Friday, September 27, 2013

A few modest proposals ...

(Above: more details here).

In the usual way of broadening the mind, the pond returned with a few notions and modest proposals arising from its trip OS.

What a fine example we found - see above - for a re-modelling of the Lodge to suit our new Dear Leader, who has started his reign with all the skill and aplomb of a Sun King, and has dazzled the Murdochians with the brightness of his light.

Was it only yesterday that Greg Sheridan was dazzled by the stunning Julie Bishop, the sun king's expert in foreign affairs? Already she outshines Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-PĂ©rigord ...

And as for recalcitrants, who keep on babbling about the emperor's new clothes, why not take a leaf out of the Chinese government's books - a notion the pond picked up while passing through Honkers, as explained by Keith Zhai in Up to three years in prison for Chinese internet users who spread rumours:

A libellous online post that is forwarded more than 500 times or viewed more than 5,000 times could land its author in jail for up to three years, according to the mainland's first judicial interpretation to control rumours on the internet. 
The legal move comes as the Communist Party ramps up its campaign to rein in the internet following President Xi Jinping's call to "seize the ground of new media". 
The Supreme People's Court and Supreme People's Procuratorate, the country's top prosecution body, jointly issued the document yesterday. It set out the terms on what constitutes a criminal offence when it comes to spreading rumours or misinformation on the internet. The guidelines take effect today. 
Besides quantifying the number of views or reposts that can get an internet user in trouble, the interpretation stipulates that any untrue post found to cause mental illness, self-harm or suicide can be considered a "serious case" also punishable by up to three years in jail. Other such "serious cases" include posts that lead to mass protests, instigate ethnic or religious clashes, damage the nation's image or "cause a bad international effect". 
Aside from facing libel charges for online rumours, an offender can also be charged with stirring up trouble, extortion or operating an illegal business.

Spreading rumours! Why that would stop ignorant bloggers dead on a dime, instead of proposing malicious stories, such that Dear Leader has a lesbian sister or Chairman Rupert is a gay divorcee, and yet somehow both imagine they still live in the 1950s in Ming the Merciless land.

As for stirring up trouble, it would certainly stop any mention of "Poodle" Pyne already being sent to the kennel by his own master for dropping a policy on the lawn just when it wasn't needed.

Of course the discipline - 'No plans: to remove student services fee: Abbott - beware the lizard Oz "lite" - makes Dear Leader look masterful and in command, and is therefore able to be reported by the lizards with splendid spin:

Tony Abbott says he has no plans to revoke compulsory university student services fees, in a clear sign to colleagues that he does not want his legislative agenda to become bogged down by ideological distractions.

Oh yes, the sun king is resolutely non-ideological, but should it be mentioned in blogger land that he seems to have saddled himself with a brainless poodle set adrift in a major ministry without much of a clue, now that preening and strutting and abusing the opposition is no longer enough?

Sure enough, anywhere outside Murdoch la la land, the mindless poodle's strutting has got the pundits agitated, as you can read in Quality fears over demand-driven uni funding misplaced.

Already there are idle rumours of policy promises broken.

And speaking of broken promises and betrayal, what are we to make of the strange case of Ian Macfarlane? Poor hapless trusting true believer farmers, as you can read in Resources Minister Ian Macfarlane accused of CSG mining 'backflip' - but beware the lizard Oz "lite" experience:

The Lock the Gate Alliance has released footage of resources minister Ian Macfarlane telling an anti-coal seam gas rally he had "misgivings'' about the sector, which it says directly contrasts with his bullish stance since being elected.

And then the hapless gravel-voiced duffer decided to call his opponents "anarchists" - yes he did, yes he did, as you can read in Coal seam gas opponents 'anarchists', says minister.

Now your average cocky, still imagining they were tending the land and wanting to hand on something for future generations - try a European perspective of five hundred years, try a black perspective of 40,000 years - looked up the definition, and discovered inter alia they were being linked with the likes of Mikhail Bakunin.

Oh sure, it ties in with the theme of the sun king - or at least his hapless descendent Louis XVI, who is rumoured to have said let them eat coal gas so that we can eat cake - but what does it say about the state of the sun king's ministry, forced to grapple with contending forces and chose sides.

Already the anarchists on their facebook page are sounding agitated and restless.

And what about the desire to mount a full-scale confrontation with Indonesia, redolent of the last few glorious years of Ming the merciless?

Only the other day the pond dropped in on a piece in the lizard Oz, and was struck by the war-mongering nature of the comments, with most convinced that boat people were all the fault of the filthy Indonesians and they needed to be taught a damned good lesson.

It would have been easy to dismiss it as the rabid rhetoric of armchair warriors, but then what do you know, along came that rabid armchair warrior, Alexander "the blue rinse toff stocking" Downer to stir the pot.

Of course anybody with a smidgin of common sense knew that all the blather and the blarney delivered by the coalition before the election was all bullshit, and that became clear when Indonesia's foreign minister Marty Natalegawa dared to drop details of a private meeting he had with Julie Bishop in New York.

The always helpful Downer decided it would be good to set all the oil on troubled waters alight, as you can read in Chris Bowen says Coalition must address Alexander Downer's comments on Indonesia's asylum seeker stance.

Even better, Dear Leader is off to Indonesia on Monday - lordy, lordy, what fun, while Scott "clap happy, let's all speak in tongues" Morrison is busy expanding the gulag at Manus Island (here).

How to spin this crazed, chaotic start to government?

Well it actually provided a feast of headlines and you takes your pick. Granny went with poodle Pyne:

While the reptiles went with confrontation - after all, think of the newspapers you could sell, just like William Randolph Hearst when he helped start the Spanish American war:

Truly everything is working out for the best in the best of all possible sun king worlds. A shot across the bow!

Finally, thank the long absent lord there's football to keep the tabloid minds off impending disasters, and sssh, whatever you do, please don't mention climate science.

Already alarmists are proposing all kinds of dismal prospects - Australia could be left with no policy on climate change - failing to understand that if you refuse to mention or acknowledge an issue, it will simply not happen, or at least have the politeness to quietly go away.

To harp on records and heat and drought is bad enough but to mention actual climate science in that context would be really bad form - the HUN shows how it should be done, with frolicking children gaily enjoying the warm waters of Southport, while casually mentioning a few records were broken, and sssh, not a mention of climate science, while celebrating the news that relief and a cool change is just around the corner, as you can read in Cool change coming as Queensland hot weather records smashed.

What a relief, and after all that hearty exercise, no doubt the children can settle down to a cordial and a nice slice of cake.

Helpfully the lizard Oz has taken to publishing Dennis Jensen in full climate denialist, Bjorn Lomborg mode ...

That's all you need to know about Dennis "coca cola is a gas" Jensen.

Why should the pond keep on linking to the reptiles doing their "lite" routine?

The pond would no more give up an email address to read the ratbag ranting and raving of a loon as read Jensen in Lomborg mode... and the sooner the lizards realise this, the better ...

If this is the top opinion piece in the rag, then it's in as much trouble as the sun king. You can stick your bum in the air like an ostrich, but the chances are someone will notice the bum ...

Now how about that cake ...

(Below: another cake eater. Can she find a place in the new sun king's court? Or perhaps scribble a piece on climate denialism for the reptiles at the lizard Oz?)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments older than two days are moderated and there will be a delay in publishing them.