In which the pond produces an epic of dog bothering bromancing and "Ned" Everest climbing, and all without the latest simplistic Sharri conspiracy theory ...

 

As correspondents have noted, The Weekly Beast is once again full of essential information, not least the penny-pinching antics at News Corp, as the bean counters draw the line at tree killer rags infiltrating the bunker ...

Meanwhile, delusions of grandeur erupted last night and continued apace this morning, in a splendid Sharri-style shyte show... with one illustration the pond's personal favourite ...

For those wondering, the first source cited in this lizard Oz World Exclusive Investigation was this dude ...

It's outside the paywall, and there's a lot more elsewhere circulating about this Trumpian official enjoying the powers of fiefdom, and in it there's a link to the WaPo original (possible paywall issue), and so the pond had no trouble continuing its ban on simplistic Sharri ... though it did remind the pond of a cartoon that popped into the letter box this morning ...

Letting go of that megalomaniacal delusional flourish of a World Exclusive Investigation meant the rest of the day was a bit of a bummer, with the usual dog botherer outing, time with the bro in Israel and yet another chance to climb the "Ned" Everest.

The pond lists all the topics, because it's easy to get discouraged when the pond refuses to serve up a paranoid piece of Fauci bashing and reptile conspiracy theories ... how about a bit of Neil Young instead, just to establish the demographic the reptiles routinely pitch to ...

This opening gambit reveals a lot about the dog botherer. Presumably it comes with old age, hair loss and a sense of mortality ... but there will be one vital bit of information revealed, and it's not the routine demonising of EVs, the inevitable next stop for reptile climate science denialism when other stops seem to have led to floods, fires and famines ...

That little aside at the end of the gobbet reveals just how pathetic and desperate the dog botherer is this day, but even more perversely, the reptiles refused to link to that 22nd July - that's right, a week old - column by Bianca Nogrady, A post-servo highway? How electric vehicles are changing the Australian roadscape ...

To be clear, even the NRMA's ancient magazine, with ancient ads appealing to an ancient demographic, has gone electric - why they even have an app - while the dog botherer has gone nuts, or at least barking mad ...

Then came an indication of where the dog botherer's heart had stopped, many years ago, with the reptiles lashing out on a Getty image ...

But what provoked this Graudian reading bit of EV bashing nuttiness, especially given that Uncle Elon has turned as X-rated as any dog botherer might require? Alas it turns out that the dog botherer is part of the inner suburban deep state sinister 'leet, and for all the pond knows, his blather about virtue signalling and woke and such like might conceal a dire threat to suburbia from this inner city dweller occasionally inclined to motor out west with a toot toot and a poop poop worthy of a toad... oh yes, to be in love with gas guzzlers, and to do a deeply professional and detailed survey while doing the poop pooping ...

Indeed, indeed, and the reptile routine goes on, so just stick to the gas guzzling, and enjoy the Kudelka ... out and about as usual at the Saturday Paper ...

And so to a final gobbet from this Graudian-reading member of the inner city urban 'leet ...

Of course it goes without saying that it's impossible to run out of petrol and gas guzzlers never break down, and why not enjoy a relevant infallible Pope?

The pond offered that cartoon because it's likely many will now decide to turn to other more useful, profitable ways to waste their time, while the pond feels obliged to note a fundamentalist Catholic's attempt to deal with fundamentalist Jews...

It's incredibly long and chock full of illustrations, with the penny-pinching reptiles deciding to spend up big at Getty images ...

Might it also be about a notorious crook who wants to escape punishment? Ah, but the bromancer has long looked favourably on Netanyahu ... and the lizard Oz graphics department even lashed out on a snap of the lad ...

Meanwhile, it's best not to mention the deeply corrupt Netanyahu, and instead rabbit on about the court going leftie, as opposed to barking mad fundamentalist bigoted right ...

At this point the pond snapped. Not only did it have to listen to talk of the crazy quilt coalition of crazies that currently constitutes the government of Israel, the pond was fed up with all the snaps, and so took steps by doing an Eisensteinian montage...

 

It meant the bromancer could be reduced to satisfyingly small gobbets of gibber ...

Ah yes bloody furriners, always ruining things for Europeans, but might the pond note at this point that anyone with a serious interest might be better off taking a look at Haaretz ...

Now back to the bromancer marketing Netanyahu's coup to the world ...

That's as opposed to any Israeli leader attempting to make peace facing assassination from fundamentalist barking mad Jews ...

But enough, there's another gripping story which would have tremendous appeal to the dog botherer ...

A complex issue requiring ream upon ream of learned theology, while the bromancer tries to keep distracting the pond ...

Eek, they're breeding like rabbits ... but please, no demonising rabbits... or the deeply weird religious views of said rabbits, because who knows, next thing you might start rabbiting on about the weird and wondrous believes of fundamentalist Catholics ...

Now there's a tricky one for the bromancer, what with the court somehow managing to sound extremely far left and deviant in its assessment of the behaviour of barking mad fundamentalists ... and just as the pond's patience had run out, huzzah, just two gobbets to go ...

At this point, fundamentalist tyke decided to offer some solutions for dealing with fundamentalist Jews, and the pond was pleased it only took up a very short final gobbet ...

Confused? What you need is a guide to what's allowable ...

Luckily there's nothing in that list that mentions that climbing the Everest known as nattering "Ned" is forbidden, and so to the final challenge for the day ...

The pond has no idea of which remnant of the graphics department selected that snap of the beefy boofhead, but the one in the body of the text was just as bad - why it almost made Jimbo look like a real politician instead of someone in the grip of indigestion, or something worse...

The pond just wanted to get the snaps out of the way so it could nod off to sleep while others took on the "Ned" Everest challenge ...

Is there anything more tedious than "Ned" channeling the beefy boofhead with an office in Goulburn, apparently a town where the dog botherer wouldn't stop ...

Okay, okay, it's childish of the pond to delight in the words "Tooze said", because that's what "Ned" does, sayeth the stuff of others, and if that involves "the polycrisis term has a real utility descriptively", then that is what a climate science ducking and weaving "Ned" must do, even if it involves talk of "the natural environment blowing back at us."

The reptiles have spent decades denying any blow back, what's to change now? Tooze said ...

Say what? There's an environmental crisis looming ahead? Let's forget "Malware v. Ned", back in 2020, let's remember Manne v. "Ned" ... way back in September 2011 ...

And now here we are, and twelve years later "Ned" has discovered there's a looming crisis ... which is very strange for a Chicken Little accustomed to running about and clucking that we'll all be rooned by Xmas ...

At this point, knowing that there were only two relatively short gobbets to go, the pond tuned out and switched off. Would there be an immortal Rowe at the end as a reward for scaling the "Ned" Everest? You can take that one to the Banks ...

There was a recent dearth of "Ned's" natter and the pond wondered where it went, and now that it's returned, the pond can't wait for it to go away again ... that way the pond can avoid contemplating blather about a coming environmental crisis with blather about the needless destruction of coal-fired power stations. 

There's only so many things the pond's brain can compute in a day ... and so it's off to the Sydney Institute for a final gobbet, even as Polonius waits in the wings to deliver his prattle for the pond's Sunday meditation ...

There it blows again ... what are these "climate forces" that "Ned" blathers about? Has he suddenly become an expert in this matter? Nope, he ducked it then, and he keeps ducking it now ... always with the ducking and the weaving and the endless, interminable navel-gazing and fluff-gathering blather ...

And if anyone made it to the end, they did better than "Ned" participating in a debate, and so earned an immortal Rowe ...

As always it's in the details, if you want to discover who's sleeping with who ... or whom if you must know who's on first base and watt's on second ...

In which Henry goes AWOL, so the pond castles with a Bishop, moves cackling Claire to e6 and plays pawn Dimitri to f3 or f4 ...

 

With the hole in the bucket man going AWOL this day, the pond thought it might take the chance to do a detour and a pleasant distraction. 

Usually the pond only approaches former politicians via the simpering and pandering reptiles, but a friend sent the pond a link to a Graudian story ...Australia must confront four megatrends that are causing rapid global disruption.

Uh huh. Perforce the pond had to read it, if only to pretend that the pond was paying attention and waddya know:

Today we face four megatrends that are driving rapid and disruptive changes, and which will greatly affect our nation, the region and the world.
These pre-date Covid and are likely to continue well after the pandemic. They are technological advances, shifts in geopolitical and economic power, backlash against globalisation and climate change.

Do tell, at least on the matter of climate change ...

...My fourth and final megatrend is climate change. This is the drive for carbon emissions reduction and renewable energy and a transition away from fossil fuels.

Australia has already experienced the extremes of climate-related challenges, but it is a nation historically dependent upon plentiful supplies of cheap fossil fuels to provide baseload power. As researchers from The Australian National University remind us, we have the tools to meet this challenge – but we must act with more urgency.

I am confident Australia can play a useful role in shaping responses to the negative effects of each of these four megatrends.

Julie Bishop is Chancellor of The Australian National University and was Australia’s first female foreign minister. This is an edited extract of her speech delivered at the National Press Club.

The pond confesses it had no idea that Bishop still carried on carrying on, but was pleased she'd found a nice sinecure in academia and can suck up to the splendid profs and researchers at ANU ...

As for the rest, the pond drifted back in time, as you can if you look to Trove or to the Wayback Machine ...

It so happens that tracking Bishop also reminded the pond of another early effort ...Julie Bishop reopens nuclear debate as route to cut carbon dioxide emissions.

Latika Bourke set that hare and story running back on 29th November 2014 and it reminded the pond just how long the old 'nuke the country to save the planet' and 'SMRs as the new dream' had been running ...

Foreign Minister Julie Bishop says nuclear energy remains an option for Australia, describing it as an "obvious direction" as it considers how to cut carbon dioxide emissions after 2020.

Ms Bishop called for a an open discussion about the feasibility of nuclear power, given Australia's abundance of uranium, but accused Labor of resorting to a scare campaign when the issue was raised during the Howard government years.

"It's an obvious conclusion that if you want to bring down your greenhouse gas emissions dramatically you have to embrace a form of low or zero-emissions energy and that's nuclear, the only known 24/7 baseload power supply with zero emissions," she told Fairfax Media when asked about Australia's options for reaching future carbon-reduction targets.

Ms Bishop flies to Lima, Peru, in just over a week to attend the annual United Nations climate conference, where Australia will face pressure to announce its climate targets for beyond 2020 and it's understood the Prime Minster has personally requested Trade Minister Andrew Robb chaperone Ms Bishop so he can factor in the economic impacts of any new targets Australia considers. Mr Robb, with three major trade deals under his belt, was due to be in South America at the time. Mr Robb was instrumental in influencing the coalition partyroom against former Leader Malcolm Turnbull and his support for Labor's emissions trading scheme.

But new pressure has mounted on Australia in the wake of a recent agreement between the US and China, designed to build momentum for an international treaty due to be struck in Paris in December 2015.

"I always thought that we needed to have a sensible debate about all potential energy sources and, given that Australia has the largest source of uranium, it's obvious that we should at least debate it," she said.

The Liberal Party and its base strongly supports considering nuclear power, but the Coalition has avoided reviving the debate until now. Ms Bishop lamented the result of a 2006 review, commissioned when she was science minister.

"The debate didn't go anywhere. It descended into name calling about which electorates I intended to place a nuclear reactor in, and would I rule out Cottesloe Beach – that kind of puerile debate. So it didn't ever get off the ground," she said.

The review, headed by businessman and nuclear physicist Ziggy Switkowski, found nuclear power was "a practical option for part of Australia's electricity production" and, if supported, could see plants built within 10 to 15 years.

Dr Switkowski praised Ms Bishop's comments and said "nuclear power simply has to be in the mix in Australia's energy future" given its negligible carbon footprint and Australia's geological stability.

Dr Switkowski said community sentiment towards nuclear power had been warming in Australia until the Fukushima disaster in 2011.

But he said advances in small modular reactors could make nuclear commercially viable for Australia as early as next decade because they addressed the main concerns people typically held about reactors – waste, their proximity to population centres and the risk of a catastrophic accident.

"The small modular reactors will provide a real opportunity to consider nuclear power again because they are a tenth of the size of a nuclear or coal-fired powered station," he said.

But he agreed that if there were improvements in wind and solar technology over the next two decades to make them more reliable around the clock, renewable energy sources could be more viable than nuclear. "It's a bit of a race, given the time that's been lost due to Fukushima," he said.

The government is likely to increase its uranium trade to China and India, and has in the past sold the resource to Russia.

Mr Bishop said: "Other countries are embracing nuclear power as part of their energy mix in order to meet the kind of reduction in greenhouse gas emissions that is being considered.

"France is considered as one of the greenest countries on earth [and] has a significant proportion of its energy from nuclear energy."

But the pond really should finish off that first outing ...

Apparently the science was well known at the time, but now in 2023 it's suddenly a megatrend, and so the pond is proud to present to you a reminder of a woman without convictions or care. 

Got an asbestos case that's troubling you? She's the woman for you. Want to pander to the onion muncher's climate science denialism? She's the woman for you. Want to spruik SMRs to save the country by 2020? Why look beyond a Bishop, way more useful than a castling?  Want someone to muddy the waters by talk of nuking the country?  Just make sure she gives a talk to the press club.

Want to pander to a bunch of true believer academics? Why she's the woman who can spin on a dime so fast you're head will spin and all you'll see is a blur. Why aren't you convinced already? She's definitely the woman for you ...

And in that spirit the pond turned to the lizard Oz to see what was making the digital and tree killer headlines, and decided to shove the whole sorry mess into a lumpen montage ...

 

Something seemed to be missing, and so the pond looked to the comments section ...

Nope, nothing to see there ... perhaps cackling Claire might be able to help ...

Ah, that's right, speaking of price tags and costs, that was what was entirely missing in the lizard Oz, though it could be found in the Graudian ...Era of global boiling has arrived,’ says UN chief as July set to be hottest month on record ...

A tidy turn of phrase, that reference to global boiling, but not for the reptiles at the lizard Oz ...

Back to Claire, cackling away in her usual style ...

Ah, total system costs ... ah renewables ... ah the Graudian ...

Meanwhile, Claire is still clucking and cackling, as if she's just laid a cost egg ... and never mind all the other unsightly costs going down as she clacks and clicks on her keyboard ...

At this point, the reptiles slipped in one of their huge snaps ...

Why not an inspirational graph?, the pond wondered ...

Well you can read the rest of the Graudian yarn via the link, and the pond is content to present a final cackle, and heil cackling Claire as the Julie Bishop of our time ...

Ah yes, Texas, such a sterling example, such a splendid energy system, such a diligent response to climate science ... Climate change has sent temperatures soaring in Texas.

...Extreme heat is presenting new challenges for communities across the state that rely on infrastructure built for a climate of the past.

James Doss-Gollin, an assistant professor of civil and environmental engineering at Rice University who has researched adaptation to extreme weather, said the state’s electric grid and dams are two examples of infrastructure that are greatly impacted by increasing temperatures. Just a few degrees of difference, he said, can jeopardize the availability of electricity and the structural integrity of dams.

The grid, for example, is stressed by higher demand when extreme heat causes more people to crank up their air conditioning. At the same time, when high temperatures arrive earlier in the spring and last later into the fall, power plants have smaller and smaller windows to make routine repairs.

“We have a lot of infrastructure that’s very, very sensitive to small changes in the underlying climate,” Doss-Gollin said.

Many dams are small, are privately owned and were built decades ago, when extreme rainfall events like the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey in 2017 — which dumped as much as 50 inches of rain on some parts of the Gulf Coast over five days — were much less common.

“You don’t know what sort of conditions it’s designed for,” Doss-Gollin said. “It’s a huge challenge.”...

And so on and so forth, and so to the bonus, and the pond was shattered that our Henry had gone AWOL - how to make it through the day without a sermon about Thucydides? - but luckily there was a replacement to hand ...

Splendid stuff, and a splendid opening graphic, and lo, the spirit of the vanishing prof lives on, because it wasn't so long ago the pond was proudly featuring ...our very own hole in the bucket man, blessed with exactly the same graphic!

You see? It's called operational interactivity. You just wire all the reptilian minds together to produce a giant hive, and soon enough they can all look and sound exactly the same ...

At this point, the pond's survival mode kicked in, and instead of more lizard Oz illustrations, the pond decided to get them all out of the way in a bulk, knock down offer not be missed ... no sniping, mind you ...

 

Just slip them in whenever you read a trigger word.

The pond will of course revert to its own illustrations because it's read all this before ...déjà vu or perhaps déjà rêvé being the pond's most common experience when reading the reptiles ...

Why do the reptiles always revert to a far right Trumpian judge? Why must the pond of all places head to The Hill to read How a right-wing judge got social media and free speech dead wrong?

Never mind, Dimitri doesn't get out much, and needs his little earner from the lizard Oz, and now perhaps a Wilcox to offer solace and comfort?

Sheesh, the boat's burning, and suddenly cackling Claire hovers back into the pond's mind, and using the Bishop to take out the Knight went badly wrong. Quick, another serve of dazzling Dimitri ...

Galileo! Milton! The pond concedes they aren't Thucydides, but are you not astonished at the relevance to brand X?

Here, have another distraction ...

Sheesh, even the infallible Pope is using a scorched earth as a metaphor. Is there no escaping memories of the asbestos woman or cackling Claire?

Quick, waiter, a heady draught of dazzling Dimitri ...

Ah, an appropriate balance, though the pond suspects it will never find any attention to the lies and misinformation daily peddled in the lizard Oz.

Perhaps another distraction ...

Oh dear, a severed head in the "NO" tray, and so to another and thankfully final serve from a thundering Dimitri, defending the rights of neo-Nazis roaming freely on Twitter ...

Or come to think of it, roaming freely on Faux Noise ... Fox Insiders Shudder at Gutfeld’s Latest Holocaust Controversy: ‘Yikes’

Take it away dazzling Dimitri, let there be no gutting of the Gutfeld ... remember, arbeit macht frei, and slavery is a good opportunity to hone valuable work skills ...

Speaking of abominations, it's that tag about being a principal that always gets to the pond, but enough  of the abominable reptiles this day ...

Sadly, the pond has used up its local distractions, so perhaps a few imports for a closer, just to remind the pond where following the reptiles will get you ...