Gordon Grech, Michelle Grattan, and the hits and email memories of Malcolm Turnbull ...

On a day when a million sites are comparing the Liberal party to the black knight in the Monty Python sketch ... why do I feel compelled to compare the Liberal party to the black knight in a Monty Python sketch?

Put it another way. Wilson Tuckey wins! Sophie Mirabella wins (and gets to scribble humbug for The Punch in the process, here)! Tony Abbott wins. Nick Minchin wins. Eric Abetz wins. Winners are grinners, so saith the black knight.

Swimming valiantly against this tide of winners hogging the headlines is Michelle Grattan, with Dangerous double life of Grech.

And why not? Sure Malcolm is no longer in the middle, and is in the process of being belted into the outer, but what better time than to indulge in a nostalgic Malcolm hits and memories moment.

So I'm with her. My only complaint is that her story doesn't link to the actual report, which is available here, under the slightly solemn header 142nd Report: Matters arising from the Economics Legislation Committee Hearing 2009 (referred 24 June and 12 August 2009).

What is it with the MSM that won't provide links for fear for a moment that you might stray from their pages, and frolic free on the intertubes?

That said, the report makes for deliciously strange reading, though sadly the email attachments and other documents don't seem to have made the cut.

Amongst the many titillations on offer in the press reporting, some involve John O'Sullivan the chairman of investment banking at Credit Suisse, who also happens to be the partner of one of our favorites on this site, Janet Albrechtsen (and you wondered why she was always writing in rhapsody about the wonders of Australian banks, and the perfect musical harmony of the spheres in the banking sector, except for the off notes introduced by the evil Chairman Rudd).

Here we turn to The Australian's Godwin Grech offered to stay in Treasury as a mole for opposition for a gobbet:

The tabled emails also show that Mr Grech in March promised John O'Sullivan, chairman of investment banking for Credit Suisse, that he would push through a fee arrangement for the investment bank.

"Re fees - what I have in mind is that once Rudd and his hacks sign off on Ford Credit - you and I can change the contract to reflect your preferred fee arrangement and push that through quickly next week."

Mr O'Sullivan is the chairman of the Wentworth Forum, Mr Turnbull's political fighting fund, to which he has donated more than $20,000.

There is no evidence to suggest that Mr Grech was aware of Mr O'Sullivan's links to Mr Turnbull and the Liberal Party before his proposal on March 19 about the bank's fee arrangement for the OzCar fund.

Last night, Mr O'Sullivan declined to comment, citing commercial confidentiality obligations. However, it is understood Mr O'Sullivan asked Mr Grech to cease inappropriate email communication.

Grech's bizarre behavior is only matched by Turnbull's willingness to do the dance, with at least 22 emails and eight phone calls or text messages between November 2008 and June 2009, as Grech fancied himself in the roll of deep throat or perhaps an operative with a James Bond sense of self-importance.

Never mind his delusions, what on earth was Malcolm thinking?

In the ABC's story More grief for Turnbull as OzCar resurfaces, the emails are quoted at some length, including the notion that Australia's treasury belongs on this site, because it's "left wing loony".

Again a couple of gobbets in which Grech acts and sounds like a member of Malcolm Turnbull's staff rather than a public servant:

"Perhaps it is best to meet somewhere private in Sydney this coming week," the email reads.

"I can create a reason to be in Sydney for work, say on any day from Wednesday to Friday to meet up with you and Abetz. Must be very private, we must not meet in PH [Parliament House]."

Another email offers Mr Turnbull political advice.

"Malcolm, thanks for giving me some time on Friday, you looked really good," the email reads.

"As I was trying to say on Friday, and this is not a negative reflection on you, I really don't believe our polling will improve until the punters start to feel a bit of pain."

Grech clearly led a Walter Mitty fantasy life:

"My immediate motivation is to place myself where I think I could be of most valuable to MT [Malcolm Turnbull] and the party," it reads.

"At this stage I am probably more valuable here in Treasury, albeit the personal risks I am taking. I am also doing some fundraising for MT, he tells me that the cupboard is bare."

Ironically Grech even had words for Turnbull in relation to the ETS which has now flung Turnbull into crisis mode:

A couple of days later, Grech was advising Turnbull on strategy for dealing with the emissions trading scheme legislation: ''[S]poke with Sinodinos tonight. He very much agrees with my view that we should neutralise the ETS issue ASAP by supporting Rudd's bill - but by pointing to those areas that we would fix in government.'' He added boldly, ''With Costello out of the way, I think you should press this issue home sooner rather than later.''

Grattan covers the 'punter pain' in more detail with this gobbet:

''Malcolm,'' he wrote on Sunday, June 14, 2009. ''Thanks for giving me some time on Friday. You looked really good. As I was trying to say on Friday - and this is not a negative reflection on you - I really don't believe our polling will improve until the punters start to feel a bit of pain.'' He went on to spell out a ''Punter Pain Profile'' (involving higher interest rates, a weakening labour market and the like). ''Many of these things will come together roughly at once … As for you - you have nothing to prove to anyone. Be true to yourself as much as you can.

''If we can contain a loss to roughly the margin we have now - you will be very well placed in 2012-13. You will still be a prime age for the highest office and can serve at least two terms.''

Oh well, he was after all a public servant, not a Nostradamus or a Rasputin, a sage or a seer. He was just a naughty boy. Eager to fight the good fight against the evil doers surrounding him:

Grech was determined the ''fig leaf'' must be ''stripped away'', and leave Treasury's alleged Labor bias exposed. Writing to O'Sullivan on May 13, he said ''the Treasury Executive Board has very close links with the ALP. It is an arm of the ALP. KH [Treasury secretary Ken Henry] was on the personal staff of [Paul] Keating … He still takes counsel from Keating, who calls him regularly and did so during the Howard years.''

Grech adds he is ''happy to speak with JA [Janet Albrechtsen, O'Sullivan's columnist wife] for background if she wants''.

What a pity JA didn't apparently take up the offer. But what joy that Grech was such an inept operative and spy:

He ended the email saying, ''I am deleting this as soon as I send it through to you.'' Unfortunately for Turnbull, in the age of modern technology, tracks are never completely covered. On the day his leadership was falling apart, the Grech emails were back haunting the unwise Turnbull. But he was probably beyond caring.

Well yes, but what great sport. Sadly the next few days will resemble a bullring, with Turnbull not so much the matador as the bull. No matter how it goes, he will be bloodied, and the gore will spill into the dust. Already the sword is held high, the point between the shoulder blades marked with an invisible X.

Why not instead plunge into the world of Gordon Greech and enjoy those forlorn fleeting Walter Mitty, Don Quixote moments, as windmills are tilted at, and the world seemed so much more innocent ...

Grattan might seem like she's behind the curve, but I reckon she's way ahead of the slobbering, slavering pack full of blather about their their consciences, and their great respect, and their great loyalty, and so on and so unctuous forth and so deviously and deviantly etcetera.

No, way back then we were in a most satisfying James Bond world, not the recent brutal Daniel Craig, not even Sean Connery, but the genteel world of a Roger Moore.

Hang on a sec. Those hi jinks were happening only six months ago. By jingo, the world's turning on its axis faster by the day ... could it be climate change?

(Below: this site has oodles of memorabilia we want to clear fast. Sending your details to our comrades in Nigeria should see prompt satisfaction of your needs from your humble servants at loon pond).