In which, irritated beyond measure, the pond prepares to make demands on the reptiles ...

 

 

What is it with the reptiles? 

Why do they keep haunting and taunting the pond? 

The pond just wants to keep tootling, wombling and gamboling free ... so much freedumb to enjoy ...and yet the reptiles keep turning up like bad 1931 pennies.

Incidentally you can pick up a used 1931 penny for c. $250, while an average condition 1930 penny might set you back c. $15-20k. (Extra fine think $45k plus). No wonder the pond was beguiled by the notion of pennies to heaven ...

But back to the reptiles, and the pond will be making a remarkable demand on them this day at precisely 4 pm, an offer along those immortal lines, "beautiful paywall you have there, shame if something was to happen to your paywall ..."

Of course it's a troll and a tease, but the pond has been profoundly irritated by reptile behaviour of late. There needs to be some discipline, there ought to be discipline.

Meanwhile, some might still be stuck back there on the wisdom of the pond comparing them to a 1931 penny? What about a worn 1911 penny, which might only cost a couple of bucks, not nearly enough to keep up with inflation?

Take the completely valueless and worthless Polonius, featured the other day in Crikey ...

 

 

 

Sheesh, Guy, leave the poor old dog alone in his dotage ... there's nothing worse than a pedant being shown how to do proper pedantry ...

And what about the oscillating fan, what's going on there? 

The pond used to ignore the oscillating fan when visiting the lizard, because he'd clearly sold his soul to the reptiles for a mess of pottage, and was deeply riven by guilt and by a bad case of both siderism, though really of a Speer kind ... you know, ignore the horrors around you and cling to your academic credentials, and yet really, as a lickspittle fellow traveller, is there any real difference?

But even the pond couldn't help but notice the fuss the oscillating fan created around Grace Tame. 

Her thought crime? Looking unhappy turning up to a bash, shaking the PM's paw, taking part in a photo op, giving a glare evoking some suggestion of eternal damnation and hellfire, and then slinking off ...

 

 

It was a damn sight more grace than the pond could have summoned when dealing with a natural born liar, with that constant ingratiating, grating smug smirk on his dial ...

The pond would likely have wanted to wipe his clock with some Windex ...

If that's  a thought crime worthy of the oscillating fan's ire, what to make of Melania?

 

 

 

 

Some days she looked like she was attending a funeral, or her cat just died. Or was there something worse? Like living in an enduring hell?

But the oscillating fan couldn't be tamed and went on a rampage, got chewed out on telly and then admitted some regrets. 

Meanwhile, as cheeky as you like, he stood up and called out the smirking liar as a complete psycho. When the pond last checked on that story,  he'd dropped our badly tarnished gold standard Gladys in the poo, but left the (male?) minister unnamed ...

 

That's from Yahoo News, and as an aggregator there's no point providing a link, but the pond did so love that snap they used to show the fan in fine feral form ...

A couple of things here. 

Grace Tame needs to take a few lessons from the master when it comes to petulant behaviour in public.

Sure, the pond thinks SloMo is a complete psycho, especially as he speaks in tongues to imaginary friends and thinks the rapture is around the corner. 

But in polite company surely it would have been proper to question his psychopathy in a more structured, clinical way, not relying on a text message, but on proper analysis.

Are you aware that a colleague has diagnosed you as "suffering from a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, and poor behavioral controls, commonly resulting in persistent antisocial deviance and criminal behavior" would have been the way the pond would have framed it.

But back to the fan having regrets ... this was in the Graudian ...

 

"I can just think it?': Peter van Onselen admits controversial Grace Tame column was 'probably unnecessary ...

Think is probably too strong a word for the foolish fop, because yesterday another story broke, and after that talk of "if it's someone you know" took on a completely different perspective when the pond took a squizz ...

 

Okay, okay, fair cop, that mauve tinge gives the game away, the pond will admit to taking a dive into the story in the Herald, but as it's before the courts, they can do what they will, and let it play out which ever way the court decides ...

But dammit, what is it with the attention-seeking oscillating fan? Are we witnessing some kind of crack-up as big as the ritz, if the pond might mangle a few Scott Fitzgerald titles?

Even worse, the pond had an entire blog lined up, flung into complete chaos by the oscillating fan's persistent attention-seeking.

The pond had wanted to do a compare and contrast of this ...

... with this example of a conflict of interest and damaged credibility by another smirking ponce ...

And the pond had lined up a piece from The Spectator.

The gag was tht the Speccie piece had been scribbled before the latest news about Boris, and held out hope that the Big Dog might yet survive.

It was going to be intercut with the latest John Crace piece post the fall ...

Dammit, all the pond can offer is the detritus, a short gobbet of Crace, because you see, that was yesterday ...

 

 

... and already there's a today ...

 

 

 

And so on, and the pond barely had time to note other joyous follies of the Churchillian kind ... as celebrated in full here, as annotated here by the pond in case anyone missed it, because it featured a Churchill impersonator, which some might think of as Boris, except who could believe the hair, and does it get weirder than this, except perhaps for a wax museum or a Disney animatronic speaking President?

 

Spoiler alert, forget cancelling the dead, this was the punchline ...

 

 

 

Dammit, the carefully curated Speccie mob piece by the impeccably named Katy Balls just had to be left dangling ...

And the pond had wanted to snip the entirety of this story ...

 

 

 

 

It was a ripper, and exactly the sort of thing you might expect in a country run by a horrible man, a complete psycho, speaking in tongues to imaginary friends about the wickedness and the eternal damnation of gays ...

 

By golly,  they don't make 'em like that any more, except that they do ... and a snip at c. $12,600 which the pond might otherwise have spent on an expensive ancient Australian penny ...

 

 

The pond would have liked to have spent more time with the bigots, but the reptiles had intruded and the intrusion had completely ruined the pond's day ...

The oscillating fan has a lot to answer for, and yes, the pond rates his occupancy of this blog posting as among the highest thought crimes in the land.

Tthat's why at precisely 4 pm today, the pond is going to make its demands on the reptiles known ... and yes, it will involve that famous TV and movie meme, authentication by newspaper ...

And so to end in the usual way, with an infallible Pope, though the pond is holding back a similarly themed immortal Rowe to go with that 4 pm demand ...

 

Doctor, the evidence is in ...  do you have an analysis ...

 

The pond, adopting a guttural Austrian accent that would intimidate Colbert ...

Yas, yas, but vich one are ve talking about?