Friday, August 21, 2015

As the reptiles keep on kicking the can down the road to Canning ...

Not that the pond cares what happens, but Rebecca Wilson should surely win the Chairman Rupert award for lickspittle forelock tugging, which the pond understands is the monthly prize for the most servile story designed to serve the Chairman's business interests. 

Apparently the prize is a year's supply of kool aid.

There was vigorous competition for the prize.

Nice try Darren, better luck next month, but please reptiles, keep those stories running about how wonderful and awesome the AFL is, and how wicked the filthy, vile, dissembling, deceiving NRL is.

The pond assures you no one at all will notice the confusion of editorial copy with the Chairman's interests. Who'd guess the monumentally loss-making Seven, the totally desperate Foxtel contemplating a cable-cutting future, and an equally desperate Nine are finding ways to piss huge amounts of money against the wall (Fairfax that story here).

And speaking of sport, the pond was entranced by this ten flag salute. So many flags, there must be a patriot coming ...

Well that's enough of sport, and the pond must apologise for using that old Tamworth saying about pissing against the wall, not because of its masculinist tendencies but because it's time for the pond to have its mouth washed out.

Yes the stenographer is deeply troubled by cuss words and cussing:

Fuck the pond dead, it's the fucking useless Sharri, still sounding like a prim Calvinist stenographer with a skirt below the ankles  ...

Never mind, because there's ongoing mayhem in reptile la la land.

This was the latest effort by Troy:

Who'd have thought the unions might try to get rid of Tony? But the cheeky things were out and about, laughing at and mocking poor old Troy:

Frankly the pond can't compete with this level of comedy. It's too rich ...

And there were other matters that attracted attention:

Which led to even more comedy:

Other things were also bubbling along nicely. The pond doesn't often reference Crikey, but this was a good one.

Meanwhile, the Abbott government is continuing with the folly, and making lots of people, including farmers, nervous.

How desperate is it getting in reptile la la land? Well this was a doozy ...

Uh huh. Will it inquire into why the Murdoch commentariat, the poodle, das Abbott, and many others were constantly celebrating Jackson as a revolutionary lion and whistleblower, long after the rumours began to circulate?

Meanwhile the schizophrenia in the reptiles continues.

On the one hand, the bouffant one has rediscovered his mojo, courtesy of war mongering:

But at the same time, the reptiles can't help themselves. It's not just Fairfax prone to discussing what's been going down in cabinet:

Which brings the pond to the ongoing saga of in-house feuding, Icelandic or at least Viking in strength and style, as we keep on with the series "let's kick the can and das Abbott down the road to Canning":

Yep, even the reptiles can't resist a snigger. What a lovely line, and please allow the pond to paraphrase:

Overlooking his own role in the Godwin Grech affair, Erica wondered aloud why anyone would listen to a leaker. 

Thereby pointing to the bigger mystery, which is why anyone would listen to Erica.

And how tragic is that the best effort the hive mind of cabinet could come up with was to create a lot of empty noise about vigilantism?

Is that all the busy bees could do? Parrot the latest folly from Das Abbott's office? Is there a monthly kool aid prize for the players in cabinet?

But please, do go on, because we haven't yet kicked the can and Das Abbott down to Canning:

Now presumably, unless Mr Crowe is delusional, and has imaginary friends ... or, after all that tough talk by Das Abbott and Erica, the cabinet room continues to leak like a sieve, and Abbott's ministers are regularly debriefing any journalists within earshot, Fairfaxians and reptiles alike. Or maybe the reptiles are just copying their homework from the Fairfax leakers ...

Whatever, the news from the Titanic's bridge continues apace, and the scuttle butt is rarely flattering.

Sure, Crowe might attempt to redeem his perfidy by celebrating Das Abbott's "strong rebounding" thanks to Das Abbott evoking racism - now there's pure comedy gold - and coal, coal, coal for Australia and the woorrrld and such like - but then he spoils it all by the evoking of the way that can is still being steadily kicked down the road to Canning ...

And what about the illustration that accompanied the story?

A drowning man searching for a Houdini solution.

And what about the Kudelka cartoon also featured by the reptiles?

It's reached the stage of what the pond was taught was a cascade gag. You get one line, and then more lines keep the joke cascading on forever ...

But as usual, it's the cascading Papist who takes the cake.

And it's a joke which somehow manages to bring together the latest story about fornicators, deceivers and adulterers, and Crowe's story celebrating the secretive, the furtive and the delusional (and as always, more communion with the Pope - bring wafers and wine for blessing - is available here).

Yes, everything's going exceptionally well ... as the reptiles kick the can down the road to Canning ... at which point the reptiles will have to forget the Chairman's business interests and do their best to save the Titanic. Fucking oath, eh sensitive stenographer Sharri?


  1. From memory, Rebecca Wilson's partner is former senior News Corp executive John Hartigan. The reptiles do seem to like to keep things in-house.

    I notice that the reptiles also now have it as an article of faith that the polls indicate strong public support for a popular vote on same-sex marriage. The only specific poll they've cited - some days ago - turned out to have been commissioned by the Australian Christian Lobby, and wasn't conducted by any of the major polling companies. But hey, that good enough for the reptiles to use as a basis for generalisation........

  2. The stenographer is having a hot spot at present - Monday she was listing what Rupes eats at lunch, and by mid-week she's taking the dog botherer's tips to chase down a feminist who - shock! horror! is furious at the patronising bullshit from well-fed white men opinionators.

    Next thing you know someone's going to tell us that the Unions don't like the LNP.

    Truly, has the MSM ever been sharper or wiser than it is in the Catholic Boy's Daily at present?

  3. Coming Soon to a Cinema Near You

    Wag the Dog Too: Mission Creep and the Loaded Buy-Election.

    1. ... hilarious screenplay by the tight writing team of other great COALition classic motion picture hits himself.


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