Friday, September 13, 2013

Gloating is unseemly but sometimes it just has to be done ...

(Above: doing the Facebook rounds but creating a profound need to include it on the pond as an item of record. Forwarded to the pond but kudos to the unknown artiste).

Notes from a land far away.

The pond understands that the land down under is in a state of national emergency, and that Tony Abbott has not announced a plan to produce a budget surplus in the first year of government.

Despite jolly Joe Hockey saying, this very year Anno Domini 2013:

Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has backed Shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey's claim that the Coalition would be on track to deliver a budget surplus in the first year of taking office. (here).

Lies and bullshit you might think, hot gospelling about pie in the sky by and by, and yet Abbott has the cheek to talk of keeping the voters' trust. If you told porkies to get to power, what odds you'll keep on telling them? So many porkies about so many national emergencies, it seems Australia is doomed.

As a result, the pond understands that backtracking on this 101 budgetary pledge will produce an imminent catastrophic national crisis and this grave awareness of an impending disaster that could result in imminent, or even immediate and forthwith, bankruptcy and penury.

Here in Amsterdam it's quite sunny, and thus far the dykes are holding.

But how long, if the coalition's direct action plan to control non-existent climate change undermines the dykes and fails to stop the boats? Or some such thing. If you read the double-Dutch Andrew Bolt, you'll understand.

Other news suggests that prices down under are spiralling out of control, what with the ongoing increases in the costs of petrol, electricity and other basic necessities (don't bother to check the actual prices, it's a rhetorical point, and all we want to feel is your fear and your panic).

The pond further understands that the minority government is completely stymied and stuffed by its lack of control in the Senate.

It seems that Australia is likely to endure a catastrophically unstable period of government.

This is what happens with all minority governments. Ruination and despair, and a good dose of eccentricity.

Of course over this way no one's sure whether Belgium actually has a government, though they seem to have a new king for the two nations ...

But back to the alarming news seeping through to the pond.

Once upon a time, it was behooven on the part of the commentariat to announce at least daily, a national crisis, a national disaster, a national catastrophe, and it seems only fair to continue this tradition proudly into the future.

From what little the pond hears in Europe - and it's truly amazing what little is to be heard in Europe about down under - Australia is comprehensively, catastrophically fucked.

What's even worse we understand that Tony Abbott's fitness regime might be suffering and the endorphins aren't kicked in as much as they used to.

He's being fucked while fucking the country.

But never mind, the pond is just dropping by to report that old familiar treats are still to hand in Amsterdam, and there we were thinking the Dutch were comprehensively, catastrophically fucked.

Who knew?

First up was a visit to the new bathtub, commonly known as the Stedelijk Museum.

It's in a state of chaos and crisis, what with the new director resigning already.

And then there was time spent at the newly refurbished and opened Rijksmuseum.

With the odd Vermeer and Rembrandt, and others from the Golden Age, along with plenty of insights into the Dutch penchant for colonial exploitation as a way of achieving a tidy lifestyle.

And you must take in the Concertgebouw.

Now the pond didn't take these snaps, but we just wanted to mention that we've had our usual feast at our favourite potato chip store, the Meals on Wheels hole in the wall of Amsterdam, and a must visit place for delusional tourists who think they're going native when actually all around are English yobbo tourists desperate to eat half-way decent chips. Who knew that David Cameron had fucked the chips of England? Along with everything else ...

Here's the link.

And while in Amsterdam the pond always has a little herring.

Raw. A bit like the raw Abbott prawns daily dished up down under.

Why it sounds calamitous, you poor dears. Here. have another haring.

Okay, the pond didn't take the picture, you can find it here, and you can also try Stubbe's haring.

Naturally the pond has been to both stalls. Just remember you must eat the onion and the pickle for the full, rich experience. It'll take your mind off the catastrophic, comprehensively fucked experience in Australia, routinely reported on the hour by the frenzied Murdoch press as disaster after disaster unfolds, even worse than the Gillard government...

What's that you say? No one can be fucked recalling the parliament until October or  November or whatever?

Does the pond care about your predicament?

Go eat a haring ... and don't forget to shove a pickle up your nose ... it's the Australian way ...

Sorry, gloating is unseemly, but sometimes it just has to be done.


  1. Pleased to get this. Have a good holiday. Missing you.

  2. Always lovely to receive a postcard DP.
    We are in great consternation here. The country is suffering a Budget emergency and the leader is nowhere to be seen.
    What to do? What to do?
    Julia Gillard has penned a long piece for the Guardian today if you have not seen it.

  3. Harings with saus might be okay. I'll check with David Suchet, noted Belgium gourmet. Enjoy your time away.


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