Christmas already, and the signs at Broadway feeling the heat already …
How it brought joy to the heart of the pond, even if it makes reality look like a Photoshop ...and then there were the reptiles, gladdening the pond's heart with business news, thanks to the Graudian here …
The pond is pleased to note that it's abandoning Apple and going over to the dark side - yes, the pond is going PC, because after all, what's Bill Gates done wrong, apart from consorting with a known pedophile and being a useless twit?
As for Facebook, the pond has the same relationship to it as it has to the Melbourne Cup … should the pond boast yet again that it's never been on a horse race track, except once in Tamworth and once on a film shoot, and both times nary a single horse could be spotted?
But through it all the pond has never been able to give up on the bromancer.
And so today the pond decided it would plunge back in. Sure, there are oodles of other distractions - the dog botherer doing climate science yet again, and the onion muncher on glorious parade throughout the week - but none of these know how to distract in the way that the bromancer does …
Yes, folks, confronted by the Donald, the Murdoch empire in disarray, Fox and Friends, Hannity, Tucker, that dreadful Ingraham woman shouting treason from the rooftops, Republicans in confusion and chaos, the United States fucked, Boris leading the UK into the wilderness, and so on and so forth, what else to do, but kick the commie can down the road, because after all, good old Joe McCarthy had the game plan right way back when, and what was good for Joe is good enough for the bromancer…
It's an oldie, but a goodie … and the pond goes along because it allows the pond its very own favourite form of distraction, a few cartoons … b
But a warning. No one can ever say that the pond doesn't issue a fair warning. This is a long distraction, an epic distraction, a wayward, wilful meandering distraction, a road movie, a journey, the bromancer Iliad and the Odyssey rolled into one, and at the end of it, the pond will provide a further epic distraction …
Cruel and inhuman punishment? It's just another day in the reptile cage so far as the pond is concerned ...
It's a good opening, a solid opening, and it is of course completely wrong for the pond to skip years ahead to see where it all might end up … but where's the harm?
Oh yes, but it's just as well to remember, because when we get to the next bit of bromancer, and talk of tearing down walls, we might forget that the cry was 'build the wall,' and 'Mexico's going to pay for it' … and didn't that go well …
But enough of the fun, it's back to the bromancer … and talk of the wall ...
Uh huh. Of course Solzhenitsyn had been driven a little mad by his time in the gulag, and Fukuyama knew nothing of Chairman Rupert and the reptiles and what they might dream up, and even now the talk of neurotic obsessions along the barren road of identity politics is amusing to hear, considering it's coming from a Catholic who once travelled the road with fundamentalists of the B. A. Santamaria kind, and who even now wants to distract from the elephant in the room, or the elephant indulging in a fireside chat..
Okay, the bromancer is trying to be serious, but these days, that means dancing back to the days of Ronnie Raygun, because there's bugger all to see in the here and now ...
Now the pond hates to quibble, but it's caught the bromancer out in a bald-faced lie …
We all know the greatest president, thanks to Jon, the reptiles, Fox and Friends, Chairman Rupert, the Donald himself, and Lou …
Oh glorious days …
Is it any wonder that the bromancer's history lesson sounds a little odd to the pond's ears?
Never mind, the bromancer was being terribly serious, and so the reptiles helped him out with a few illustrations, and the pond, being a stickler, felt the need to reproduce them … just to help any students preparing for an essay on democracy ...
Of course the reptiles had to import them from AFP, and the pond has absolutely no explanation for how that cartoon got into the middle of them … but now, it's back to the history lesson, and onwards the two valiant remaining readers trudge ...
But why would we want any of that, when all the reptiles do as they come and go is chat of Michelangelo, and the Donald …
And so back to the bromancer's attempt to change the tune, while urging the pond to take a cheque, whatever that means … (try explaining a cheque to anyone under twenty) ...
Oh dear sweet long absent lord, dear sweet Jaysus, does the bromancer really think he can pull the wool over the pond's eyes, and make the pond forget what's going down right now?
Okay, you can google any of those stories, just don't forget the headline ...
Phew, speaking of witchcraft, is it turkey time yet?
Alright, alright, already, the pond promises to stop interrupting … the bromancer is on a serious roll …
Oh blessed mutton Dutton, pray they never sail towards Australia, or where would we be? Perhaps hell bent on introducing Chinese Orwellian digital systems ...
How did an infallible Pope end up in the mix? And the pond without a valid betting slip?
The pond had promised to stay with the Donald, but this talk of extremism naturally led the pond to think of the fiercely ideological digitising Dutton ...
Ah, the search for the Order of Lenin medal continues, but sssh, let us not mention the useful idiots who went in praise of the likes of Franco …
Oh sweet memories of Franco's triumph, but soon enough prattling Polonius will come again, and meanwhile the pond is once again distracted, when it should be remembering the main game …
These days, of course, such derangements are reptile approved ...
You see? Could anyone except the bromancer deliver a line as sublimely stupid as that last one? Could anyone sound sillier and stupider than Boris?
The bromancer can …
But sadly we are now in last gobbet territory ...
Actually, the pond is back where it started. Learning not to subscribe to the reptiles, learning not to send tribute to Chairman Rupert, would be as good a place as any to start the recovery …
Let the reptiles go out onto the streets and make an honest living, instead of practising the art of distraction and nonsensical blather…
And now as promised, the pond continues with its cruel and unusual punishment, a course designed only for ultra marathoners, even if the pond is only taking in a fair average Saturday sampling of just a few of the old white Catholics that litter the pages of the lizard Oz …
Come on down, prattling Polonius, and deliver a standard tirade against the ABC ...
Now as an aside, the pond should confess that it gave up listening to Fran Kelly, and subsequent attempts to return have been defeated by discovering Geraldine Doogue now litters the RN airwaves … and of course the pond never watches Q and A … never had and never will, and so escaped all the reptile turmoil during the week …
But please remember that there's the ABC … and then there's the reptiles routinely ranting in a never-ending way about the ABC ...
Indeed, indeed. Why on earth didn't they think of choosing Polonius himself to take it up to all those chattering women?
But enough of pity, because Polonius is shocked, outraged, hurt, angry, and determined to prattle …
Indeed, indeed, and so if anyone urges boycotting the reptiles in the manner of the pond, they would be in deep trouble, and deserve all sorts of punishments …
But enough of comedy, because pedantic old Polonius is about to abandon the usual history lesson for an in-depth explanation of boycotts, even more top notch than his devotion to Ming the Merciless ...
Meanwhile, as the government contemplates imitating the best practices of the Chinese and Russian systems, which only nanoseconds ago sent the bromancer into a splenetic fury, what to do?
Well, please consider boycotting all Chairman Rupert offerings … it's a certain way to produce howls of rage amongst the reptiles …
And now before proceeding, the pond must abandon its cartoons to head back in time …
Why this nostalgia for crimes past, for the breach of Godwin's Law, and the pond's own assorted contributions to its Godwin's Law swear jar?
Well, Polonius delivers a ripper of forgetfulness in his final gobbet ...
Oh righteous indignation about comparisons with the Nazi party, oh humorous irony, oh bullets on the statue of Jesus sounding the call to Franco's arms …
And with that, the pond offers a few more cartoons as a way of calling an end to the proceedings this day of the Lizard Oz Memorial Society of Reptile Catholic Columnists … whom it's fair to say the pond finds as irritating as any pinko commie pervert … though perhaps not as distracting from the Donald as they should be …
I'll start reading the Bromancer epic momentarily, DP, but first I thought I'd throw something into the conversation, especially as you say you'll basically ignore the Bromancer's first love:
ReplyDeleteIn an ABC report of the Onion Muncher's farewell noshup to celebrate Abbott's "be the best we can be" government, the list of those forming the named Tony Abbott cheer squad: Alan Jones, Peter Dutton, Bronwyn Bishop, Craig Kelly, John Howard, Scott Morrison, Joe Hockey
And not a single mention of the Bromancer. Says all that needs to be said, I guess.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-08/tony-abbott-tells-dinner-his-government-was-underapreciated/11683510
My oh my todays rant proves that the bromancer does "live" in a boys own comic book version of reality.
ReplyDeleteThe truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the "great communicator" via two books.
The Man Who Sold the World Ronald Reagan and the Betrayal of Main Street America by William Kleinknecht.
www.psychohistory.com/books/reagans-america
The Truth about the "greatest pope" of the 20th century via the book by David Yallop titled The Power and the Glory Inside the Dark Heart of John Paul II's Vatican
I think that the "boys own comic book" had a much better grasp of reality than the Bromancer has ever, or will ever, achieve.
DeleteWell, a lovely long read to start a slow, rain-splattered Melbourne weekend, DP. But heaps to contemplate, so I'll just throw in a few passing gems as below.
ReplyDeleteStarting with the Bromancer about the Raygun: "...every night when he came on television you felt better just for seeing him".
Now what on Earth could any even partially sane person say about that ? Well, just that the Bromancer has found another bromance - this time with someone who is thankfully "passed" and who can't muck it up like all the Bromancer's live ones seem to do.
Moving along to the Onion Muncher on B.A. Santamaria: "Yet if his life was the failure he often protested it was, it was a magnificent failure that changed and improved our country and hundreds, if not thousands, of its leaders."
Hmm, well I can count the Muncher - that's one - but who are the other 1,999 (at a minimum) of our country's "leaders" who owe their success to B.A.S. ? Apart from the Bromancer and the Muncher, nobody - not even Polonius - seems to ever mention Santamaria nowadays. So yes, I'd say that counts as total failure of a life. Wouldn't you ?
Polonius repeating Nayuka Gorrie: "...the (alleged) basis that the powers that be were "trying to kill" indigenous Australians."
But of course "they" were and are. Someone should just maybe point this out to Polonius:
Indigenous deaths in custody worsen in year of tracking by Deaths Inside project
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/aug/23/indigenous-deaths-in-custody-worsen-over-year-of-tracking-by-deaths-inside-project
Just a short quote from that article: "Exclusive: 17 more people have died since August 2018, when analysis revealed 407 deaths since the end of 1991 royal commission."
So Polonius is probably right: if the "powers that be" were really trying, they'd have managed a lot more than 424, wouldn't they.
Poor Greggles, lamenting the lack of Hollywood adaptations of Solzhenitsyn's works.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he could console himself with the non-Hollywood One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich, with Tom Courtenay in the title role:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Day_in_the_Life_of_Ivan_Denisovich_(film)
I can't vouch for any of these, never having seen them, but there have been at least three non-Hollywood adapations of Solzhenitsyn's novel The First Circle:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_First_Circle_(1973_film)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_First_Circle_(1992_film)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_First_Circle_(miniseries)
After reading Dorothy's report on Sheridan, and his ranting article,and seeing him in full on meltdown on The Drum during the week, claiming Christians are the most persecute religious group in the world, and talking over and frothing with mucous flecked delirium at a Religious Scholar who dared to use his intellect and scholarship to reduce Sheridan to a 2nd hand suit wearing shell of a man, outflanked by his own stupidity, I am convinced Sheridan is going through a full on mental breakdown. The guy just gets crazier and crazier as he is denied the respect, only he thinks he deserves.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the thought of Murdoch's dole being taken away is also taking its toll.
As for Polonius, the little turd's hypocrisy never fails to amuse me.
Well 'Christians' are apparently the most numerous of religious believers in the world, sully - about 2.3 billion adherents cf Muslims at 1.8 billion and Hindus at 1.1 billion ( https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/aug/27/religion-why-is-faith-growing-and-what-happens-next ) - so on a simple proportional basis they must be the most persecuted.
DeleteJust think, for example, of all those Catholic kids world-wide that were, and are, persecuted by Catholic priests and nuns, and not only by the pederastic ones.
But yeah, Greggy does seem to have gone overboard, doesn't he. Ever since he wrote that book about God, I reckon.