Monday, August 31, 2015

Time to put out some rum-sodden Chrissie cake in good time for the early arrival of Santa ...

(Above: and more Rowe here).

Yes, Virginia, today finally, at last, after many delays, Santa proves he's real. But what an anti-climax. If the old present stays, it's sure to be doomed, battered around on the playground and discarded; if it goes, talk about irrelevant. The only interest will be in the new present, and what class of forelock tugging servile servant can be found to serve the cause. Better have a tough hide, but at least the pay's exceptionally good.

Meanwhile, the reptiles of Oz have faithfully led with the drums of war as a sound, responsible distraction from other sordid affairs, along with a little editorial hand-wringing of the hypocritical kind:

What? Time to send more refugees to Cambodia? Didn't that work out well? Plan to resettle refugees in Cambodia collapses ...

What a disgrace. Don't go on with your pathetic pusillanimous handwringing about refugees right at the moment please reptiles, show some common decency.

Meanwhile, other operational matters are proceeding at a splendid pace, as per the Graudian's Border force announcement went to Peter Dutton's office twice before release.

But you won't find any of this in the lizard Oz. Instead the stenographer has written a spiffing report about yet another act of childish, petulant spite.

Who cares? Who gives a stuff what an illiterate awards to his chums, courtesy of his jury of chums?

Oh and there's low comedy too:

Hmm, could the pond see a Bramston, and raise it by a Katauskas?

(found here, but you can also see Ms Katauskas here).

One thing's certain. History will remember Troy Bramston as a particularly silly reptile ...

But enough of serious operational matters, because the pond is, rather like movies of the Mondo Cane kind, dedicated to reptile bizarre, and these days the dog botherer's obsession with the ABC has gone well beyond the unhinged and the deranged into the borderline hysterical.

Oh and let's not leave Twitter out of it ... or all the other standard reptile behemoths.

Yes, the dog botherer is trolling once again for Media Watch to pay attention:

Remarkable stuff. Frantic, paranoid, desperate, hysterical. And apparently the dog botherer didn't catch up on Freedom Boy's thoughts on the matter of that policing strategy.

...our responsibilities don't end there. We have an ongoing obligation to hold the arms of government to account. We periodically have debates about the merits or otherwise of laws to protect rights and freedoms. But freedom doesn't solely live in laws. 
It sits in the hearts and minds of the body politic. On Friday, it didn't matter where you were on the political spectrum. Every Melburnian understood in a free and pluralist society it was their responsibility to defend freedoms and basic decency for all.

What a silly man, clearly loitering with his twitter account at a cafe or a university bar. Doesn't he realise that it matters, really matters, where you are on the political spectrum if you're a rabid fundamentalist ideological reptile zealot of the dog bothering kind.

Perhaps that's why the pond can now smell the fear. Clearly that can that was kicked down the road to Canning now seems to contain a lot of worms, and lordy, lordy are the reptiles seriously worried ...

But don't let the pond get in the way of a dog botherer rant going over old ground, because, after all, where's the harm in molesting corpses in a time of war:

Ah Canning, Canning, what a difficult can you are ... speaking of which, the Fairfaxians are at it again:

Oh dear, not jolly Joe. But why, oh why?

Yes, the cabinet ministers are leaking and speaking out of shop once again, as you can read here:

One cabinet minister familiar with the talks said a swing against the Coalition of more than six per cent - which would still see the Liberal Party's candidate Andrew Hastie win the seat -€“ would be bad news for the prime minister and more than 10 per cent would be "dire". 
"They are considering dumping Hockey post-Canning and believe that will get them to Christmas," the minister said, with any move dependent on the result. 
A second cabinet minister said Mr Abbott was under "œenormous pressure" and it was possible Mr Hockey would be "thrown to the wolves"€ to protect the prime minister's leadership.

Damn you twitterati, damn you to hell. Look what damage you've wrought with your jejune chants and your university bars and inner city cafe lifestyle ...

No wonder the dog botherer is agitated. What's wrong with a fascist lifestyle anyway? The uniforms would give a portly, middle aged, balding, angry, white man quite a lift in looks ... black really does offset that bright lobster red face, a condition caused by too much shouting ...

Well the pond luckily has arrived at a solution, albeit thanks to Twitter:

Oh, it's going to be a good week. Thanks Santa, you've arrived way too early, but you'll possibly get the pond to Xmas, so we'll make sure to put out a glass of port and a nicely rum-saturated Chrissie cake ...


  1. TweeeeEEEeeet .. t .. t ....fffffttt! Darn, there goes the pea. I dunno, DP, seems like a good time to bully Indonesia (again), or Timor Leste.

  2. "Among primates social grooming helps establishing and maintaining alliances"

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Bishop to Europe: "Join War on IS"

    Europe to Bishop: "Where did you say you were from again? Oh yes, Tony Abbott. And you do what?"


  5. A couple of points..On the Headline : "Bishop to Europe..."...I don't think one would need to eavesdrop on the reply from "Europe to Bishop..."..the "jejune" tweet of reply could no doubt be "heard" in Tierra del Feugo!

    And on the "Dog botherer" sycophancy..If one was to draw an analogy with another famous "sell out merchant" ;Judas Iscariot...London to a brick in today's panic climate, Judas would quite confidently hold out for 50 pieces of silver!

  6. Is the poodle's tome up for a gong, or the bromancer's, or polonius', or prospectively candoo's forthcoming epic (as due to neoliberal reform tones may not be around next year), or what?

  7. It's funny how, apart from the Pond, the ABC is the only news service I regularly tune into and yet even I KNEW FROM ABC REPORTING that Hastie "wasn't there", "reported it", and "the investigation cleared" him. Funny that. Chris Kenny is a tool among tools.

    1. The thing I don't get about Kenny (and Devine and The Magic Water Man and ...) is whether, and if so how much, they actually believe what they're saying.

      It puts me very much in mind of Winston Smith in 1984 doing his daily round of "factionalising" the past into line with the requirements of Big Brother and IngSoc as he gaily commits 'the truth" to the memory hole. Does Kenny have a memory hole somewhere ? Late at night with the blinds down, the lights off and his defences in stand down, does he ever remember what reality was ?

  8. Run "Fineprint"
    Print "theguidedogassistingatemymindwork.txt"
    Print> "Subject: What even is a reasonable layperson?"
    Print> "BCC: a reasonable layperson avatar"


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