Cory Bernardi Walks A Fine Line ...

(Above: sheesh, Tory, too much, way too much information, Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi gets six-pack after 8-week bootcamp).



The fun surrounding Senator Cory Bernardi continues apace.

Yesterday the wires ran hot - or perhaps that should be the HFC cables ran at a snail's pace - with reports such as Senator Sue Boyce lashes fellow Liberal Cory Bernardi for anti-abortion comments.

Senator Boyce, who described herself as ''pro-choice'', said Senator Bernardi's views on abortion exposed a ''lack of compassion, a lack of genuine Christianity''. 
''I find it immoral to pontificate on the topic of abortion without looking at some of the reasons behind why a woman might seek to have an abortion,'' she said. 
''Women don't have abortions for frivolous reasons.''

And Boyce was a late arrival, with Liberal MP Warren Entsch attacks Cory Bernardi on 'gay obsession' already out and about several days earlier:

''He's obviously got an obsession with people that are gay,'' Mr Entsch said. ''It worries me. You've really got to watch out for those that have these obsessions. He who protests the loudest …'' 
Mr Entsch wondered what Senator Bernardi would think if a member of his family turned out to be gay. ''Would he advocate sterilisation?'' 
Senator Bernardi is reportedly seeking legal advice over Mr Entsch's comments.


Oh yes, pretty please, sue him, let's all be able to witness a bloody good Liberal party stoush with lawyers at ten paces ...

It seems Entsch, a step-father, took exception to the notion that only a married biological mother and father could provide a "gold standard" for children's development, while also dismissing Bernardi's views on abortion as nonsense.

Meanwhile, the bold brave leader maintained a resolute silence - it takes exceptional bravery to defy the steady drip of a drippy Bernardi but such willingness to stand up to water torture is the mark of a hero, as you can read in Tony Abbott keeps distance from Cory Bernardi abortion comments.

Abbott's spokeswoman issued a one-sentence statement on Monday:

''Senator Bernardi is a backbencher and his views do not represent the position of the government.''

Would no one stand up for the steady drip?

Cue Senator John Madigan, fundie, racing to the rescue, as reported in Under fire Senator Cory Bernardi finally finds supporter in John Madigan.

With friends like these, who needs enemies? But at least we now know Bernardi's real home, the DLP:

Senator Madigan said Senator Bernardi had been subjected to "vitriol" and this was "a dangerous development and hurts our democratic system." 
"It is becoming increasingly obvious there is an element that does not believe in freedom of expression and the right of all individuals to hold a belief," he said.

Indeed, indeed, and never mind that it's becoming increasingly obvious that rabid gay haters and loathers of women's rights, also tend to be deniers of the right of people to express freely their support for gays and women and call Bernardi out as a first class rolled gold ponce of the first water.

It's becoming increasingly obvious that this is  a dangerous development which hurts our democratic system - seeing as Bernardi seems to have a goodly dose of vitriol and bile stored in his brain (is it the liver that's not working, and how does acidic vitriol get on with the alkaline bile?) - and we can thank the Abbott government for setting the tone that encourages the squawking of the loons.

Of course a few people got agitated, like Andrew Porter banging his drum at The Drum with The real danger in Cory Bernardi's comments. But what else would you expect at the home of the cardigan wearers.

Crikey even went so low as to name names - well they kept a discreet silence on a few - but there were already enough glaring examples of Liberals who didn't fit Bernardi's gold standard of family life.

Like the love child adopted out back in the day when Abbott thought he was the father, with Abbott involved in the decision to give the child a bronze standard upbringing. Or Abbott's sister, or Malcolm Turnbull with a single father, or George Brandis with a single mother.

Crikey also trotted out another Liberal:

Coalition MP Sharman Stone told Crikey that Bernardi’s book contains “angry and hurtful views”, and talking down non-traditional families is “just nonsense”. Stone, a Victorian Liberal MP, was particularly annoyed at Bernardi’s description of those who advocate for abortion rights as “pro-death” and his claim that some women use abortion as “an abhorrent form of birth control”. 
 “I find that deeply offensive … it’s a hate-filled statement,” she said. Stone called on her author-colleague to donate the proceeds from his book to a women’s refuge. “I certainly don’t think we should have people trying to make profit out of books which are deliberately provocative and anti-women and children.” 
 As to Bernardi’s views on families, Stone said: “Well, certainly in stereotyping a particular group or individual, it’s just that — it’s not looking at the reality. Blended families have been the nature of Western cultures for generations. After each war there’s been single mother-reared families … what matters is if the child has stability and love.” (Cory's hit-list: Bernardi's colleagues who don't make the grade, paywall affected).

With colleagues like these, who needs enemies?

But perhaps the greatest crime Crikey reported?

Some of Bernardi’s Coalition colleagues may not be aware of his concerns about their upbringing, however. A number of Liberal sources told Crikey no one they knew was reading his book. “I’ve not seen a copy of it yet anywhere in the building,” a Liberal staffer said from Parliament House. 

Eek, he's being ignored? And with a six pack body?

Which brings us, as usual, to the reptiles at the lizard Oz.

First of all, read this letter from Robert Wrona to the reptiles:

Okay now think of a header for the letter.

Think of a it a bit like that cartoon competition in The New Yorker. The latest one closes on 12th January and some time ago they tweaked the rules so Australians can enter, here.

                                So Cory, standing on the red carpet of shame one more time?

No, no, that's pathetic, hopeless, and not a single American will understand a reference to a two bit bum from South Australia.

Anyway, they get his sort of gibberish every day of the year from fundie ratbag tea partiers, and they'd be astonished to see someone aping the worst of American politics ...

So it's back to that reader's letter. How about?

Bernardi Out of Touch With Mainstream Australia

No, that's far too severe.

What about?

Bernardi Alienates Voters from The Coalition

Steady, steady, that sounds vaguely threatening and personal.

Perhaps your eye moved to that last line?

Bernardi Lectures Women and Gays on Their Inferiority

You think you're going to pick up a subbie job amongst the reptiles with that? Last chance:

Bernardi Walks a Fine Line

I know what you were thinking, balanced, but with a hint of trouble, and a direct homage to the letter.

Golly do you have a lot to learn about the fine art of spin.

You see, it's essential to be supportive, what with all the vitriol and the bile doing the rounds.

Yes, you doofus, wrong or right, he's entitled to his opinion!

Hmm, that's still not quite right, is it? Oh sure Bernardi is entitled to his opinion, just like any other loon, but that right or wrong bit suggests he might be wrong.

What to do, what to do?

That simply won't fly on the front page, but remember brevity is wit:

There you go, done with class and style.

Senator Bernardi entitled to opinion! Fair and balanced and say no more.

Now that you've learnt the art, take it for a spin, see how it drives:

Chancellor Adolf Hitler entitled to opinion 
Stalin entitled to opinion
Chairman Mao entitled to opinion

You see, one size fits all, and it can be used in the most dire circumstances and without, it has to be said, breaching Godwin's Law, since a little known codicil to that wonderful law says:

People invoking Adolf Hitler, Cory Bernardi or John Madigan are entitled to their metaphor

Meanwhile, the Amazon reviews have now spiralled out of control, with - at time of writing - already over 500, here,  for a book likely to hit the remainder shelf pretty quickly for the remaining tree killer readers out there.

And everybody's laughing and mocking and cat-calling and reporting on the folly, as in Amazon flooded with reviews mocking Cory Bernardi's book The Conservative Revolution, (forced video at end of link) and Cory Bernardi's magnum opus sparks a wave of satirical book reviews.

Dammit, a couple of days ago, Junkee even had the cheek to nominate The Five Best Amazon Reviews of Cory Bernardi's 'The Conservative Revolution'.

The poor old six pack has turned into an internet meme.

It turned out that the funniest note in Junkee came in the comments section:

A genuine, or so it seems, since who knows on the intertubes, tea partier turning out for good old Cory.

It being Friday, and with supporters like this, and after a full week of water-cooler fun, laughter - and dare we say it, gaiety, perhaps even gay abandon - Bernardi has hands down won the pond's "loon of the working week" award, dedicated to all those who relieve the gloom of people working long hours at mill ...

It might not be as grand as the 2014 loon of the year award, but give him time, give him time. Loon of the month beckons and then Everest itself calls. And remember this man is a six pack goer ... mere mockery will never stop an international internet meme ...

(Below: statesman and visionary, eyes fixed on heaven)