Monday, January 23, 2012

A flurry of Monday thought bubbles about Newt, Eurogeddon and localgeddon Craig Thomson ...

Another Monday, another Paul Sheehan thought bubble ...

Would there have been any chance for the header to have been given the gloss of accuracy?

US Republican voters in South Carolina, a conservative state riddled with Tea Partiers and 'anyone except Romney' conservatives reject the politics of past love ... as Gringrinch scores 243,153 votes against 167,279 for Mitt Romney in a country with a population of well over three hundred million (here for the figures).

Well possibly that's a bit too clunky for a thought bubble header - simple and wrong is always better - but if you want more of Paul Sheehan brooding about the ways of a woman scorned, you can toddle off to US voters reject the politics of past love. But remember, never ask why you don't like Mondays or you might end up sounding like Bob Geldof.

The pond much preferred Doonesbury's re-opening of the Museum of Newtisms (and more Doonesbury here):

The funniest thing is to hear Republican voters talk of getting back to traditional values, which presumably means the rip snorting, fornicating, hypocritical ways of Newt, because as Newt says himself, he has flaws, and what you see is what you get. A serial adulterer, and in the matter of Clinton, a remarkable hypocrite ...

You have to hand it to American politics, it's vastly more entertaining than a Paul Sheehan column ... though it is remarkable to see Sheehan dance around the grandiose grandiosities of Gingrinch ... so that he can land all his blows on the hapless second wife ...

Meanwhile, on the weekend, Mike Carlton struck a blow which resonated at the pond, when - in A field so scary that you can't turn away - he took note of the activities of one Chris Richardson, of Deloitte Access Economics:

On Thursday, the omnipresent Chris Richardson, of Deloitte Access Economics, was warning that Australia should brace for the "ugliest" of times if Europe can't sort out its financial woes.
"A GFC Mark II," he suggested.
Ho hum. Been there, done that. Two years ago, Richardson told us the federal budget was "buggered", that the economy would "unwind scarily fast" and that a recession was inevitable. Oh, and unemployment would hit 7 per cent last year.
Wrong, wrong and wrong. Let the good times roll.

Well the good times might or might not roll, but this morning the pond woke up to the sounds of Fran Kelly blathering on about the financial markets worldwide with finance reporter Sheryle Bagwell, producing a saturated with sound bite set of cliches which seemed to indicate that ...

... we're all doomed, we're all saved, Greece will fall over, Greece might not default, Australia might be doomed, or Australia might experience good growth through the year, China might have a bumpy landing, or it might have a managed landing, France and Spain and Italy might struggle through and raise the necessary funds, or they might crash and burn, and the stock market might be suffused with optimism in January but might well be suffused with pessimism in February, and whatever happens you need nerves of steel to invest in the share market or listen to her and Fran Kelly on RN (Monday finance with Sheryle Bagwell).

And so on and on. By golly, the dial shifted more quickly than you could say 'finance reporting' and hit the remote. Happily RN and Fran Kelly are now banished from the playlist. There must be better ways to wake up on a Monday ...

Meanwhile, Chris Richardson, as immortalised by Carlton, has been at it again, having a bet both ways.

Here's how you do it. Coin a neat word, then add a question mark:

The consultancy's latest business outlook, dubbed "Eurogeddon?", released on Monday says there are two main scenarios for 2012.

Oh what a clever portmanteau, Europe and Armageddon all in one. And don't forget the question mark, and the each way bet. On the one hand:

"Its (Europe's) mismanaged crisis means the euro could falter and that banks could go bust, sending shockwaves around the world," it said.

On the other hand:

"Yet it is still marginally more likely that the Eurozone muddles through this crisis, with sticky tape holding the euro together and ECB (European Central Bank) funding to banks helping to keep the market wolf from the sovereign debt door." (here)

It takes blather about finance and the markets to a new Gingrinchian level of grandiosity, but it means Mike Carlton might have trouble pinging Richardson in the future, because on the one hand he might be right, and on the other hand he might be right, unless of course on the one hand he's wrong, and on the other hand he's wrong.

Meanwhile, the outlook for Australia? Well it turns out what's most likely - as outlined in a report on the report at Bloomberg - that GDP will be up 3.6%, compared to an estimated 2% last year, inflation might also bounce up a little from 1.8% to 2.5%, and there's a good chance the Reserve Bank will lower borrowing costs by a quarter percentage point on February 7th, not that this will necessarily trouble the now recalcitrant big four ...

Eurogeddon? Let the bad times roll ...

Of course this overlooks whether Newt Gingrinch wins the nomination for the Republican party, Israel bombs Iran, Gillard loses the numbers after repeated displays of hypocrisy, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster lands in Sydney Harbour ...

Speaking of Gillard, it goes from bad to worse, what with grandiose Craig Thomson offering up an opinion piece to the Daily Terror today, under the header A potholed pokies path.

Do Thomson, Gillard and the Labor party imagine he's somehow rehabilitated, or that he presents better than the patent sincerity of Andrew Wilkie?

It was about this point in the Thomson piece that the pond spat cornflakes all over the kitchen table:

It is something that I and many NSW Labor MPs have been calling for - a comprehensive trial so that ultimately any legislation that comes before parliament is backed by scientific research.

NSW Labor? Scientific research?

Does he mean a slapdash humbug doomed to fail effort in Canberra will pass scrutiny as scientific research?

Oh wash out your mouth with Access Economics approved blather.

Hang on, hang on, Thomson does it again a little further on ...

The result this week is a big win for NSW Labor MPs who have argued this position strongly for the past year and a win for good evidence-based policy decision making.

NSW Labor MPs win for evidence-based policy decision making? As opposed to sucking up to Clubs Australia, Coles and Woolies, in mortal fear of losing their seats like their state ne'er do well comrades did recently?

Surely this must be a better approach than taking a "punt" to find the right solution to what is a very important but difficult area of public policy.

Put it another way. Big clubs, Woolies and Coles one, problem gamblers nil, and you can call that a big win for NSW Labor MPS ...

If NSW Labor go on winning like this, who knows, before the year is out Tony Abbott might be the new Barry O'Farrell ...

Who could imagine that anyone could make Tony Abbott seem like a viable alternative?

Trust NSW Labor ... drum roll please Rolf ... sure can.

Then again who could imagine anyone taking Newt Gingrinch seriously, apart from Newt and Paul Sheehan?

Take it away Doonesbury, see us out this sad and sorry Monday ... and as usual click to enlarge, or head off to Doonesbury here. It always helps to laugh as you cry, as you make your way through lashings of verbal spakfilla ...

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