Going into the future the pond is of the disposition to finalise a solution ...

(Above: and more Rowe here).

What surprised the pond was that anyone should have been surprised.

Anyone who's remotely been paying attention knows that Tony Abbott thinks climate science is crap, and that he finds homosexuality threatening. Why would he change?

Why, as Mike Carlton tweeted, would anyone expect anything different from a 1970s DLP thug?

Of course the pond was fascinated by the presser late last night after the six or so hour haul. The form of words was exquisite to behold:

Going into the next election we will finalise another position err The disposition of the party room this evening is that our position going into the next election should be that in a subsequent term of parliament er this is a matter that should rightly be put to the Australian people. Um. Let's face it, it's not an especially complex matter of administration, err, it's not an especially complex piece of policy, err, it is pretty instinctive, whether or not you support same sex marriage, whether or not you support the concept of marriage, which has been around since time immemorial, um, and this is quite properly somethink err that might well be decided err by the Australian people, err something that should be a matter for all of us rather than a matter simply for some of us, tch, so that's where we're at, err, we have not finalised a position, to take to the next election, we have finalised a position for the duration of this term, err, going into the next election we'll have more to say but the disposition is that in the next term of parliament we will put it to the people.

It got even better and richer in response to questions - it seems that people who want 'traditional' marriage (you know of the polygamy and concubines and incest and bigamy kind celebrated in the bible) can stick with the Liberal party, and those who want to explore changes to 'traditional' marriage can stick with the Liberal party as it bungs on some kind of finalised other position, whatever that might be:

...Arising out of today is that if you support the existing definition of marriage between a man and a woman, er the Coalition is absolutely on your side, but if you would like to see change, at some place at some time in the future, er the Coalition is prepared to er make that potentially possible ... but the disposition, as I said, is that it should happen through a people's vote rather than simply through a parliament's vote...

Was there ever a more exquisite form of words, a more perfect form of humbug and dissembling?

And throughout Abbott did his thing with a smirk and a cock a hoop air, as if he'd just had a significant victory.

There was, he assured the country, strong support from his Talibanish clique of Christian fundamentalist colleagues.

Naturally there was a twittering frenzy, with talk of there being too much science in conscience and other jokes ...

Here's the reality, not the humbug. So long as Tony Abbott is in power, the Liberal party will never take meaningful action on climate change, or actively pave the way for gay marriage. The idea that the party can continue to be on the side of traditional marriage while calling on an expensive - and given their position, fatally divisive - national public opinion poll is an absurdity of Monty Python proportions.

Abbott's sister is delusional, her silly, futile hopes misplaced and betrayed, and the moderates in the Liberal party, a small, cowardly and wavering band of futtocks, will once again roll over like the quislings and facilitators that they are ...

It's impossible not to feel contempt for Liberals who imagine that they're liberal ...

The response of the Murdochians is, as always, revealing. By any account, a six hour Liberal party room meeting over an issue is a story.

Here's how the Terrorists dealt with it:

Page five.

And the other tabloids did their duty too.

The reptiles put it at the top of the page:

And early in the morning it was on top of the digital page:

But much of the rest was business as usual. The noxious Sharri Markson continues the weird fascination with Q and A, a bizarre and compelling sight even weirder than the show:

Gee, that auditor's really sharp. The pond can't wait for the insights on offer about Seven's utterly compelling, insightful and very noisy show, Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud, which transformed the pond's scientific understanding of the universe.

And there was Dame Slap, still painfully and slowly catching up, as she left her conspiracy theories about UN government aside for a moment:

Regain respect? Tell that to Aretha Franklin ...

We can always rely on the Dame to be at the cutting edge. When will there be a show, Dame Slap Makes you Laugh Out Loud?

Never mind, what did the bouffant one have to say about the farce du jour?

Well let's start with the ironic juxtaposition, a flash ad celebrating the power of the newspaper to help motivate change:

Now there's a top notch joke.

Back to the bouffant one:

A light spanking with a feather.

Where's the celebration of the major double flip, the sense of a leader who doesn't have a clue except for his passionate desire to cling to power?

Same-sex marriage 'should be owned by the Parliament': Tony Abbott (with forced video)

Gay marriage referendum in Australia dismissed by Tony Abbott, Bill Shorten as Ireland votes for change.

"Referendums are held in this country where there's a proposal to change the constitution," Mr Abbott told reporters in Brisbane on Sunday. 
"I don't think anyone's suggesting that the constitution needs to be changed in this respect." (here, with bonus cartoon).

A pitiful figure blowing in the wind, a metaphor which happily allows the pond to pivot to a new topic, though it is another pitiful figure.

Buckle up, it's fascinating to watch a smarmy facilitator in action. It's impossible not to feel queasy, such is the potent effect of the rocking motion, even if it's gold bar stuff:

Australia will show international leadership .... now that fills the pond's quota of laughs for the day. But please do go on, and please allow the pond to credit its source, the place where you pay to go to get the daily gruel kept within a paywall even though it comes as a statement by a Minister of the Crown (the long absent lord bless her majestic socks):

Pure, undiluted humbug, and no doubt the humbugger sleeps well at night ...

But let's look on the upside. Auspol has been full of fun, and Andrew Meares came up with a wondrous snap that has already been turned into a meme.

And that's what passes for progress in Australia this bright, sunny Sydney morning ...