Yarooh! Whoop! Oh crikey! Yaroooh garoah, ejaculated the dumb poodle in charge of education (thanks to Frank Richards, celebrated by David McKie in the Graudian here).
Here's the problem for the poodle, because here's what a poodle spokesman said:
A spokesman for Mr Pyne said: "The Minister does not support a return to corporal punishment in any form... Dr Donnelly's views are a matter for him." (Christopher Pyne, educators slam Kevin Donnelly's corporal punishment views)
Well no. Dr Donnelly's views are a matter for the poodle, because Pyne hand-picked him to prepare a report on the education system.
Donnelly's co-chair of the review of the national curriculum.
Back in the day, the poodle was all over Donnelly's views like a rash. He couldn't get enough of Donnelly's views, and he didn't want to be bothered with any other views, because he wanted robust views. Yes he did:
Mr Pyne told reporters in Adelaide that he wanted to implement any changes from the review in 2015, after consulting with state and territory counterparts.
He dismissed questions about the impartiality of Professor Wiltshire and Dr Donnelly, saying: ''I'm very confident that Ken and Kevin will bring a balanced approach.''
Dr Donnelly, who is a former chief of staff to Liberal frontbencher Kevin Andrews, has previously criticised a ''cultural left'' bias in the education system. Professor Wiltshire has labelled the current curriculum as a ''failure'' with poor and patchy content.
The Education Minister said he had not appointed a bigger committee to review the curriculum as he wanted a ''robust'' outcome, rather than a report that pleased all stakeholders.
Mr Pyne said that Dr Donnelly and Professor Wiltshire would look at the process of how the curriculum is developed as well as its content. ''I have asked them to gather the views of parents, state and territory governments and educators to inform their analysis.''
Describing himself as a ''curriculum nerd'', Dr Donnelly said on Friday that it was an honour to be appointed to the role.
Dr Donnelly added that he thought he should be able to whip a jolly good report into shape and after slapping things around a bit, pound out a handsome set of conclusions. (here, forced video at end of link)
Oh wait. You see that last sentence? That line where Dr Donnelly got very robust? That was slipped in by an NZ sub who thinks it's funny. The pond promises six of the best for him, and a damn good strapping and none of that bleating and snivelling child!
But the pond gets the sub's point. You see, the poodle is paying for Donnelly's views, designed to stir the possum, and revive the culture wars, and now he seems agitated that a stirred-up possum has run up his trouser leg.
Whatever else, you can't walk away when you select a Donnelly. You have to pick and stick.
Dr Donnelly's views are a dead set matter for the paying poodle, and for anyone interested in the current state of education in Australia, and Donnelly has set the scene nicely for the delivery of his report.
Sure the unseemly association makes the poodle look and sound like an old-fashioned Billy Bunter stuck somewhere in a 1920s Frank Richards universe, but hey, what's new.
Has the whipping boy set himself up for a fresh whipping?
Oh okay, it was just so the pond could marvel yet again at the poodle's capacity for getting into trouble, always soiling the carpet.
Now poodle, pay attention or it'll be yaroop garooah and a sharp whack across the moist nose with a rolled up newspaper ...
Oh alright, you've guessed it. The pond just wanted to evoke Pyne pining for the days of yore, via a few cartoons.
In Dutch even!
Why we could even get as modern as a UK Dennis the Menace cartoon from the 1950s!
And here's some technology and advances in discipline which should surely be explored and might well end up in a modern Pyne school.
By golly, you won't get any bleating about these kids failing to recognise the legacy of Western civilisation and not giving important events in Australia's history and culture the prominence they deserve such as Anzac Day and Simpson and his donkey and anyone who suggests Simpson was a deserter and radical trade unionist with notions of revolution can head off to headmaster Pyne's office right this instant ...
How quaint! Hand driven! Surely it's time for mechanisation! Let the poodle and Donnelly lead the education system to a glorious new future.