And now for compelling evidence that there's not a conservative voice to be heard in Fairfax land ...

(Above: and more Nicholson here).

I love pointing out to leftards that the Fairfax papers don’t have a single conservative commentator anywhere in the country. They come back with the usual “yes they do” until you ask them to name one.

What, not even prattling Prufrock, known far and wide as Gerard Henderson, taking the ball up the middle for the Sydney Institute?

No, no, it seems that's just a front for a bunch of Trotsky-ites, or perhaps internationalists. Whatever, you'd never take Henderson for a conservative. His idle chatter about deviants at the ABC or the malevolence of inner city elites and educated types is just a front. Everyone knows he's an educated, inner city, ABC-listening, well-educated elitist.

Okay, how about Chris Berg, putting his best foot forward for the IPA? Absolutely not. Sure he might pretend to be a libertarian, but actually the IPA is all for government intervention ... in favour of grog, gambling and cigarettes. Conservatives are supposed to conserve things, and the IPA is hell bent on societal destruction. Scratch Chris Berg as a conservative ...

Okay, let's leave the institutes alone.

Surely Peter Costello deserves a conservative gong?

Sorry, truth to tell, the Howard-Costello government was one of the most dangerous proto-Marxist socialist governments doing the rounds, what with its dedication to middle class welfarism, and radical plans for paternalistic intervention in almost all aspects of Australian life ... first begun with an invasion of the Northern Territory.

But surely Paul Sheehan?

Oh come on, every week Captain Grumpy is featured as a foodie with a taste for magic water in these very pages. The man's more eastern suburbs tosser than conservative ...

How about a ratbag like Ross Cameron then? Oh come on, only a few days ago, he revealed himself as some kind of weird, raving, greenie, leftie, bell-bottom trouser wearing, dayglo- loving, paisley pattern and corduroy clad whale hugger, with Whales and the why - a puzzle since Pliny's day:

...we cannot escape the fact that half the 60 species of whale are endangered, overwhelmingly as a result of human actions.

Whale hugger!

So thanks Larry of Canberra, dedicated reader of the Bolter. Why you toss around adjectives like olives in a salad, and truly there's not a conservative voice to be heard in Fairfax land.

Surely Fairfax desperately needs Gina Rinehart for a make-over.

But how did the pond end up in these bizarre, strange, and deeply disturbed waters, the faraway, far-fetched world of the Bolter, and devoted lovers of his work? And no, it's not a land at the top of the magic faraway tree that will disappear in a few days, it goes on and on, on a daily basis ...

Well the pond wondered what the Bolter, lap dog to Gina Rinehart if you believe that it's more than a coincidence that the coming of Rinehart to a Ten shareholding and board position saw Ten suddenly decide that producing a dreary ranting current affairs show featuring the Bolter was the way to get ahead with bright programming for the youth demographic it loves to chase. As opposed to running video clips and delivering the same numbers ...

And in the process, the pond made a shocking discovery, more shocking than the news that the Bolter was an opera lover, a wine and food snob, and a yearner after Europe - oh to be in Italy for the summer opera season and Germany for the Ring cycle - as the Bolter pleaded to be left out of the whole Conroy Rinehart Fairfax circus in Leave me out of it:

Oh, the hyperventilating. It’s utterly bizarre to see myself being used as a figure of horror by a man who for years was a friend - and not because he disagreed with my views - to try to incite resistance to Rinehart’s move in Fairfax, which is actually a competitor to the media business which employs me. (And for the umpteenth time on the record, I was employed personally by Lachlan Murdoch, then Ten’s interim chief executive and someone I’ve known for years.)

Eeek, the Bolter claims a friendship with Stephen Conroy! Why that's completely bizarre, and yet utterly predictable. Could Conroy be a closet opera lover? No, we've heard him sing the Collingwood club song, it's completely implausible ...

As for Ten, it and Seven were the biggest losers in summer TV ratings, despite Ten trying to keep the faith with its demographic by debuting It's a Knockout, and first-run shows like Merlin and The Glades. (Ten and Seven biggest losers in summer TV ratings).

Thank the lord the Bolter is coming back with his Report, and the show is sure to save their ratings with an hypnotic gesture ...

Go Merlin or the Bolter or whatever. Thank the lord it's all due to Lachlan Murdoch alone, who never chatted with his board room colleagues about anything, as is only fit and right and proper when running a business at arm's length from reality ...

Meanwhile, what joy to read the Bolter rant about group thinkers, since the only distinguishing feature of his blog is the way he's managed to corral a whole tribe of opera lovers into an orgy of group thinking ...

All that presumes I’d want to desert News Ltd and seek a much smaller audience with Fairfax, but what a measure it is of how furiously Fairfax resists a diversity of views. That is its most fundamental journalistic sin - an intolerance of debate on some of the most pressing and interesting issues we face.

Uh huh. Now there's a wondrous logic. Suddenly it seems Fairfax and its board is in alliance with Conroy, and suddenly it's Fairfax resisting a diversity of views, and suddenly Andrew Bolt is talking about fundamental journalistic sins ... as if somehow his form of aggressive opinion-making is a form of journalism, rather than mere hyperventilating opinion-making of an ill-informed kind, where he can't even get his facts right when it comes to important matters, among the most pressing and interesting issues we face, when they turn up in court ...

But what's this, Larry of Canberra? Is the Bolter sounding unnervingly like Paul Sheehan and Gerard Henderson or what?

So what’s the real difference between Rinehart and the rest that’s causing all this fuss? Simple. It’s just politics. The Left - and Conroy - cannot tolerate the risk that a Fairfax asset like The Age might be nudged into appealing to a broader readership than the public service Left it pitches to so strongly. The Left is protecting its patch.

Go on, Gerard, join in, show Larry of Canberra what's what:

The year ends with The Age's house leftie Michael Leunig bemoaning the ''dreary dictates of materialism''. He is one of the paper's higher-paid contributors. (here)

Thanks Gerard, but let's go back right away to the delusional monomania of a master of hyper-ventilation:

Take this government incitement of fears by the Left that I might now be inserted into Fairfax. That should actually count as a win to the Left, to have me writing to so many fewer readers. But what offends the Left is that they regard Fairfax as their property, to be kept as conservative-free as possible. Let Murdoch papers do debate instead.

Roll that one around on your tongue. The left regard Fairfax as their property...

QED, the left own the likes of Paul Sheehan, Gerard Henderson, Chris Berg, Ross Cameron, Peter Costello ... oh stop it, stop it, or we'll all go blind ...

So try rolling this jaffa around in your mouth instead.

Let Murdoch papers do debate instead ...

Yep, a one-eyed, fervid, foaming rant by the Bolter apparently constitutes debate, in much the same way as listening to the parrot on radio constitutes a conversation in "polly wants a cracker" style ...

I don’t know what Rinehart will do with her shareholding. I don’t want to leave News Ltd. All I’d appreciate is a government with ministers who told the truth, argued rationally, and stopped portraying even old friends as ogres to stifle debate.

Eeek, he said it again, claiming a friendship between the Bolter and Stephen Conroy.

By golly, the pond never had much of an opinion about Conroy - master of let's censor everything in the universe and the intertubes via a gigantic filter - but that's sealed the deal.

Meanwhile, ain't it grand to be told to tell the truth, and argue rationally, and avoid stifling debate, coming from a man so freely disposed to wheeling out random terms of abuse, most notably in relation to lefties, and leftism, as if there's something wrong with being left-handed (yes the pond shoots with the left eye and nothing wrong with that).

As to whether the Bolter has any understanding of how unctuous and false he sounds citing friendship, and shouting about being portrayed as an ogre when of course his whole business is playing the ogre to lefties and leftards, and serving up his daily doses of abuse to a fawning coterie of admirers ... the comments section is a seething swamp of fear and loathing and hatred and envy and bitterness and sullen spite ... and with the result roughly akin to listening to a Manly or Collingwood or Crows supporter bang on for an hour or two about how the world is agin 'em ...

Well who knows, that sentence just ran out of steam, and in the end, like attempting to listen to the dire re-invention of the RN schedule, who cares. It's so easy to switch the dial ...

Oh the tedium, designed to make fifteen hours of the Ring cycle straight seem like bliss ...

Roll on that paywall for the Herald Sun, and please make sure that all opera lovers are put behind it, no exceptions, not even for Larry of Canberra ...

(Below: speaking of mates).