The reptiles are in a state of high anxiety this day, and the Major was surprisingly gloomy when let out of his cage … the old bellicosity wasn't in high gear, the age of uncertainty seemed to have arrived.
Oh sure the old enemies were still all around, and required a smiting and a smoting, but saving Malware and returning him to office seemed like it was going to be a big job for the reptiles. The size of the task seemed to daunt the Major …
Naturally this is all the fault of the wicked, dastardly ABC, and so the Major just had to pick up the gauntlet ...
Indeed, indeed, the suffering of the rich invariably moves the pond to tears, as the reptiles patiently explain their endless tales of woe …
What a just and caring man is ScoMo, how he earns the right to appear in a snap, as the Major berates all the usual for failing to see the world through his one good right eye ...
Oh the shameless lickspittle forelock-tugging fellow travellers, this is a job for the Major.
Only he is able to point out the problems with comrade Bill, only he can do the sales job right …
Damn you progressive media, damn you all that it should be the Major who scores the short straw ...
A lot like 2001? So there's still hope, and perhaps victory can be snatched if the reptiles fall to their task with vigour.
But there's that conundrum, what with the government offering big spending, how to run a negative campaign against big spending? How to valiantly fight for the banks and the rich?
Talk about doom and gloom, talk about open questions! Must it always fall to the reptiles to put together a decent negative campaign?
You know, in the interests of fair and balanced reporting (the pond hesitates to use the word 'journalism' in this context), it seems like the Major will have to rally the troops, and the smears will begin to flow.
No doubt the Terror will recycle some of its used Nazi photoshop front pages ...
But will it be enough. This day there were a couple of news stories that added to the reptile sense of gloom.
First the tykes are still restless, and everybody knows how that sets the reptiles off …
Yes, there's nothing like a report commissioned by the archdiocese of Canberra and Goulburn to send the reptiles into a deep funk … and don't anyone dare ask what report would fly in the face of its clients, and suggest they were just a bunch of whiners and whingers?
So there's the suffering of the rich, and the suffering of the Catholics and then that dreadful Queensland woman made it even worse by talking of the preferential suffering of the candidates ...
Sweet mother of treachery, not this …anything but this …no wonder the Major was agitated and uncertain, even though the sweet local lad was made of the right stuff, a ridgy-didge dinkum coal lover, oi, oi, oi ...
The news sent the base into a twittering frenzy ...
There's a lot more, but the reptiles, recognising that they were on a social media winner, kept pumping up the frenzy with a couple of splashes ...
Oh come on Jeff, enough of the paywall trolling.
Isn't it enough that the reptiles are jittery, and in a deep state of anxiety and dread … and the pond grief-stricken at being unable to offer them a smidgin of comfort …
The situation's so desperate the reptiles are giving away Kudelka cartoons explaining why Malware's just the sort of friendly benign presence everyone should want in their lives …
Maj Mitch: "...the government should have used its revenue windfall to pay down the deficit"
ReplyDeleteReally ? The 'deficit' is the shortfall between revenue and expenditure, we "reduce" the deficit, we don't "pay it down". We might "pay down" a debt though, if we see anything too wrong about it. And of course, "paying down" the debt would help to reduce the deficit, so great goodness all round. Perhaps.
And also: "Keating, Hawke and Howard reform era"
What Howard "reform era" ? Imitating Thatcher by using a lucky, and accidental, resources boom to play at vote buying ? Oh yes, some reform that was.
As to Keating and Hawke, the less said about their cardigan-wearers inspired economic 'deforms' the sooner forgotten.
Maj M: "Yet whether the Coalition can put together a negative campaign against a giant increase in the size of government is an open question."
Bring back Dr No ! Tones Y'Abbott is the only hope. Even though, like Beazley in 2001, Shorten is doomed !