A double bill of nattering "Ned" and prattling Polonius? They never used to do that in Saturday matinee days ...

 

 

There are times when the pond quails and quivers at the challenge it faces in coping with the reptiles, especially when "Ned" gets to bloviating on a Saturday, with oodles of space and a desire to pontificate endlessly  ...

There are easier ways out ... the pond could have just settled for the usual knob-polishing and arse-licking from Shanners ...

 

 

Just a few words about SloMo's deft touch, and it would have been done.

But the pond is a masochistic, it likes the full five acts of Hamlet tortured and writhing on a spit, and "Ned" is in any case dealing with all that tortures the reptiles at the moment ... look, there it is on the tree killer edition and at the top of the digital page in an EXCLUSIVE ...

And so the pond had no excuse. It had to embark on a journey more challenging than Scott's expedition, and no chance of doing an Oates and stepping out of the tent for awhile ...

 

Ah the good old "climate science is a religion" routine, spoken by one of the pond's favourite loons, and really doing no more than reflecting the lizard Oz's commentary section these past few decades.

"Ned" himself hasn't been above hinting at a little climate scepticism along the way, but alas and alack, times have changed and the simplistic, nay moronic, pieties of Barners don't quite cut it these days, what with there being a shift in the weather, as well as the climate, and poor "Ned" is forced to waste many words explaining the change ...

 

And so the great betrayal, backflip, treachery, begins ... as we move from this ...

 

 

...to "Ned's" tediously diligent explanation that times have changed, and no, the reptiles will not be using that snap or others like it to illustrate "Ned's" turgid, never-ending tale of woe ... though the pond does appreciate him beginning the next gobbet with the onion muncher cracking a joke about "emissions obsessions". (An evocation of the days when emissions would make hairs grow on palms and induce blindness and a feeble mind, as only Catholics and the onion muncher know).

 

Yes the great backflip is coming, and the pond has no idea how the reptiles will cope, except perhaps to hold their nose ... and then change the topic, so that the lesser Kelly might serve as a distraction ...

 

You see, the thing the pond loves is the way that the reptiles have to be dragged kicking and screaming to the point where they might have to disavow the nutters and loons who routinely perform for Sky News and the Murdochian tabloids, and the more outrageous they are - doing a Pete Evans - the more some reptiles love them.

Then poor old "Ned" is forced to drag the entire school into an assembly (luckily not on the hard Tamworth tar) and do a dressing down ...

 

Any balanced conclusion would mention that the lesser Kelly is simply regurgitating stuff he picked up from the States, perhaps as a result of an unhealthy diet of Fox News ... and ditto the climate science.

Poor "Ned" has never been able to cope with the likes of the Bolter and little Timmie Bleagh, and Akker Dakker and Miranda the Devine and all the other denialists inside the tent, and routinely pissing into it, and out of it ... not to mention the way that the lizard Oz itself runs tripe from Bjorn, and Fox News is a Murdochian haven for denialist loons ...who spent four years cheering on the Donald's denialism ...

Luckily the tortured, long-suffering "Ned" is at last winding down, with talk of a global dynamic and such like ...

 

Oh dear, how hard it must be ... from this treasured moment ....

 

... to "Ned's final gobbet, bringing the sad news that the Donald has gone ...

 

Did the pond say it was being masochistic when reading "Ned"? There's also a fair degree of sadistic pleasure to be found, like watching SloMo, and "Ned" and all the other reptiles, writhe on a spit of their own making, as the flames from the burning faggots of denialism rise higher and higher ... a bit like the planet, fucked by their decades of denialism.

And now, for genuine undiluted masochism, the pond must finish off with prattling Polonius ...

Usually the pond saves Polonius for a Sunday meditation, but there was something piquant about this piece ... all the more so because Polonius spent yesterday gloating about the ratings ...

 

 

Polonius still lives in ancient times, apparently unaware that media habits have changed, especially amongst vulgar youffs. You grab your audiences where you find them, and linear strip viewing of the old kind is dead in the water for all the FTA networks ...

Still, the ABC can take some satisfaction in knowing it has one fastidious, nit-picking, pedantic customer who seems to spend all his time watching the ABC so he can write negative reviews.

It's weird stuff, this obsessive compulsive behaviour, perhaps exacerbated by Polonius being dropped from The Insiders. Polonius is a good, slow, relentless hater, in the DLP fashion ...

 

 

 

Downfall? The pond hates to be as pedantic a nit-picker as Polonius, but really 'downfall' is common parlance, and it's turned up since 2004, as in 2019 in the AFR ...

 

 

 

That involved a nano second of googling ... and yet we read the last time we heard "downfall," it involved a German movie in 2004?

 

Why does Polonius scribble such stupid things? Well because he's wearing such a heavy set of ideological blinkers that he routinely sounds stupid, coupled with his monomaniacal obsessive-compulsive attitude to the ABC, which sees him trot out any cheap point-scoring furphy at the drop of a hat ...

 

Will it bring about his downfall? Nope, he's been fucking up for decades.

Never mind, ote that forlorn reference to Polonius's own appearance on the ABC way back in 1994. The poor lad has been experiencing withdrawal symptoms ever since, and oh how the bitterness has grown ...

 

 

Indeed, white supremacists and nationalists had nothing to do with it, and waving a Confederate flag in the riot was just a sign of remembering noble American traditions ...

 

At the end of all this pathetic nit-picking, and a sort of defence of the Donald full of sly innuendo and avoidance of difficult facts, with Polonius trying to explain away all that went down so he could pour scorn on the ABC, the pond began to think that Polonius might be a prime contender to become a follower of QAnon ...

 

 

 

 

 

Completely clueless. As it so happens the pond didn't waste time watching the ABC show, it mainlines its US content from US cable ... but the pond was ever so pleased to see that at the very end, Polonius thought that the USA was in fine shape, and that everything is going spiffingly well ...

 

If only the pond could arrange a blind date for him and MTG, what fun they'd have, with so much in common ... though the pond isn't certain that MTG could cope with all that ABC watching, which is a bit like being devoted to PBS, or even worse, that Brooks-Capeheart segment where even Brooks bemoans the way that the GOP has gone off with the pixies to a faraway land ... but then Polonius himself has long inhabited that land, so perhaps him and MTG hitting it off isn't such a wild hope for an extra marital fling. After all, millions want to settle there, the Devine has gone, others have talked of going, but didn't seem to go, so why not Polonius?

 

And so to a closer thanks to the immortal Rowe, who proudly retweeted this praise for his work ...

 

 

 

 

 

The pond notes some splendid words - disgusting, Red Army Mentality and such like, but the pond's favourite moment came with "You Sir" ...

It raises a technical point - the pond would much prefer "Gad Sir", but will accept "You Sir" as a fine attempt ...

 

And so to the immortal Rowe without a Twitter frame, and what a fine portrait it is, echoing as it does the conundrum poor old pontificating "Ned" explored above ...