Wednesday, August 12, 2015

In which the dog botherer celebrates an historic, landmark initiative ...

It takes a special class of hack, a poule de luxe if you will, to salvage victory from the jaws of defeat, and policy triumphs from what is construed by some as a tawdry example of Dr. No at work.

No better, more diligent effort comes to the pond's mind than the latest outing of the dog botherer, the exemplary and studious CK.

Now before you laugh out loud with glee, Mr Kenny is busy celebrating Tony Abbott's landmark gay marriage move because Mr Abbott is just so into the gay. As the very same digital page of the lizard Oz clearly indicated:

Yes there's a man intent on a landmark gay marriage move, but what's most poignant is the dog botherer's explanation of why the valiant warrior made his momentous, historic landmark move:

Yes, it's terribly important to keep election promises:

And so on and tediously on, but uh huh, please do go on just as tediously:

Yes everyone should be celebrating. There should be dancing in the streets. Oxford street should grind to a halt as people join together to celebrate this landmark initiative.

And the news that Abbott has decided to save money and hold the referendum with the general election just shows his keen, astute determination to be abstemious while ramming his policy triumph home.

What's that you say? It's sometime in the maybe never after that, who knows when?

Fancy that, and it seems that in his haste the dog botherer has determined that the initiative must be a referendum rather than a plebiscite, which will no doubt please his master, given the higher chance of failure a referendum would offer ...

Never leave home without the dab constitutional lawyer skills of CK:

Indeed, indeed. Despite the will of the people expressed in a plebiscite, who'd expect any politician to carry out the instruction. Remember all those broken promises of the long forgotten Abbott government?

Of course one plebiscite - the national song - passed, and the others were to do with conscription in the first world war, where the right outcome passed, while of the 19 referendums proposing 44 changes, only 8 changes have passed in the history of federation because of the difficulty of carrying all states - you can find a list for your amusement here, and a wiki here.

And that's the last hope, the final line in the sand, for the derailing Dr. No.

A vicious hate campaign, demonisation of gays, a state not carried, the motion lost, why it's the perfect strategy, and the likes of the attack dogs, the Cory Bernardi's of the world are salivating at the thought of lumping gays in with halal ...

Strangely some of the punters weren't on board with the landmark innovative strategy, but again dog bothering CK had all the answers:

Indeed, indeed Veronica, won't someone think of the children, and in cases of bestiality, the dogs ... there's far too much dog bothering going on, just ask Cory!

Indeed, indeed, and so we now may all march forward into history knowing that we can celebrate Tony Abbott as Australia's father of gay marriage ...

As you might expect, his crusade is no doubt the result of his keen awareness of the barbs that can be directed at the bastard child of unholy marriage, as you might expect of the progeny of John Howard and Bronwyn Bishop, in a purely spiritual, Holy Ghost sort of way, the pond hastens to add ...

Now here's a special treat for Mr Kenny for his valiant, hagiographical forelock-tugging effort ...

Well it should keep him away from his dog bothering duties for a little while ...


  1. @nofibs has picked out some superb captions by @qldaah, including that one of the boy Hhhhunt screeching from the DT.

  2. Fuck off Chris Kenny, nobody cares what your personal view is. You're a damn journalist.


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