In which the pond finally attends to weekend Polonial duties ...

The reptiles, nervous nellies at the best of times, are worried … oh there's still talk of fine dining experiences, but what if things go wrong?

What if Lord Downer's Georgina fluffs it?

Those bloody crows in the hills, fancy getting agitated about a blow-in to a rotten borough when by breeding and entitlement, it surely belongs to his Lordship's family ...

But what joy that this anxiety provides the perfect opportunity for the pond to at last turn to prattling Polonius, spreading kerosene on the tank water to settle the mossies …

Oh dear, the reptiles had a couple of goes at branding the piece, but the pond could sense what was coming, could accept that there'd been good reasons for its dodging of its weekend Polonial duties …

There'd be no berating of the ABC, but instead a mind-numbing insistence on tedious in-house affairs, as if Polonius had decided to match the worst dialogue known to cinema history …

"Supreme Chancellor, delegates of the Senate, a tragedy has occurred, which started right here with the taxation of trade routes, and has now engulfed our entire planet in the oppression of the Trade Federation!" ―Sheev Palpatine (here for those who want to escape the Polonial gravitational force).

Yes, in a galaxy far away it was the trade wars and the clone wars and all that stuff, tariffs and free trade and so on and so interminably forth, but here on earth it's Polonius rabbiting on about the in-house dry v. wet wars …

Oh dear, the pond should have realised that even here the ABC would play a role, and torture hapless Jane Hume, conspiring to produce an audience that would groan at a wet …

And how grim the Polonial prognostication that Malware is in trouble …though the pond confesses to having nodded off during the read, and might well nod off again ...

Now for those who don't revolve anywhere near Polonius's galaxy, a little translation is in order.

Kelly is a boofhead climate denialist head kicker, and the lizards of Oz have recorded the way this mud wrestler, backed by the parrot, loves to get down and dirty … so naturally he's in the Polonial orbit ...

Yes, there's the sort of man you'll find Polonius has got the back of … a conspiracy lover, but also, thankfully, a dinkum clean Aussie coal lover, oi, oi, oi ...

Sheesh, for some reason, the pond feels deeply soiled by all this, but what a relief that at least there's no need for actual science to enter the picture … perhaps instead a Wilcox cartoon, with more Wilcox here ...