Sometimes it's devouring their young, sometimes it's just devouring a PM.
Whatever, it guarantees hours of harmless pleasure, and Niki Savva was in excellent form at reptile headquarters. Even the illustration had its charms, and once again the pond had an eerie, mysterious sense that perhaps Ms Savva didn't much like Tony Abbott:
Well it's not up there with Picasso, that portrait of the hot-dogging freestyler, and these days you need a snow machine to get the sort of snow a PM might expect for a snow job, but on to the litany of lizard complaints:
By golly, that's quite a handsome list, but actually it's quite modest, and really the credit should be spread around a little more.
For more achievements, why not head off to Achievements of the Abbott Government to Date?
- Waited 3 months before giving medication to a toddler with tuberculosis, which can be fatal.
- Spent thousands of government dollars on taxi rides to the Opera in just 8 days. The government claims that the expenditure is reasonable because the minister didn't pay for the tickets either.
- Spent thousands of government dollars on limousine rides, and fudged the declaration paperwork to say they were taxi rides.
- Incorrectly described the number of points on a star on the national flag, whilst sitting in front of 10 of them.
- Spent $10,000 trying to chase down someone who leaked information to the media about how the Prime Minister deliberately and knowingly used false information to justify opposition to a defence force pay rise.
- Held innocent asylum seekers in the same facilities as convicted rapists and murderers.
- Spent $90,000 to send The Speaker to Europe for a fortnight so that she could apply for a job.
- Spent $5,000 on a helicopter so that Bronwyn Bishop wouldn't have to travel 1 hour by car to get to a Liberal fundraising event.
- Spent $27,000 on travel expenses for politicians to attend free sports events.
- Spent $500,000 on Australian flags in just 6 months, despite the alleged budget emergency.
- Banned the Clean Energy Finance Corporation (CEFC) from investing in wind power and small scale solar power.
And that's just for starters. The pond quickly got listicle fatigue and nausea, and began to list and feel listless, but there's much more at the link, including links to all the great achievements mentioned. It must have been a labor of love by Matthew Davis, and even better all the achievements are listed by chronology or policy areas.
Oops, sorry, we've strayed from the reptile howl of pain. Please go on, the pond is in reptile heaven, and could we have an explanation of that cartoon at the top of the page by dragging in a ski-ing metaphor?
Someone in the top job who can't do it properly ...
Well yes, is this the worst government ever, is this the worst Prime Minister since Billy McMahon?
All hotly disputed of course, but why do the reptiles think that there's going to be improvement?
Each time Abbott makes a faux pas, he's handed a Dunce's cap or a spanking or an F and told he must do better, must improve, must pay more attention, must do this or that, and yet he never does.
He's a repeat serial offender, and if you say that three times, it's still true. The worst PM of all time has had plenty of change to change his stripes and improve his spots. But he can't and he won't. The pond was reminded of that old saw that only newly weds think they can change or improve the character of their partner ...
So what are the reptiles going to do about it? Who are they going to propose who's more appealing than the unappealing Bill?
You see, Savva broke off just when it might have got interesting. Another trawl through that list of contenders that might not be rhetorical. Oh sure the battle for the Speakership will keep everyone entertained for the week.
But after that? What happens when the man who's made a career of sticking his foot in his mouth again? Another column?
That's it? No wonder readers look at the reptiles in awe ...
And now, as always, a sorbet to refresh the palate, this thanks to First Dog, and the full cartoon here:
If only she would ... take her ideological "Captain's Pick" lovechild with her ...
But she won't. Her final insult to the nation ... and yet the rhetoric and the hand-wringing goes on in reptile land ...