In which the pond descends into a craven swamp, and no amount of other distractions can remove the stench of deep regret ...

 

Amazing really that a feature film about Nuremberg, featuring Rusty, should be slated for release, while at the same time the disunited states are trying to revive the defence of "just following orders" as a valid way to justify war crimes...

At least it allowed the pond to kickstart this dismal Thursday outing with a 'toon:

So many things to thank News Corp for, but the pond must draw the line at petulant Peta, always a blight on Thursday.

The petulant one was trying to dash the lettuce's hopes ...

Bowen’s a gift but Libs have to get house in order
Nothing unites a political party more than the sense that it’s now in a fight with the other side rather than within itself.
By Peta Credlin
Columnist

Sure, there's a rich irony in the way that the onion muncher's puppet master can entirely forget her dismal, thankfully brief, rule ... but it wasn't enough for the pond to go there, with just enough strength left to summon up a sample ...

...Within the partyroom there’s also a disagreement over tactics based on different understandings of political dynamics. The Liberal Left thinks the overall Liberal vote is maximised by being Labor-lite because more conservative Liberals have “nowhere else to go”, they argue, so their votes will nearly always come back via preferences; at the same time, they argue, they can win over Labor voters on the basis that the Liberals can better implement leftist policies. But this ignores the Liberal Party’s entire history showing that the way to come back from opposition – witness the success of Robert Menzies in 1949, Malcolm Fraser in 1975, Howard in 1996, and Tony Abbott in 2013 – is to be a strong and clear alternative to a failing government.
Compare the Howard-era Liberal frontbench with its current successor. For all their occasional disagreements over policy and differences of outlook, the likes of Peter Costello, Abbott, Peter Reith, John Fahey, David Kemp, Nick Minchin, Philip Ruddock and even Amanda Vanstone, and of course Howard himself, were all very substantial public figures.
Even allowing for the nostalgia factor, it’s hard to see comparable talent today. Yet much the same could be said of Labor, whose own historically dismal primary vote is masked by reliable Greens’ preferences. Where are the latter-day Labor equivalents of Paul Keating, Gareth Evans, Peter Walsh, Lionel Bowen, John Button and Graham Richardson, let alone Bob Hawke?
While neither main political party is getting the same calibre of person into public life, that’s more of a problem for the Liberals because they’re currently out of office in almost every jurisdiction in the country and suffering near-terminal decline at a party organisational level due to the protection racket run to protect insiders rather than attract real talent.
In the 1960s, when Australia had half its current population, the NSW division of the Liberal Party had 50,000 members. When Howard won the Bennelong preselection in 1974, there were 22 other candidates; yet when Joe Hockey vacated the once-safe Liberal seat of North Sydney in 2015, there were just three candidates to be the next Liberal MP. Today, the NSW and Victorian divisions each claim about 10,000 members but less than half would be sufficiently active to turn up at events, let alone actively campaign. By contrast the Canadian Conservative Party has more than 400,000 members, meaning that on a proportionate basis the Australian Liberals should have 250,000 members – at least four times the claimed national membership.
In most states, the organisational party tends to be under the thumb of a state parliamentary leadership that’s usually more interested in a quiet life than attracting new members, encouraging policy ideas or vigorous campaigning. In NSW, especially, there are personality-based factions more interested in preserving their own fiefdoms than winning elections, as last year’s debacle over local government preselections shows
While creating a political contest based on strong alternative policies is the parliamentary leadership’s main job, revitalising the organisation and dramatically boosting the party’s membership can’t be neglected if the Coalition is to make a fight of the next election.

What a relief that these days the pond can palm her off to an (intermittent) archive and correspondents can take their pleasure, or not, as the case may be, and the pond thanks them for their attention to this matter ...

Stay strong, lettuce, that word salad must surely help your chances ...

Meanwhile, there came a tasteless headline conjunction ...

Commentary by Geoff Chambers
It’s Jim versus the ‘inflation dragon’ as Labor battles to put out fires
The Treasurer is facing a make-or-break year in 2026, as his ‘inflation dragon’ threatens to torch Labor’s economic agenda.

That reference to putting out fires was immediately followed by news of a real and death-dealing fire ...

DEADLY FIRE
Dozens dead, hundreds missing as blaze ravages Hong Kong high-rises
Almost 300 people are missing and at least 36 dead after bamboo scaffolding caught fire and consumed a Hong Kong apartment complex.

Marvel at the juxtaposition, as the reptiles ripped into Jimbo with one of their classic visual montages ... and yes, to add to the dissonance, they had to throw "heat" into the opening header ...

Really reptiles? 

Dozens dead, and all you can do is joke about "heat" and "putting out fires"?

Besides, if the pond wanted to send up Jimbo, it would turn to the immortal Rowe, master of the dragon arts ...

Meanwhile, and as usual, the Australian Daily Zionist News managed to feature stories distracting from the dismal fate of the West Bank and Gaza ...

BOOK LAUNCH
‘We saw evil, we didn’t turn away … and we will never stop the fight’
Stamp out the ‘poison’ of anti-Semitism: Australia a 'different country' since October 7, Premier warns at book launch
NSW Premier Chris Minns has called for governments to eliminate anti-Semitism’s ‘poison’ while launching a book documenting The Australian’s coverage of the October 7 Hamas attacks.
By Liam Mendes

A nation of shadows: Australia’s Jewish crisis
'An attack on everyone': NSW Premier Chris Minns joins push to defend Australia's Jewish community
Jewish children now walk to school under armed guard in Australia. Is this the country we want to be?
By Caroline Overington
Literary Editor

It's a pond obligation at such moments to draw attention to the latest crisis in Israel, courtesy Haaretz ...

Netanyahu's Lingering Grip on Power Hinges on Delegitimizing Israel's Arab Voters and Their Leaders
The chances that the prime minister will manage to outlaw the United Arab List are slim, but his government will wage a smear campaign against a bloc that could be a major obstacle to victory in the election. As a bonus, this would also hamstring the opposition (*archive link)

While at Haaretz enjoy the live updates, including but not limited to ...

And with  its contractual duties done, the pond could turn to the craven Craven, recycling the "Mean Girls" slur in a way only a craven man could ...

The pond realises that this breaks a long standing rule of not featuring anything to do with the latest spin off on the Lehrmann original - sequels rarely appeal - but in the pond's defence (a) it's not by Dame Slap and (b) by ruling out everybody and everything else, the pond was left with diddly squat and craven contemplations ...

The header: Mean Girls remake is coming to political theatre near you, It is bad enough that Larissa Waters and Zali Steggall’s words are consciously cruel and calculated to cause maximum hurt. But when you add chronic stupidity, you enter the world of the schoolyard bully who always comes bottom of the class.

The caption: Zali Steggall MP holds a press conference at Parliament House in Canberra. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman

That doesn't mean the pond has to like it. 

The pond applied peg to nose, put on a face mask sure to rouse Killer of the IPA's ire, and used a pair of tongs to pick up the dung for inspection.

It is, according to the reptiles, a 5 minute wallow, and the pond held breath and plunged in:

Australian politics is often like one of those loathsome, slimy, multi-eyed sludge-creatures that live in the lightless depths of ocean trenches. No matter how low it goes, there’s always some deeper, more odorous pit in which it can wallow.
Greens leader Larissa Waters made this quite clear this week when she demanded former Liberal minister Linda Reynolds and Reynolds’s former chief of staff Fiona Brown donate to charity any damages awarded to them in the litigation avalanche around the Brittany Higgins saga.
Naturally, teal Zali Steggall sashayed into the cesspit, claiming scrutiny over claims of unfair treatment by Reynolds and Brown amounted to the continued harassment of rape victims.
Who said an Olympic skier who soared all the way to a bronze medal – the sports equivalent of the “conscientious student” award in grade three – could not aspire to a Nobel Peace Prize?
Reynolds has already won her libel case against Higgins and Higgins’s serially invisible husband, David Sharaz. She has been awarded large damages and costs in a court of law.
Reynolds’s political career is over and she has developed serious heart issues, but now she should donate her damages to some support group for victims of violence, presumably one approved by Waters. Seemingly, the wages of comprehensive judicial vindication are politically directed bankruptcy.

What to say, except that the pond has nothing to say, except to propose that this is perhaps the most tiresome reptile jihad in recent times, unrelenting and distracting, as the reptiles' in their jihad frenzy rehashed tired, ancient images, Brittany Higgins (C) leaves the ACT Magistrates Court with members of her legal team in Canberra, October 2022.

The pond felt soiled and immediately repented, but was now in blood stepped so far that, should the pond wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er ...

The case of Brown, however, is much worse. Found to be utterly faultless by Justice Michael Lee in the world’s most ludicrous libel action brought on by Bruce Lehrmann, she lost not only her career but also came close to losing her life. Shattered and out of work, she was shunned by colleagues and former friends. She became the leper. By her own admission, she contemplated suicide.
It is hard to think the saccharine venom of Waters and Steggall will improve her condition. Or that they care. It is bad enough that their words are consciously cruel and calculated to cause maximum hurt. But when you add chronic stupidity, you enter the world of the schoolyard bully who always comes bottom of the class.
The claims of Reynolds and Brown have nothing to do with sexual violence, rape victims or any crime committed against Higgins herself.
The core of Reynolds’s case is that Higgins defamed her on several occasions by claiming, untruthfully, that Reynolds was part of a political conspiracy to cover up what happened on that fateful night at Parliament House. Both Justice Lee in the Lehrmann case and the Supreme Court of Western Australia came to the same conclusion.
What in the name of Perry Mason has this got to do with harassment of rape victims or sexual violence? It is a case about someone being falsely accused of something she never did by someone who ignored several judicial warnings to stay away from defamation and contempt of court. Brown is not even suing Higgins. She is going after the commonwealth for its dismal failure to protect her – faultless as she was – in the maelstrom following Higgins’s disclosures and allegations of political conspiracy.

So many things going on in the world ...

...and yet this is the best the reptiles can manage? Senator Linda Reynolds leaves court with her lawyer Martin Bennett. Picture: Colin Murty

Talk about deeply depressing ...

Her claim has as much to do with victims of sexual violence as it has with the war in Gaza.
Indeed, it is grimly amusing to imagine Waters applying her own compensatory logic to herself. Perhaps, with Reynolds in mind, she could consider donating her salary, in the best feminist manner, to sister politicians who have been cynically pulped by the political process? She might go further and even establish her own charity for the support of women whose mental health has been destroyed as a casual victim of political violence.
This whole gruesome saga entered Australia’s unwilling consciousness as the Mean Girls affair. This was a nod to the 2004 Lindsay Lohan film about a school that specialised in the production not of good citizens but of seasoned tormentors.
It seems to have been compulsory viewing for female members of the Labor caucus. At least the Hollywood teenage title watered down what was actually going on, but there were no “mean girls” involved in this drama with the conno­tation of adolescent immaturity. Instead, there were seasoned female ministers of the crown, bent not on meanness but nuclear-scale nastiness.
The original cast of the Canberra revival of the Lohan classic were Finance Minister Katy Gallagher and Foreign Minister Penny Wong. Both savaged Reynolds over the non-existent political conspiracy to silence Higgins.

On and on he blathered, on and on came the snaps, Fiona Brown (c) with her barrister Dominique Hogan-Doran (r). Picture: John Feder

The pond has learned its lesson, as the craven Craven droned on ...

Unsurprisingly, there was suspicion they had been forewarned and pre-armed with inside information from those around Higgins. Each denied it with the hauteur of a Spanish duchess ejecting a polecat from her farthingale. Gallagher did so inside parliament.
But it quickly emerged that both had at least some general knowledge of the brewing cataclysm, and though they denied weaponising it, Reynolds was still hit by numerous Exocets launched from their direction.
As their level of knowledge crystallised, there were the inevitable claims they had misled parliament, Gallagher in the chamber itself.
Naturally, the Albanese government constituted a privileges committee to consider the activities of Gallagher. Or not. Four years after Higgins made her first formal complaint, Gallagher sails on, untroubled, still Finance Minister and kicking heads.
But the worst thing to emerge from the Higgins fiasco – apart from the assault itself – has been the utter perversion of the legal process by a supposedly neutral commonwealth.
For Reynolds, it was the bizarre action of the law officers of the crown effectively taking over her defence against the Higgins compensation claims, hijacking her lawyers and settling the matter for $2.4m, with the unavoidable public implication that Reynolds was a lowdown conspirator. Of course, the actual payment to Higgins was authorised by the omnipresent Gallagher.
But what was done to Reynolds was just an entree to the legal dissection in store for Brown, the unarmed civilian trapped in political warfare.
Remember that the commonwealth is meant to be a model litigant. It does not take unfair advantage of its resources. It does not pound opponents into submission. It does not flood litigation with taxpayers’ money or string things out so that litigation becomes a noose for its opponent.

At last there was a final snap, Minister for Finance Katy Gallagher

And a final gobbet ...

In accordance with this solemn undertaking, the commonwealth is bludgeoning Brown with a legal cricket bat. It has several vastly expensive KCs all over the case like fleas. It has managed to spin out the case until 2027.
Presumably it hopes that by then Brown will settle for a handful of beans. Or perhaps just give up under the weight of unbearable mental stress. These filthy tactics give cynicism a bad name.
The real lesson is what happens when politics becomes just a game of ego, to triumphantly win or savagely lose, like a Roman gladiatorial spectacle or a fight between mangy dogs.
When that happens, people cease to be people and become simply objects or numbers, to be assailed and disposed of according to the political advantage of the moment. Looking at the whole sorry tale, it is hard to believe Reynolds and Brown were ever seen as more than inanimate pawns, to be moved and sacrificed as desired.
The truly awful thing is that Higgins herself almost certainly was in the same category: useful but ultimately disposable. Apparently the political microcosm that is Canberra is not merely mean. To mangle Hobbes, it really is nasty and brutal, and on decency, it is very, very short.
Greg Craven is former vice-chancellor of Australian Catholic University.

Never again. 

That reference to Hobbes at the very end, and tawdry references to such matters as Roman gladiators and mangy dogs, made Our Henry look like a master of classical invective.

The pond feels extremely soiled, and repeats that promise.

Never, ever again, not even if it's to highlight the barking mad musings of a fundamentalist tyke...

As for the bonus? 

What else litters the Augean stables?

When egos come before patient need, something is very wrong
The reasons behind Queensland’s heart transplant service shunning the world-leading technology researchers within its own hospital developed is a sorry tale of deep dysfunction.
by Natasha Robinson ...

Nah, just a two minute bleat mainly of interest to those living in the deep north ...

What else?

Robert Irwin is conserving nature and revolutionising masculinity
Winning moves of Robert Irwin, Travis Head revolutionising masculinity
The Crocodile Hunter’s son is cha cha-ing onto the world stage and Travis Head is batting his way into the history books, but their success is nothing compared to how they are helping men.
By Jenna Clarke
Culture Writer

Well, at least it's possible to see why the pond ended up with that mangy craven hound.

Cricket passes as culture in the lizard Oz? 

Well, it's probably more entertaining than The Crocodile Hunter was, a movie which the pond once briefly collided with, only to be reminded that working actors like Magda Szubanski and David Wenham would pretty much turn up for anything ...

That left the bouffant one as the very short 2 minute bonus ...

The header: The Coalition want to paint the Energy Minister and COP negotiator as ‘Blackout Bowen’, Chris Bowen – ‘El Presidente’ of COP31 and tagged ‘part-time minister and Blackout Bowen’ – was left adrift and in the dark when the lights failed during the Parliamentary question time on Wednesday.

The caption for the comical snap of cavorting clowns: Members of the Opposition turn on their phone lights after some of the lights in the chamber turned off during question time in the House of Representatives at Parliament House on Wednesday. Picture: AAP

The result was pretty thin gruel, but then it's been a dismal day ...

Chris Bowen – “el Presidente” of COP31 and tagged a “part-time minister and Blackout Bowen” – was left adrift and in the dark when the lights failed during the Parliamentary question time on Wednesday.
While the political spotlight has suddenly switched to the economy as inflation soared to 3.8 per cent, Bowen remained centre stage because the highest level of inflation in 16 months was a result of a 37 per cent increase in electricity prices.
Unfortunately for Bowen, tagged “Blackout Bowen”, even the weather gods – or perhaps foreign hackers – continued to give the embattled Sussan Ley political gifts and blacked out the lights and left the Energy Minister in the dark.
After missing Monday’s House of Representatives question time while in transit from the UN climate change COP30 summit in Brazil, Bowen tried on Tuesday to deflect claims his appointment as the COP31 president meant he was only a “part-time minister because he was a full-time president”.

The reptiles provided only one distracting snap, a cute attempt to make Sauron's helper look as deaf as a beatle ... Minister for Climate Change and Energy Chris Bowen during question time at Parliament House in Canberra. Picture: NewsWire

But if the pond wanted to send up that mob, it would turn to the infallible Pope ...

Sadly the bouffant one was a wit-free void ...

On Wednesday, while Jim Chalmers faced the economic music and households who are unlikely to get any further mortgage rate relief, it was Bowen who was grilled over power prices.
The Treasurer was able to soften the blow ahead of the jump in inflation by warning people of an “uptick” in the Consumer Price Index as power subsidies are withdrawn, but Bowen can’t soften the blow as energy prices continue to rise.
Asked repeatedly about when energy prices will fall, Bowen has been unable to answer for the simple reason there is no likelihood of them falling in the foreseeable future.
The jump in inflation is a big hit on Labor’s economic management, with the expectation the next movement of interest rates will be up. But it is also a big hit on Labor’s underlying energy and climate change policies.
What’s worse for Bowen is the conflict between his role as Energy Minister and the COP global negotiating president goes beyond the simple question of time devoted to each job and to the central aims of the COP31 over the next 12 months.
Bowen’s signing of Australia on to the Colombian-led Belem Declaration group with 23 other nations on the weekend pits him and Australia against the final communique of COP30 in Brazil, with a specific commitment to phase out – not transition – all fossil fuels: coal, oil and gas.
This commitment means Bowen is on a path to go down a more radical path for a fossil fuel-free future in 2026 and in direct contrast to Anthony Albanese’s emphatic declaration Australia needs gas for “transition” decades ahead and there will be no change to coal exports.
Although Bowen will not personally attend the first Belem Declaration group meeting in Colombia next year – being held at a coal-exporting port as a symbol of opposition – as he tries to maximise time in Australia, the principle remains in place.
He also faces calls from climate change activists on one side to ensure Australia adheres to the more radical aims of the Belem Declaration and criticism from Coalition energy spokesman Dan Tehan, who has declared: “Bowen is now completely conflicted.”
As the parliamentary year draws to a close, it’s clear Labor wants to get to the Christmas break and start its planned assault on the Coalition’s dumping of the 2050 net zero carbon emissions target in the new parliamentary year after hitting a Bowen-block this year.

And what of the lettuce and its chances?

How is lactuca sativa going to perform in the New Year? Will it take Susssan down?

And what of the comedy abroad? 

Where's the bromancer when he's badly needed?

Trump, 79, Has Baffling Plan to Rename the Republican Party After Himself (*archive link)

Meanwhile, how to speak with forked tongue ...

‘Traitor’: US representatives call for Trump envoy Witkoff to be fired after leaked Kremlin call

Republicans and Democrats warn Witkoff ‘cannot be trusted’ after reportedly advising officials on peace plan

In a recording obtained by Bloomberg of a 14 October phone call between Witkoff and Yuri Ushakov, Vladimir Putin’s top foreign policy aide, Witkoff said peace would require Moscow gaining control of Donetsk and potentially additional Ukrainian territory.

“Now, me to you, I know what it’s going to take to get a peace deal done: Donetsk and maybe a land swap somewhere,” Witkoff said, according to Bloomberg’s transcript. “But I’m saying instead of talking like that, let’s talk more hopefully because I think we’re going to get to a deal here.”

Witkoff also gave Ushakov tactical advice, including how the Russian leader should approach the issue with Trump. It included suggestions about scheduling a Trump-Putin phone call before the planned visit of the Ukrainian president, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, to the White House.

On Wednesday, Ushakov appeared to confirm the call’s authenticity to Russian state television, suggesting the leak was meant to “hinder” negotiations. During the conversation, Ushakov said Putin would congratulate Trump and call him “a real peace man”.

As the pond tried to pucker up, hapless Wilcox arrived to remind the pond of notions that must remain unmentionable in reptile company ...