It's a big, blockbuster edition of the pond today, even if in the style of the Bolter, it consists of the thoughts of others.
But that's because there's so much deliciousness and irony afloat in the world, and the pond can say that without benefit of a bribe from the federal government.
First there was the wondrous sight of Tony "climate science is crap, it's coal, coal, coal for Australia and the world, I might not know much about science but transubstantiation and eating flesh and drinking blood sounds scientific to me" Abbott slinking off from a press conference, not knowing what to say or do about the heretic Pope who dared to suggest there might be something of concern regarding the crap.
The pond can imagine the singular pleasure, the extreme relish that big Mal experienced talking to The World Today yesterday, and coming out with lines like this:
MALCOLM TURNBULL: I really would commend everyone to read the Pope's encyclical, by the way. I actually, in the very early hours of this morning I read about two-thirds of it and it's a very, very interesting and eloquent document. There's a lot more in it than just discussion of climate change. The Pope speaks in a very thoughtful way about cities, about the environment of cities, about the importance of ensuring that poor people have access to all of the good things in cities and that of course means better transport, better public transport, he cites. It is a very wide ranging document and really goes well beyond what you would normally expect from a, from a Pope, I guess.
That got the pond chortling, but then came the capper:
MICHAEL EDWARDS: The Prime Minister Tony Abbott was asked about the encyclical at a press conference in Cairns this morning. He didn't respond.
KIM LANDERS: Michael Edwards.
That induced a fit of cackles that lasted for minutes. Well played World Today team and today you can hie yourself off to Fairfax to catch up on Government Catholics will give 'great weight' to Pope's climate views: Malcolm Turnbull. (with forced video)
By golly big Mal loves to turn the knife with irony, though it should be noted that the Fairfax piece is really just a gloss on his interview with Michael Rowland on 24, which big Mal made sure would turn up as a transcript on his site here.
At least the Fairfax header was a fair gloss on what big Mal, with the greatest of ironies, had to say:
PRESENTER: ... You’re a Catholic, the Prime Minister of course as we all know is a Catholic. Should therefore you and Mr Abbott give really great weight to what the Pope says about tackling climate change?
MALCOLM TURNBULL: I think everyone will give great weight to it and the Pope of course is one of the great - it's one of the positions of great moral leadership, a position of global moral leadership in the world and drawing attention to these environmental issues – climate change, reducing greenhouse gas emissions is one of them, he also - and I say this as a former Water Minister - discusses very thoughtfully the depletion of fresh water supplies and the pollution of fresh water supplies around the world. It is a very, very wide ranging document. I might say that what the Pope points out in it is that young people have become estranged from, not just from the church, but also from governments and people in positions of power because they feel that their elders are not taking these environmental issues seriously. And I think this is a very, very significant move by the Pope, to make the church and the leadership of the church much more relevant to young people. This is - Pope Francis is a very, very transformative and thoughtful leader.
A very transformative and thoughtful leader! Where does that leave the luddite as he eats his human flesh this Sunday?
Big Mal also had a few words to say about other matters, but let's just summarise them with a Kudelka cartoon, the only possum who seems to escape the morning kool aid drinking session the reptiles conduct each day at the lizard Oz:
That debate produced such levels of monstrous stupidity that Fairfax could in all seriousness propose this as a headline this morning:
Yes, that's a polite way of saying, as you can read in Abbott's crabwalk from new citizen laws, a win for common sense, that Abbott got rolled, but not by acquiring common sense.
The whole game has been the most cynical exercise in politics, and having served its purpose, Abbott can exit, knowing everyone has played his game. The likely result?
The cancellation by ministerial fiat would be final, subject to appeal in the court only in as much as to ensure the minister had observed statutory process.
Cabinet pulled back from that because it would have left people stateless - in contravention of international law.
However, it now appears even its fallback position of applying to dual nationals cannot be drafted in a way as to be legal.
Insiders say bill to be taken to the Liberal party-room on Tuesday, could be as simple as few words updating section 35 of the Citizenship Act, to apply to non-state combatants rather than just "armed forces of another country", or it may increase the ministerial discretion, but with full appeal rights as to the merits of the cancellation - thus setting the court as the final arbiter.
You don't have to read Peter Hartcher here to work out what the whole exercise has been about:
At a time of grave challenges to international order and Australian security, Abbott is not a judicious leader weighing effective policy and seeking united political support.
The Prime Minister is exposed playing a game of chicken. He is daring Labor to match an increasingly hardline series of proposals to try to force Shorten to pull back. There's nothing wrong with taking a hard line against terrorists, but it has to be effective.
The moment Labor showed the least hesitation in supporting a government proposition, even a hesitation aimed at trying to make it workable, Abbott attacked.
The Prime Minister has confected this break with Labor merely to mount a political attack. It's as if he's already written an election campaign line: "Labor welcomes terrorists. You can't trust Bill Shorten to keep you safe." And then pressed and probed to find even the most spurious reason to run it.
A government MP summed up the Abbott priorities: "He wants to keep everyone talking about national security," an area of perceived Coalition advantage, "and wedge Labor" into a losing position. "It's all just politics".
No wonder Abbott has difficulties with the Pope.
There's a cynic, a deeply ambitious and profoundly corrupt man, who's a long way from the moral and ethical duties proposed by the Catholic church, which it could be noted, are an equally far distance from the actual precepts of Christ.
And so, since the subject has turned to morality and ethics, the pond comes to the heavy duty, hard yards component of the day's task.
Sensible people are invited at this point to stop reading, take the dog for a walk, kiss the partner and indulge in some hanky panky, have a nice brunch, make an extra coffee - hey it's the weekend, the nervous energy will come in handy - or just stare at the heater and absorb its infinite wisdom.
You see, thanks to The Australian, the pond can present a wonderful example of moral equivalence, absurd comparisons, and childish rhetoric, showing the infantile bromancer in 'full jockstrap to Abbott' flight.
Let us not dilly dally, you hardened, toughened, chiselled bushmen who have stayed behind, ready to climb the Everest of gibberish. Let us roll up our shirt sleeves or our stockings, crack the Tamworth stock whip, and get into it:
Now don't say you're wilting already. This is a windy exercise in justification, a long and winding road, and that condescending remark about Indonesian coppers is just part of the windy wind-up:
Nauseated yet? Not to worry, there's more, but now we're a long way from ethical base camp, and we are nearing the peak where at last it can be explained that bribery is an ethical and moral good, and Australia may conduct itself like a local Indonesian copper.
Patience is a virtue however. First you must clamber over slippery shale rock and loose snow, cursing Labor all the way:
Indeed. Sophistication is essential, because it turns out morality and ethics have got nothing to do with it.
And now for the coup de grace, the fatuous introduction of a totally irrelevant example which has nothing to do with the issue at hand, but is reminiscent of the logic employed in that ticking clock drama 24, the favourite show for neo-fascists anxious to justify their deeds:
As for Sheridan talking of faux outrage? Fuck him for the faux fuckwit he is.
But wait, there's more. The pond warned the veterans that this would be a long march, longer than chairman Mao's epic wander, done on meagre bowls of rice, and perhaps a few grasshoppers ingested for protein.
You see, cheek by jowl on the reptilian Oz, there was this splash:
Yes even the reptile subs have a sense of irony, and so just when the weary traveller stopped to massage the blisters on the feet, they have to slip back into their Dennis Lillee-approved hard boots, and start all over again, this time enduring a bout of what Sheridan the twit assures us is just faux outrage.
But while we're still at base camp, let's pause for a Wilcox cartoon, and more Wilcox here.
Does Sheridan ever bother to read his fellow members of the commentariat? Okay, that's a bit like asking whether Sheridan has a brain larger than a peanut, or at least a section of the brain that hasn't been overwhelmed by his deep, abiding and enduring bromance.
Never mind, let us leave the rarefied mountain air inhabited by Sheridan, with its breathtaking absence of any understanding of ethics and morality, and its pandering to the hook or by crook, whatever it takes brigade, and plunge back into the murky waters:
Dear sweet long absent lord, someone attend to the reader who fainted then said they were stepping out of the tent for a little while. An actual member of the reptile commentariat scribbling a favourable remark about the unendurable, vile greenies:
But if you made it this far, you surely deserve a medal, and thanks to Leunig, the pond has plenty of stamps to hand - feel free to choose your personal favourite and wear it with pride (and more Leunig here):