The pond's with stupid, and stupid songs ...

The pond can't get enough of the Bolter this day ... and nor can others ...

Over a thousand comments sharing the Bolter's sorrow, and the pity, and the chagrin of it all, and we should all remember to sing along ...

And so to a Bolter lite, so light that a passing zephyr might whisk the bubble head into the air and play with it the way a plastic bag dances in American Beauty:

Thirty comments! And for such a rapier wit, scintillating and sparkling like papier mâché in the afternoon light ...

Or perhaps sitting on the tongue with the rancid bitterness of a sour lemon ...

... The only offensive element here is that an ABC staffer — part of a tax-funded billion dollar broadcaster completely protected from market forces — is asking how someone else might relate to ordinary Australians. 
The ABC’s distance from those Australians may be seen in this exchange between the new Prime Minister and AM host Michael Brissenden: 
 Turnbull: “We have got to talk about the real issues that affect people’s lives, and that’s, why don’t we do that?” 
Brissenden: “Well let’s do that. You’ve been a strong advocate for a republic, for same-sex marriage, for stronger action on climate change.” 
 Yep, those are the real issues affecting people’s lives, all right. It’s just that nobody outside of the ABC seems to talk about them. Perhaps they will now, since Turnbull is such a brilliant persuader. Although the record shows otherwise. If Malcolm Turnbull really is such a convincing chap, he’d have defeated Rudd in 2010, we’d have a popular ETS and Australia would already be a republic. Turnbull was deservedly rolled in 2009 after both the Liberal Party and Liberal voters rejected him. In the final Newspoll before the party moved against Turnbull, the Coalition trailed Labor by 43 to 57. An ETS remains electorally toxic. And as for the republic, new Australian Republican Movement leader Peter FitzSimons bragged last week about signing 1200 new members over the last two months. Way to convert 0.005 per cent of the Australian public, Fitzy. 
Meanwhile, a number of conservative Liberal members are fleeing the party rather than support Turnbull — a phenomenon that doesn’t seem to bother Liberal party strategist Mark Textor. “The qualitative evidence is they don’t matter,” Textor said. “The sum of a more centrist approach outweighs any alleged marginal loss of ­so-called base voters.”

You'll note little Timmie doesn't berate Malware for his skill at Fraudband.

After all, when he was doing the work of the devil, he was doing what Rupert wanted ...

Now suddenly the Murdochians have gone Marxist ...

...what a change it is. Former treasurer Joe Hockey couldn’t display a mere symbol of wealth, in the form of a cigar, without drawing a furious response from the ABC and Fairfax. Turnbull, on the other hand, who could hide ­Kirribilli House in his Point Piper garage, escapes criticism. 
 “The fact Turnbull is fabulously wealthy is no secret,” wrote Fairfax political reporter Judith Ireland on Friday. “Indeed, his success in business and contacts with the ritzy end of town is part of his charm … The fact that Turnbull had another, fully-formed life away from Canberra rounded him out and made him more interesting … Judging Turnbull for his money bags is reverse snobbish and boring … even $200 million men deserve a fair go.” 
 Keep that in mind the next time Fairfax laments the gap between rich and poor or complains about billionaire mining company ­executives. It’s just a part of their charm. Still, the Great Malcolm’s ascent hasn’t been entirely ­positive. Foreign Minister Julie Bishop, in particular, is paying a dreadful penalty. 
 “The Australian delegation to the United Nations General ­Assembly in New York appears to be receiving a different welcome than it might have had Tony ­Abbott still been in office. Doors that were recently firmly closed have mysteriously swung open,” Fairfax’s Nick O’Malley reported. “Foreign Affairs Minister Julie Bishop has received a last-minute invitation to attend a Sunday lunch hosted by UN secretary- general Ban Ki-moon for the ­leaders of about 20 nations to ­discuss climate change.” 
Lunch with Ban Ki-moon. To discuss climate change. It’s exactly what you deserve, Julie.

The bitterness is palpable, and wonderful to behold.

The pond could almost forgive Malware for getting so many of the reptiles so agitated so quickly and keep them in the same state as a rancid barrel of cheese.

Perhaps the only other one to manage it in recent times has been the socialist greenie Pope.

What's that you say?

Oh dear, immortality and eighteen holes of golf with St Peter must be weighing on the Chairman's soul ... but after a life of wickedness, is there still hope? Perhaps the entire company might switch to saying prayers so that the time in purgatory might be shortened ...

And so to the grand news:

Well yes, Moorice got that right, and the pond got the answer to its question - how long would this turkey last in the new regime? - a little quicker than expected.

Ah, that labour market flexibility will get you every time ... but look, there they are together ...

Oh you have to laugh, especially at Campbell Newman's sudden belated realisation that calling Julia Gillard a witch was a little on the nose ...

Must have a book to flog.

Meanwhile, that song keeps running through the pond's head, and we just can't shake it:

Did I ever tell you you're my hero? 
You're everything, everything I wish I could be. 
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle, 
for you are the wind beneath my wings, 
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings. 
 Oh, the wind beneath my wings. 
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings. 
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high. 
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings. 
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings. 
 Fly, fly, fly high against the sky, 
so high I almost touch the sky. 
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you, 
the wind beneath my wings.

The pond is almost prepared to forgive Malware for his many digital crimes, if only for the pleasure of seeing Moorice dumped, though Moorice probably thinks it's part of an international conspiracy and has something to do with Julie Bishop scoring a meal at the UN ....

And then there's the Bolter and the Devine and that bitter Bolter lite, little Timmie Bleagh, and the whole pack of them rushing off to join Pauline Hanson's party ... because she's a true librul ...

It's such a hoot, and none of them with the wit to think for a nanosecond of the real cause of all their problems ...

In which the pond reflects on the dog botherer reflecting on the ABC in a way that quickly results in this post-modern referential reflectism disappearing up its fundament ...

(Above: and more Wilcox here).

And so it comes to pass that on Mondays the dog botherer now reflects on the ABC, which means the pond must reflect on the dog botherer's reflections ...

Now it takes a little time for the dog botherer to get going, because at the front of the piece he purports an objectivity and modesty aimed at disarming critical responses.

No egotist is the dog botherer ...

But soon enough the ego begins to creep out like a little hoppy toad, with ostensible confusion a handy cover for berating the Turnbullians now rife within the ABC ...

Yes the Turnbullians lurk at every point on the ABC compass, and never mind the dog botherer's own relationship to Malware back in the past.

And after that set of backhanders, who could possibly say that the dog botherer is jaundiced? You might well suggest it, but the pond couldn't possibly comment ...

And now, as a special bonus, the pond would like to recycle an item some specialists in reptile handling might have missed ...

What a tremendously beguiling set of splashes ...

                  

   
And after the potent lure comes an even more potent tale of woe and disengagement and alienation.

Yes ordinary people have been sidelined. What a compelling tragedy. No chance for a decent flourishing form of homophobia these days it seems, and other societal fundamentals of the golden years of Catholicism and the 1950s ... or if more ambitious, the fourteenth century ...

What a tragedy that we've lost the Abbott, and now must settle for Malware:

Once again the pond was almost in tears at the sight of the sad, forlorn reptiles stumbling around in chaos and confusion.

How badly does it go? Well the reptile wars are everywhere now, and Twitter a field of hotly contested bitterness ...

Happy times once ...

Now savagery at ten paces ...

Long may it continue ...

In which the pond awards a very special man the very special royal order of the most worshipful budgie smuggler ...

(Above: there's a new recipient of the royal order of the budgie smuggler hovering into view today, and instead of the usual link to Rowe's cartoon gallery at the AFR here, where today he deals with Syria, we should mention that Rowe is also at Twitter here).

Sheesh, the pond takes a very short break amongst the radicalised 'roos and the wobblies, albeit of the wombat and the wallaby kind, with the alternative music pounding away, and what do the reptiles do but bung on a giant-sized do?

Best of all, the man who announced he wouldn't indulge in wrecking, undermining, sniping, leaking, backgrounding or white-anting of any kind, couldn't help himself and neither could the reptiles of Oz:

He (Abbott) emphasised that no one had raised policy changes with him during the leadership challenge. “The fact that the new Prime Minister and the new Treas­urer are saying exactly the same thing today that the former prime minister and former treas­urer were saying only a fortnight ago shows that we got it right,” Mr Abbott said . 
“Interestingly, just as nothing has changed on economic policy in the last fortnight, nothing’s changed on climate change policy in the last fortnight, nothing’s changed in respect of same-sex marriage in the last fortnight and nothing’s changed in respect of border protection in the last fortnight, and I don’t imagine anything will change in national security policy more broadly.”

And so on, as the mad monk managed to sound like a Labor stooge trotting out the current line on the Turnbullians ...

It was so obviously a "wasn't I a great PM", coupled with the wrecking ball routine, that the reptiles hastily cobbled together a rebuttal, as did gorgeous George, who turned up on The Insiders to plead that things had changed:

Naturally the dog botherer was on hand demanding fundamentalist rigour, because that's what barking mad fundamentalists always demand:

And Miranda the Devine got herself into the wars by announcing that it was all the work of rough working class slags that they got bashed because gentlemen of an upper class kind never resorted to domestic violence ...

And Akker Dakker took the Abbott line in a way that was as offensive as possible, because when it comes to a hard-line warrior, nobody beats the corpulent Billy Bunter when it comes to pounding the keyboard:

Apparently kumbaya means don't go snorting that line of cocaine ...

And  late last night Paul "the magic water man" Sheehan rushed into print to warn that Islamics were raping the women of Europe, because white men don't rape, oh no they don't, they truly don't ...

And then there was a heartfelt plea of alienation from Angela 'why doesn't everyone have large families like me' Shanahan:

Because, it turns out, the greater populace is actually her spawn, and they're divorced from politics, and that's enough to produce a great keening and wailing about the way that politics is divorced from the Shanahans, who are, let it be said without irony, the greater populace ...

And then there was an anxious Polonius sounding like a Fairfax headline in the matter of the rough Brough ...

                                

And then there was a deeper, unholy fear ...

Naturally George of the deep north was on hand to explain that extreme far right fringe lunatics were his natural constituents and they should be welcomed into the party ...

Truth to tell, the pond was overwhelmed.

Oh sure, the dog botherer is on hand this day to rabbit on about the ABC at interminable and tedious length; oh sure Moorice has turned up, wisely forsaking climate science to go union bashing; oh sure, knowing Moorice wouldn't want to alienate the fraudband man, the Oz editorialist has taken to the keyboard to warn against the devious, clever Chinese and getting sucked into climate science; but the pond realised that it would take a wonderful effort from the leader of the pack to produce a dominating effort, one that would show leadership qualities and stand head and shoulders above the rest ...

Who is that man?

Can the pond give a hint? Lately the Bolter has been in deep mourning. This has led to some classic opening lines:

A true mark of the man. Malcolm Turnbull had just told Tony Abbott he was about to take his job, yet Abbott honoured a promise to meet girl guides rather than hit the phones to save himself.

Cue photos of a total doofus blissing out and doing high fives because he knows know to do it, and surely that's enough to continue the leadership:

And then there were the Bolter thought bubbles that required only a headline to understand. Such as ...

Turnbull: the man Paul Keating wanted to keep in the Liberal party ... which concludes that the general left benefited from this sinister conspiracy by Keating to keep Malware in parliament ...

And Turnbull sells optimism when pain is on the agenda, which is recycled Terry McCrann, a man so foolish that the pond never mentions him ...

And Conservatives should not sell themselves so cheaply to Turnbull, which was recycled James Allan ... say no more ...

And then there was A Ruddy light streams on this government, about a leak celebrating Julie Bishop suddenly scoring a lunch date at the UN to discuss climate change, which concluded darkly, If the UN welcomes you, time to check your bearings ...

And then - let's skip over the bizarre I really like Sam Newman - so we can get to the surly bitterness of China ticks off Turnbull. But media doesn't care because he's not Abbott ...

And then there was the truculent unhappiness of More Abbott achievements now credited to the great Turnbull ...

The pond could sense it was all building, and soon the volcano would go off, spewing grief and bile in good measure ...

Now some will be charmed by the folksy illustration in the Bolter's blog ...

But the pond would like to thank the reptiles of Oz, who have now faithfully taken to regurgitating the words of the Bolter, and in the process provide some splendid illustrations ...

Oh well, it's the HUNsters really, but what a splendid joining in with the 'hanging of the onions' meme of recent times ...

As for the rest, well the pond must bow to the master ...

You can imagine that by this time, the Bolter had managed to induce tears of remorse and guilt in the pond. So much suffering, and all caused by the pond's indifference.

Misty water coloured memories of the way we were ...

Oh sheesh, ye ancient feral cats and wild foxes - the pond saw a few, along with an ambling ant-eater - and the pose alongside a statue of Churchill. 

As if there hasn't already been enough delusions of grandeur ...

Oh yes, surely in time, the great man will be remembered as the Churchill of the antipodes ... as the Bolter's line in alternative history and sci fi takes hold ...

But let us go on ... because surely the girl guides will get another run ...

Yep you can't get a better scribe than that in your corner. 

Now please, no trawling through the archives ...

You see, when he said he was threatened by teh gays, he meant only in the sense that it was a kind of tricky spin bowling, a googly the pond is given to understand, or perhaps a Johnny Gleeson Tamworth special ...

Yes, you need to forget the girl guides, and admire the Bolter's tremendous skill in bowling up such poignant lines as ...

No, the country before politics, he declared. I could have shaken the silly bugger, who played politics like it was cricket when everyone else was cage fighting ...

You know, cricket like this ...

Oh indeed, indeed, real style and a flashing blade and rapier wit. 

The pond had to turn to a cricket expert to help interpret that classic moment, much loved by all who saw it ...

It seems what Tony Abbott was doing that day was a classic display of Bill Lawry skills, though those who don't fancy pigeons apparently might propose he was imitating Trevor Bailey or Geoff Boycott ...

The pond had no idea what it all meant, and had to resort to a cartoon:

Sorry, contenders.

The pond has to award the hagiographic royal order of the budgie smugglers, with bar, to the Bolter.

The man is a cricket tragic of the first water, an exemplar of all who aspire to the tedium of the great game ... and let it be said that he understands and plays the game with all the renowned skill of the Dutch ...

While it's a recognition of great past achievements, it's also an encouragement award. There should be more days like this, more pieces, more keening and wailing, more berating of Malware, more sackcloth and ashes, more doleful tunes about the misty water-coloured memories of the way we were ...

Because cricket might be as tedious as all get out, but when the Bolter steps up to play the game, it produces comedy gold.

Vitai Lampada 
There's a breathless hush in the Close to-night - 
Ten to make and the match to win - 
A bumping pitch and a blinding light, 
An hour to play and the last man in. 
And it's not for the sake of a ribboned coat, 
Or the selfish hope of a season's fame, 
But his Captain's hand on his shoulder smote 
"Play up! play up! and play the game!" 

The sand of the desert is sodden red, - 
Red with the wreck of a square that broke; - 
The Gatling's jammed and the colonel dead, 
And the regiment blind with dust and smoke. 
The river of death has brimmed his banks, 
And England's far, and Honour a name, 
But the voice of schoolboy rallies the ranks, 
"Play up! play up! and play the game!" 

This is the word that year by year 
While in her place the School is set 
Every one of her sons must hear, 
And none that hears it dare forget. 
This they all with a joyful mind 
Bear through life like a torch in flame, 
And falling fling to the host behind - 
"Play up! play up! and play the game!"

Thanks Sir Henry Newbolt. You might have died in 1938, but your vision lives on in Abbott and the most worshipful Bolter ...

And so to a couple of Rowe cartoons from the archive, because they're Rowe, and they resonate with the Bolter's keening and wailing ...

The pond takes a short break, but not before a long bout of tedium with 'Walri' Hunt and the climate denialists of the lizard Oz ...

What a shockingly wrong epitaph.

Why, Tony Abbott stood for copper, and he stood for coal, and he stood for knighthoods and dames, and he stood for Victorian values, and he stood for climate denialism and climate change is crap, and he stood a for socialist warmista Pope swanning around the United States talking up a 'won't someone think of the refugees', anti-capitalist agenda ...

Or maybe not, at least not that last one, but truly shit does happen and to celebrate the pond is taking a short break, knowing that the country is now safe in the very best of hands.

To hammer home that point, the pond would like to draw attention, to anyone who missed it, the appearance of the quisling, walri-hunting Greg Hunt on Lateline last night.

It came after a flurry of stories which showed just how deep climate denialism ran in the Abbott government.

Thanks to the ABC doing an FOI, we got the story Environment Minister Greg Hunt 'killed' idea from Tony Abbott's department for BoM review.

Others picked up the story and ran with it, as at Fairfax with Bureau of Meterology defends climate data after revelations Abbott's department considered probe.

And at the Graudian, with Abbott considered investigation into 'exaggerated' Bureau of Meteorology temperature data ...

Well it's an important skill of the quisling to quell the worst excesses of the fearless leader, and then when the wind blows well, to swing around a little bit ... and Hunt was in fine form on Lateline:

TONY JONES: First of all, is it true that Tony Abbott tried to set up a taskforce to investigate whether the Bureau of Meteorology had exaggerated estimates of global warming? 
GREG HUNT: Look, the question was raised with my department by the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet. I'm honestly not sure of the provenance of that. My answer was very clear: we have perhaps the best or one of the best meteorological organisations in the world. I have full confidence in their data and the idea was killed at that point. 
TONY JONES: Evidently, the idea was inspired by News Limited reports claiming the Bureau of Meteorology was, quote, "Wilfully ignoring evidence which contradicts its own propaganda." Now was there any evidence at all as far as you were concerned that the reports of the Bureau of Meteorology were propaganda? 
GREG HUNT: No. And I've had full confidence in what I think is a world-class organisation which is based on hard science, hard data, literally millions of points of information through our satellite and our local monitoring. And I reaffirmed that and an idea which came to my department from another department was killed off, and frankly, my view was crystal clear. There was no need for such a review because there had already been the periodic normal review which found that their practices were sound, scientific and of the highest calibre. 
TONY JONES: OK. Briefly, one last question on this: are you relieved to be out of a political environment where, let's say, climate change scepticism was rather persistent? 
GREG HUNT: Oh, look, I respectfully don't accept that background. I've been given support by successive leaders. I've been able to work tremendously well with Malcolm Turnbull in the past and only today we met for an extended discussion about the broad direction on the new cities agenda and climate change. He and I share a passion on that. So I've been fortunate to have a series of supportive leaders and now we have somebody who has a deep, strong passion for renewables. We share that passion and I think that that will add additional confidence to the sector. 
TONY JONES: OK. Given what you just said, another consequence of the switch to Malcolm Turnbull is that both the Clean Energy Finance Corporation and the Australian Renewable Energy Agency have been put under your authority. Are you going to nurture them or kill them off 'cause that was the original plan of the Government? 
GREG HUNT: Well I do want to work constructively with them and my goal and I know that the Prime Minister's goal is to integrate their work so we have the Emissions Reduction Fund working with the Clean Energy Finance Corporation and Arena, we have the Renewable Energy Target under the Clean Energy Regulator working with the Clean Energy Finance Corporation and Arena. And I have already spoken with the chairs of each of those two bodies and tomorrow I'm due to meet with the chair and one of the board members early in the morning. So, we're right on to early action. And from here, what is this about? It's about making sure that we get the best possible mix of emissions reduction technologies and renewable technologies and that as a consequence, we're able to do as much as we possibly can as part of the global task of reducing emissions. 
TONY JONES: So can we put it this way: the war on renewables is now over?
GREG HUNT: Well, from my perspective, there never was a war on renewables, but what I would say is that we've got a big challenge to double our renewables in terms of the large scale between now and 2020 and to pretty much double our small-scale solar between now and 2020. But I think there will be additional confidence added confidence about an iron-clad commitment to the renewable energy targets which we now have, which not only is my view, it's not only Malcolm Turnbull's view, it's also the Energy Minister Josh Frydenberg's view which he has expressed this week as well.
TONY JONES: OK. Alright, we've got a bit of ground to go over, so a couple of quick answers on these ones. Is there a possibility you might lift the ban on the Clean Energy Finance Corporation investing in wind technology? 
GREG HUNT: Sure. So our commitment to the Senate, which certainly holds, which I would never break, was to have the Clean Energy Finance Corporation focus on emerging technologies. That was its purpose and its intention. We will still work towards it focusing on emerging technologies and innovative actions. One thing that they have just done is put out a new round for solar financing, which I think is a good sign and perfectly appropriate. 
TONY JONES: OK, but briefly, are you gonna lift the ban on wind technology, investments on wind technology? 
GREG HUNT: I don't want to get ahead of myself here because I am going to meet with the chair and a board member tomorrow morning and then we'll have discussions ... TONY JONES: So you're not philosophically opposed to that possibility? 
GREG HUNT: No, I've never been philosophically opposed to those questions. It's all about the most effective renewables, but remembering this: that the purpose of the finance corporation, indeed, as Tony Wood said in your introduction, was to focus on emerging technologies and certainly I think that's appropriate, fair and reasonable as a - an investment of taxpayers' funds.

And so on and so forth, and there's more in the transcript at the ABC here.

But what set the now departed fruit loop off on his paranoid, conspiracy-theory based, quixotic attempt to tilt at statistical windmills?

Well everyone knows Moorice's sterling work for the lizards of Oz - how long will he remain in his current position? - but credit where credit is due.

The phrase quoted in all the above stories come from Graham "the fog of climate war" Lloyd, scribbling back in August:

Because talking of Orwell and 1984 is eminently scientific and rational, and a logical and coherent way to frame a debate, much as the pond is fond of talking of Goebbels and radio and propaganda when discussing climate science ...

On and on Lloyd went, transcribing the argument, purely in the interests of presenting both sides of the story, and because the Sydney Institute is the real home of climate science:

And what was the end result of all this blather?

Well Tony Abbott decided to organise a witch hunt into BoM because deep in his heart he remained a dedicated climate denialist, and a conspiracy theorist open to the latest conspiracy theories being spruiked by the reptiles,  showing just how effective was the climate denialism routinely featured in the pages of the lizard Oz, thanks in no small part to the diligent and valiant efforts of the likes of Moorice and Graham Lloyd ...

The question now is whether we will begin to see a diminution of the scare mongering and the seizing on minor bits of humbug and the work of denialists, now that there's a PM who accepts the science of climate science, and not the talk of George Orwell, and has taken the keys, not to the Lodge, but to his Point Piper home ...

And a further question is just how much the quisling Hunt can now pretend that he was on board with the climate science all along, and like Speer, did the best he could to stop the worst excesses of his paranoid, conspiracy theorist master ...

Who knows, but now the pond is off for a short break, ready to enjoy the splendid Australian bush. We might also listen to a little alternative music as we drive.

Now the pond realises this is the dangerous first step towards an alarming and irreversible radicalisation, but like moths we're drawn to the flames ...

And so to a few memes ...

And speaking of dangerous radical liars prone to rough gruff criminality, as the pond sometimes does ...