Sunday, June 14, 2015
In which, it being Sunday, the pond proudly releases a strategy for foot in mouth disease and climate denialism ...
Yesterday, the pond's bizarre media thrill came when we dropped into a car wash and discovered copies of the Saturday Daily Terror being made available to customers ... presumably of the 351 GT kind.
It was like an intrepid archaeologist stumbling across an ancient tomb in a desert wasteland, this discovery of an actual tree killer edition of the rag, full of useless features and irrelevant advertising, unless you happened to be searching for a happy ending with an escort.
It was a testament to lost days, lost ways, and yet it was a struggle to find ten minutes reading, so we wandered across the street to take a look at NAPF, a store clearly struggling under the weight of the intertubes selling boom.
That only took ten minutes too, and then it was on to the real media thrill of the day, listening to Mathias Cormann mount an heroic defence of his fearless leader's capacity for endless outbreaks of foot in mouth disease, so many and so rampant it seems no doctor will ever find a cure.
DAVID LIPSON: And when it comes to taxpayer dollars, just finally, does is it represent good value for money to be paying people smugglers to turn asylum seeker boats around and go back to Indonesia?
MATHIAS CORMANN: I don’t accept for one minute that that is an accurate reflection of what is happening. I know that you are speculating here in the context of some comments that were made by the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister didn’t say that at all. The Prime Minister has done as he has always done, he has refused to comment one way or the other in relation to operational matters related to our successful efforts to stop the boats. The Minister that deals with these matters on a day to day basis is the Minister for Immigration, Minister Dutton. He has provided appropriate answers along the way.
Actually, he smirked, with innuendo and implication, and mystification, in a way that hinted at a mysterious other, encouraging the speculation, so naturally Lipson had another go ...
DAVID LIPSON: But it’s more than speculation because this has come from an Indonesian police chief and asylum seekers who claim that these people smugglers were paid $5000 in cash. Now the Prime Minister not willing to sort of rule it out outright as his Minister was. It has raised questions again hasn’t it?
MATHIAS CORMANN: The first point to make is that I am the Minister for Finance and I’m not involved in any way shape or form in day to day operational matters related to Operation Sovereign Borders...
Ah, you see, the pond's tip of the day has already come in handy:
MATHIAS CORMANN: ... The Prime Minister has essentially stuck to his very long standing practice not to provide a running commentary on operational matters. He didn’t confirm or deny. He didn’t make comment one way or the other. He certainly didn’t indicate that payments had been made. The Minister for Immigration as he always does, does provide answers as appropriate in relation to questions on these sorts of matters and he has on this occasion.
DAVID LIPSON: Finance Minister, Mathias Cormann thanks so much for that.
MATHIAS CORMANN: Always good to talk to you.
And good to listen, thanks to the ABC's News Radio picking up the conversation which turned up on Sky News, with transcript here.
As for the useless Terror, it was busy feeding kool aid to anyone who bothered to pick it up in the car wash.
So on return, the pond headed off to the Jakarta Post. See how the speculation is spreading, a bit like foot in mouth disease:
Yes you won't find any of that in the Terror or other Murdoch rags, busy going about the business of apple and turd polishing, and doing their hagiographic kool aid duty. Isn't it handy to have the full to overflowing intertubes, linking to that story here, rather than useless tree killers?
It was left to others to treat it as the sort of story deserving of attention:
That story was in the ABC here, and naturally the Graudian was in for the kill here, along with another story which is sure to see the Catholic-loving, wind turbine hating rabbit in a great deal of internal conflict next week:
Et tu Pope? Stick with your job and stop causing poor Tony such endless heartburn.
Which brings us back to the Terror. What do they offer today?
Ah yes, that be the compassionate Miranda "hang a greenie from the nearest lamp post" Devine.
Devine, of course, is well remembered for abandoning her career supping on News Corp kool aid and heading off to spend a couple of years working for a Mother Teresa outpost, so her indignation at the wickedness of lefties is well founded.
Never mind, it's Sunday, and the pond sees no reason to elevate its lick spittle drivel content above what is considered the safe winter level, and so we'll just dip in at the surface.
The Terror must be feeling the pinch, so it's upped its firewall level. You can still access the drivel if you google, but warning, if you do, you'll be confronted by a huge, narcissist, up there with Hollywood, portrait of the Devine at the top of the story.
It's beyond the valley of the bizarre, and so grotesquely large that the pond had to do a couple of screen caps to illustrate the enormity of it all:
Talk about hand-wringing self-aggrandisement on the back of human suffering.
But who can object to a member of the commentariat attempting to regain their long-lost humanity?
The sting came in the Catholic Devine's tail. It's clear she's already mentally whimpering at the forthcoming papal betrayal:
With no end in sight to Syria’s civil war, and ISIS going from strength to strength, closing in now on Fallujah, Barack Obama’s dithering and half-measures have caused more harm than good. Nor is there any point waiting for the UN to act.
It’s too preoccupied with stopping climate change.
How disgusting that the world’s most powerful nations will meet in Paris in December for a giant talk-fest on climate change, when the only climate they should be trying to change is the holocaust in the Middle East.
Et tu Pope? How disgusting ...
The pond is thinking of setting up a refugee camp for dissident malcontent climate denialist Catholic members of the commentariat fleeing the church, but we simply don't have the resources to hand. All we can do is suggest a strategy ...
Posted by dorothy parker at 6/14/2015 08:16:00 AM