In which the pond takes care of onion muncher business and other religious matters ...

The thing is, the lizards of Oz can never get enough of the onion muncher, and every time the pond thinks of dropping him from its banner, the reptiles find a new way to drag him back into the glare of the headlights ...

How slight and inconsequential is this story by the cawing Crowe, yet it added to the onion muncher's on-going presence and greater glory, and was another slash on the cheek of the always jousting Malware ...

Of course the pond can understand.

Who wouldn't enjoy the sight of one of the most malignant toxic egos at work in national affairs warning of toxic egos at work in national affairs?

And to see that the onion muncher was doing this Malware beat up on petulant Peta's programme was too richly ironic and reflexive and post-modern for the pond to ignore ...

Especially when the onion muncher added "Too many people have put themselves first..." while spending endless days putting himself first ...

But at least this day's angle gave the pond a chance to revert to a curious sight yesterday, even if it requires the pond to act like a dog after chewing some Tamworth grass, heading back out in the Tamworth sun to check on its vomit ...

The cheek of the man?

Even better was the rogues' gallery that google provided as they cosy up to the reptiles and the reptiles clutch at google straws to save their business plan ...

Tony Abbott's vacillations leave him at risk of permanent irrelevance?

Lordy, lordy, and there was the pond still with the irrelevant one the prize head of its prize banner collection of cinematic loons ...

Naturally the pond was compelled ...

The pond suddenly felt a deep welling of sympathy for this reptile.

Perhaps he went off the kool aid for the day. Perhaps he stepped out of the Surry Hills bunker for a moment and caught the whiff of reality or a barista coffee of the kind that inner city 'leets so love ...

Perhaps it was just an accumulation, a steady drip drip drip of reading endless stories about the onion muncher, sniping, undermining and wrecking so often that when the likes of the cawing Crowe runs a story these days, he no longer feels the need to remind the world that the onion muncher once said "There will be no wrecking, no undermining and no sniping..."

It must be hard, day after day, to read the rag, even as a form of work, and no doubt the pressure builds up with a head of steam, and then the metaphor snaps and the boiler explodes ...

Of course it's a two edged sword ... the hapless reptile purports to believe in all the nonsense that the onion muncher supposedly celebrates, only to accuse him of failing that particular canon ...

But that talk of the Islamics reminded the pond of another bit of handwringing by the cawing Crowe yesterday ...

Indeed, indeed. All this talk of persecuted Xians, but what if they managed to score the jackpot?

If trained in the school of fair dibs, how long before that sort of religious freedom might lead to sharia law,  the reptiles most favourite nightmare ...or perhaps even worse, to burying spoons in the back garden?

...according to Kashrut, (the laws of kosher), if you accidentally use the meat fork in, say, a bowl of cottage cheese, you are supposed to bury it in the dirt for six weeks. (Or is it six months? I always forget.) The first dozen or so times this happened in my house, when my sister, brother, or I made the boo boo, we were sent out back to bury the sullied silverware. The problem was, nobody thought to mark the grave. The grass would grow. My father, Marty, would mow the grass. The grass would grow again, and the offending flatware would simply be forgotten. I imagine in a few hundred years, interstellar anthropologists will dig up our back yard, scratch their heads, or um, horns, and say, “I wonder why man in the 1970s buried his eating utensils? (here for the Kosher Style laugh).

Never mind,  that's just superstition dressed up as religion, as so much of it is, so it's on with the mild reptile panic attack ...

So that's all the pond has to do?

Shout "the Islamics are gunna get ya!" and the issue of religious freedom will disappear on the wind, and we might remember we live in an ostensibly secular country ...

And as a result we can then get back to the real point of the religious freedom exercise, as noted by the all-seeing, all-knowing Rowe this day, with more of the seer here ... 

Ah yes, the wrecking, the sniping, the undermining ...  but who's that lurking behind the door? Has the onion muncher taken to wearing a dress? Is he transitioning? Or is he just a rat in a rage, emerging from his cage on the left of the page?