Sunday, November 17, 2019

In which the bromancer provides the weekend reptile capper ...


Originally the pond thought it would only do its weekend closer so it could run this photo. 

The pond was assured by the supplier that it was taken on last Friday night at about 6.30 pm at Sydney airport, showing that so few people were interested in the reptile giveaway that nobody could be fucked undoing the rags and tossing them out into the world …they can't even give it away for free.

But let's be fair, there was also the siren song of the bromancer, and it always calls to the pond, and sometimes the crew forget to chain the pond to the mast. 

Why should the bromancer, of all people, be overlooked, when the pond has stuck by him through thick and thin, and he's currently in such fine form?


That reference to masters of the universe was a real conversation starter, a sign of the elevated level of political discourse in these troubled times …


Yes, that's the Donald, right there on the cover, though whether it's man or beast remains an open question.

But credit where credit is due, because it's on with heaping praise on two professional liars and routine adulterers, and in the case of the Don, a man as corrupt as any New York mafia hoodlum or union boss …


In the usual way, the pond can only take so much bromancer triumphalism and stupidity before it reaches for a cartoon. 
Usually when it deals with a British Etonian born liar, sacked for his dishonesty (never mind the notorious adultery), it might borrow a cartoon from the Graudian, but this time a link will suffice …because so much is happening in Donald world, it's like a circus every day, with a ready solution when it comes to democratic difficulties …


Yes, it's a cartoon led recovery, as the bromancer dreams of a Donald victory … and why should the pond care, because if he wins, he'll fuck over and corrupt the country even more, and soon enough it will look even more like a banana republic …(right now it's probably about quango plutocrat dancing with the stars mango mode) ...


The pond should have added that with Boris in charge, little England will likely be fucked as well, though the dreams of the Moggy to turn it into a tax shelter dodge and wheeze of the Cayman or Cook island kind might well take care of the well-heeled Etonians eager never to do an honest day's work in their lives, the British monarchy providing an ideal role model …

And what a healthy relationship to the world that is …


Funny how the cartoons seem to fit both sides of the Atlantic, and now on with more gloating bromancer ...


Of course, the Tories will also do well with Vlad the Impaler, who will want his say … having produced a striking democratic victory in the US, resulting in an incredible achievement for the rule of law …





By golly, that quartet went together so well, a bit like Borodin's string quartet turning into Baubles, Bangles and Beads, that the pond didn't have the heart to separate them, even if it meant an extended absence from the bromancer's bromides ...


You heard the man, he's calling it for the Donald, because what's wrong with a little deep corruption? Okay, pedants will write it down, in the hope of reminding the bromancer come election day.

But the pond doesn't care, and every so often has a shiver of fear. What if the Donald were to lose? The pond has to confess it wouldn't know what it would do without the daily entertainment emanating from the circus …and nor would Colbert, Kimmel, Myers and the rest of the gag industry, feasting daily on our love of gagging ...



And so to an epic horse laugh, the bromancer celebrating the Donald's substantial achievements … which somehow fails to include the ability to spew hate, divide the country, see a neo-Nazi supervise immigration policies in the White House, build an entirely meaningless and useless wall, which might be live streamed for entertainment, but which has helped hardware stores in Mexico do a useful trade, and so on and so forth … (and by the way where would we be without one of the 'leet lionising him for hating on leets?)


Around this point, the pond began to realise who the bromancer was sounding like … a long line of arse-lickers ...



Sadly, the fun has to end sometime and so to the final bromancer gobbet ...


Golly gee gosh willykins, fucking a country and screwing the mug punters can be fun!

But wait, there's even more fun characters lurking in the wings, waiting to make the next act even more entertaining, and so to a final flurry of cartoons …





6 comments:

  1. Hi Dorothy,

    You can always rely on Sheridan to peddle the line on Murdoch’s vested interests around the world and Rupert has his fingers in many pies.

    By the way what was this all about;

    https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2019/10/why-is-william-barr-meeting-with-rupert-murdoch

    As for fucking up the UK, why not promote an ex-stockbroker who imagines himself the man of the people.

    “Farage’s matey, earthy, imperturbable demeanour disguises what a historically significant politicia­n he is.”

    Or maybe a cheap spiv on sale to the highest bidder;

    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/farage-peerage-brexit-party-boris-johnson-letter-ed-davey-a9205871.html

    As for the Bromancer’s skill as an investigative journalist, this made me laugh;

    “A leaked Tory campaign documents shows the party thinks it has strong chances with five sets of voters it didn’t get in 2017. They are Labour voters who supported Leave in the 2016 referendum; soft Labour voters concerned about Corbyn; Brexit Party supporters; traditional non-voters; and Tory Remain voters who yet may accept­ that Johnson’s EU deal embodies a measure of compromise and that Corbyn is just too scary.”

    Leaked? What straight from Crosby-Textor, who are running the Tory Campaign, to Sheridan’s inbox.

    Thank you Dorothy for yet another glimpse into the considered analysis from the Senior Foreign Editor of Australia’s sole broadsheet.

    DiddyWrote

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "an ex-stockbroker who imagines himself the man of the people."

      And how about an ex-advertising executive and quasi-religious nut who imagines himself a 'daggy dad' ?

      It would seem that the 'normalisation' of the Trumps, Johnsons and Morrisons of the world is now complete. No need to take any notice of, nor now mention, anything of their past - that's all just yesterday's "fake news".

      Of course, as the reptile 'identity politics' pushers never seem to notice, it's only the very simple-minded (eg them) who only have a single identity. Many of us are just a tad more complex and adaptable than that. Some even manage to achieve a caring, sharing, informed and rational 'identity' that has noticed, for instance, Trump's pussy grabbing and daily stream of tweeted lies.

      But now Trump and Johnson (and Morrison in his own lesser way) are members in full of the reptile 'identity' and a lifetime of incomparable achievement and reptile admiration awaits them.

      Delete
  2. As for every week - thank you Dorothy for distilling the, er - essence - of 'News Limited', so saving us the tedium of having to do that for ourselves. Thank you also for the collections of cartoons, which are the best part of the weekend, every weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I see Boris has also started wearing his tie with a good bit of it hanging below the belt like a squashed flat (in his case blue) phallus. How does ScoMo wear his again?

    We used to call that sloppy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is good, because Sheridan has an unrivalled record of getting predictions wrong. The first one I remember is his prediction that the US action against Grenada would fail. After that I noticed that whenever he predicted something, the opposite happened. (That is until I got bored with his increasingly wild conjectures).
    "You can take it to the bank: the American election is effectively all over, Clinton has won. Trump cannot pull off victory from here."
    — Sheridan in The Australian, 8 November, 2016

    ReplyDelete
  5. "...there was also the siren song of the bromancer,and it always calls to the Pond, and sometimes the crew forget to chain the Pond to the mast."

    Dorothy, you are a lu-lu.
    Here's a bit of Jersey wisdom I have always kept close to my heart. I offer it as a small measure of recompense for your delightful musings:

    "If you can't figure out who the mark is at the poker table, it's you"

    ReplyDelete

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