Friday, May 08, 2015

In which the pond attempts a Nellie Melba ...

In short, this was going to be a thank you for all the kind words left on site, and a signing off, with a note that the pond wasn't up to doing more farewells than Nellie Melba, who notoriously managed a four year farewell tour.

But what do you know?

There came the earth-shattering news that the UN international conspiracy involving black helicopters and climate science had reached a startling new level.

This is devastating stuff, the sort of thing the pond really can't overlook:

What is it possible to say about a newspaper that purports to be the heart of the nation, the country's leading and only remaining broadsheet, that it should publish this sort of stuff?

What does it say about Tony Abbott that he would give credibility to this sort of paranoia by having the writer in a leading advisory position?

Well let's not dilly dally, let's cut to the chase:

Yep, there it is. Roll that around on the tongue with relish:

Figueres is on record saying democracy is a poor political system for fighting global warming. Communist China, she says, is the best model. This is not about facts or logic. It’s about a new world order under the control of the UN. It is opposed to capitalism and freedom and has made environmental catastrophism a household topic to achieve its objective.

This isn't about facts or logic? Well even a broken clock will get it right a couple of times over 24 hours.

Communist China is under the control of the UN? And so is Vlad Putin's Russia?  By golly, that's as good a conspiracy as the pond has come across in recent years ...

But wait, there's more:

What to say? What can you say to the barking mad?

More to the point, has Chris Mitchell no shame? Does he really have no regard for Moorice, that he should let him rant and froth and foam like this in public, like some twin towers conspiracy theorist?

Ah well, it suddenly made the pond feel quite good, which in these current difficult times isn't that easy.

So here's a recipe for Peach Melba, and the immortal Dame herself, and many thanks to all those who scribbled a few kind words. They were really appreciated. The pond might now be intermittent, but so long as the Moorices of the world keep squawking, there's much still to celebrate.


  1. Saved by the Belle.

    Thanks for the return bout.

    Take it easy, though. The crazies aren't going anywhere.

    1. I'll second that Anon: I will be ringing a couple of politicians offices to see if they are inclined to actually have the guts to question Abbott and Hunt about the actual mental state of Newman,among a couple of other things.
      As for Mitchell,DP, he probably stands by the old adage of Never give a mug an even break.He works with folk far more important than Moorice and feels that as long as the story is told,all is fine. There are plenty of Moorices in this world.
      Take care DP.

  2. My best wishes to the wonderful DP.

  3. Shows how little Moorice really knows. In fact, the malign forces behind global warming are the illuminati/lizard people/Rothschilds/British Royal Family!!!!!!!!!!
    I think this has been published to deflect attention from the real story.

  4. I have for a long time maintained that a hearty laugh is created in that no-man's land between the segue from pathos to bathos..Maurice's pendulum-swing between those two "geographic" locations supplies us with enough material for a whole comedy convention!...why stop at "business adviser", why not minister for the enviroment?..oh wait, another comedic thespian works that side of the street!

  5. Thanks DP.
    Moorice is mad, mad,
    and ripe for "sectioning".

  6. Ha! HA!
    Couldn't lie down, ay?
    Take a tip. Do over just one of those cranks, each day it takes your fancy. ... OoooKay, then. Like, yeah, today.
    Maybe Newman is there only to make Lomborg look good. OK, so Bjorn is a very attractive young man?

  7. O yeah, on telegenic blondes, how about Ms Bickmore as mascot for a disease?
    This Amy Schumer sketch perfectly captures the way men talking about women sounds to women could apply.

  8. To welcome your return, DP, I give you good tidings

    "I have today spoken to the Federal Government and Bjorn Lomborg advising them of the barriers that currently exist to the creation of the Centre and the University’s decision to cancel the contract and return the money to the government."

    Yours sincerely

    Paul Johnson

    Vice Chancellor

    1. I think 'Uncut Cash' might be right, Dot. Just skewer the occasional nutjob, and let your loyal followers do the rest in the comments section.

  9. Miss Parker,

    As far as moi is concerned, please Nellie Melba whenever you feel so inclined.

    V good to read you again.

  10. I was so happy to see Loon Pond in my inbox this evening. I suppose even Maurice Newman has his 'raisin for being'. What a strange feeling....
    Take care, DP - lots of loons thinking of you xx

  11. So glad to see you about, even if it's just a fleeting visit. Perhaps we ought to be grateful to Maurice's madness for bringing you out in the sunshine for a while. Maybe Abbott will give him a knighthood in gratitude.

  12. Goodterseeya
    Take care.

  13. Bernard KeaneVerified account ‏@BernardKeane

    Chris any truth to the rumour you've offered Ann Bressington $2m to be the inaugural Maurice Newman professor of Chemtrails Studies? @cpyne
    5:11 AM - 8 May 2015

    Christopher Pyne ‏@cpyne 9h9 hours ago
    @BernardKeane aren't you a journalist? Doesn't that mean being objective?

    5:29 AM - 8 May 2015 • Details

    Bernard Keane ‏@BernardKeane 9h9 hours ago
    .@cpyne aren't you a minister? Doesn't that mean being vaguely competent?

    5:31 AM - 8 May 2015 • Details

    Ouch! must have hurt. No response from Poodle.

  14. Newmans trying to do a combover of the facts and the result is about as convincing as his own tonsorial efforts..
    his missus should be arrested for allowing him to leave the house coiffed up....

  15. Dorothy Parker,
    Thank you.
    You regularly ingest the toxic scats and regurgitations of malicious reptiles, drawing out much of the venom and bile, then present such, prophlactically wrapped, for public perusal and education, with diminished risk to our collective health.
    This must take it's toll on you.
    I shall miss the regularity of dips in the pond, but I do not in any way begrudge you taking leave of absence from such a distasteful and risky undertaking.
    Take care and be well.
    Corvus boreus.

  16. Oh Maurice, go on. Make it "97% of climate change models" - you know, for 'balance.'

  17. Great to come across you this Saturday morning DP. I had almost reached the bottom, but now are rejuvenated for a few more days. Best wishes again.

  18. Good to see you back DP. Take care and get well soon.

  19. My very best wishes, and hopes that you recover. Your sterling and scathing analyses of the media/political circuses do much to alleviate the trauma of existing in the same space. You are unique. (note: not 'quite unique'.

  20. Wishing you a speedy recovery

  21. Hi Dorothy,

    Lynton Crosby has waged a successful campaign of Fear, Uncertainity and Doubt in the UK and the Tories have managed to eventually get a majority. They will now claim the mythical mighty power of "mandate" and will reek their vengence on uppity tartan wearers and associated northern slackers with cries of "Austerity for ever" and "All power to the Stock market" coupled with a wonderful house price bubble in London and the South East of England.

    How long before Chairman Rupert slouches into Number Ten and demands his reward (probably full control of BSkyB and swingeing cuts to the BBC) as his reward for his publications bias.

    Anyway let's see what Rowson makes of the result;

    Get strong Dorothy because Crosby and his Filipino porn watching mate Textor will be back now doubling down on trying to sell Abbott and his travelling circus as a viable form of governance??!!?


  22. Moorice, after first insulfating his own steadying Q-balls sure laid down some lines up there. Amongst it all he snorted: "In other words, the real agenda is concentrated political authority." He sees the conspiracy. He's onto 'em.

    Moorice, Wolf of Capital Circle, would be only too aware that this sort of thing has been going on for quite some time. One example he's no doubt monitoring for Tones is that of the Yassa, the secret written code of law created by Genghis Khan...

    11.Forbidden, to cut the throats of animals slain for food; When an animal is to be eaten, its feet must be tied, its belly ripped open and its heart squeezed in the hand until the animal dies; then its meat may be eaten; but if anyone slaughter an animal after the Mohammedan fashion, he is to be himself slaughtered. {al-Makrizi} Women were not supposed to slaughter animals this way, possibly due to being weaker, there is no prohibition in the Yassa.]

    22.It is forbidden to bathe or wash garments in running water during thunder
    (obvious "environmental catastrophism" scaremongering).

    26.Urinating in water or ashes is punishable by death. [al-Makrizi]

    27.It was forbidden to wash clothing until completely worn out. [al-Makrizi]...

    Hard neoliberal partying and any subsequent Quaalude induced delirium aside, Moorice may have sniffed out an authoritarian conspiracy continuing from those earlier secret laws made for united nations rule that were implemented long ago in both China and Russia.

    How far back does it go?

  23. Please get well soon,we all adore and admire your tenacity and wisdom

  24. Hope you are feeling better soon. Your blog posts are often the first thing opened to help me get through the working day.

  25. Dp - Likewise, I wish you all the best.

    And Anon - thanks for the link to Lassa law. Old Genghis was a mad bloodthirsty bugger but gave rise to one of the greatest civilisations, a near-perfect poem and an Abba song.

  26. Why no mention of the Masons? What has Maurice got to hide?


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