Tuesday, August 25, 2015

In which the pond plumps for a cartoon and meme-led recovery ...

The pond has decided that such is the current absurdity, so abundant is the fluff, that the only way forward is a meme and cartoon-led recovery. 

Like this meme, already bounding around wild and free, celebrating the thoughts of Erica:

The pond didn't catch much of the 4 Corners hatchet job on Bill - such is the pond's dislike of Bill - but did wander through when Kathy Jackson was given a free shot.

She wasn't presented as "disgraced union official", she was just given a free shot, at least in the bit the pond saw. A rough equivalent would be getting Craig Thomson or Peter Slipper in to take a pot shot at Abbott, without let or introduction, in the 4 Corners' story about Abbott that will undoubtedly land next Monday. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa, a wild thing and a budget emergency, and no doubt in the interests of balance, 4 Corners will undoubtedly do over Abbott next Monday. Remember, you read it here first, and remember the pond is always wrong ...

And then there was embittered old nest featherer Martin Ferguson, a man of coal, also given plenty of free shots, as he goes about the business of reinventing himself, and becomes a lesser - because even more brainless - nakedly self-serving and self-interested version of Gary Johns.

But then Erica came out with his immortal line, already a meme, and the pond regretted not watching the entire hatchet job, done in the nick of time for Canning, as if it will help the ABC with the coalition ... as if the scorpion rewarded the frog for its humble service.

But enough of that, because in the process jolly Joe has already been swept from the headlines, despite the best endeavours of the cartoonists:

Yes, poor old jolly Joe, losing his timing at this wretched time in his useless career.

But perhaps he never had any, perhaps he was always the stumblebum only catching the headliens for the wrong reasons (and you can catch the first half of that First Dog cartoon here).

The reptile tabloid parrots did their best to fall into line. What a peculiar sight, reptiles screeching like a bunch of cockies:

But there was a distracting bear in the room:

What a glum lead it made for the digerati reptiles of Oz:

That poll result reminded the pond of another cartoon:

Never mind, the pond forgives jolly Joe everything because his valiant attempt to change the direction of the national conversation produced this delightful cartoon:

If only he were a wild thing, instead of a hapless goose in his cups ...

And there was Rowe, too, invoking the pond's other favourite reading material (and more Rowe here):

By golly, that's a demonic Cheshire cat, up there with that cigar-smoking Alice ...

Meanwhile, big Mal was out and about defending the indefensible and the inexcusable, as the NBN went about the business of defending the blow-out, and its second hand fraudband. A fifteen billion dollar blow out for a second rate service ... that's a considerable achievement. And isn't it wondrous to see the well paid bureaucrats deliver their well paid blather as the man with no shame, Mal "Godwin" "let me feed you more bull" Turnbull paraded in his best finery...

But it did produce another delightful meme:

By this time, it should have become clear that the pond is in a frivolous mood this morning.

In the land of fluff, it's fluff or be fluffed.

How fluffy is it getting? Well thanks to Media Watch, the pond was reminded how the melting down Latham attracted the deep sympathy of the commentariat:

Shakspere and Mark Latham? Yes the ineffably stupid Rowan Dean was at his ineffably stupid best.

Finally, some substance, some grit. Let us dwell with the doltish Dean for awhile:

How to put your lippy on before reading the news?

Well there's only one lucid response to that. Get fucked. Go fuck yourself. Why don't you take a flying fuck at the moon Mr Dean ... ?

And if Mark Latham bears the remotest relationship to Shakspere, the pond will eat a serve of lipstick (provided it's raspberry flavoured).

And what do you know this very morning?

But it wasn't just the Fairfaxians. The reptiles were also lining up to cluck cluck and tut tut:

Now what's the bet that this very day, you will see Jeff Kennett, Miranda the Devine, the Bolter and the ineffably dumb Rowan Dean lining up to berate prudish Liberal MP Fiona Scott, and defend the hapless Q and A and its Shaksperian form of free speech and a little anal joke?

You know, this sort of rhetorical guff:

In your dreams, anal lovers, but it's all you can expect in this time of fluff in the land of fluff ...

Instead you're likely to find much time and talk expended sagely explaining how Abbott has developed and expanded and grown, and become more liberal and aware and progressive over the years. Just look at his attitude to gay marriage to see how he's broadened ...

About the only good thing in that jibber jabber is the chance of a good meme:

And so on, as if the leopard or the tiger would change stripes or spots or whatever they're wearing this day, but it introduces a most excellent Pope cartoon, and more Pope here:

Is it any wonder the pond has developed a profound contempt for the dissembling Abbott?

And is there anything else to note on this anal day of fluff, cartoons and memes?

Just one thing:

And so the reptile commentariat of Oz select their future king and present him to the emperor as their choice ...


  1. A 4-Corners on Tony Abbott? What about a sit-com with Tony, Margie and the Girls?

    Can't set it in the Lodge though, since they don't live there like Julia did.

    Somebody would have to be crazy brave and have pots of money to spare for lawyers and bribes to do that.

  2. DP - here are two handy definitions of 'fluffer', either of which seem appropriate, but then I reckon you already knew this.

    1. A fluffer is a person employed to keep a male adult film star aroused on the set. These duties, which do not necessarily involve touching the actors, are considered part of the makeup department. After setting up the desired angle, the director asks the actors to hold position and calls for the fluffer to "fluff" the actors for the shot. Fluffing could also entail sexual acts such as fellatio or non-penetrative sex.

    According to some pornographic actors, such as Aurora Snow, James Deen, and Keiran Lee, fluffers do not actually exist.

    2. On the London Underground, a fluffer is the name given to a person employed to clean the tracks in the tunnels. The passage of the trains through the tunnels draws in dust and rubbish. Removing this debris is essential to maintain the safety of the Underground, as it would otherwise create a fire hazard.

    1. thanks Anon, for expanding the world of the pond. Who knew that Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights was the paradigm for Australian politics?

  3. Gawd 'elp us, DP, an(other) offensive tweet is on the rampage! Send out Mal!
    Grovelling apologies all round. Can Rowan Dean save the day for the ABC?

    1. If you believe that UC, the pond has a nude Sydney Harbour Bridge to sell you, along with an Opera House stripped of its tiles. Racy stuff ...

  4. The memies,cartoonists and a small number bloggers seem to be the only sane members of the commentariat left in the world,DP.
    Poor old Malband looked extremely sullen on 7.30 last night.Wonder why?


    1. Malband! An excellent name for a man who has earned his contempt the lazy way, with all the class of an AM transistor radio ...

  5. Twitter handle brings nation to it's knee's!! ...Warren obviously saw this shit comin'. this very day.

    Play it loud,OK!

  6. Help !

    Can somebody please explain Rowe cartoons to me - starting with DP's choice for today. Yes, I kinda worked out that a Cheshire Cat is in there, but why is it in there ?

    It's not just Rowe's overblown style (which means I can only partially work out who he's satirising), it's that I just don't get any 'humour' from any of his cartoons. can you help by explaining him, please.


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