Saturday, August 01, 2015

In which the pond embarks on an epic, obsessive journey with the dog botherer ...

The pond is delighted at the reading on offer this weekend in reptile la la land.

You have to admire the loyalty of the reptiles. When it comes to flogging a mate's book, the chums are always ready to play up and play the game:

A double dose of prattling Polonius! And by golly, the delusional one thinks that Santa is real and he had a friendship with him.

How bizarre can it get, this relentless flogging?

Yep, it's a screen cap only, but there's Polonius's reptilian colleague peddling the tome, as two boring old drones drone on. It's available for your pleasure at the ABC here.

That man clutching the tome actually looks a bit like he's doing a Tony Abbott pose:

Millionaire atheist socialists making a fortune tormenting people with advertising, and now relentlessly talking over guests, march on.

But the pond is tired of Santa and his little helpers. No, not that one:

Aw, so cute.

And now to a solemn duty that will test the strength and resoluteness of any reader.

The pond has long contended a couple of simple truths about the dog botherer. It goes without saying that he's barking mad, but the pond's thesis is also that he's a closet climate denialist, fixated on the ABC and Media Watch.

Now you'll need a choc top or three and plenty of popcorn and diabetes-inducing soda to come to the QED proof. But this is why the pond decided to forego the rich pleasure of more time spent with Santa and his barking mad little helpers. Richer game was afoot:

Already the pond can feel mutterings of dissent, tremors of fear, hints that life is short and there is much else to do.

This is true, but to prove that the dog botherer is deeply obsessed, we must follow him deeply into his deeply obsessive behaviour and his truly obsessive scribbling.

Let the journey begin:

Already the pond can hear pathetic whimpering. Are we there yet, voices moan?

But we've just got into the car, we've barely hit the road. Sure anyone who uses the term "climate alarmist" and considers they deserve anything but a "climate denialist" in return is a pathetic and risible figure, but we didn't promise you anything intelligent or sensible, we promised you madness and obsession, like a Bette Davis movie.

Buckle up, there's another six gobbets to go!

You there, the one foaming at the mouth. Clearly all this talk of obsession has sent you mad. But the pond advised you it would be a tough, long haul. Leave the room immediately or at least wipe the spittle from your mush.

Those that fell over laughing at the line about the reptiles fostering intelligent debate must in any case leave the room immediately.

Hey nonny no, on we go:

The pond hears some pleading and begging. Yes, he's barking mad, yes, he's clearly obsessed and obsessive, and can we finish with it now, please, oh pretty please, just make it end ...

Hah, fie, weaklings and starvelings, tuck into your popcorn because we've only just begun:

Oh yes, it was the moment you've been waiting for.


At that point the dog botherer disappears up his own Orwellian fundament, with a hefty fine due to an important sub-section of Godwin's Law.

Pre-Mike Godwin and its prevalence on the Internet, the spoken and written word version of this was called reductio ad Hitlerum or argumentum ad Hitlerum, coined by ethical philosopher Leo Strauss in 1953. It means pretty much the same as Godwin's Law: "A view is not refuted by the fact that it happens to have been shared by Hitler." 
George Orwell said something similar in his 1946 essay, "Politics and the English Language", where he noted the new definition of fascism had pretty much become "anything you don't agree with". (here)

And throwing Orwellian into the conversation is as silly as ...oh it's been a long haul, we should stop for a meme:

And you don't get much stupider than flinging around "Orwellian" and expecting it to stick as a debating point.

In fact you have to be dog-bothering dumb, but hey ho, on we go:

Which is completely unlike the selective reporting, omission and fear mongering and emotive posturing about wind turbines that the reptiles routinely display!


Oh dear, will it never end?

Because burning dirty brown coal is good and right and decent and proper! Just ask the good citizens of Morwell. Let us not hear any dissident talk of alternatives, or even the exploration of same.

Remember, it's coal, coal, coal for Australia.

Oh dear, the pond has just noticed readers dropping like flies. Only a few remain. Courage plucky lads and lasses, remember this is up there with St Crispin's day and just a few more hard yards will see us reach the peak in triumph:

Did you make it? Remember to tip the sherpa in good western colonialist style, and well done, well done, those who managed it.

And that capper "climate change groupthink" was a very nice touch and a reward for all those who wanted a tidy rounding off of the argument in the style you'd expect of a dog botherer addicted to climate change denialist groupthink.

Hey, the pond can be as scientific as Kenny in its use of language.

Now some will wonder why the pond didn't bother actually considering Kenny's very serious and solemn arguments. But that's what scientists are for.

If you read Kenny for the science, no doubt you read The Onion for its serious news reporting.

Sadly, on the evidence, Kenny's no scientist, more a defensive, posturing, obsessive and obsessed ratbag reptile.

And anyway, all the pond wanted to prove was its simple thesis that the dog botherer has an unhealthy obsession with climate denialism, the ABC and Media Watch in particular, and that his defence of the ways of the reptiles in relation to climate science displays an alarming sensitivity bordering on hysteria ...

The pond thinks it's done a QED in a way that leaves not a shadow of a doubt ... or at least around that famous 97% level ... and that's close enough for the pond.

And with job done, for those brave - nay heroic - souls who made it this far, here's an old pond favourite:

Well Chris Kenny does, thanks Dr Nathan Null ...


  1. Don't be so harsh on Kenny, Dot. He's introduced a new term: "Murdochophobia" - now we can all play along.

  2. Gadfly in today's Saturday paper has some interesting titbits about Bronhilde's academic credentials and her propensity for social manoeuvring to further her interests.

    “Bishop failed a total of 11 subjects over six years. In her first year, in 1960, she failed all four subjects and was required to repeat the year. She then passed the next three years before stumbling once more in 1964 when she failed all four subjects again. In 1965 she repeated those same four subjects but ended up failing three of them. The university had a rule at the time that a student had to show cause why he or she should be allowed to repeat for a third time. Bronwyn Setright was deemed ineligible to continue.”

    Leser added: “After leaving Sydney University, Bishop had used the 11 subjects she did pass as credits for the Solicitors’ Admission Board, completed her articles and was admitted to practice in 1967.”

    One source reports that Old Kero inveigled herself onto the organising committee of the law school reunion dinners that are held every 10 years for those who graduated the year she should have, if she hadn’t got married, or missed a few subjects – or whatever.

    1. What a pity the pond's brief doesn't allow the Gadfly to intrude on the world of Murochophobia, but thanks for reminding us there's sanity to be found elsewhere.

  3. Ms Pond
    Ah, St Crispin and Agincourt, 600 years ago this October 25 We should celibrate by giving the archer's two finger salute to that "Band of Brothers" over at Murdoch central.

    1. The pond's love of Larry (and Bill too) knows no bounds.

  4. Here's the perfect guide to social etiquette for Bronny - Hyacinth Bucket's Book of Better Class British Cookery.

    "I placed a small, elegant, and tasteful advert in our local paper: Scintillating Socializing. I myself being the Senior Soiree Staff Supervisor of course. My first clients were twenty people all wanting to improve their social graces. They invited me to bring my own music. I went off to organise their requirements with high hopes, but it seems they’d misread my advert. Apparently, they'd expected some other sort of entertainment. But there’s no need to go into details here about that.

    The best of it is that's what decided me to write HYACINTH BUCKET’S BOOK OF BETTER-CLASS BRITISH COOKERY (For the Socially Unfortunate). It’s so much safer, writing a book. I expect I shall become the Barbara Cartland of the West Midlands Social Circuit Scene!"

    1. It is brilliant piece of subtle social satire and could have been written just for Bronny!

      "For a home to be a centre of culture and taste, the persons who live there must have an innate sense of style, like myself. As the Lady of the House, I am proud to say I have inherited my gracious good taste and artistic ability very naturally. My father was once a power in painting-by-numbers circles."

    2. A joyous read and handy on every level, but not enough on the etiquette of travelling! Please allow the pond to commend Debretts:

      Always bear in mind Mark Twain's observation, 'I have found that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them'. Travelling with even your greatest friend or lover can place unexpected strains on the relationship, largely avoided if you adhere even more scrupulously than usual to the rules of living together.

      Little things like keeping your living space tidy and clean, sticking to joint plans, making sure you're as punctual as possible, adhering to an agreed budget - these tiny observances can make or break your travelling experience.

      - See more at:

    3. Subtle? Hmmmmm….

  5. Rat catching - Kenny

    The word "ratbag" itself has gone through several changes. Once a pejorative term for rogue or rascal, some think it derives from the obsolete expression to "get a rat", meaning to have a wild idea. Just as the word "larrikin" journeyed from being a lout who deserved stringing up to an affectionate name for Bob Hawke, over the years ratbag too has morphed into a term of endearment, shorthand for those who challenge conformity. Kenny, endearing? Yet... "They are defined by their firm belief that they alone are right," Dunstan says. Death of the ratbag.

    Ratbag not a nice person
    Ratbag Rogue - rascal - insult - obnoxious or untrustworthy person.
    ratbag adjective: A ratbag is a contemptible, obnoxious or untrustworthy person, on the eccentric side, who behaves improperly, or any combination of the above.

    a despicable, disreputable or obnoxious person. This term of abuse originated in Australia... 1960s Hancock’s Half Hour.. In Australia it often denotes an eccentric.

    Perves, greenies, and ratbags

    chiefly Australian: a stupid, eccentric, or disagreeable person.

    Orc and dog progeny? C Kenny x C familiaris? Explains a lot.

    An Authority, and Suggested Synonyms:

    Loon Pond ; ratbag
    ratbag n. Australian slang: An eccentric, crank, fanatic

    1: lout, idler. 3 a : a crazy person, b : simpleton
    Origin of LOON Middle English loun First Known Use: 15th century

    slang : a stupid, worthless, or unattractive person
    Yiddish zhlob, zhlub yokel, boor
    First Known Use: 1950

    Here we go.
    archaic : blockhead, fool
    origin unknown
    First Known Use: 1553

    1. 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. - The Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll

      JABBER: The Jabberwocky Engine
      "Such is Human Perversity". - Carroll

      Another Donovan take? The Walrus and the Carpenter

    2. Hi Anon,

      What is fascinating about Jabberwocky is although many of the words are nonsensical, the poem is understandable. Many of the made up words are alliterative or are based on Anglo-Saxon roots and English syntax is observed.

      Amazingly the poem has been translated into many different languages which is extraordinary as the results are often completely different to the original "English" version.

      This piece;

      And the Douglas Hofstadter essay it links to, point to something fundamental in human languages that we can understand the meaning even when the words have no definition.


  6. Please don't forget rapscallion, as in that dunderhead scoundrel fed me such a slumgullion sludge of pseudo-science - though seeing the ragamuffin's tatterdemalion arguments, I should have given the knave and varlet a touch up with the old swagger stick for being such a rascally scallywag.

    That said, the pond treasures your words and considers all of them useful and applicable, for there are ratbags to be treasured, and then there are simply ratbags, and then there are even TV shows much improved by everyone slipping a brown paper bag over their heads ...

  7. If you can bear it, DP, tune in to next Monday's QandA. It has a very sciencey line-up, not least is Ranjana Srivastava an oncologist, author and excellent person. Though, if the moderator is Jolly Ginny I may have to avert my gaze at times.
    On the down side, if half the audience is not made up of Dominionists, tobacco lobbyists and AGW-deniers, the ABC will find itself in the gun for fronting another "unbalanced" program.

    1. The pond couldn't take that UC, in all honesty there's just no way to take it. Another example of arguing the controversy when you'd be better off reading what Ranjana Srivastava has to say at her website.


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