Saturday, January 17, 2015

In which the pond discovers a use for patriotic erections ...

(Above: and the full outrageous press release here).

How outrageous, how tedious.

Once again those wretched faux, fake, useless, alleged scientists at NASA and NOAA are at it again, with their perfidious claims and patent exaggerations ...

How dare they.

Already the usual suspects are at it again, spreading these wicked distortions into the wider world, getting the innocent lambs all agitated and alarmed.

Oh yes, you'd expect the Graudian to be at the head of the queue with 2014 officially the hottest year on record:

Look at that wretched illustration.

All this does is create extra work so the world's genuine, elite climate scientists, thankfully gathered together in Murdoch publications. These hard-working overburdened souls will once more have to put their shoulders to the yoke, and explain how the climate is really working.

Why do these wretches want to create all this extra work for the Bolter, Maurice Newman, Lord Monckton, Dame Slap, Cardinal Pell and the hard-working reptiles at the lizard Oz?

Let's face it. The reptiles are right on top of the climate game. They know all that anyone needs to know about the land, EXCLUSIVELY:

Yes, yea verily, see how the desert blooms, and see how the only newspaper to notice was the lizard Oz:

That's why the rag is the weekend newspaper of the year.

Now some wretched cynics - quick, top up their glass of kool aid - might be saying that reports of flooding in South Australia have been doing the rounds for days and days (why even the cardigan wearers noticed it was raining on the plain here) and that this was likely to put a dent in Donald Campbell's latest attempt at the world speed record, but you see all this chit chat ignores the real point of the story.

You see NASA and NOAA wretches, the earth is in the very best shape. Let's not have any idle gossip about extreme weather events.

Instead let's celebrate the way the plentiful, warming and the munificent god is sending down bounteous rain that transforms the earth. Only She can save us ...

What was the usually prescient Pope thinking when he offered up this cartoon? (And more Pope here).

A skull in the dry outback?

Why the great Gaia replenishes herself, and the reptiles don't even have to leave the hot rock to bring the good news.

Carry on as usual, good citizens. Nothing to see here. In due course the Bolter will return, Maurice will pen a piece, the reptiles at the Oz will ignore those fake NASA and NOAA scientists, and all will be well ...

Meanwhile, as the reptiles go about their daily business, they've prepared a lavish and generous feast for the starving readership this weekend, the sort of 'weekend festival of loons' only the country's weekend newspaper of the year could assemble and offer to the world.

The war on Triggs continues at a satisfying pace:

The news from Queensland continues most excellent, and never mind idle chit chat of the kind Galaxy poll shows Labor with a good chance of winning Queensland election:

And the news from Paris is outrageously distorted by the usual suspects:

Yes, you only see the full picture from your inner Sydney city elite eerie.

Oh it's a kornucopia of commentariat views, and thank the long absent lord there are still enough mugs out there willing to fork out a shekel or two to keep them in the lifestyle to which they've long been accustomed.

But perversely, the pond has decided to select a Catholic fundamentalist for kommentariat rant of the day:

Yes, no matter how you cut it or slice it, or present it several ways, there's nothing better than a good old-fashioned rant from a fundamentalist Catholic about the usual suspects:

And so to the cut and thrust, the nub of the argument, and as a community service, the pond feels compelled to present the exemplary logic in full.

First let us remember that the real enemy isn't the fundamentalist Islamics. It's the fundamentalist gays and the abortionists and the wretched elites and those damned progressives and scientists with their jibber jabber about vaccination, persecuting hapless young children with their needles and polio vaccines.

Why the pond can still remember as vividly as the day it happened those bloody doctors giving the pond a little spoonful of strangely tasting liquid, as if it was Jonestown all over again. Oh strange things happened in Tamworth in those days.

Of course the pond didn't end up with polio - the pond can remember the days when there were polio victims, a few of whom, such as Alan Marshall, managed to turn the affliction to good literary ends.

Never mind, it's the business of everyone to stand shoulder to shoulder with the Islamic fundamentalists when it comes to teh gays and such like:

Yes, it's plain nuts, but who will allow the plain nuts to speak? Because if you're plain nuts like Angela Shanahan, of course you're going to have a deep sympathy with other plain nuts. And don't get the pond started on exotic mixed nuts, and the pretensions of cashews, and the outrageous behaviour of walnuts ...

Now let's cut to the real chase, and it's not just the child killers persecuting innocent Kevin Andrews:

Yes, there you go. The real problem is that some people have gone with Islamic fundamentalism, when they should have gone with Catholic fundamentalism.

Don't worry. You can still fuck over teh gays together ...

What's that you say?

The Pope claims he accepts climate scientist, and it doesn't matter two figs about Lake Eyre, or as a few might call it Kati Thanda, doing what it's done for quite a few years whenever there's a heavy rain, and if that's an EXCLUSIVE, why then the pond can EXCLUSIVELY report there's a country music festival going down right this minute in Tamworth ...

Fuckwits and loons to the right and to the left, but on the pond plunges, into the valley with the rest of the five hundred ...

But at least we can take a First Dog cartoon with us ... (and more First Dog here).

Yes, having listened through the monstrous inanity of The World Today's Call for national anthem to be sung every day at noon on Australia Day, the pond was going to give the call a plug, but there's no need to bother when First Dog is on the case.

Patriotic erections? Very handy when it comes to fucking climate science ...


  1. Je Suis Charlie all over Europe but not in Australia. Today's SMH reports here

    “The Press Council has considered whether its Standards of Practice were breached by a cartoon in the Sydney Morning Herald on 26 July 2014…...Accordingly the Council's Standards of Practice were breached on the ground of causing greater offence to readers' sensibilities than was justifiable in the public interest.”


    Because a cartoon “depicted an elderly man with a large nose, wearing the distinctively Jewish head covering called a kippah or yarmulke, and sitting in an armchair emblazoned with the Star of David. He was pointing a TV remote control device at an exploding cityscape, implied to be Gaza.”

    Really? Maybe the Council missed seeing the photos such as this

    The SMH also reports that Peter Dutton “warned a change in minister would not change the circumstances for asylum seekers who attempted to arrive by boat.
    "The absolute resolve of me as the new minister and of the government is to make sure that for those transferrees, they will never arrive in Australia. They will never be settled in Australia," he said.”

    Heartless bastard.

    It truly is a mad, mad, mad world and I want to get off.

  2. There are two ways to behead people according to Mohammed al-Saeedi, a human rights activist: “One way is to inject the prisoner with painkillers to numb the pain and the other is without the painkiller,” he told the Middle East Eye. “This woman was beheaded without painkillers – they wanted to make the pain more powerful for her.”

    “The beheading is part of an alarming trend, which has seen the kingdom execute seven people in the first two weeks of this year. In 2014 the number of executions rose to 87, from 78 in 2013.

    Raif Badawi, the Saudi blogger, was due to receive the second set of 50 lashes today for insulting Islam... He was sentenced to 1,000 lashes and 10 years in prison after creating a liberal, secular website, Free Saudi Liberals. He faces lashings every Friday for the next 18 weeks, until the sentence is completed.”

    But what are a few beheadings here or there to a western nation such as Canada when it comes down to business for business is business, right?. There’s nothing like the mighty dollar to make one turn a blind eye Just ask the Canadian government who has gone to extraordinary lengths to ensure the success of a controversial $15-billion arms deal with Saudi Arabia

    1. And don't forget, Tony Blair shut down an inquiry into alleged bribery from British arms manufacturers to Saudi officials.

      Here's the WSWS take (year I know, but give the old bastards a bit of coverage)...

      You can also find it covered in Private Eye, the pommie equivalent to Charlie Hebdo.

    2. Only two ways? Only 78 - 87? Per year? Trending upwards, so not a bad effort there. But how about clusterbombs, say, giving the neck high chop to far more in less than a second repeated over and over and over in the never to end one-percenters' war on everything, or, say, similar Xtian/Zionist efforts giving that chop to Lebanese or Palestinian children?

    3. The? The Middle East Eye, would that be a look from present Qatar? Or from a jaundiced Emirates' eye? Oh deary me. Surely as it's published and incorporated in England it's a reliable contemporary look abroad from reliable old England, no?

      Brings to mind: "Whole sight; or the rest is desolation." - a sentence said in the Middle East, pre-modern, and, postmodern, also set in England. The opening sentence of John Fowles' novel "Daniel Martin" is also the closing sentence. It's a book closed by the closing sentence of the book within the book "Simon Wolfe" ("S Wolfe", an anagram of Fowles.. go on, do your head in) written in the past by the character Dan - at once an opening sentence, and a death sentence. The book opens on wartime boyhood in rural England and closes with death in Syria. It is a work examining a multiude of opposites, dualisms of all kinds, seeking to exquisitly integrate them all... "Whole sight; or the rest is desolation."

      So, who is it casting a look about from The Middle Eastern Eye? Oh look, there's CJ Werleman! He's your kinda spikey Brendan O'Neill atheist in need of attention.

      What a boofhead needful aussie abroad in the oil rich wonderland of SOCAL he is.

      He's getting all the wrong attention heaped upon him, and he just carries on digging himself a deeper hole. Exquisite.

      "The" Middle East Eye. The definate article. What? With players, including Russia, on teams of various bitterly opposing oil pipeline plans, all focused on Syria ... when it comes to the middle east you might need both eyes open, and a pair in the back of your head more open than this - indefinately!

  3. Oh there she goes again, Angela the not so angelic, blathering on about things she knows nothing about, suggesting that we are more taboo ridden now, without the slightest idea how taboo ridden the Catholic Church that she is "part of" - yes she said that - was and still is.

    Anyone old enough to remember the not eating meat on Friday nights? Convent girls couldn't wear patent leather shoes because they reflected their underwear and boys would look; you would not believe some of the stories about nuns that I have heard from girls who went to Catholic schools. And I have heard that they were not even allowed to read part of the bible back in the 60's even.

    And I read in the Spectator - not that often do I read the Spectator - probably only the headlines and the first paragraph if I am honest and I do choose to be honest as often as I can, unlike some people in politics - that she self-describes having a "contrarian nature'. So if a contrarian is someone who argues for the sake of it and to win rather than to understand the other point of view why would we view her opinion as worth reading?

    And besides she is just another greedy social climbing aspirational entitled and priviliged fucktard.

    I guess she never listened to John Lennon's song "Working Class Hero".

    "As soon as you're born they make you feel small
    By giving you no time instead of it all
    'Til the pain is so big you feel nothing at all

    A working class hero is something to be
    A working class hero is something to be

    They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
    They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
    'Til you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules

    A working class hero is something to be
    A working class hero is something to be

    When they've tortured and scared you for 20 odd years
    Then they expect you to pick a career
    When you can't really function, you're so full of fear

    A working class hero is something to be
    A working class hero is something to be

    Keep you doped with religion, and sex, and T.V.
    And you think you're so clever and classless and free
    But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see

    A working class hero is something to be
    A working class hero is something to be

    There's room at the top they are telling you still
    But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
    If you want to be like the folks on the hill

    A working class hero is something to be
    A working class hero is something to be

    If you want to be a hero well just follow me
    If you want to be a hero well just follow me"

  4. Evidence based argument? Anti-vaxxers? Shanahan is baying at the moon.

    1. Exactly! I couldn't stop laughing at that. Along with the poor put upon "abortion increases risk of breast cancer" quack.
      Also, since when did freedom of speech mean you can say what you like and not be criticised for it? Freedom of speech means you can voice your opinion without persecution from the government. Also her statement:
      "Rather than say “I think, therefore I am” we should realise that the vast majority of people in the world would say “I believe, therefore I am”.
      Really Angela? Then count me in the minority-gladly. And here are few quotes about majority opinion from some individuals who were not monosynaptic:

      “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
      ― Mark Twain

      “Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.”
      ― Leo Tolstoy, A Confession

      “I don't imagine you will dispute the fact that at present the stupid people are in an absolutely overwhelming majority all the world over.”
      ― Henrik Ibsen

      “The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widely spread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible.”
      ― Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals

    2. Hmm. I can't help but think that your case is irretrievably weakened by the nature of those whom you choose to quote. I mean, Berty could be ok on his very best days, but Twain, Tolstoy and Ibsen ?

      Couldn't you find a single rational homo sapiens anywhere that you could quote ?

    3. OK-I'll bite GrueBleen. The essence of the quotes themselves stand, regardless of your ill considered opinion about the rationality of the people who made them. By your reckoning, Samuel Clemens was not a rational person- you are priceless. Yours was a cheap shot, but you got a reaction! I trust I made you feel good about yourself.
      "Berty"- how precious.

    4. Oh dear, Anony, you are a sad, sensitive little self-absorbed child aren't you. But good luck to you, you fit well the world inhabited by the people you quote.

  5. Angela's second last paragraph is perhaps the most interesting.
    Like all right-wing or "conservative" religionists especially those from the now world dominant archaic ahab-the-arab "faiths", they pretend that the set of ideas that they promote about the what we as human beings and the nature of Reality altogether are NOT ideological constructs, but "God"- given instructions beyond and prior to any man made ideology.
    Never mind that they were all put in place by those who won the culture wars of their time and place. The purpose of such ideological constructs was of course to consolidate the power-and-control of the winning faction.
    The winners won ONLY because they had the swords, guns and cannons to subdue or wipe out all of the inevitable oppositional people, ideas and movements.
    The "golden" rule always wins - those that have the most gold (to buy the necessary guns) always win.

    Collectively the "catholic" church is the worlds third largest property owner, and one of the worlds largest transnational BUSINESS corporations - being THE original such corporation. It also runs the worlds largest propaganda machine which reaches into almost every town and village on the planet. Like all such corporations its primary concern is protecting its assets and expanding its market share (over the "souls" of human beings). Even to the extent of controlling ALL of humankind - such is of course its primary mission statement.
    The monstrous "catholic" magisterium is the ultimate statement of totalitarian intent.

  6. Well, going against the grain here, but I think the whole post Charlie events have been the biggest collection of humbuggery from both the left and right that I have seen in years.
    Everybody agrees freedom of speech is the most important thing ever...except when it is something they disagree with.
    In fact I'm going further with this. I don't think expecting others to die for your " freedom to offend everybody", like the dead police and supermarket hostages died, is any more acceptable than committing those murders.
    I am willing to say that now I am a supporter of censorship.

    1. Appease the fanatics, yeah Glen that's the way alright.


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