Saturday, August 08, 2015

In which the pigs and the reptiles take a business class seat back to the 1950s ...

(Above: more priceless Pope here, though it should be noted that his portrait of Greg Hunt as a Kermit sock puppet is very cruel to Kermit and to sock puppets in general. Who hasn't enjoyed playing with a sock puppet as a child; why shouldn't a PM act in a childish way?)

Bizarre spectacles #1: Rowan Dean on The Drum demanding that Tony Burke resign and/or Bronwyn Bishop be reinstated, followed by Jack the Insider noting that would bringing Bronnie back would be a coup up there with knighting Prince Philip. Actually it would be up there with Frankenstein's monster coming to life ...

And so the sad spectacle of the ABC continues, with ranting twits like Dean routinely invited on to offer bizarre spectacles ... because, you see, Dean had lathered himself up into such a welter, a sweat of indignation that he actually sounded serious about the need for Bronnie to return. That's beyond the valley of the dummies where Dean lives ...

Meanwhile, we now understand why the poodle was so keen to protect Tony Burke and spare him from the harsh glare of publicity:

Parliamentary documents show [Education Minister Christopher Pyne] claimed taxpayer-funded business-class flights for three family members from Adelaide to Sydney on Boxing Day 2009, returning six days later, at a cost of $3843… 
While staying in Sydney at taxpayers’ expense, Mr Pyne filed an article to The Advertiser newspaper in Adelaide that mocked “jolly big spending” and criticised Labor government spending decisions while ordinary families struggled with the cost of living. 
 “My family and many others will tighten our belts through January,” Mr Pyne wrote. “Yet … the federal government is still expanding fiscal policy."… 
Mr Pyne told The Weekend Australian he held a “planning day” during the Sydney trip in 2009 to talk to Tony Abbott, who then was opposition leader. (the reptiles of Oz)

There's more at L'Age here, along with a forced video and a Tanberg cartoon:

Put it another way:

Twelve parliamentarians were filling out their entitlements claim, and they were all alike. No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which. (And the rest of the book here).

And now Abbott has lifted his Q and A ban, the pond is even more determined to maintain its ban on the show, a ban it has proudly maintained for years.

Meanwhile ...

Oh dear, there seems to be a few blanks in the splash, but surely it's about time to review the Captain and his notoriously inept picks.

Meanwhile, over at the Terror:

Not as much gloom at the pond Mr Oakes at the thought of having to keep an eye on a man who exemplifies the Peter principle ...

Luckily, as always, at a time of peak emergency, the lizards of Oz are on hand to make a penetrating and thoughtful analysis.

First a mood-setting cartoon:

And now on with the stone-throwing - remember a stone to the temple is a good way to start the job, and then the fun can be completed at leisure:

Yes, the reptiles are recycling Freedom Boy recycling Freedom Boy and the Pompous Old Fart Known As Kelly.

Won't someone think of the children and the bigoted religious folk who just want the right to be bigoted in peace ...

But hark, what is this?

Is Freedom Boy actually a covert operative for Operation Trojan House, being mounted by the United Order of Oddfellow Anti-religious Secularists, a potent movement which the pond understands began in Tamworth, centre of the known universe, and now has chapters in every city and town in the land?

What happens if people take up the offer, and decide to get rid of the religious service? After all, they only have to score a marriage license for a legitimate fuck, so why not do it in a park? What if goths take to getting hitched in cemeteries?

What if people begin to wonder why cults are subsidised by the taxpayer, and indeed have money shoved down their throats by the federal government, helping maintain Christian, Islamic, Hindu and Scientological fundamentalist in the land? Is there a taxpayer-funded chaplain in the house?

Why it would be a triumph for the UOOOARS team ...

Meanwhile, isn't it wonderful to see all this hand-wringing and fright-making and terribly decent consideration for the feelings of religious bigots who for centuries have ritually assigned gays to the enduring torment of hell, which lasts usually until the twelfth of never ...

As for reprinting Freedom Boy's actual thoughts, the pond will settle for the reptiles' regurgitated summary. Frankly we'd be better off reprinting Sherlock Holmes' most useful monograph on dung and cigarette ash ...

No doubt the reptiles and Freedom Boy think they've discovered a clever solution that will appeal to all, and might even make Abbott change his mind, which shows how silly they are. Bigots are not for turning, and if nothing else, when it comes to being stubborn, Abbott has shown a Bronnie-like power to cling to his world view and his favourite notions ... so it's off to hell for the wicked sinners.

And so to some weekend reading for the strong of stomach (if you can read the reptiles, you qualify):

Equiped with a style that could have played well in Mad or even Playboy, Hafer was the right-wing's Jack Davis: a man who could, and did, lampoon any chosen target of what one could tent together as "Republican Interests". Gays, Hippies, Abortion, Ted Kennedy, the National Education Association, all sorts of terrible demons. But for everything he hated, he sure seemed fixated on talking -at length- about the nasty stuff. What would a psychologist say? 
We decided to jump right off with his most offensive work. But it's great reading too, obsessed with sodomy, urine, masturbation, all the x-rated ideas. But be forewarned: These comics were not intended for you. No. In the world of pitching and catching, this is something intended for the other team. Reading these pages is like jumping into a bizarro world of bent pent-up pop-culture where the wrong is right, the shirt and haircut doesn't match, and most of the food shopping is done in bulk through QVC. Full of religious radio, weekly gun rallies, dittoheads, the 700 club, casserole potlucks ... There are tops and bottoms to this discussion, clearly, and this comic was intended for the humans over the homos. We can't even type the title of what we're about to present without laughing a bit. But that's what Hafer fans lovingly refer to as "that ol' dick magic". Dick Hafer really was that sort of an asshole. Anyway...

Why its just like reading the Weekend Oz, and yes, Dick Hafer had a tidy career peddling hate, fear and division, and the need to separate out teh gays, but anyway, if you follow the link, here, you get more of this:

That was from 1986, and to end on a light note, that reminded the pond of something altogether different, from the newspaper archives for December 1985:

Isn't it charming? The monorail will take us into the 21st century ... where there'll be no monorail, and we'll still be stuck in the 1950s with the fundamentalist Abbott and the lizards of Oz.

If you want it in readable form, this link takes you to the front page, and you can then scroll through to page 15 ...


  1. A fine Saturday spray, DP, but there's one point that I think needs clarification. Unlike Dick Hafer (or the equally vile Jack Chick) Jack Davis himself is no right-wing nutjob; rather he's been one of America's best-known cartoonists and comic book artists for several decades, and is about the last survivor of the classic "MAD" magazine contributors (from back when the magazine was actually something worthwhile) and the wonderful line EC horror, crime and science fiction comics that preceded MAD. He's recently announced that he's retiring, at the age of 90. You can Greg Hunt him here:

    Sorry to be a pedant, but I'd hate to see a classic cartoonist accidentally lumped in with genuine garbage!

    1. Ms Pond
      Back then, in the mid '50s, we were forbidden from reading "MAD" as it was "Communist Propaganda".
      We managed to read copies liberated from the local newsagent as we smoked rollies made from dried Coral Tree (Erythrina crista-galli) leaves.

  2. A la mode, the Santa Principle - infiltrate and destroy from within - coming down the chimney promising presents, spreading fud and soot, and delivering only lumps of coal.

    1. Hey, show some empathy there: once upon a time, "the poors" really needed their free Christmas coal. Just ask Scrooge.

  3. Here's something you might enjoy DP. A video on the evils of masturbation - in sign language! Courtesy of the Jehovah's Witnesses.

    1. Excellent and the pond did enjoy it, though we didn't make it to the happy ending.

      It's up there with the Mormons revealing their magic rock and worthy of a Sunday meditation


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