Friday, December 18, 2015

The new business plan model ... zero tax and a fundamentalist Christian crusader war continues ...

A certain observable tendency ...

Well it passes for humour in some quarters and for an on-going tragedy at the pond, but speaking of visual cliches and stereotypes, the pond commends this image from Walkabout to the attention of Mr Leak ...

But enough of good-hearted humour, because the pond's duty is to the reptiles of Oz and their immediate concerns, and as always, their concern is to fortify the rabid and the outrageous. The more the fear and the terror, the more trees can be killed.

None of this cool things down, quieten, settle, get around behind ...

Not bloody likely!

Yep apart from paying no tax - that'd be zilch, zero, nada, nihil, nothing - the business plan relies on prodding the ant's nest, stroking the fires, fuelling the flames and a dozen other stereotypical metaphors that would form the basis for a very funny cartoon about blacks making fire by rubbing sticks together.

Ah, those stone age blacks, so richly comic ...

But the pond got distracted.  Let us return to lizard reality:

No, Australia's tranquility hasn't been jeopardised by the fundamentalist Christian crusaders conducting a war against Islam, without paying the slightest bit of attention to the sizeable mote in their own eye.

Yes, today's bĂȘte noire is a naughty, secretive, furtive military man and spy, down there with that drunkard Spry - and don't expect prattling Polonius to jump in to defend this regrettable military man, as he did with the drunkard Spry.

You know how it goes, almost without needing to read the text, but hey nonny no, never mind, here we go:

Yes, if you make a bleeding obvious point - that Abbott is a disruptive, devious ratbag, using terror as a way of drawing attention to himself, and perhaps in due course using it as the basis for an insurgency which sees him return to power - at the cost of sounding more Hansonite than Pauline - you're sure to cop a shellacking from the reptiles, and satirical comments about the mindlessness of the military.

Of course if anyone else dared to mock the mindless military, they'd be hung, drawn and quartered by the reptiles for high reason, but the wondrous thing about the reptiles is the way they can bite their tail to form a perfect circle of hypocrisy:

Oh okay, the pond was wandering through an old favourite, The Man Who Would Be King last night and getting re-acquainted with the doings of Masons and the Illuminati ...

Ah the Shield, what a way to organise your AV data, except when trying to access fraudband and watch Colbert's current crop of excerpts ...

(Yes the pond subscribes here).

Back to the reptiles, tedious chore that it is, as bad as feeding the chooks on a forty degree day in Tamworth, wherein it will be noted below that the editorialist cites Sheridan who speaks of national security figures but doesn't mention any of their names.

The pond of course talks regularly its own security figure, if only to point out that at the moment the resident rat is eating the slug killer left out in jam jar lids ... perhaps a little rat killer might be more to the point?

We digress, we digress, because staying focussed on reptile rage is so hard ... but it must be done because the country's security is at risk, and somehow it all stems from the Spycatcher trial ...

And there you have it.

As barking mad as a history lesson from old Polonius himself. Feel free to assemble absurdities in whatever Lego patterns that appeal.

For example, as someone who once generated their very own ASIO file, the pond was gob-smacked with awe and admiration at the news that ASIO was and is an apolitical agency.

It's even more remarkable that ASIO could imperil this status by pointing out that the rabid ravings of an embittered PM might be more unhelpful than useful, as might be ranting contributions from Cory, George and others stumbling across an Halal certification authority and into the arms of Pauline ... Oh dance, crusaders dance, dance as if the world might end tomorrow ...

But what was most pleasing to learn was that the reptiles remain on side with a creationist crusader, who in terms of science is as barking mad and as fundamentalist as any Islamic fundamentalist you might care to mention lurking in this fair land ...

And just like this very poor show, the reptiles want the right to continue on their own way, using inflammatory rhetoric and producing bold, divisive front pages ...

All of which reminded the pond of a very useful reader comment ...

If we teach our kids that West is best and to hell with the rest, and Muslim countries teach their kids that Islam is best and to hell with the rest, won't that increase the chance of war between the two? 
Of course if China teaches its kids that Chinese is best and to hell with the rest, we'll all be toast. (sorry, the pond pays no royalties and since we rip off people regularly, we run no advertising either).

And speaking of ex-PMs, and Bill Leak, might the pond note another tendency?

You know, the best place for a woman is on her knees ...

So sad, such a tragedy. And worse, not even funny. As Woody Allen might say,
“There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the cartoons at this place are really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and doled out in such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly, especially if you've wasted time on Bill Leak's cartoons.”


  1. Seems Donelly, Bernadi, Christiansen, Leak etc get their Reclaim Australia racist 'inspiration' from way back. Ellen Sebring uses contemporary cartoons to illustrate this article about "The white man's burden." (Originally from The Asia-Pacific Journal).

    "The wars undertaken in the name of “Civilization and Progress” were more savage, tortuous, and contradictory than is often recognized. And the political cartoons of the time—subjective, emotional, ideological, highly politicized and at the same time, politically diversified—convey this complexity with unparalleled sophistication and intensity."

  2. Replies
    1. Loved that link Anon, and the pay off ...

      Back in 2001, when I was writing the media diary, the editor-in-chief was David Armstrong and the editor was Campbell Reid. Mitchell was back in Queensland editing the Courier-Mail. One week my lead item poked fun at the Herald Sun: “Melbourne’s Herald Sun reported as a front-page lead last week that foreign investors were soon to own $1,000bn of assets formerly owned by Australians. Under the headline Australia Sells Out, Matthew Pinkney wrote, ‘Some of Australia’s best-known brands including Vegemite, Four ‘N’ Twenty Pies, Arnott’s Biscuits and Sherrin footballs are among those lost.’ To that list Pinkney and his editor, Peter Blunden, could have added their own newspaper, the Herald Sun, owned by that well known foreigner Rupert Murdoch.”

      Blunden was livid. By lunchtime I had been dragged into Armstrong’s office and told I no longer had a column. Reid, who hadn’t checked the copy before it was printed, was ashen-faced. They didn’t mention the words I had written; they said it was a “change in direction” for the column. A year later all was forgiven and I got the column back. But I never mentioned Rupert’s name in vain again.

  3. Oh, Ms Pond, an ASIO file!
    So you were not a member of the Liberal Party, or being a Tamworth Ms, the Country Party, back then in the 50/60/70s?
    Just walking into a Bob Gould bookshop was enough to have you followed and photographed for a year.
    Poor chappies managed to miss every right wing terrorist act in those halcyon years.

  4. Many years ago I used to like Leak's work, but he's tirned out to be a CUNT.
    Is he really Pickyourring in disguise?

  5. You'd think they'd pause and think a little before putting their names to those cartoons, wouldn't you?

  6. But, but, billygoat but (as you used to say DP) it is a grave concern!

    1. The pond still says it you billygoat you, and that song reminded the pond of octopus rides at the Tamworth show.

    2. Thanks, DP!! I knew I knew where, but it just wouldn't materialise!! Although in my case it was the Newcastle show.

  7. As Ian Hislop once famously described her, Mother Teresa, 'winner of the All-Calcutta wrinkled old prune lookalike competition 1891', is to be made a saint. Heavens above!

    For an alternative view showing what a hypocritical, greedy and callous old bastard she was, see this Penn and Teller Bullshit episode, Holier Than Thou.

    1. At the risk of sounding like Peter Slipper, perhaps she turned out to be, as Dave C says of Leak, a cunt?


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