In which the pond wilts as the Major mounts a squawking litany and the Oreo goes full shill ...

 

 

 

What with the war in Ukraine and the reptiles switching into high gear election mode without bothering to wait for an election date to be declared, the pond has tended to drift away from its herpetological studies, especially as the reptiles will be cranking into high gear in the coming weeks, desperate to save the hide of the liar from the Shire ...

So we're going to see more and more reptile headlines of the kind out and about this morning in the lizard Oz ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, not content with filling Sydney with half-arsed towers that fall apart before they're finished, the builders are on the move in reptile la la land...

The pond's ennui also extended to the digital edition, what with mean girls being given yet another run, and the commentary section a dismal sight ...

 

 

 

 

Once upon a time, the pond would have been roused by Mr Irrelevance turning up in the lizard Oz, but he's so late to the war, what's there to say? Is there a white feather in the house for the onion munching irrelevance, or at least the noisy mynah bird? And the noisy Jennings bird was adding to the cacophony, while Simon was saying "don't look at me and Bid for a conflict of interest, look at me pumping life into the liar from the Shire". 

Throw in the craven Craven giving Will Smith a belated slapping, and the pond almost began to yearn for the Caterist on a Monday...

Almost. 

Let's not get carried away into existential absurdity just yet, but it was with a weary sigh that the pond trudged off to inspect the squawkings of that unruly bird, the Major Mitchell ...

 

When it comes to disinformation spreading online, the reptiles always act as if the Major himself, and all the other reptiles and Faux Noise and Tuckyo Carlson aren't somehow part of the online game, and actively busy spreading disinformation and conspiracies, as if to prove that Moonfall isn't a really silly movie... (no wonder Kermode called it the worst movie he'd ever seen, yet somehow engaging in its absurdity, much like the Major) ...

The pond knew immediately that the Major would at at some point get very defensive about his own penchant for disinformation when it came to climate science, and knew it needed a distraction.

Usually the pond would leave First Dog alone, but when it comes to observations about the reptiles, the pond is always willing to make an exception ...

 

 

How could the pond resist the ongoing celebration of larrikin Lachy and his wise words, as recently featured in the pond?

It gave the pond the strength to carry on with the Major, what with freedom ringing in the pond's ears worse than the bloody tinnitus ...or having to neuter reptile click bait videos about fragile children ...

 

Ah, right, it's going to be one of those Major litany efforts, wherein the Major lists off an endless string of grievances ...hacking them together in the way master hacks do, in lieu of anything new ... 

The pond immediately turned the rest of that First Dog, which can be found running wild and free and in complete form at the Graudian ... because we can never get enough of larrikin Lachy, the Major's master ...

 

 

Ah, climate change, the perfect introduction and segue back to the Major, worried that the Fletch might interfere with the reptiles spreading disinformation, parroting nonsense or enabling conspiracy theorists ...

 

What's funnier? Elon Musk giving "serious thought", or the Major trotting out the usual guff about climate science? 

Yet again the pond was reminded of those five stages, as noted here back in 2021 ...

 

 

 

 

The Major's in there somewhere in that list, but steady prof, the pond must draw the line at calling the Major "very clever" ... though the pond will admit that he's capable, like any good parrot, of endless repetition ...

And speaking of endless repetitions, why was the pond surprised when this Major litany did a shift from climate to race, in the Major's usual coal seam way, because he's a flighty bird who finds it hard to settle?

 

 

Ah, good old Thomas, beloved of Claremont and Hoover and so silenced he has his own tribute Twitter account wherein you can read such visionary insights as this ...

 

 

 

 

Indeed, indeed, and yet Thomas, someone pays the Major, and what a pretty bird he is, with his plumage so bright and gay. Who could it be?

And so to the Oreo, because that's all there is this day ... and what's worse, the reformed, recovering feminist is now in full campaign mode for the liar from the Shire ...

 

 

Some might ask why even a reformed, recovering feminist would shill for a fundamentalist liar who'd abandon his fundie mates quicker than you could sing out loud Hillsong or shaft anyone standing in his way, and currently making headlines elsewhere ...

 

 

 

 

 

 The most vicious in 40 years?

And that's when the pond realised getting through the campaigning Oreo could be a doddle ... just throw in a few interstitials as a distraction ...

 

Alternative truth? Why that was just a short hop and a jump to alternative banking with Crikey, dead to the pond except when it comes in handy by featuring two rogue birds of a feather ...

 

 

 

 

Oh that's exceptionally rich, and as well as that, evidence was offered that Scotty from marketing didn't really need the Oreo going the full shill ... he had a fourteen year old to help him out ... because nothing says truth merchant like ducking the ABC and giving a 14 year old a solid twenty minutes ...

 

Amazing scenes, and good luck to the 14 year old, but for the liar from the Shire, any port in a lying storm.

Oh okay, okay, the pond hasn't forgotten, the pond will finish off the Oreo with her final gobbet, but still insists those distractions came in handy as the reformed, recovering feminist goes full shameless shill ...

 

 

Astonishing really, a reformed, recovering feminist celebrating the fundie from the Shire and his record on women, but the pond is always up for a contribution to Ripley's ...

And with that task finished, time for a redemptive Rowe, with more Rowe redeeming here ...