Most people probably skip right past the splashes the Fairfax press put religiously at the top of their pages for their "TV service", showing aged and useless documentaries they've picked up for a song and a dance and a dime.
But surely a new low point has been reached when you see this sort of teaser:
Explosive Evidence
Why do 1700 experts dispute the official story about the collapse of the Twin Towers?
The use of the faux statistic - 1700 experts - immediately tips the hat that you're in the territory of cultists, cranks, eccentrics, weirdos, conspiracy theorists and tin foil hat wearers, and yet this is what Fairfax puts at the top of its page as an apparently key part of its branding and its services.
Do you get the tin foil hat for free?
What will happen to Fairfax TV when they put up their partial paywall?
Watching a documentary with their streaming service is like having root canal therapy, and watching something featuring "Explosive evidence" about the Twin Towers is like having the streaming done by a conspiracy theorist armed with pliers.
This is grindhouse stuff, beyond the valley of the Tarantino.
Never mind, the pond is immensely pleased that some silly person googled for "Naughty Dorothy" and somehow ended up on the pond.
It turns out that there is in fact a real Naughty Dorothy and they do a line in lingerie and corsets and bustiers for foolish UK women who have a lazy thirty to sixty quid to play dress up games (and you may find Naughty Dorothy here).
Who could have imagined, or cared?
This site doesn't owe its allegiance to the bimbo brigade but to naughty Dorothy Parker, who once remarked that brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Ms Parker might also have said:
This is not a newspaper and a website to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Or how about her epitaph?
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including Fairfax for free conspiracy TV, it was against her better judgment.
Naughty Dorothy, but why, you might be asking (or you might not), has the pond rambled on about the fantasy life of hapless British men, in the context of the "Explosive Evidence" offered by Fairfax, for free, tin foil hat bonus extra?
Well it turns out that if you live in Melbourne, you're offered something entirely different in the top of the page splash:
Ultimate fantasy football! Evolved! Sign up!
Evolved? The knuckles no longer drag on the ground at the bounce of the ball?
And people wonder why the pond proposes that newspapers in this country are doomed. Or that the entire country is doomed. Or at least Victoria, and certainly Melbourne.
Or is that just Dorothy being naughty?
Never mind, since it's Sunday, and the pond is feeling frisky and anxious to please all the mature gentlemen out there in search of naughtiness, there was of course a reason for mentioning Fairfax picking up wretched docs for a song and a dance and a dime ...
Cue dimes and taxi dancers!
And more taxi dancer dance hall day images are here, and if you feel stiffed because you went looking for "naughty Dorothy dancer", try not typing silly search terms into google ...
Why didn't you just type in "explosive evidence ... 1700 expert tin foil hat wearers", and you'd have ended up at Fairfax ...
You're welcome, have a nice day, come on back ya hear, and tell us what it's like to be a woman in the land of the dime ...
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