Overdosing on compound chocolate of the Abbmurdochracy kind ...

(Above: Tony Abbott goes Wonka)


Certainly not. Absolutely no way ...

Watch two gherkins go around when they affect the pond worse than chalk screeching on blackboard?

The pond did catch a few gobbets, like that dunderhead assuring a sexist questioner that big business would pay for said dunderhead's unseemly largesse, without pausing to consider for a nanosecond who big business might charge to offset the cost ...

But for the rest last night was time well spent with the Gruen mob and the Chaser lads hamstering away, and there was a decent sprinkling of laughs to hand.

And so on.

As usual, however, reality outdid the comedians ...

Now the pond has in recent times been lending a sympathetic ear to the Liberal party's siren song on the folly of shovelling money down the throats of American manufacturers so they can pretend to be the redemption of the Australian manufacturing industry. Look what they did to Detroit ...

The only people who might care about using market forces to arrive at a more responsive and productive local manufacturing base are petrol heads like Tim Bleagh wondering where their next Ford v Holden V 8 showdown will come from, as they drag their knuckles off to the raceway...

The pond has seen the same sort of cargo cult at work in the film industry, with money shovelled down the throat of Disney and any other studio with a large enough scoop bag. ($50 million to subsidise the manufacture of yet another adaptation of 20,000 Leagues? Yep, house of mouse, whatever you want, and while you're at it read Garry Maddox's lickspittle apology for the shakedown, here, running the multiplier routine like a Hollywood racketeer).

The car follies - a long running song and dance routine - were compounded by the Labor party deciding to crack down on a rort to bolster its revenue, while continuing to offer up a generous subsidy as a way of avoiding what is heading towards the inevitable, with Ford going and Holden almost certain to join them in being gone.

And then, lordy lordy, what should turn up yesterday but this?

10:25am: Mr Abbott has promised a Coalition government would contribute $16 million towards a $66 million upgrade of the Cadbury chocolate factory. This money would allow the once famous factory tours to be offered to the public once again (they were suspended in 2008) which, the Coalition's press release points out, would be good for tourism. Some of the money would also go "towards a trial to grow cocoa tress in northern Australia" as a "first step toward producing a 100 per cent Australian made chocolate bar". Chocolate production would be increased to 70,000 tonnes a year. 
Could this be the first ever chocolate policy? (down the page in Fairfax's Federal Election Live coverage)

Now the pond has a fierce chocolate addiction, but after reading this, any talk of the coalition being rigorous managers of the economy flew out the window.

A cool 16 mill so that punters could do a tour of the Cadbury chocolate factory? It'll bolster tourism?

We're going to grow cocoa in the north so we'll be cocoa secure in the event of a global meltdown and consequent crisis in the supply of chocolate?

Sheesh, it's just a boondoggle, a pork barrel, backscratching, electoral alms, logrolling, snouts in the trough, and while it's a small gesture, it's profoundly indicative of Abbott's attitude to perks ...

The only consolation? Well it sent Chris Berg into a tweeting meltdown, of the kind you get when you melt chocolate for a rich cake (don't forget the cream):

(more Bergian twitter here)

The pond still couldn't believe it, but there it was in the headlines, with headers saying Puns milked as Tony Abbott visits chocolate factory, and generally favourable coverage, along the lines that there would be a $66 million job boost for Cadbury workers.

They need a subsidy to sell chocolate?

Even worse, Abbott made a joke about having never been so close to so much chocolate and not eaten any of it (yes he did and you can read his address to Cadbury chocolate factory workers at his website here).

A double negative from the nattering master of negativity.

Naturally the pond went looking for some rage, even if it was feeble milk chocolate, or wretched compound chocolate of the manufactured Murdochian kind

It seemed an obvious front page, with a Daily Terror artist drawing out the amazing resemblance of Tony Abbott to a Wonka (sometimes you might spell and say that word slightly differently):

Instead the Daily Terror was at its predictable worst, as one-eyed as a Cyclops in a Ray Harryhausen film:

Yes, it was another epic effort from Gemma Jones, working this time in consort with Lanai Scarr - no link, the pond refuses to link to puffery of the pathetic kind, and is there anyone more pathetic than Gemma Jones?

You will remember Gemma Jones ... she featured on Media Watch on Monday ...

Now you might have heard of the banality of evil. Here's the banality of stupidity:

But you want more don't you ...

You want to head off into the land of the truly surreal, you want to go down the rabbit hole with Alice and Gemma ...

Why not spend a little time reading the reptiles at the lizard Oz lathering themselves into a righteous frenzy in Daily Tele to lodge complaints against Media Watch attack (behind the paywall but you know how to google)...

Yes, they're whinging and moaning about not being consulted about being called one-eyed Cyclops indulging in political assassination. And no sooner have they finished moaning about life and Media Watch being unfair, they unleash Gemma Jones and the hounds with an even more pathetic beat-up.

Well you know what they used to say in Tamworth. Crybabies and sissies, and they can dish it out, but they can't take it ...

At the same time, the reptiles at the lizard Oz huffed and puffed about the way British MP Tom Watson had talked to the ABC, but refused to allow himself to be defamed by the reptiles. So they did it anyway:

Mr Watson has not responded to The Australian's attempts to contact him for an interview, either in Australia or in London before travelling here. The Australian has been told several senior News journalists were invited onto the panel on QandA to debate Mr Watson, but they all declined, as did an editor who had been invited to join him with Faine. 
An ABC spokeswoman said: "Like The Australian, the ABC has sought to quiz (Mr Watson) on his views. That has included asking him about the motives behind his visit and his background. It's true we didn't ask him about his weight . . . or the age of his partner. He was, however, appropriately challenged during the interview on relevant matters. The audience can make up its own mind on the ABC's journalistic output. They seem to trust our methods better than they do The Australian's." 
Trioli refused to comment on why she had not asked Mr Watson about his career troubles, which have included well-publicised issues with British law.

Yes that's how rich and righteous and sanctimonious it gets with the lizards of Oz, huffing and puffing about Waston's issues with British law ...

... while working for a corporation which routinely and brazenly broke British law, and the only apparent regret, if we are to trust the words of its chairman, is that it got caught ...

It truly is an evil empire, relentless in its pursuit of enemies around the globe, and the sooner it comes down, the better for all, even the walking dead who currently work for it ...

But you want more, don't you, you want endless absurdities coming at ya from the land of the lizard Oz...

Well you could always read Bernard Salt, who spends an entire column, a huge piece of study and references to the census and statistics and localities, presented in an incredibly earnest and insightful way, to come to a remarkable conclusion in The digital divide is genuine but it is closing slowly ... (behind the paywall because you really don't need to read it).

Here's the take home message as summarised by the pond:

Poor people are less likely to be able to pay for access to the internet, and some poor people haven't hooked up yet.

That's about it. Call it the digital divide and mention that the NBN isn't the problem - you know it's a Roller solution when we should be talking bicycles - and you can get yourself a space amongst the reptiles ...

Waiter, the pond is feeling faint. Some 70% chocolate if you please ...

What's that, you only have heavily subsidised Cadbury shit?

How many blows can the chattering elites withstand?

(Below: the solution for politicians and News Corp hacks inclined to make a mess? As Tony Abbott drops welfarism all over the place?)