In which the pond carries on with Killer, conducts the war on China with the bromancer, and settles for some cartoon advice ...

 

 

The pond had wanted to start its day in the usual Thursday way with a compare and contrast as to what it was missing, but alas and alack, only one was left standing ...

 

 

 

 

Admittedly the pond gets on with it early, so it can go on to other things, but this time the early bird entirely missed the petulant Peta worm ...

Where has she gone, why is she missing, does anyone care? Have the reptiles sent out a petulant Peta search party?

Not to worry, the pond won't miss her, because she'd be banned if she hadn't disappeared, and besides there were the usual reptiles cavorting about, and the pond could settle for that, and who better to cavort than the Killer, keeping strange company in the standard Killer way ...

 

 

Just the headline is something to cherish ... top Trump medical adviser. 

It's a bit like top Trump steak, top Trump university, top Trump casino, top Trump bankruptcy ... plenty of toppings, all sauce and no sausage ...

 

 

The pond is aware that Atlas has shrugged and has a new book out, and you can read about it at the Graudian in Former Trump adviser claims to 'expose unvarnished truth' of Covid in new book ...

But for those who never knew or cared about this four month wonder boy, please allow the pond to head off to NPR for a slice of this ...back when he was resigning after four months of sublime incompetence in keeping with the mango Mussolini's style ...

 

 

And so on and so on, and inevitably the pond was reminded of this cheat sheet ...

 

 

 

 

It was taken from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, but now the pond must get back to Killer for a final gobbet ...

 

Indeed, indeed, and in the end, the pond couldn't help but think of this Killer cartoon ...

 

 

 

 

So what else is happening in reptile la la land in the digital edition?

 

 

 

With a sigh verging on a sob, the pond realised it would have to deal with another outbreak of paranoid bromancer hysteria ...

Best get it over with quickly ...

 

 

 

 

The pond has been down this path so many times before, it feels it could write this sort of screed in its sleep, and possibly the bromancer does too ...

 

 

By golly, each time the bromancer sounds more and more desperate about the coming war with China by Xmas ... and things just keep on getting worse ...

 

 

 

Indeed, indeed, and perhaps the only solution is to quickly add a billion people to the population of Australia. What could go wrong, where's the harm in that? Quick reptiles, insert a click bait video to help the bromancer out ... because right at the moment he's deeply unfathomable ...

 

Indeed, indeed, so after devising a defence strategy to sort out Iraq and Afghanistan, after those sortings and unparalled triumphs, it's time to sort out China by Xmas ... quick, reptiles, another click bait video to help out ... and make sure it features the mutton Dutton in full brave 'take that SloMo' warrior mode ...

 

 

The pond was both moved and inspired by yet another lecture from the warrior bromancer, organising things from his leather chair, perhaps a fine port to hand, but it wasn't quite what the pond needed as padding for its cartoons of the day ...

 

 

Ah just the thing, simplistic Simon reporting for duty to talk up SloMo and ponder the ineluctable mysteries and ferret through the runes and entrails for signs of hope, as assorted rats leave the ship ...

 

 

Excellent, just the sort of soft, speculative padding the pond was looking for as a pillow for its immortal Rowe for the day ... (with more immortality to hand here) ...

 

 

The 24 hour spin cycle! And what a relief that simplistic Simon kept his 'splainin short, so there'd be only a quick jump to an infallible Pope for the day ...

 

 

Oh it's all looking good, but is it looking as good as an infallible Pope?

And that in turn gave the pond a chance to celebrate old images ...

 

 

 

And humbly offer some gentle advice to SloMo...

What he needs to do is sit down with his abundant, quota fuelled set of female colleagues and give them a quiet word of encouragement and a gentle, encouraging pat on the back (no, no, the pond didn't say a pat on the bum) ... he'll need them, if the bromancer is to get his war with China by Xmas ...

 

 

 

 

 

In which the rptiles refuse to think of the wombats ...

 

 

Forget the war with China and saving Taiwan.

There's a new slogan at the lizard Oz. First kill all the wombats ...

 

 

The pond has no idea why the reptiles decided to take a set against saving wombats, though the pond will admit that hitting a wombat is akin to running a vehicle into a brick dunny ... and to be fair, the other illustrations for the lizard Oz editorial, suddenly at the top of the rotating digital edition, were just as weird ...

 

Yes, the pond gets those sinister stock snaps, but what the fuck's that guy doing waddling towards Coles with a shopping bag? What does that reveal about the tyranny of fringe parties, as opposed to say the tyranny of Coles' stocking policies, shelf space and pricing?

And the front page of the tree killer edition was equally and astonishingly as newsworthy ...

 

 

 

 

 

What unremitting, unmitigated sluts they are ... in the original, unreclaimed, non-feminist sense of the word, taking Clive's cash in the claw, selling their news soul to Zoom ...which makes it all the more amusing that such a useless lizard Oz editorial should lather up itself into a righteous indignation in the cause of the latest bout of comrade Dan bashing ...

 

 

 

 

You know, the pond doesn't mind minority parties with causes, and while not always agreeing, enjoys the diversity and the vibrancy, as opposed to the dour one party state the reptiles yearn for, and almost achieved with the mango Mussolini.

 

In particular, the pond has a sneaking regard for wombats and is always pleased to see one, and takes care when spotting one on the road, but after that flurry of reptile tosh,  the pond would probably draw the line at a campaign suggesting we save the reptiles ...

 

Everyone has their breaking point, and the prospect of facing a "Ned" natter on a Wednesday was probably it for the pond ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not another snap of gold standard Gladys ... and yet on the upside, the always verbose and pompous and portentous "Ned" has kept it relatively short, and there's not even a hint of a sideways glance at a podcast featuring "Ned" reading himself. Did the reptiles become aware this was just bizarre fluff-gathering for a Chicken Little always hand wringing and shouting at clouds?

 

 

 

Indeed, indeed, where's the harm in a little pork barreling, or having the odd fuck with a man intent on feathering his own nest and the nests of his constituents? And how shamelessly the hapless Obeid family have been treated ... which is why this reptile item barely raised a pond eyebrow ...

 

 

 

 

 

Every so often a little hoppy toad pops out in the reptiles' news section, but don't expect "Ned" to notice or to care, because boondoggling and pork barreling is a way of life ...

 

 

 

 

 

The pond invites anyone with an hour to spare to run that last line over and over again through the old noggin, in an attempt to understand why "Ned" thinks discussing corruption is more satisfying than actually doing something in the institutional way about corruption. 

 

Sure, nothing much might happen, given the deep corruption and addiction to lying embedded in the current government, but something's better than nothing ... though "Ned's" line does hint at why we've ended up with this cartoon ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so to a last gobbet from "Ned" ...

 

 

 

That last par is just as weird as the rest of "Ned's" offering, because he spent much of his time siding with gold standard Gladys and demonising ICAC ... only to warn SloMo of the folly of doing so ...

Weird shit, and so to the rest of the day's weird offerings ...

 

The bouffant one in a lather about an obscure report that didn't stray anywhere near "Ned's" keyboard?

Oh that one ... so the pond just wasted another start to the day with an out of touch "Ned" ... and as for all that ongoing blather about the war on China, the infallible Pope had a different question this day ...

 

 Sheesh, more headline reading for the pond ...

 

 

Time to seek shelter with the Jesuits ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spoiler alert ... it seems, judging by the four comments that turned up when the pond was reading, that Frank is preaching to a divided reptile house ...

 

 

 

 

 

Indeed, indeed, Adam and Eve, complimentary women, creationism and such like, not to mention Islam, they all deserve government cash in the paw ... but as you might expect, someone trained in the art of Jesuitry is a bit more clever in his arguments ...

 

 

 

 

Those few religious zealots? But billy goat butt, we currently have a speaker in tongues and a healer with the laying on of hands in charge, and not so long ago we had a fundamentalist onion muncher ...

 

Perhaps there are a few more of them about than Frank acknowledges, and a lot of them seem to turn up for succour and a friendly hearing at the lizard Oz ...

 

 

 

Yes, you can drive a truck through this blather about an "ethos", and reasonable and proportionate discrimination, and all the rest of the tosh, and the bigots will go on doing what they've always done, but with just a little more protection ... which no doubt suits the Catholic church ...

 

 

 

Note how the cunning Jesuit has picked out "highly conservative or evangelical schools", and proffers the notion that staff selection should not be on the basis of sexual orientation ... and yet here's what you sign up for when you get entangled in the Catholic system ...

 

 

 

 

Yep, you're not in the business of education, you're in the Catholic propaganda game, propping up the ponzi scheme courtesy of government taxpayer money in the paw, and no amount of blather about religion and believes being caught rather than taught can hide the nakedness of purpose ...

And so to a bonus, and the pond, running long, almost thought it would drop Dame Slap, but then old tribal loyalties kicked in ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's important to be reminded of the IPA view of the world every so often ... or so the ABC seems to think by routinely inviting on the likes of John Roskam ...another reason why the pond will never watch Q and A, especially when they serve up this sort of twaddle as part of the show's promotion ...

 

 

 

Widley regarded as Ausralia's foremost free-market think tank? Who is this 'widely'?

 

So what's the foremost want to do to the ABC?

And so on and on, and sorry, sorry, the pond was supposed to be dealing with the handsomely paid Dame Slap railing at equal pay, when thanks to a decent religious education, we know complimetary women should really be in the home, with the possible exception of Dame Slap ...

 

 

Hmm,how as that campaign been going these past 50 years? Maestro, could we have a colourful graph, perhaps not full Kohler, but choleric enough ...

 

 

 

 

 

There's more here, but it's back to Dame Slap ...

 

 

 

 

 

Visiting planet Janet these days seems like a time travel ride back to the 1950s ... the arguments are all the same, and male-centric.What if a man decided to fully participate in the raising of his spawn? Would he suffer by way of discrimination and pay cuts?

Who knows, because Dame Slap is a '50s sort of gal ... routinely alarmed by activists ...

 Oh there could be worse things. There could be meddling journalists in an interfering unelected radicalised social engineering activist way in a dangerously radicalised unelected newspaper, trying to change the world by brazenly peddling IPA theories, and without even the decency to mention her status as IPA chairman in the visible bit of her thumbnail bio ...

 

But then the IPA has long been at this game, and in an equal opportunity, unelected, radicalised, offensive way ...

 

 

 

 

That was just another example of crocodile tears from interfering unelected radicalised social engineerng activists ... but at least, thanks to the immortal Rowe, the pond can end on its usual high, with more highs here ...