preferred a celebration of the "politically skilled" King Donald's track record ...

Polonius was all in on the mayhem ...

There will be a long-term debate about whether the US and Israel should have bombed Iran on February 28. But they did, decapitating much of Iran’s leadership and obliterating its air defences, air force and navy. Iran is a much diminished entity that has resorted to attacking shipping in the strait and dispatching drones and firing missiles at Muslim Gulf nations. This is having a deleterious impact on those nations and international trade, particularly in oil.
That is where we are at. So, it’s appropriate to ask the question attributed to the Bolshevik Vladimir Lenin. Namely, what is to be done?
Right-wing American critics such as Tucker Carlson maintain that Trump has taken the US into another forever war. This despite the fact such encounters take more than three weeks. So the answer to the Leninist question is: Win the war. This is in the interests of most nations, with the exception of what’s left of the mullahs in Iran as well as Russia and North Korea.
Sure, Trump did not advise US allies and friends of his intentions executed in association with Israel. This is not surprising since such top-secret intelligence could have leaked. In any event, it happened. The task now is to reopen the strait.
The NATO nations could assist despite not being involved in starting hostilities. All will benefit if Iran is prevented from becoming a nuclear power and no longer able to control the local seas with the support of the Houthi rebels in Yemen.

Sure, it's pretty much a comprehensive f*ck-up (*google bot aware), so might as well just enjoy the f*cking and join in wholeheartedly ...

The reptiles flung in another doofus to join the conversation... NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte on Thursday (March 19) backed U.S.–Israeli strikes on Iran and said allies with discussing amongst each other how to handle the closure of the Strait of Hormuz.

Here came a problem for Polonius. He's always rabbiting on about how the ABC never has any conservative voices on it, but when a conservative voice does appear, he's outraged because the conservative voice isn't saying what Polonius would like to be voiced.

In short and in summary, there's no way you cardigan wearers are ever going to win:

Enter Hastie. There’s nothing ABC presenters love more than a political conservative who goes on the taxpayer-funded broadcaster and bags political conservatives.
The member for Canning in Western Australia received a soft interview from Sally Sara on ABC Radio National Breakfast on March 18. Hastie described Trump’s post as “petulant”. He delved into cliche-land by quoting former boxer Mike Tyson as saying “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face”. And added “the enemy always has a vote”, whatever that might mean.
Hastie went on to chastise the elected leader of the US by saying: “You don’t treat allies like that; relationships are longstanding, you should show respect and I don’t think it was a respectful post at all.”
It’s true that Trump does not treat all US allies with respect. But quite a few Western leaders have been less than respectful towards Trump. What’s also true is that Hastie, whose background is in the Australian Defence Force, is more critical of the Trump administration than Anthony Albanese, who was a Trotskyist student politician and is a former critic of Israel.
Malcolm Turnbull also rocked up on RN Breakfast to talk to Sara the same day. He criticised Trump and his handling of the war. Turnbull restated his position about “the importance of Australia being more independent”. This is hardly new. Political commentators such as BA Santamaria and Frank Knopfelmacher, who were supporters of the Australia-US alliance, were stating this before Turnbull was born.

The reptiles flung in a reminder that death and destruction is the way forward ... Israeli security personnel secure an area around a rocket partly buried in a field in the Israeli-annexed Golan Heights bordering Lebanon. Picture: AFP

It was a reminder of King Donald's exceptional political skills ...

Polonius finally wrapped up his war mongering ... and never mind that there's sweet stuff all that Australia's navy could do to help in the matter, especially as King Donald has advertised far and wide that the war's already won and he doesn't need any help ...

The problem is that to be independent will require a significant increase in defence expen­diture. Even if Australia wanted to contribute to the US operation, it is not clear whether a properly equipped naval vessel could be dispatched.
As prime minister, Turnbull dropped Tony Abbott’s plan that Australia should acquire Japanese submarines. Instead Turnbull favoured a conventional version of the French Shortfin Barracuda nuclear submarine. This was scrapped by the Morrison government but not before there was a cost blowout and disagreement about how much of the boat should be constructed in Australia. Turnbull in office did nothing to improve Australia’s independence.
All Australian governments have understood the desirability of our sea and air lanes being protected by an ally – initially Britain, later the US. It makes sense that Australia should do what it can to support the US where possible. That’s why I am on side with Fetterman. I believe Australia should do what it can to support the cause of the US-Israel joint force and that Iran should be diminished as a military force now and into the future.

Ah, how Polonius loves napalming with his keyboard.

And at this point, the pond must apologise.

It would have been good to hare off to do other comedy items, such as Nigel Farage criticised for calling Welsh people 'foreign speakers'. (Come to think of it, Nige probably thinks there are too many Aboriginal people in Australia speaking foreign languages).

Nige's fear and loathing of the Welsh could have naturally progressed to a jolly good Hydeing, The greatest challenge Farage has ever faced - convincing the world he was never besties with Donald Trump:

At last, the culture has thrown up a split more nauseatingly up itself than Gwyneth Paltrow’s from Chris Martin. It is Nigel Farage’s attempt to consciously uncouple from Donald Trump, a man up whose backside he’s spent the past decade most firmly lodged. Nigel’s made such a massive, self-satisfied show of his real estate in the presidential large intestine for 10 years now that I actually don’t think non-surgical extraction is possible at this stage. He doesn’t just get to walk away whistling. The only way out is a full Faragectomy. I’ll give the president a piece of drone fuselage to bite down on.
Anyway: conscious uncoupling. Back in the day, you’ll remember, Gwyneth and the Coldplay singer deployed this particular phrase when announcing their marital split. Did the public love it? They did not. The general vibe – as with so much of Her Vajesty’s output – was that she would do even marriage failure more smugly and unachievably than mere plebs could ever. The pivot from gushing about her perfect marriage to gushing about her perfect divorce felt like mere days.
There’s a lot of this preposterously compressed timeline to Farage’s attempt to distance himself from Trump, as Operation Epic Facepalm rapidly unspools. He’s not alone out there, of course. As discussed here at the time, a whole posse of Britain’s political and pundit class greeted Keir Starmer’s failure to jump two-footed into Israel and the US’s Iran operation as a truly calamitous error. Yet these days, you can’t move for the spectacle of the initial cheerleaders reverse-ferreting. “I don’t like to see our prime minister be berated by foreign leaders,” was Wednesday’s emanation from Reform UK’s Robert Jenrick, who, little more than two weeks ago, absolutely loved to see it. Starmer, Jenrick explained back in the first week of March 2026, was handling the Iran crisis “just about as badly as you could possibly go about it”.

And so on, but the pond has to rate the chances of Polonius doing a conscious uncoupling from King Donald and Fetterman and all that as being between zero and naught.

It would have been good to avoid talk of war for this day's reptile bonus, but yesterday the pond consciously uncoupled from cackling Claire, instead sending her off to the intermittent archive

When identity politics makes violence virtuous: Tame and the denial of October 7
A society that cannot name rape as rape because of the identity of the perpetrators has truly lost its bearings.
By Claire Lehmann
Contributor

Even worse, the reptiles never mentioned an earlier viral hit, After DOGE Deposition Videos Go Viral, Judge Orders Them Taken Down (*archive link)

So this 'toon was left like a shag on the DOGE uncle Leon rock ...

So too was the war on the media:

But there had to be a bonus, and preferably not all about assorted wars, and that's how the pond ended up with the dog botherer ...

The header:  Pauline Hanson hasn’t changed, the times have caught up; Ridiculed for 30 years, her refusal to budge on immigration and energy has made her the ultimate conviction politician.

The addled caption for an addled piece: Love her or hate her, we all know where the One Nation leader stands.

Just what does "love her or hate her" mean? It's not exactly like Robert Mitchum with a tat on one hand reading "hate" and on the fingers saying "love".

Like so much of the dog botherer, it's idle gibberish, and here he indulges in a bigly six minutes of gibberish pumping up the Pauline volume.

You see, the lad is intent on using his native turf to encourage bigotry, racism, hate and fear, homophobia, Islamophobia, furrinerphobia, and all the other phobic vices.

As often happens, the dog botherer got off to an exceptional start ...

Historically, One Nation has been a Queensland political force, but 30 years after Pauline Hanson entered federal parliament her movement is spreading south, invading the southern states like cane toads and fire ants. Essentially an agent of disruption, One Nation is set to up-end right-of-centre politics in Saturday’s South Australian election.
This is a state where all the rain, such as it is, falls in winter, 

Uh huh, hold on a tick ...Flood aftermath exposes holes in South Australia's federal road funding ...

Intense rainfall across parts of South Australia's north in recent weeks caused outback towns and stations to be isolated when floodwater cut off roads.
Now, as flooding recedes, local governments are beginning to calculate the damage and are frustrated it will be up to them to foot the bill.
Flinders Ranges Council chief executive Sean Holden said the cost to fully fix damaged roads could be between $7 and $10 million, which was more than the council's entire yearly spending.
"It was an absolute disaster," Mr Holden said. "Even if we spent all of it, we would only be able to seal 7 kilometres of road and we have 1,293km in total."

Must be an early winter, but do carry on with the Adelaide-centric blather ...

...where mangoes are an exotic fruit, and footballs are kicked and handballed – never thrown. Yet it seems that hundreds of thousands of Croweaters see the Queensland redhead as their champion.
Hanson is being mobbed in the streets. I saw it with my own eyes this week, joining her and One Nation state leader Cory Bernardi for a street walk in Adelaide’s Rundle Mall, a CBD location far removed from One Nation’s heartland. Aside from a group of SA Socialists protesters who materialised at the end and one student egged on by friends to timidly tackle Hanson on immigration issues, every person who approached Hanson was friendly and encouraging.
Many lined up for photographs with Hanson and Bernardi, and many said they had voted for One Nation already (pre-poll booths have been open all week) or were intending to do so on Saturday. People of all ages and ethnic backgrounds characterised Hanson and Bernardi as patriots, fighting for mainstream voters.
Now, I have covered campaigning as a reporter for four decades and have been involved from the inside, state and federal, through the years, and this reaction is out of the ordinary. This is a legitimate political phenomenon – a shift is afoot in our political landscape.

Of course the pond cheated and waited until there was an indication of results in the current SA election, and it seems that the dog botherer's excellent work pandering to Pauline has seen a strong showing for racism, bigotry, homophobia and all the other phobis.

Well played dog botherer, as he went about the business of elevating Pauline and Cory to election legends ... One Nation leader Senator Pauline Hanson and One Nation SA leader Cory Bernardi. Picture: Dean Martin

The way to do this, using basic simpleton reptile methodology, is via carefully selected vox pops...

“You should be the prime minister,” one man said as he rushed to have a photo with Hanson. “It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you,” said another.
Asked why he was voting One Nation, a security guard sporting an Australian flag on his vest said, “How they’re standing up for Australia and Australian values.” He urged Hanson and Bernardi to “keep up the good fight” after noting “all the grief” they copped.
Yes, the criticism of Hanson and her team is sometimes wind beneath their wings.
“I love you,” a young man said.
“I’m so proud of you both,” said a man closer to middle age. “I’ve already voted One Nation because we need our country back.”
Bernardi basks in the same glory. At a suburban shopping centre recently, security objected to the One Nation candidate mingling with shoppers and called the police. Two officers turned up, confirmed Bernardi was quite within his rights, then requested a photo with him.

Why wouldn't he? He's got a lot to be glorious about, Cory Bernardi stands by bestiality claim ahead of SA election ...

One Nation's South Australian lead candidate Cory Bernardi says he "100 per cent" stands by highly-controversial comments he made almost 14 years ago linking gay marriage to the social acceptance of bestiality.

In an interview with ABC Stateline, Mr Bernardi said he also backed One Nation federal leader Pauline Hanson after she recently suggested that there are no "good" Muslims — comments for which she later partially apologised.

Ah yes, the croweaters are just catching up with dog botherer values.

Hang on, hang on, wasn't Cory into a form of advertising for the body beautiful?

Talk about gay ...

... and that business about there being no good Muslims needed a little correcting.

The dog botherer was happy to do it, enthralled by a devotion to the cult...

When a young female beauty consultant raced up to Hanson in Rundle Mall to compliment her appearance and styling, it revealed the star power. The One Nation founder cuts a striking figure with her flame-red hair, smart wardrobe (no burkas lately) and obvious energy, all belying her 71 years. No doubt, the celebrity factor drives attention. People are excited to meet a woman who has been a household name since early 1996 when, as a single mum and a fish and chip shop owner, she was disendorsed by the Liberal Party but elected to Canberra regardless.
Yet the reaction is more substantial than mere fame. Hanson is seen by many as a warrior and people’s advocate – a saviour. The issues favour her. Record immigration has fuelled a housing crisis and cost-of-living pressures have been driven by escalating electricity prices thanks to governments pursuing UN-inspired net-zero goals.

See how the racist bigots are all together ... Sky News host Chris Kenny joined Pauline Hanson and Cory Bernardi on One Nation’s campaign trail in Adelaide. During the outing, Ms Hanson and Mr Bernardi caught up with voters to take photos and discuss the state of South Australia. This comes ahead of South Australia’s state election on Saturday, 21 March.

The pond has no idea why the reptiles, including the dog botherer, should be cheering on Pauline's mob, yet here we are ...

Hanson has been consistent on these issues for three decades, demanding lower and more selective immigration, and shunning net zero in favour of energy affordability. One Nation has not changed; rather, the times have swung in the party’s favour.
Hanson has never faltered. In the face of aggressive protests, virulent criticism and even jail time on electoral fraud charges (eventually overturned), this one-person political juggernaut has powered on.
When I put to Hanson that one of the reasons for her current resurgence is consistency, she did not disagree but added a word she believes is more important. “Trust,” said Hanson, “people trust me because they know I have never lied to them about what I believe, I stick by it.”
It is a powerful point. In the face of changeable major party politics, shaped more by focus groups than firm policy convictions, Hanson stands apart as the ultimate conviction politician. Love or hate her, we all know where she stands. And that she does not back down.
And of course it is the right-of-centre parties that have wobbled wildly in recent decades. On climate and energy, immigration, taxation and small government, they have waxed and waned against One Nation’s simple but steady glow.
In SA the Liberals have long thought they are at their nadir, but they are about to experience it. One Nation is filling the gap vacated by a Liberal branch in turmoil.
According to all the opinion polls, Hanson’s outfit will receive more first preference votes than the Liberal Party. One Nation will usurp the Liberals as the state’s second political force, with Bernardi at the helm, a former Liberal Party state president and senator.

Political and media elites have obsessed with net zero at the expense of small business, industry and working families. And the same virtue-signalling cohort resists tackling immigration for fear of being branded xenophobic or even racist.

In an attempt to air brush the racism and the bigotry, the reptiles obligingly ran snaps showing what a wonderful person she was, making out with what looked like coloured people.

How she just loves coloured folk ... Hanson with locals in Adelaide. Picture: Eleni Tzanos; With locals in Maitland.

See? 

What a way to snatch those ancient memories out of the old noggin and throw them in the dustbin ...

The dog botherer kept cheering on the team  ...

Demography should count against One Nation, whose pitch is often focused on regional gripes. South Australia is highly centralised, with about 75 per cent of the population concentrated in the Greater Adelaide area so that its regions are sparsely populated. The two largest regional centres of Mount Gambier and Whyalla have populations just above 20,000.
Favouring One Nation is that, unlike Queensland, SA has an upper house. Elected on a statewide franchise 11 at a time, members of this Legislative Council need only 8.3 per cent of the vote to win a seat, so on current polling of 22 per cent Bernardi is certain to be elected along with his running mate, Carlos Quaremba, and possibly a third candidate, Rebecca Hewett.
In a Legislative Council of only 22 members, One Nation could be a balance of power force immediately. And the statewide polling numbers suggest it could win lower house seats, too.
One Nation is a chance in places such as Mount Gambier, Hammond in the lower Murray, and Narungga on Yorke Peninsula. While Liberal support has certainly been weakened by the national Coalition identity crisis over energy, climate change and immigration, the SA Liberals have indulged in astonishing self-harm through a series of homegrown scandals.
Their leader, Ashton Hurn, is a first-term MP dropped into the leadership just three months ago when her party’s third leader for the term up and quit. Before that, the leadership of the man who took over from ousted premier Steven Marshall after the 2022 election, David Speirs, imploded spectacularly when video footage emerged of him snorting drugs at home. A sitting opposition leader on video, snorting cocaine.

At this point the reptiles decided to cash in, or at least milk punters ...

PREMIUM
Man given cocaine by David Speirs breaks silence
Become a member to access our premium video content

Say what? Punters had to pay over the odds for access to "Premium" content?

Never give a hive mind sucker an even break, as the dog botherer wrapped up his cheerleader duties ...

He initially claimed the video was fake. Soon enough he was convicted of supplying cocaine and resigned from parliament.
Yet he has not shrunk away. Instead. Speirs inflicts more pain on his old party, seeking to return at this election as an independent.
Liberal election posters should have been fashioned as police line-ups. Three other former Liberals have been in trouble with the law.
Former Liberal member for Mount Gambier, Troy Bell, is in jail on fraud convictions. The former Liberal member for neighbouring MacKillop, Nick McBride, is contesting the election as an independent while wearing a court-imposed ankle bracelet on domestic violence charges. Another former Liberal, Fraser Ellis, is attempting to hold his seat of Narungga as an independent while appealing his conviction on deception charges related to parliamentary entitlements. Even the scriptwriters of House of Cards would baulk at this series of plot twists as too implausible.
Hurn has the challenge of overcoming these distractions and combating a largely competent and popular Labor government while withstanding a vigorous assault from One Nation.
It is a monumental task, and Hurn is presenting a brave and dignified face. Yet she faces the possibility the SA Liberals could go the way of their West Australian counterparts, reduced to just two seats in the lower house five years ago.
Federally, the Coalition has two years to find its line and length against One Nation and rebuild its own standing. Today’s state election has to be the warning that existential threats demand urgent and meaningful responses.

Is it a deep, dire conspiracy to drive the Liberal party to the extreme far right, and only when off with the pixies will they earn a place in the reptile sun?

It wasn't enough federally for the beefy boofhead down Goulburn way to get the nod?

Sad to say, as the pond went to bed, the figures suggested that while there'd been a swing to Pauline in terms of votes, the number of seats in the lower house weren't looking so good.

Never mind, dog botherer, better luck with the upper house, and still plenty of chances to turn the nation on to bigotry, racism, fear and loathing.

But there was a special bonus ... poor Lord Downer, deep in suffering mode ...

Too delicious, the chance to sup on Lord Downer's salty tears.

What a godforsaken hick state it is, with a godforsaken hick town capital. What a joy to have escaped from the clutches of those ancient aunts littering verandahs in orange garb. (They might have been better off in the Hare Krishnas).

And now to end by reverting to King Donald and the war ...what a way to make sure no one's talking about the Trumpstein files or ICE murders ...