Sunday, August 09, 2015

A headline browsing meditative Sunday with one Captain gone and another starting to resemble the Cheshire Cat ...

There's nothing like a superficial browsing of the headlines on a meditative Sunday to bring heartache and joy.

Some things are ticking over nicely:

The age of entitlement, it's alive!

And of course Miranda the Devine, who hasn't exactly been high profile on other rorting, jumped into the fray:

If she'd been half-way balanced, she could have flung jolly Joe into the stew. But then the pond expects this sort of hypocrisy for the Devine:

The rank and routine rorting by both sides of the house has left some commentariat reptiles so bemused and befuddled that they've gone even more bonkers than usual:

Tony Abbott apologise for the systemic abuse of the misnamed entitlement scheme by Coalition figures?

The pond wants some of what Akker Dakker's on, providing it doesn't involve snorting through a straw.

But speaking of the great man, how's he travelling?

Oh dear, the poor thing's sinking. And the pond just had to note the ex-MPs wanting more cash in the paw, three Labor, one Liberal, Barry Cohen amongst them. No grace, none at all ...

The pond was startled to see the impact on Abbott's reputation.

After all, he and his team exude sympathetic awareness and understanding ... like how it would feel to cop a text sacking at midnight ...

Oh dear, Erica the tactful one. Frei von Arbeit endlich Glück Arbeitnehmer!

One captain gone, and another captain dead in the water, but with no-one prepared to pull the plug ...

But enough of the superficial survey, because it's time to get down to brass tacks, and do the hard yards.

Today the Über-reptile himself has delivered a weighty tome courtesy the Sunday Terrorists:

The pond knew it would be good for a laugh, and sure enough it was:

Not a great set of comedy stylings, but the pond just loved "as befits a conservation-minded government", which scored a big laugh.

Why did his office bother to put this waffle out?

He's not going to convince greenies, environmentalists, or even open-minded middle of the road types. The faithful might think Abbott is conservation-minded, but they'd be the ones so deluded that they support Abbott in anything. Hard-headed Abbott supporters don't care a fig for anyone with a conservation-minded attitude.

The pond decided it was that political staple, ritual lying.

A form of words that's economical with the truth, but which strings together platitudes and cliches, blames rivals, dissembles and distorts, boasts of success in an area in which the politician's party has been churlish, surly and reluctant, and so suddenly everything is made to seem alright.

It's about the first time the pond has heard of the Green Army in yonks, and it shows just how desperate this comedian is for new material.

The rest was pretty much the same sort of old lines you'd expect from a Bob Hope or a Sid Caesar. Have we rolled out the carbon tax for a laugh yet?

Well it's a laugh if it's a line about lower electricity prices, since the pond has direct, irrefutable comparative proof between this and last year that its electricity price has gone up, and substantially:

Still banging on about invisible savings? Beyond the valley of the pathetic and desperate.

Why did he bother?

The pond suspects that, just like Bronnie, her love child doesn't yet understand that his goose is cooked, he's a dead duck, he's a goner, he just might hang around some more like the Cheshire Cat, but he's done and dusted, a rooster turned feather duster and ready to hang in the cupboard ...

Why it was only yesterday that he was showing his real feelings about the environment.

Yep, it was coal, coal, coal for Australia and the wooorrrrld ...

The reptiles splashed it on the front page, and made a big hoopla about it in the digital edition:

Now that's comedy gold. Coal is invariably much better for the environment than the alternative.

That line - as bald and as silly as his line in the Terror outing - is so monstrously stupid you could fit it into a Jerry Lewis movie or a Dumb and Dumber sequel. Yet on and on he rambled, while even the bankers were walking away ...

Of course both sides are still going all the way with coal ...

Which brings us back to that perplexing question ...

Why did Abbott trot out the farcical, hugely funny line about being a conservation-minded government .... while heading a government which routinely demonises conservationists, solar energy, wind turbines, renewal energy in general, courts that read the actual legislation, and in the process manages to upset and alienate naturally conservative figures, such as lawyers, who see their institutions being trashed in the campaign for coal, coal, coal for Australia and the wooorrld ....

Well if you contemplate the mystery enough, you might achieve enlightenment. The pond will settle for the laughs ...

Which is why the pond cheerfully re-runs this Pope for those who missed it, with a reminder that there's a lot more Pope here as an aid to Sunday meditation ...


  1. The joke being circulated about it being "so cold in Canberra, I even the politicians have their hands in their pockets" is an old Bob Hope one-liner.

    Pollies were a favourite target for him.

    "It gave dirty politics a bad name." –On the Watergate affair

    "I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money." –On touring the U.S. Treasury

    "I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support."

    1. Got it wrong. Should be "It's so cold in Canberra, the politicians have their hands in their own pockets"

  2. "Tony Abbott has confirmed that his government has abandoned its longstanding policy to reduce Australia's emissions by between 5% and 25% of 2000 levels by 2020 – a crucial and internationally scrutinised goal that had retained bipartisan support since 2009, throughout Australia's tumultuous political debate over climate policy."

  3. The question "Is it too late for Abbott to praise Trump?" has been put elsewhere. Let's see if it gets up. Of course, Abbott posing with Michael ("It's the right time to go") Clarke is right off the bill.

    1. On sledging prowess, Trump would make an excellent captain of any Oz team. On flat-out lying & dissembling, he'd be an ornament to Liberal Party.

  4. Groucho on Tony Abbott.

    “He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

  5. First, and every, answer to questions put to Josh Frydenberg on tomorrow's QandA - "The PM has my full support."
    Who's a pretty boy?
    But, at least Josh will be able to tell us why the Iran Nuke Deal is all wrong, and thus why Obama is a triple Fail.

    1. Josh has his instructions from Roop "Congratulations to Sen Chuck Schumer on brave, principled opposition to dangerous Iran deal. Hope he persuades others."


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