Thursday, January 15, 2015

In which the pond is encouraged by the reptiles to develop a nappy fetish ...

(Above: more Moir here)

It's taking the pond a little time, and a considerable amount of energy, to sink back comfortably into the Murdochian morass, the mugwump swamp of mass hysteria.

Perhaps it's due to that notorious tweet that recently did the rounds.

It said "Maybe most Murdochians peaceful, but until they recognize and destroy their growing fundamentalist conservative climate science denying proto-fascist cancer they must be held responsible".

Naturally there were a few Murdochians who took exception, and so the irresponsible tweeter came up with the perfect rejoinder: "Big Murdochian fundamentalist war mongering climate denying danger looming everywhere from the lizard Oz to BSB to Faux Noise. Political incorrectness makes for denial and hypocrisy and fact-free ranting".

Indeed. And is there anything more nauseating than hypocrisy and self-congratulation in full featherless flight?

So the pond turned to today's reptile editorial in the lizard Oz, and this:

As journalists and editors from Paris and London to New York and Sydney grappled with the decision of whether or not to republish the Charlie Hebdo cartoons, many failed. The absence of their pictures went unjustified in thousands of words of attempted explanation. 

Hang on, hang on. Did the pond miss something? Did the reptiles boldly and bravely decide to re-publish the Danish cartoons re-published by Charlie Hebdo?

And did the reptiles bold and bravely decide to re-publish other Charlie Hebdo cartoons, in brave defiance of Islamic fundamentalists, unlike all the other rags that grappled with the decision and failed, resulting in thousands of words of attempted explanation.

Did Islamics in Australia sit seething and foaming at all the shocking images the reptiles had boldly run in the rag?

After all, there are plenty to be found on the internet, and in this case, claims of intellectual property right might be waived with claims of public interest. The pond has recycled a few in the past:

So what did the preening cocks of the walk at the lizard Oz manage?

In this newspaper, the front page story and photograph supplied by Anthony Klan and James Croucher stood out. Mr Trad’s words and — in this case, even more importantly — his pose with the cover provided a courageous demonstration of the need for Muslim citizens to defend free speech while they condemn the violence that extremists have committed in the name of Islam.

Say what? That's it?

That's what the glory mongers are offering? Just this?

About the most benign cover imaginable, except for it representing the prophet, which is hardly groundbreaking, and nowhere near what Charlie Hebdo routinely got up to ...

And how did the reptiles open their pitch for this bold depiction of the prophet?

The image cut through. A glum-faced man was holding a French magazine cover in front of him with all the enthusiasm some of us might muster for an unwelcome diagnosis or a dirty nappy.

Say what? Holding a dirty nappy is a courageous demonstration?

FFS, reptiles, look before you write, and then look again before you publish.

You simply haven't got the first clue when it comes to self-congratulation and the absurdity of hypocritical contradiction, have you?

How did you manage to leap frog from a dirty nappy to this?

Here was a man who has sometimes been divisive in his public posturing, espousing views with which many Australians and often this newspaper might disagree. Yet he was prepared to pose with the controversial magazine in order to communicate a powerful message to and on behalf of Australia’s Muslim communities that tolerating offence is a precondition for enjoying the benefits of free expression.

Hang on, hang on, he's just holding a nappy:

Next thing the pond will be reduced to making jokes about nappy fetishists.

So who else did the reptiles drag into this self-congratulatory folly?

The Prime Minister noticed The Australian’s front page and cited it as an encouraging sign that Muslim communities are declaring “there is a value in diversity” in the wake of the terrorist atrocities. 

It's an encouraging sign for a man to hold up a nappy without the slightest sign of enthusiasm?

“We do have to adopt this position of live and let live,” Tony Abbott said, adding that he welcomed the “spirit of forgiveness” in the Charlie Hebdo cover image. 

Oh it's too poignant, but why on earth should the pond forgive Tony Abbott?

The leftist satirical magazine’s post-massacre print run of 3 million will see it reach more people than ever before. This, of itself, is a rebuke to the terrorists and can only be strengthened if global commitment to free speech is reaffirmed. The magazine’s content would not be standard fare for many of us — often creating offence where some of us it might see little need — but this discomfort and its very existence have now become symbolic of the uncomfortable essence of free speech. 

Indeed, indeed. And the pond appreciates the offer by the reptiles to apologise for the routine demonisation of the Chaser lads in its pages, by such luminaries as Gerard "prattling Polonius" Henderson, and Chris "the dog man" Kenny, while Chris Kenny's offer to refund the ABC's legal costs are a wonderful symbol of the uncomfortable essence of free speech.

These issues have served, usefully, to revive debate in Australia about section 18C of the Racial Discrimination Act and its heavy-handed objective to legislate away racial offence. We need to be more liberal — more tolerant — than that. While last year the government backed down on its RDA reform plans, a bill will be introduced, regardless, by independent Senators. Given this bill will simply remove the triggers of “insult” and “offend” from the legislation, Mr Abbott ought to embrace the new opportunity for reform. The Prime Minister should ensure that his parliamentarians are able to vote for common sense, free speech and the bigger picture.

Uh huh. So the raving ratbags on the right can go around calling people they don't like nappy holding hos?

And the bigger picture? Like Snowden and Assange and Peter Greste? Yes, all sorts of humbugs turned up in Paris to march, including leaders from Egypt, Turkey, Russia, Algeria and the UAE (Graudian it here).

Which means the Murdochian humbugs are in good company.

Each day the pond steps into Murdoch la la land, it gets weirder and weirder, and nothing has changed since the great pond lacuna and melt down of 2015 ...

But let's not be too hard on the reptiles. This very day they made an astonishing discovery:

Lordy lordy, who'd ever have guessed that the bunkum about two million jobs in a thousand year Abbott Reich turned out to be bunkum.

Let us all bow to the infinite power of investigative Oz reporting.

Of course back in August 2014 you could have indulged in The Conversation's Why Abbott's two million jobs promise isn't as good as it sounds ... or you might just have indulged in a fact check and rolled around on the hearth in mirthless laughter at the blather about new jobs in innovative manufacturing. You know, like the hard work and the mountain of jobs deployed to tackle the business of shipping manufacturing jobs overseas, given the way the canoe builders go about it here.

Which inevitably brings the pond to that rambling old man in Queensland, and this further discovery by the reptiles:

While Australia’s economy grew by 2.7 per cent over the year to September, Queensland’s shrank by 1.8 per cent. The state’s unemployment rate has risen from 5.5 per cent in March 2012 to almost 7 per cent, compared with 6.3 per cent across Australia.

That was buried in a story that began this way:

Yes, after that opener, Adam Creighton then manages to go on, in a singular feat worthy of astonished admiration, to explain how a government that's fucked the economy and stuffed up employment rates is a sounder economic manager than the Labor party, or the parliamentary cat.

The next time the pond wants someone to lift themselves up with their boot laces using a sky hook, we'll be calling Creighton for advice.

But it did draw the pond's attention to another delicious irony, as revealed by the Murdochian outlands rag, the Currish Snail here. Yes, the parrot is squawking:

This puts the pond in the singular position of agreeing with both cockies screeching in the debate. What an incompetent liar and blowhard bully that contemptible northerner is. What an ill-informed, frequently wrong, screeching wicked cocky that preening southerner parrot is ...

Run them both out of town, and enjoy a pineapple in peace ...

But what the pond most loved was that reliable old trope trotted out in service of the deep north, which is to say all the idle chatter about wicked Sydney-based southerners and the joy of being a Queenslander. The pond has said it before, and will say it again, Queenslanders will no doubt get the parochial government they deserve ....

As for NSW? Well the excellent Luke Foley is off to a flying start:

Is there a bonus?

Yep, it seems that in the digital version, the reptiles ran out of steam, and forgot to fill in the blank spaces:

This honest man has nothing to fear, except the empty canvas ...

And presumably whatever Andrew Clennell wrote explaining why the honest man had nothing to fear that disappeared into the digital ether...

But at least the pond can feel the joy of a local connection.

Pissed at the wheel in the pond's turf of Camperdown! Now there's a way to build up an affinity with a state leader.

Why with an anti-gay marriage stance, a Catholic outlook on life, and a policy announcement in favour of gambling mates, the pond is feeling like NSW state Labor is in the very best of hands ...

Or perhaps it would be simpler to apply this cartoon by Cathy Wilcox to the situation.

It could certainly do polly service around the land, from big Mal's NBN to Optus executives (and more Wilcox here):


  1. It's common knowledge, DP, that Roop Hisself elbowed into that line-up alongside Bibi, but the global leftist conspiracy photoshopped him out of it. On that note, DP, I must report a most alarming figment. This very day I walked past a wall full of graffiti, and there, I kid you not, was the outline of a toe - The Prophet's Toe, I'm telling you. Who should I report to - the local imam, AFP, the blonde chick, my shrink? Most people wouldn't give that squiggle a second look, but now that I've named it, I expect a response.

  2. Only The Guardian seems to have reported the growing despair at the Manus refugee prison. 500 on hunger strike, security guards on strike due to not being paid, refugees sewing their lips together, and widespread rumours of another riot, and death threats made against those few who are considering moving into Lorengau where the Australian Government will generously give them $46 a week to live on. And of course Abbott is so committed to free speech that journalists are forbidden from entering the place and some have even had visas refused to keep them out of PNG.

    It's enough to remind you of that great graphic book Maus, by Art Speigelman.

    1. Chillingly the PNG Tok Pisin for prison is Kalabus (from the English Calaboose) which the locals call the refugee detention camp at Manus, which can also be referred to as a Haus Raskol.

    2. One explanation, but not mitigation, is that, like the pond, many find this too appalling to write about. There's not a shred of fun to be derived from contemplating Australia's very own gulag, or the fascist masters of the gulag ...

  3. Dot - did you put your little Archie and Stanley in those die-ah-purrs?

    Very Sumo.

    I have laughed loudly. What pleasure you have placed before me.

    Those nappies with shoulder supports have been placed on my Did You Know list. In coming weeks I shall mine any conversation for an opportunity to raise the matter. No ears will be safe.

    Where on earth do you find such things?

    Yours admiringly

    Miss PP

    1. As always, and as every fetishist appreciates Miss PP, google is your friend. Even the fetish-hardened and devoted pond was astonished to discover that there was a Pinterest dedicated to Historical cloth diapers, but as that site's an image Ponzi scheme, the pond won't link to it ...

  4. Breaking news from The Guardian:

    “The government has shelved its controversial plan to cut Medicare rebates, after facing a political backlash and the likelihood of a Senate defeat.”

    This government is a model of the Dunning Kruger effect: it cannot recognise its ineptitude.

  5. Let’s wait for the used-car salesman’s next move on Medicare

    1. Indeed Anon.
      They will have their pointer fingers pressed to their temples at this very mo, eyes squeezed with concentration as they try to come up with yet another 'clever' plan.
      But more and more of us see them coming now.
      It is almost funny.

  6. Love the classic Imperial Pinless Diaper ad (that's what the cousins call nappies). But did you know that NASA developed the urine collection and transfer assembly, or UCTA, specially for Astronauts? (who often have to sit motionless for hours and also face the challenge of defecation in zero-gravity).

    See, the yanks can deal with shit when they have to. Pity they haven't yet got around to Murdoch.

    1. Zero-gravity pooing! What a challenge.

      Reminds me of the Eagles classic -

      "You can check it out any time you like,
      But it will never leave."

    2. Oh good, 'cause following a big dump NASA is in shit over their heads now.


  7. Rupert Murdoch ✔ @rupertmurdoch

    Maybe most Moslems peaceful, but until they recognize and destroy their growing jihadist cancer they must be held responsible.
    1:07 PM - 10 Jan 2015

    Rupert Murdoch ✔ @rupertmurdoch

    Certainly did not mean all Muslims responsible for Paris attack. But Muslim community must debate and confront extremism.

    Such an old fart and yet doesn’t know the meaning of contradiction.

  8. The dark reptiles from Mordor are of course preaching the line that we are at war with islam.
    Perhaps then we should start calling out the traitors who are, and in some cases (the Bush family) always have been, doing very nicely out of trading with and collaborating with the enemy. Do a search on Murdoch and the Bush family ties with the Saudis and the Carlisle group of companies.
    The Bush family patriarch Prescott did very nicely (thank you very much) out of trading with the Nazis. And to think that one of the members of this pathologically criminal family (Jeb) intends to run for President. He has been neck-deep in criminal activity all of his life, including in the long-ago-forgotten Savings & Loan scandals of the Reagan years.

    1. The shrubs' imperial insider collaborating, trading, presidential dealings ... Their CIA directorial, Saudi, Wahhabi usanal connections have an interesting historical overlap with insider British imperial wheeler dealers, rulers, and MI6. That'd be the Philbys, father and son collaborating, trading, selling out:

      By 1934, in an effort to safeguard the port of Aden, Britain had no fewer than 1,400 "peace treaties" with the various tribal rulers of the hinterlands of what became Yemen. Philby undermined British influence in the region, however, by facilitating the entry of United States commercial interests, followed by a political alliance between the United States and the Saud dynasty.

      In 1936 SOCAL and Texaco pooled their assets together "East of Suez" into what later became ARAMCO (Arabian–American Oil Company). The United States State Department describes ARAMCO as the richest commercial prize in the history of the planet. Philby represented Saudi interests.

      ARAMCO learned from Philby a great deal about Arabia framed in a manner to strike a sympathetic response in the American people. ARAMCO and the CIA at the time were a revolving door for the same personnel. There were no other sources of information about Saudi Arabia available to the American public. It was portrayed as "a mirror image of the Old West, a wide, unfenced land where nature was unsubdued, religion was simple and fundamental, and the law of the gun prevailed—the desert of Arabia, as America's last frontier." Little was said of the fanatical nature of Wahhabism or its dark and bloody excesses.

    2. Hosea 8:7. They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind. The standing grain has no heads; it shall yield no flour, yadda yadda ...


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